Huh?

I’d heard him say he loved me three different times, and each time I’d ached to say it back to him, to reaffirm what I knew in my heart to be true.

But move in with him?

So not happening.

I must have had my jaw dropped nearly to the floor, because he pushed my chin upward.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

While in the shower, when he had me against the wall, our bodies sopping together as he made love to me, I’d decided to tell him my feelings. To tell him I loved him.

Now? I wasn’t sure what to say about anything.

“I…”

“What?”

“I can’t move in with you.”

“Sure you can.”

This was so Ryan. This was the Ryan I’d gotten to know in Jamaica. The Ryan who took charge, didn’t take no for an answer, always got what he wanted, flipped words around to suit his purpose.

After he found out that Wendy Madigan was his mother, rather than become distant, he’d come to me, nearly forced himself on me, and surprise of all surprises, I hadn’t said no.

I’d wanted it.

I’d wanted him. I’d wanted to help him in any way I could. I still wanted that. But moving in with him wouldn’t help him, and it wouldn’t help me either.

“You’re crazy,” I said.

“About you.”

That got a smile out of me. That was another classic Ryan Steel line, like the ones he’d given me in the Caribbean—the ones I’d tried so hard to resist but couldn’t.

“Look, I—”

He placed two fingers over my lips. “You don’t have to tell me you love me, Ruby.”

“But I—”

He shushed me again. “Whether you do or not—yet—doesn’t matter. I need you safe. You’ll be safe here.”

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“I’m not saying you aren’t.”

“Well, yeah, you kind of are. I’m not moving in with you just to be safe. That’s not what I’m about.”

“Then move in with me because you want to.”

It would be so easy to say yes. To confess my love for him—and I did love him beyond reason—and shield myself behind his walls. Behind him.

But I couldn’t. That wasn’t who I was. That wasn’t who I’d ever be.

I cupped his cheek. “Ryan, are you sure you love me?” I hated the words as soon as they left my lips. This was “insecure-about-men Ruby” coming out. He’d only recently taken my virginity. He was the only man I had any experience with. Why in the world would he want me?

“I don’t say things I don’t mean,” he said, his dark eyes serious.

No, he didn’t. I knew that much about him.

“It’s just…so much has gone on in the last two weeks. Your mother—”

“My mother isn’t who I thought she was. I’m dealing with that. I’m still dealing with your part in it, as well. But I can’t deny my feelings any longer. When you got that text…” He raked his fingers through his damp hair. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you being in danger. Even potential danger. I’ve been living the past several months with everyone I love being in potential danger, and I’m damned sick of it, Ruby. So you’re moving in here.”

“Don’t go all caveman on me,” I said. “It isn’t you.”

“Maybe it is me. Maybe I want to have some semblance of control over my life.”

“You can’t control me.”

“Damn it!” His fingers threaded through his hair once more. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

I knew what he meant. His life had been turned upside down, and now he wanted to take it back. Beginning with me, apparently.

I took his hand and caressed his palm. “Look. I get it. I get what you’ve been through. But me moving in with you isn’t the answer.”

“What do I have to do?” His eyes blazed with dark fire. “Fuck you into submission?”

I arched my brows, and my pulse beat rapidly in my neck. Goose bumps erupted all over my flesh, and a flaming arrow shot between my legs. My clit began to throb, and before I knew it, the familiar scent of my arousal permeated the bedroom.

Ryan’s eyes glazed over, and he inhaled. He smelled it too.

Did I want to be fucked into submission?

Hell, no. At least not the rational, logical part of me.

But part of me did. The part that wanted to surrender to Ryan Steel in all his masculine glory.

And that frightened me. Big time.

He walked toward me, like a wolf stalking his mate. My rational brain screamed at me to push him away, get out of there, run like hell.

But my libido overrode all reason. He was going to try to fuck me into submission, and I wasn’t going to stop him.

A simple “no” would do it. I knew that. Ryan Steel wasn’t a rapist. He wasn’t any kind of criminal. But he was domineering. He had been since the beginning, always getting what he wanted in that jovial way of his. He was far from jovial now, though.

My heart nearly thumped out of my chest, and my tummy fluttered with anxiety. Yet I didn’t stop him when he grabbed my shoulders. Didn’t stop him when he lifted me in his strong arms and carried me to his bed. Didn’t stop him when he nearly ripped the terry robe from my body and spread my legs harshly.

No. I didn’t stop him.

I didn’t want to.

I wanted this, and I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. He knew this about me, so he knew it now. He knew how much I wanted this. Wanted him.

He didn’t speak. He acted with feral ferocity, thrusting his tongue between my legs. Then he stopped, staring at me, inhaling.

My arousal. He was smelling my arousal like a damned animal. Such a turn-on. His eyes were closed, and still he said nothing. Just continued inhaling the aroma that hung in the air.

So I inhaled, and I could smell his arousal too. The scent of lust. It was thick around us.

Finally, he opened his eyes, so dark in their intensity, and began licking between my legs.

My nipples pebbled, and I moved one hand toward my breasts to squeeze them, but he brushed it away and began fingering both of my nipples as he licked me.

I closed my eyes again and became a slave to him, to the feelings he evoked within me. I lifted my hips, gliding them up and down, grinding against his lips and face. The stubble on his cheeks and chin scratched me in the most delicious way. I’d have some nasty razor burn, but I didn’t care. I needed this. Needed him. I continued grinding into him, his stubble scratching the inside of my thighs now. He kept up with my movements, sucking me, thrusting his tongue inside me and then tugging on my clit.

I skyrocketed and climbed to the precipice. All of my energy pulsing outward and inward to my secret-most core.

When I finally came down, he was still eating me, and although I whimpered when he took one of his hands from my breasts, I was elated when he thrust two fingers in my pussy. I cried out his name—once, twice, three times. He finger fucked me, moving his fingers in such a way that every part of my pussy walls felt him.

I had nothing to compare this to, but I couldn’t even begin to fathom that sex with anyone else could ever be this good. Ryan Steel touched something inside me, something I had ignored for far too long.

When I started another climax, he flipped me over and shoved his cock into me from behind.

Slap!

I gripped the covers when his hand came down on my ass.

I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for his palm to come down on me again.

It didn’t.

Part of me was relieved. Part of me, disappointed.

Who was I? I wasn’t sure I knew anymore.

He grunted on top of me, continuing to plunge into me. He said nothing, which surprised me. Normally he talked during sex. Dirty talk. Dirty talk I had come to enjoy. But not this time. This time he was in pure animal mode, taking me.

And I was letting him.

With each thrust, I became more his. I lost more of myself inside of his body.

And suddenly, a lance of fear so sharp speared straight into my heart.

“Ryan,” I whispered into the covers, knowing he wouldn’t hear me.

“Ryan,” I whispered again.

He was all body, all physical, as he continued to slam into me. With each thrust, I felt more of what made me Ruby seeping out and melting into the bed. Leaving me.

I no longer whispered his name. Because though my first instinct was to tell him to stop, I didn’t want him to stop. Part of me wanted this. Part of me wanted to become part of him, to lose myself in him.

Another orgasm was imminent, but I bit my lip, fighting against it, fearing that if I came, all that was Ruby Lee would become encompassed in all that was Ryan Steel.

I couldn’t let that happen. Even though a big part of me wanted to let it happen.

Finally, he pushed into me so deeply and let out a loud groan. His orgasm. By now I was flat on the bed. He had fucked me so hard that I had fallen from my hands and knees.

Though my body was sated, my mind whirled. Ryan loved me. He’d said so three times, even though I hadn’t returned his words despite feeling them in the depths of my heart, my soul.

He rolled off of me onto his back so that he was lying beside my prone form. I turned on my side to look at him. His chest was moving up and down rapidly, his body shiny with perspiration, his arm over his forehead, covering his eyes.

What was he thinking? I glanced at his clock on the night table. It was past midnight. Not surprising.

I wanted to go back to my apartment. I was a cop, for God’s sake. I couldn’t let some anonymous text scare me away from my own home. Yet that other part of me—that part that wanted to lose myself in Ryan Steel—didn’t want to leave.

Ryan let out a soft snore. He had fallen asleep.

No way was I going to fall asleep with my mind racing as it was. I would stay here—only because I couldn’t stand the idea of Ryan waking up and finding me gone. I couldn’t do that to him.

I had to work things out, and this was all so new to me that I knew I couldn’t do it on my own.

Tomorrow I would call Melanie and begin therapy. I needed to figure myself out. I needed to be whole for Ryan.

But first, when he woke up, I would tell Ryan Steel that I loved him.