Chapter 19
Bryson
“It’s hard enough to figure out what you want, trying to figure out what someone else wants is a fool’s errand.”
~ Rowan O’Sullivan
“Another night off, huh?” Jade called out as she polished glasses and set them on the bar. “That’s the third time you’ve played hooky this week. You sure you know what you’re doing?”
“I came in to help you open,” I pointed out as I finished counting the drawer in a booth along the wall. “I deserve a night off every now and then.”
“Hey, I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just saying I don’t think you’ve taken three nights off in the two years you’ve been running this place, much less in one week.”
It was true. I hadn’t taken a single night off since I’d started managing the bar. The Cow had been my top priority. I was still committed to it, but now I had another priority: Kelsi. And there was a chance that if I let things play out, we’d end up together. But I didn’t want to leave the single most important thing in my life up to chance. I wanted to do everything I could to make it happen.
I could feel my sister’s stare on me. Without looking up, I asked, “Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes, and I already asked it.” She repeated slowly, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? With Kelsi?”
“Yep.” My answer was short and clipped. This wasn’t a conversation that I wanted to have since the only thing I knew so far was that I wanted to be with Kelsi. I hadn’t figured the rest of it out yet.
“Okay, you don’t have to cop an attitude. I’m your sister. I have a right to talk to you when I see something in your life that I’m worried about.” Jade set down the towel she’d been using to wipe down the glasses and rounded the bar. She sat across from me in the booth. “Look, I love Kelsi. She’s the best and Milo is great, too. He’s hilarious and smart and reminds me of you at his age. But, their lives seem complicated right now and, I don’t know, I just…she doesn’t seem like…you know like she’s that…” Jade rolled her hands in a circle.
It wasn’t like my sister to be at a loss for words. I didn’t know sign language, but even if I did, I doubted it would help me decipher what my sister was trying to say. I gave her a minute to finish her thought, and when she didn’t, I asked, “Are you trying to say that she’s just not that into me?”
“No.” She shook her head before tilting it to the side as she scrunched her nose. “I mean, yes. I mean, I think she likes you, but from what she was saying last night at girls’ night, I don’t think she wants anything serious. And I’m worried. I just…I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
It was kind of sweet that my tough-as-nails sister was worried about me, but it was also kind of irritating. “Thanks, but I’m a big boy, Jade.”
“I know you are. I said I don’t want anyone to get hurt, not just you. I’m worried about her, too.”
I was trying to stay calm and not get frustrated because I knew my sister was coming from a good place. But, I didn’t want to talk about this. It was personal. It was private. I was protective of Kelsi and what we had, even if I wasn’t sure exactly what we had. Whatever it was, it was none of my sister’s or anyone else’s business. “Didn’t you just say that you didn’t think she was that into me?”
“Yes, but I’m worried because, let’s keep it real, you’re used to girls falling all over themselves around you.”
“No, they don’t.” My sister liked to exaggerate my prowess. I was a bartender at a popular bar. Women come in looking for attention, safe attention, and I give it to them. It’s not that I was so irresistible.
“Okay, fine,” she conceded as she lifted her hands. “They don’t fall all over you. But I’ve never seen you have to work to be with any of them. Not any that you wanted to be with.”
I was about to disagree with her, but I realized she was right. I didn’t tell her that, though. But I was pretty sure she took my silence as agreement.
She continued, “I’m just worried that this might be about the chase for you. Kelsi has walls up. And I don’t think it’s fair for a guy,” she motioned towards me as her voice rose, “to break down those walls because he thinks he’ll like what’s behind them. But then when he sees what’s there, doesn’t, and leaves! The walls are there for a reason! Don’t break down walls if you don’t plan on taking care of and protecting what’s behind them!”
“Whoa.” I sat back. “Are we still talking about me?”
I’d never seen my sister get this worked up about something that didn’t have to do with her. This rant seemed personal, but I had no idea who it was about. Jade dated a lot, but from everything I’d seen, it was casual. She’d never had a serious boyfriend.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she was much more composed. “Sorry. That was…it’s not important. All I’m trying to say is, Kelsi and Milo haven’t had the easiest time. From what I’ve heard, she’s been through a lot. She’s tough, and she’s survived it, but don’t be one more thing that she has to survive.”
With that dramatic statement, Jade stood and stomped across the wood dance floor and straight into the back room. As I watched my sister go, all I could think about was her outburst and I wondered who the hell that tirade had been about. Who had hurt her? I wanted to go in and demand that she tell me, but that would be about as effective as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
Since I couldn’t do anything about that situation, I figured I should do something about the Kelsi situation.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent Kelsi a text.
I’ll be at your house in thirty, we can walk together. Can’t wait to see you.
As soon as I sent it, I saw the bubbles come up indicating that she was replying. Within a second, her response popped up on my screen.
We said we would meet there.
Yeah. That was before my sister said she didn’t think I was serious about this. That was before she made me think about what’s behind the walls. That was before she made me want to protect and take care of whatever it was.
Plans changed. See you in fifteen.
When I didn’t see bubbles appear, I figured she wasn’t going to message back and I put my phone in my pocket. But as soon as I did, it vibrated. I pulled it back out.
Delilah was right. You are bossy and impatient.
I smiled at the rolling eyes emoji that she included and also because she hadn’t said that I couldn’t come pick her up. It was a baby step, but I would take it as long as it was walking in the right direction.