“How much did you have to drink?” I asked as I led her through the front door.

She belched out a tiny burp. “Too much, apparently.”

Apparently.

“Shelly was really mad about that. Told me not to drink any more.”

“Well, it’s not safe,” I reminded her.

“No, it wasn’t that. Not my safety she was worried about.”

Riddles again.

“Have you talked to Lynn?” I asked. I wanted to plead with her to tell me something, anything.

“Have you talked to Lynn?” she parroted, changing the pitch of her voice. “Is that all you think about? Lynn, Lynn, Lynn.”

“Yes.” Might as well be truthful. She was all I thought about. She was gone, damn it. “How did you end up hanging out with Shelly?” I tried to sound casual, but my question was anything but.

She shrugged. “She contacted me. Said we needed to talk. We talked.” Her eyes avoided mine.

“About what?”

She rolled her eyes. “About Lynn. What else?”

“Did she tell you anything important?” I set her backpack, which I’d taken from the car where she’d forgotten it, on the floor.

“No.” She sighed. “I did try, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. She just assured me Lynn’s fine. She’s going through some stuff and needs some time.” She finally looked up at me. “Lynn’s fine. Shelly did tell me Lynn’s fine.”

The constant vise that had been squeezing my heart eased a little.

“Shelly put a hurting on that guy at the bar. I was actually worried for a minute.” She suddenly looked sober. Completely sober.

“Ash?” I asked.

She nodded. “Still me.” She smiled a self-deprecating smile.

“You should probably take a shower. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

She dragged one finger down the wall as she headed toward the guest bedroom. “Too drunk,” she said. “Can’t.”

I motioned toward her. “Come on,” I said, waving her in my direction. “I’ll help you.”

She hopped and squealed. “You mean it?”

“Yes.” I tried not to grin. “Come on.”

She started to sing, “You’re gonna wash me because you love me.”

“Quit playing around and come on.”

She stumbled as she walked into my bedroom.

“Why were you drinking tonight?” I asked as I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. I started to take my clothes off, because I knew she was going to get me wet.

She shook her head. “Sometimes, it’s a struggle.” She kicked off her shoes, making them fly across the room, and lifted her arms to pull her shirt over her head, but got stuck. I went to help her, lifting her arms and peeling her shirt off like she was a baby. She unhooked her bra and shrugged out of it.

“What’s a struggle?” I asked as I helped her step out of her pants and panties. She lifted her foot so I could pull off her socks.

“Staying alive,” she said candidly. “Sometimes it’s hard. Life can be exhausting.”

I didn’t think Ash had ever been this upfront with me. “I’d be sad if anything ever happened to you, if you went away completely.”

She wiped her eye where a tear had suddenly formed. “You won’t ever send me away, will you?”

“Why would you ask a question like that?” I helped her step beneath the spray, and she lifted her face to the water.

She spoke as the water cascaded across her lips. “That’s what Shelly wanted to talk about. She wonders if all of us should give you and Lynn some space. Let you be you for a while.”

I froze. “Shelly brought that up?”

She nodded. I picked up the shampoo and spilled some into my palm, and then started to work it into her hair. She moaned and turned away, bracing her hands on the wall, her head slightly back.

“How do you feel about that?” I lathered her hair, pretending to be absorbed in the task.

She suddenly stood up tall, almost falling over with the momentum. I caught her to me, naked skin to naked skin. “Oh, my God!” she cried. “You’re trying to shrink me!”

I laughed. “I am not.”

“You know the rule. You’re not allowed to shrink any of us. That was one of the rules from long ago.”

“I’m not shrinking you. I just want to know where your head is at.” I turned her so I could rinse the soap from her hair.

“You’d miss me if I left, right?” she asked.

“Desperately,” I said quietly. It was the truth.

She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Will you make love to me?”

I pulled her arms down and said, “Not tonight.”

She wilted like a dying flower.

“But you can sleep with me if you get all that makeup off. I don’t like it on my pillows.” I handed her a soapy cloth and she started to wipe the smudge from her face.

She cleaned until she blinked up at me, her face naked, and in that moment, she looked so pure and so clean that I couldn’t even remember what she hid behind the makeup anymore.

I moved her from under the spray, and washed myself as she soaped her body with the cloth. Suds fell from the tips of her breasts, and I had to force myself to look away. I closed my eyes and let the water run over my face. Finally I stepped out, wrapping a towel around my hips, and she stepped back beneath the spray to wash her intimate places.

“I’m done!” she called. I turned off the water and wrapped her in a towel. She sat down at Lynn’s vanity and picked up her perfume bottle. “Do you want to pretend I’m her?” she whispered. She held the bottle at the ready.

“No.” I took it from her.

“Good, because pretending to be Lynn is fucking exhausting.” She dried her hair with the towel, blotting out excess water.

I went to the bed and slipped between the sheets. She walked naked around to the other side. “Do you want me to put clothes on?” she asked quietly.

I shook my head and motioned her forward, holding my arms open to her. “No.”

She fell against me, and I pulled the covers around us both. She threw one leg across my lap and snuggled in close, tucking her hand between me and the sheets on the other side.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” she said quietly.

I kissed her forehead. “I’d go just about anywhere for you.”

“Me?” she asked. “Not just Lynn?”

“Not just Lynn,” I said. And in that moment, I meant it.