Chapter 23
Kelsi
“You don’t learn much when everything goes right.”
~ Rowan O’Sullivan
I checked the clock as my fingertips patted my cheek. After some encouragement from Destiny, I’d come up with a new moisturizing mask that could be used at home, and I was trying it for the first time. I had no idea what the results were going to be, but it smelled delicious. Milo was due home any second. I’d wanted to go pick him up at the bus stop but he’d insisted on walking. He’d also requested Goodfellas pizza, which I’d just placed the order for and would be here in thirty minutes. And we were finally going to watch Tommy Boy.
I looked around my sparkling clean rental house and took a deep breath. Today really had felt like the first day of the rest of my life. I’d accomplished a lot. I’d finished unpacking all of the boxes in the garage, done all of mine and Milo’s laundry, gone grocery shopping, prepped dinners for the week and come up with two new recipes. This was the first time I’d stopped since waking up at six this morning, and my mind immediately went the one place that I’d been doing everything in my power to avoid at all costs.
As much as I’d love to say that a new lease on life had motivated my productivity, I knew that wasn’t the case. The truth was, I’d been staying as busy as possible so I wouldn’t have the time or energy to think about Bryson. Any second that I wasn’t actively focused on something, my mind didn’t just drift to him, it sped like it was being chased by the cops.
Bryson was so much more than the box I’d put him in when I’d met him. He wasn’t a bad boy at all. He was a good man. The best man I’d ever met.
He was hardworking and he loved his family. He was funny, smart, charismatic, sweet, generous, and the best kisser I’d ever lip-locked with. All of that and he also happened to be the hottest and sexiest guy that I’d ever laid eyes on. For once, my head, heart, and hormones had all gotten it right, and I still couldn’t be with him.
If I weren’t so heartbroken over it, I’d have to laugh. This had to be some kind of cosmic joke. I hoped the universe was getting a kick out of it because I wanted to throw up.
There was a knock at the door, and my heart jumped in my chest. “Stop,” I whispered to myself in frustration as I walked to answer it.
It’s not Bryson.
He’d messaged me this afternoon to see if he could take Milo and I out to dinner tonight to celebrate him being home from camp. I declined his invitation, saying that Milo and I were just going to hang out and have take-out. He hadn’t texted back.
Last night, after a marathon of lovemaking, while I was falling asleep snuggled up against him, I’d asked him not to be here when I woke up in the morning. He’d tried to convince me that we should spend the day together before Milo came home, but I’d stayed strong and insisted. And apparently, he was the perfect guy, because he’d respected my request. He hadn’t even left me a note this time. Now, all I had to do was continue to stay strong for the next five years, and I’d be home free.
I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and pulled, expecting to see Milo thinking he must’ve forgotten his keys or a super early pizza deliveryman. What I found wasn’t the pizza boy or my brother.
“Russell?” I said in shock. “What are you doing here?”
“I was worried when you weren’t texting me back,” he said as if that explained why he was in Wishing Well.
“So you came here?”
“Yes.”
“You could’ve called me.”
It wasn’t that I’d been intentionally avoiding him. I hadn’t texted him back over the past week because he’d just texted things like I miss you and I hope you’re doing well. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say back to that…thanks? Thumbs up emoji?
“Can I come in?”
No.
I’d spent years with the man standing in front of me. I had once planned on marrying him, and yet now he felt like a stranger to me. “Sure.”
He walked past me. “New product?”
“What?” I closed the door.
He motioned towards me as he walked to the couch and sat down. “Your face.”
“Oh, yeah.” I was in so much shock I’d totally forgotten the mask. “Let me go wash this off.”
I turned to walk to the bathroom, grateful for the excuse to have a moment alone to gather my thoughts and regain the equilibrium that had been thrown off-balance.
I’d made it maybe three steps when the front door flew open.
“KiKi, I had so much fu—” Milo stopped up short, just inside the door when he saw Russell sitting on the couch. His voice went from happy and open to cold and angry. “Who are you?”
“Milo, this is Russell. Russell this is my little brother, Milo.”
“Nice to meet you, Milo.” Russell stood awkwardly. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Milo looked at me, and I could see the pain and betrayal there. He started to push past me, and I followed him. When he got to his room, he threw his bag on his bed. “Milo, he just showed up. He’s not staying.”
“I don’t care.” He flopped on his bed.
I’d thought my heart was as broken as it could possibly be, but I’d been wrong. It broke more hearing those three words again. This was definitely one of those times that I was glad I didn’t cry when I was sad because I would have been sobbing.
Trying to get some control back in my life, I calmly said, “I’m going to go ask him to leave. The pizza should be here soon, and then we can watch Tomm—”
“I’m not hungry,” he interrupted.
“Fine. More pizza for me.” I smiled, trying to pretend he wasn’t looking at me like I’d just betrayed him worse than the Night’s Watch had to Jon Snow on Game of Thrones.
I started to leave, knowing that I needed to deal with one crisis at a time. First, get Russell out of the house. Second, build trust back with my brother. Third, wash this mask off my face as it was starting to crack and crumble.
“Can I use your phone? I want to call Sadie.” He asked before I’d made it out of the room.
Relief washed over me that he had someone to talk to. Someone sweet that cared about him.
“Sure.” I pulled it from my back pocket, and when I handed it to him, I noticed I had a new message from Bryson. As much as I wanted to, I didn’t have time to check it and respond. It was just going to have to take a number. I tossed the device to Milo and headed back to the front room.
Russell was sitting on the couch on his phone when I returned. When he heard me walk in, he lifted his head and said flatly, “Nice kid.”
Anger boiled up in me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that it wasn’t him that I was mad at. It was my mom. It was my childhood. It was Milo’s childhood. It was all the guys that my mom had dated and all the guys that I had dated. It was the fact that I was head over heels in love with the greatest guy on the planet and because of all of those things, I couldn’t be with him. But, since Russell was here, I focused it all on him.
“Yeah, he is. He’s a great kid. But you wouldn’t know that because you don’t know him. You want to know why? Because when I told you that I was going to be taking custody of him, you asked me where to send my things. You ended things, and I just want to say thank you, thank you for doing something that I should have done years ago.”
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.” He held his hand out and started to walk towards me. “I know why you’re mad, Kels, but just let me expl—”
“No. You don’t know why I’m mad. You don’t know anything about me. And that’s my fault, not yours.”
“Kelsi, I miss you. I want us to get back together. Milo’s going to be an adult in a few years. I’ll deal with it so we can be together.”
This guy was clueless.
I realized then that nothing I could say would make him understand where I was coming from, and he didn’t even deserve me wasting my breath. All of the anger transformed into urgency to talk to Milo before he built, even more, walls that I would need to climb over.
I walked to the door and opened it, staring at Russell the whole time. “I need you to leave, Russell. I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here. This is over. There’s nothing that could ever change that.”
“Hey, is this a bad time?” I looked out the door and saw Carter the pizza boy standing on my porch.
Great. “No, sorry. Let me go get the money.”
I rushed past Russell to the kitchen and grabbed a twenty out of my purse. As I walked back to Carter, I passed the window over my sink and caught a glimpse of my reflection. I looked like a sea creature.
Could this night get any worse?
When I handed the money to Carter, I got my answer.
Yes. It could.