Eve
So much has changed since I found Cy outside my door and in such a short period. He came to me on his own. He opened up to me. The things he said, no one should have to go through that. He doesn’t want to drag me down and doesn’t think he’s worth it. I’m going to prove to him that he is. That I want to be with him, regardless of what happened in the past or the difficulties the future will hold.
For now, he sleeps beside me, his hand holding mine. Me, on the other hand, I can't seem to fall asleep. I just lie here and watch him as the minutes tick by. The longer I do, the more my eyes adjust to the darkness. Earlier, he was going to use me like he did all those other women, and I was going to let him, because if that's what he needed to feel better, then I'd do what I could to help. There was also the selfish part of me that wanted to be taken by him. To be claimed and know what it felt like to have him inside of me. He stopped, though.
I roll to my back, my hand still in his and think back to my date with Finn. He is an amazing guy, but he's not my guy. He could be. However, the way he kissed me is nothing compared to how it felt to have Cy's lips on mine. The two aren't even in the same universe. Finn's kiss was sweet and a little heated. Cy's was possessive and demanding. He wanted me badly, and I wanted him just as much. It was all I could do to refrain from dragging him onto the bed and ridding him of his clothes, so he could sink into me. I had to move at his pace and let him lead. The last thing I wanted was for him to do something he regretted and run from me again.
My eyes begin to close as Cy stays on my mind, and sleep finally takes me.
****
"No. No, stop. Please, don't." Cy's words drift to me in sleep, and it takes me a moment to realize I'm not dreaming. I blink a few times. Cy is beside me thrashing in the bed. I'm not sure if I should try to comfort him or leave him be. If he lashed out at me, not realizing I'm not the one hurting him, I wouldn't be able to fight him off. He's so much bigger than me.
Hesitantly, I reach over to his arm. "Cy, wake up. It's only a dream."
"Evie? What are you doing here? I don't want you to see me like this," he cries. The morning light filters in through the sheer curtains. His body starts shaking. His eyes are still squeezed shut. He must think I'm in his dream.
I move my hand to his face. His skin is slicked with sweat. "You're dreaming. It's not real. Please wake up."
"You have to go. If Everett sees you..."
"I'm not going anywhere. He can't hurt you anymore." I've never wanted to inflict pain on someone as badly as I want to hurt Everett. That man doesn't deserve to be out in public after what he did to Cy. He should be behind bars. I know it's not for me to decide, that's completely up to Cy, given he is no longer a minor, but if he ever wanted to press charges, I'd be right there beside him.
"Everett, no. Let her go! You don't need her!"
"Cy, you have to wake up." I'm pushing on his shoulder now, hating the sheer anguish in his voice.
He sits up abruptly, causing me to lean away; his head whips from side to side to look around the room. He throws the blankets off and stands.
"Cy," I say gently. "You're okay. You're not in your bedroom. You're in mine."
He stops and turns toward me. "Evie?"
"Yes, I'm here."
Placing his head in his hands, he lets out a muffled cry. I quickly stand and go to his side. My arms wrap around him to hold him through his pain.
"He was there with us. He...he started touching you."
"He's not going to get me."
"I couldn't protect you. He had me tied to the bed."
"I wish I had been there all those years ago. I wish I could have helped you."
He lifts his head. My hand goes to his cheek to wipe away his tears. "Come back to bed."
"No, I can't sleep again after that. It felt too real."
I nod and look over at the clock on the nightstand: seven in the morning. Thank God, it's Sunday, and I don't have to go to work.
"I have an idea,” I say. “Are you up for leaving the apartment?"
"Do I have to see anyone?"
"No, it will be just us."
"Okay."
Maybe getting out of here and getting some fresh air will do us good. I rummage through my dresser for a pair of shorts and a tank top. I change quickly and give Cy a new toothbrush to use. We take his truck since it will be better for where I want to go than my car. Before we reach our destination, I have Cy stop at the café so I can pick up coffee and danishes for us.
We drive for about fifteen minutes until I direct him to turn onto a dirt road. It winds back through the woods and then it opens to a small clearing. No other cars today. I'm very thankful for that.
Cy takes his coffee, then I grab mine and the bag of danishes. He knows where we are but hasn't said anything since we left my apartment. After parking, we walk on a small dirt footpath with trees towering overhead until the sound of rushing water reaches our ears.
There are many trails that wrap around various parts of the falls our town is named after. Some have paths where the brush has been cleared and wooden planks have been laid down. Some have railings, which cross over the river; others wind through the woods on dirt paths to do more hiking. We are taking the path only the locals know about. The one hidden from the public, unless they stumble upon it.
We cut to the left and start down a small hill toward the river. We are forced to duck under low branches and step over fallen trees, but eventually we reach the spot I was aiming for.
Below the elevated, wooden bridge, upstream of the falls, is a small space where you can sit on large rocks right at the river's edge. The falls can be seen in the distance; the whooshing sound of the water as it cascades down to the river below, calms me. I thought it would be a good spot to take Cy. We take seats next to each other on a rock and I hold out a danish to him.
"I'm not hungry," he says.
"You should eat something. Just a few bites. Please."
He takes the danish from me, his fingers brushing over mine as he does. It sends a shiver up my spine. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice low.
"For what?"
"For showing up at your apartment unannounced. For pushing you away. For breaking down in front of you. And for you having to wake me out of a nightmare."
I turn to face him. He's watching the river as it flows past us; the water rippling as it goes over a few rocks. "You don't have to apologize for any of that. I'm only sorry I wasn't there when you first showed up."
"What about Finn?" he asks.
"What about him?"
"Are you going to see him again?"
I shrug. "That depends on you."
He finally turns to me, his eyes so light they could be crystals. "I don't want anything I do to impact you."
"It's too late for that. You've had an impact on me from the first day we met. Positive or negative, here we are."
"I want you to date Finn."
"You don’t mean that."
"I do. Evie, I'm no good. I'll just keep dragging you down with me. He's a good guy. He'll treat you well."
"And you'd treat me like shit?" I counter.
He stands abruptly, tossing the remainder of his danish down on the rock at his feet. He jumps down to the grass and starts walking into the forest. I quickly follow, running behind him until I reach for his arm and pull him to a stop.
"You don't get to keep walking away from me," I tell him. "At some point, I'm going to stop chasing you." In truth, I will stop chasing him, but I doubt I'll ever stop caring for him. There's only so much I can take, though. I will always be here for him, but I can't keep charging after him when he clearly wants to get away from me.
He whirls around. Anger and hurt evident on his face and in his tone. "Good! Maybe that's exactly what you need to do!"
"Stop it! Stop trying to destroy whatever this is between us before it even has a chance to start."
"I still can't wrap my head around why you want anything to do with me, Evie! I'm a fucking catastrophe.”
"You're my catastrophe."
I wrap my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him down to my lips. It's my turn to take control and kiss him. Our tongues touch, and my body heats with a fire. His hands drift down to my hips to hold me in place as he steps closer, causing our bodies to touch from our shoes to our lips. I love having him this close: the taste of tart cherries on his tongue from the danish, the sound of the falls at my back. His hands rise up my sides until he reaches my breasts. His thumbs skate over my nipples as I arch into his touch.
His hands remain in place, but he releases my lips. Our foreheads rest on one another. "You called me yours," he whispers.
"I did." I said it in the heat of the moment. Although, somewhere in the back of my mind, I wish it were true.
His eyes close as his fingers move to my hips and hold me tight. "Did you mean it? I need to know, Evie. Once you answer this question, there's no going back, so you better think about what you say."
I know my answer. What about him, though? "Will you keep running from me? Will you keep brushing me off every chance you get, acting like there's nothing between us?"
"You go first."
This could be a colossal mistake, or the first step in creating something amazing between us. "I meant it. Ever since that moment at your house, nothing has been the same. I can't stop thinking about you and wondering what it could be like if we were together."
"What about high school?"
"What happened in our pasts can't be changed. What matters now is how we treat each other going forward. I don't want anyone else, Cy."
"God, Evie." He presses his lips to mine again, but this time it's slow. We take our time kissing and showing each other how we feel with only our lips and tongues.
I pull back. "You didn't answer my questions."
He hugs me tightly against him. "I'm done running, but you'll have to be patient with me. I've never been with just one person. Plus, I'm still dealing with all my other shit."
"We can take it as slow as you want."
"I don't want to take it slow. I want to claim you right now. I want to run my hands over every inch of your body and commit each curve to memory. I want to feel you come apart while I'm buried deep inside you." Each word he says makes my body grow warmer. I want him badly.
"Cy..."
"The intensity of what I feel for you scares me. I've never felt like this for anyone. Only you, Evie."
I pull back to look in his eyes. "No more running."
"No more dating Finn," he growls his name.
I laugh. "Agreed. So, does this mean I'm your girlfriend?"
"I guess so. You're mine, and I'm yours. No dating anyone else."
"No fucking anyone else."
"Hell, no. I couldn't even stand for Parker to have dinner with you, let alone the thought of you in bed with another man."
"I'd hurt a bitch if she put her hands on you. I'm just warning you. I'm territorial."
"Baby, you haven’t seen territorial yet." I laugh.
We kiss again before heading back to the rock to pick up our discarded danishes and finish our coffee. The ride back to my apartment is quiet. Butterflies flutter in my stomach thinking about Cy as my boyfriend. I've never had a real boyfriend. Sure, I've dated and had fun but nothing long-term. No one I would even think about introducing to my parents. Although, they are in Florida, so they wouldn't meet anyone unless they came up to visit.
Cy cuts the engine of his truck once we are back at my apartment. I don't think either of us knows what to say or do. It's all so new between us.
"I don't know how to do this," he admits, mirroring my thoughts.
"I don't either."
"I'm not going to be your average boyfriend, Evie. I'm fucked in the head and have a lot of shit to wade through. I want to treat you right, but I'm sure I'll fuck up, too. It's not going to be easy dealing with me."
"I'm not looking for royal treatment. Just go with your gut. That's what I'm going to do. Don't worry about what's conventional. We do what feels right, and fuck everything else."
"Last chance. Are you sure you want to be with me?"
"Absolutely." I smile.
"Then give me that gorgeous mouth of yours."