“You’re saying your love for my father destroyed you?”

“In some ways.”

“Then why would you keep pursuing him? Were you some kind of glutton for punishment?”

A plastic smile formed on her face. “Nothing about your father was ever punishing. Except in the bedroom.”

I really wasn’t up for hearing about my father’s bedroom antics with this woman. Really, there were some things I didn’t need to know. But if it would shed some light…

I had to force the words out. “What do you mean by that?”

“He liked bondage, your father. And so did I.”

Big TMI. “Is that so?”

“Yes. He loved to tie me up. Didn’t like being tied up himself, though.”

I cleared my throat. “Oh?”

“No. Not at all. These last several years have been hell for him.”

What? I stood. “You have my father tied up somewhere? As a prisoner? You vicious bitch!”

Back to her plastic smile. “Ryan, is that any way to talk to your mother?”

I looked to the orderlies. “We’re done here. This bitch should be in chains somewhere. I won’t be back.”

I walked out as my phone buzzed. Two texts from Ruby, the first one telling me she wouldn’t be able to make dinner tonight. The second one had just come in.

I’m at Valleycrest ER. My boss has been shot. We need to talk.

---

“It crossed my mind at first,” Ruby said, after explaining what had happened, “that somehow Mark was in cahoots with my father. Then I took the thought out of my head. I’ve known him for three years. He’s a good cop. I wanted to respect his integrity.”

“You might not have been wrong,” I said. “If he’s as good a martial artist as you say he is, he should have been able to disarm your father. And how did Mathias get into the station with a gun, for God’s sake?”

She shook her head. “I can’t go there. I can’t play the ‘what if’ game and figure out every scenario. My boss was shot, and it’s all my fault.”

“Christ, Ruby, haven’t we had this talk? How the hell is this your fault?”

Ruby stood, pulling at a few locks of hair that had come loose from her ponytail. “Because he’s my fucking father! When will this all end, Ryan?”

Wouldn’t I like to know? I had no answer to that question, so I said only, “You know it’s not your fault.”

“He was there. Right within my reach, but I let him go to save my boss, who might have been in on the whole thing. I made the wrong decision.”

“You did what you thought was right. No one can fault that.”

“But if I let him go to save a man that might be in on it with him?”

“So you believed in your boss. You’ve known him a while. He’s always been a good cop, hasn’t he?”

“As far as I know. Not a spot on his record. But obviously that doesn’t mean shit.”

“You’re not clairvoyant, Ruby.”

“I should be. When it comes to Theodore Mathias, I should be a fucking mind reader after all this time.” She sat back down. “Damn! I should have gone with my first instinct. I had the feeling I was being played, that Mark was somehow in on it. Why didn’t I go with that? I’ve always trusted my intuition before.”

“Is his wife here?” I asked.

She nodded. “She’s with some family over there.” She gestured to a woman flanked by several others in the corner of the large waiting area.

“What’s the prognosis?”

“I haven’t heard anything yet. He’d better fucking live, though. I have a lot of questions for the bastard.”

“You don’t know—”

“Oh, yes, I do,” she said. “That’s the very last time I ignore my intuition. The very fucking last time. How could I have been so stupid?”

I rubbed her forearm. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“Easy for you to say.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but shut it before the words came out. She didn’t need to hear all about my visit with my mother. At least not yet.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “That wasn’t fair.”

No, it wasn’t. But again, I didn’t say it.

A doctor in blue scrubs entered the area and walked straight to Ruby’s boss’s wife. A few words were exchanged, and then the woman let out a heavy sob.

“Looks like he didn’t make it. Well, that’s what getting involved with my father gets you.” A tear slid down Ruby’s cheek, and she wiped it away angrily. “He doesn’t deserve any tears. No one involved with my father does.”

I took her hand and pulled her back down beside me. “You still don’t know exactly what happened.”

“And now that he’s gone, I never will.” She sighed. “I suppose I should say something to his wife.”

“No, you don’t have to. That can wait. She has her family with her. She’ll be okay. You and I need to get out of here.”

“And go where?”

“What about our dinner?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I couldn’t eat.”

“All right. To the hotel then.”

She attempted a smile. “I’m really not in the mood, Ryan.”

I smiled and took her hand. “You leave that to me.”

---

I handed Ruby the glass of wine I’d poured for her from the bottle of Steel Merlot that I picked up at the hotel bar.

She took a deep gulp and sighed. “Good,” she said.

“I’m sorry about all you’ve been through,” I said.

“Tonight? Or my whole life?” She took another sip of wine.

“Both. You’ve seen more than a person should have to.”

“So have you. And I’m sorry, too.”

I brushed my lips across hers, just that small contact igniting my groin. “You want to talk?”

She sighed again. “About what? What else is there to talk about? It is what it is.” She smiled. “You know what? I want to fuck.”

I widened my eyes. I couldn’t believe those words had come from this woman who mere weeks ago had been a virgin, and who mere minutes ago had said she wasn’t in the mood.

“You can’t escape by fucking,” I said. “God knows I’ve tried, as you know.”

“True. But what’s wrong with wanting to feel good, if only for a little while?”

I smiled. “Absolutely nothing.” I took her glass from her and set it on the table. I looked at her. She looked exhausted, her hair falling out of her high ponytail, her eyes heavy lidded. She wore her regular work uniform of Dockers and a button-down. We still had to work on her wardrobe…

But right now, I wanted only to offer her comfort. And, to be honest, I wanted some comfort in return.

The talk with my mother had left me strangled. I’d been angry at her, calling her a vicious bitch. It was no less than she deserved. Was my father truly being held captive somewhere? I knew better than to take anything my mother said at face value. I’d left angry, saying I wouldn’t be back.

But that was a lie.

I’d be back. I’d go back until this whole thing was solved.

My fucking mother…

She’d given me that bracelet. The sapphire bracelet that my father had supposedly given her. I’d been carrying it around in my pocket since. I wasn’t sure why. It certainly wasn’t to feel closer to Wendy. I couldn’t stand the woman who’d given me life. I’d thought it tainted.

But no, it wasn’t tainted. It had belonged to my grandmother.

As I looked at Ruby, her eyes a perfect match to the sapphires set in silvery white, I suddenly knew the perfect thing to do with it.

I’d give it to Ruby. It would be beautiful against her milky skin.

Oddly, it hadn’t crossed my mind to give it to Ruby at the time, but now, looking at her, so forlorn and empty, I wanted her to have it. The piece had been made for her. It would never have shined upon Wendy—or even my grandmother, according to the photos I’d seen—the way it would illuminate Ruby.

I pulled it out of my pocket, the weight of it heavy in my palm. “I have something for you.” I held it out to her.

“What is this?”

“It’s a bracelet. It’s made for you. I didn’t know it until just now, but that is why I have it. To give it to you.”

“You didn’t buy it?”

I couldn’t lie to her. Would she take it if she knew the truth?

“My mother gave it to me. She said it belonged to my grandmother, and that my father gave it to her when I was born.” I let out a small huff, shaking my head. “I have no idea if that’s the truth or not. Who fucking knows? All I know is I’ve kept it with me, wondering what the hell I’d do with it, and when I looked at you just now, I knew.”

She fingered the bracelet. “It is beautiful.”

“It was made for my grandmother, and it was made for you.”

“Was it?” She bit her lower lip. “I don’t think I can accept it.” She held it back to me.

Suddenly, it became more important than anything for her to accept and wear this bracelet—as if it would give me something good to take out of the relationship with the woman who was my mother.

“Please. I want you to have it. Honestly. I had no idea why it fell in my lap, but now I do. Here.” I took it from her and clasped it around her right wrist. “It fits perfectly. It truly was made for you. Look at the color against your skin. And it matches your eyes.”

“It’s not really me.” She scoffed. “Look at me. I can’t pull something like this off.”

“You can.” I fingered the jewels around her wrist. “You’re beautiful. So much more beautiful than any trinket could ever be.”

She shook her wrist. “This is hardly a trinket.”

“Maybe not. But it’s perfect on you. Please. Keep it. For me.”

“It’s a lovely gift, but it’s not something you bought for me, Ryan. Why is it so important to you that I keep it?”

How could I explain? “Because I’m not sure I could pick anything out that better suits you, baby. And if you keep this and wear it, then in some obscure way, I can feel like having Wendy Madigan for my mother isn’t just a curse. Maybe something good came out of it.”

She smiled and caressed my cheek, the bracelet sparkling as she moved. “Something very good did come out of it, Ryan. You.”

My heart nearly melted. How I loved this woman. I pulled her to me in a soft embrace. “You’re wonderful,” I whispered in her ear. “Please keep the bracelet.”

She pulled away. “If it means that much to you, I’ll keep it. But honestly, when would I wear it? It’s certainly not appropriate for work.”

“You’ll wear it tonight,” I said. “You’ll wear that bracelet…and nothing else.”