I rolled onto my back on the bed, gasping for air. I turned my head to look over at Charlie, a grin stealing across my face, unbidden by me, but there nonetheless.

She chuckled, her chest heaving. “Damn, Mason. I forgot how good that could feel.”

Charlie rolled onto her stomach, and I could see the red handprints I’d left on her ass cheeks. I reached out to massage one, and she gasped. “Easy, Mason. It’s sore.”

That wasn’t the only part of her body that was sore, I’d wager. “You like it sore,” I reminded her. I bent and nibbled the cheek of her ass. Her butt flexed and rippled as she squealed and rolled away. I reached for her, but she scurried across the bed and then walked naked into the bathroom. She didn’t close the door all the way as she stopped to pee, and I listened as she washed her hands.

“Can I ask you something?” I called toward the bathroom as she turned the water off. I lifted the sheets to cover my lower half and rested the back of my head in the palms of my hands.

She came back out and walked, still naked, toward her canvas bag, which was sitting on a luggage rack in the corner of the room. She ignored my question as she rummaged through it for a minute, and then she gave up and picked my t-shirt up from the floor and pulled it over her head. She lifted it to her nose and sniffed it. “I have missed the way you smell, Mason,” she said quietly.

“Next time, don’t stay gone so long,” I said with a smile as I motioned her toward me. She crawled across the bed until she sidled up next to me, and then she leaned against my hip, her knees curled up.

“It was necessary,” she said.

“What was?” I lifted one hand from behind my head and set it on her naked thigh, so I could draw little circles on her skin. Really, I just wanted to be close to her.

“Staying gone so long,” she said. “It was necessary.”

I stopped moving my hand. “Why?”

“You and Lynn,” she said softy, “you have something special, and I was afraid this thing we have going on would mess it up.”

“How could it mess it up?”

She adjusted her legs nervously.

“Tell me,” I coaxed. I needed for someone to tell me something.

“Lynn’s my best friend,” she said, wincing as the word friend left her lips.

“And she’s my wife,” I reminded her.

“And after that week we spent together, I felt kind of like…” She shook her head and bit her lips together.

“What?”

“I felt like we got too close. That’s all.” She nervously got up and went to dig through her bag again. Then she went to the mini fridge and turned back to me. “Want a beer?”

“Sure.” I noticed she didn’t get one for herself. She got a lemon soda. Charlie could drink with the best of them. “What do you mean, we got too close?”

“I was—” She bit her lips together again and shook her head. “Never mind. It’s foolish.”

“Hey,” I said softly. “It’s not foolish to talk about your feelings. You have to be honest with me.”

“I was falling in love with you,” she rushed to say in one big breath. “I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t what I wanted. It was supposed to be just sex.” She stopped again. “Actually, it wasn’t supposed to be sex at all, but you were there in the house all alone, and Lynn was gone, and you were everything she’d said you were.”

I sat up. “What did she say I was?”

“She said you were funny and smart and sexy as hell, and all those things were true. But you were so much more.”

“That’s why you stayed away? Because you had feelings for me that went beyond sex?” My heart started to gallop in my chest.

“Yes. I had feelings for you. Coming back again wouldn’t have been fair to Lynn.” Her eyes darted around the room and then came back to land on me again. “Did you have feelings for me too?” she asked quietly. “You know what…” she suddenly blurted, “…don’t answer that.” She got up and went back to the bathroom. When she came out, I was still in the same place.

“I did,” I said succinctly. “I did have feelings for you. I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I did. Of course I did.” I flopped back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “I didn’t want to. But I couldn’t stop it.”

“You like me?” she asked, her voice quiet.

“I more than like you,” I admitted just as quietly.

“How many women have you had sex with?”

I closed my eyes tightly. “Four,” I admitted.

“So there’s Lynn, and me, and…two more?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Silence descended on the room. “During your whole lifetime, there have only been four?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

I covered my eyes with my forearms. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“The other two, they were after you met Lynn?”

“Yes.”

“One of them was Ash, right?”

I nodded, but couldn’t say the words.

“Jesus, Mason,” she cried. “Fuck! You’ve gone through her entire friend list.”

“Not the whole list.”

“You fucked Jamie, too.”

“Yes.”

“And Shelly?”

“No. Never.” I uncovered my eyes. “I have never fucked Shelly. Ever.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “No wonder she hates your guts,” she muttered.

I lifted my head to stare at her. “What?”

“Shelly’s a vain bitch, Mason. She’s the only one of us you’ve turned down.”

“I never turned her down. I just never had any desire to.”

She snorted. “Why not? Shelly’s hot.”

But Shelly didn’t further my relationship with Lynn. She couldn’t. “I just never had feelings for her. That’s all.”

“But you had feelings for the rest of us.”

“Have feelings, Charlie. Not past tense. Or I wouldn’t be here. You should know this much about me.” My gut churned with my admission. I was married to Lynn, but I knew what I felt for the others was real. I just didn’t know how to process that in my head. I didn’t know how to make it all right. I didn’t know how to get rid of the guilt that came with loving four women, all at the same time, for very different reasons.

Ash needed for me to love her. She needed to feel cherished.

Jamie needed someone who saw who she really was, beyond the scars.

Charlie needed someone who could take charge of her, so she could give up control. Control was a powerful aphrodisiac, and most people sought it. But not Charlie. Charlie took pleasure in giving it away.

“I love Lynn,” I said simply. “She is the love of my life.”

“I know.” Charlie took a deep breath. “I stayed away because I was worried you were struggling with that.”

“What about you, Charlie? What did you need?”

She shook her head. “I needed for Lynn to be okay. That’s all I’ve ever needed.”

How did Lynn ever find four such loyal friends, and a husband who was so easily tempted to fuck them all? Well, except for Shelly, and she didn’t really count.

“Does Lynn know about me?” I suddenly asked.

“What about you?” Charlie held her breath.

“About me and you and Ash and Jamie.”

“Jesus, Mason. You make it sound like we had a foursome. Can you even tell where one of us stops and the other starts?” Her voice had a bite to it.

I grabbed her and jerked her onto the bed, making her fall across me. She rolled to a stop and I covered her body with mine. “I’ve always known who was who. Always.”

“I believe you.” She nodded. “It’s just so hard. I have a feeling things are going to change, and I’m already missing you, Mason.” Her voice cracked and she blinked back tears.

“You’re coming back, right?” I rushed to ask.

She shook her head. “I can’t be certain.”

I stared down at her. She’d never shown emotion like this. Passion? Desire? Want? She’d shown me all of those, but never emotional hurt. “I would miss you if you were gone.”

She leaned up and kissed the tip of my nose. “I know.” She reached over and grabbed the remote. “You want to watch a movie?” She shoved me off her and I rolled, arranging the pillows under me.

“Sure.” I pulled her to lie across my chest. After the movie, we fell asleep wrapped up in one another, and when I woke up, she was gone.

She’d sneaked out like a thief in the night. And this time, instead of leaving me wondering when she’d be back, she left me with a fear that she never would.