Cy
Evie's been gone for one day and one night. It wasn't bad. I had a dreamless sleep, which I'll take any day of the week. I miss her something terrible, though. I never knew I could miss another person like this. Sure, I used to look forward to seeing her every day before we were together. Now that we are, I see her every night and am busy during the day. The weekends are just the two of us. Sometimes we have a meal with Parker. But I've gotten used to having Evie around all the time. She makes me happy, and that's something I haven't felt in years.
Normally, I don't work on the weekends unless someone needs something immediately. Like their computer isn’t working at all or does something it's not supposed to and it can't wait until Monday. Today, however, I'm working. It will keep my mind off of Evie being gone. I’m not sure how healthy it is to depend on another person so much, and I don’t want to think about it either. I don’t need another diagnosis. I’ve come to the realization I may never be one-hundred-percent healthy in the head.
I have a laptop that needs a new hard drive. I could order it, but a trip out of the house might do me some good. There are a few stores in the next town over that might have it. Before going there, I decide to stop for coffee.
While waiting in line at the small café, I take a minute to let my eyes wander over the other customers. No one I know, thank God. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. I'm on edge without Evie around and not sure how nice I'll be to someone I don't want to talk to.
There are two people ahead of me. The one at the counter moves aside to wait for her order. It's when she turns that I realize who it is. Fuck. I debate running back out the door so I don't have to face her, but a moment later her eyes find mine. My body stiffens, my hands clench into fists.
Her bottom lip begins to tremble, but she takes a deep breath to try and steel her features. She walks to me, stopping a foot away, forcing a smile. "Cy, it's nice to see you."
I can't help the anger that laces my tone. "Wish I could say the same."
Her dark hair is pulled into a loose bun, and her black suit is perfectly pressed. "Are you ever coming home?"
"Home?" I bellow. Every head in the place turns toward me. I drop my voice low and speak through clenched teeth. "That wasn't a home. Hasn't been since Dad died.”
She glances around and smiles to those still watching us, not wanting anyone to think ill of the Revere family. God forbid! "Please come back to the house with me. I want to talk." She leans in close so no one could hear her but me. "He's gone. I...I threw him out and filed for divorce."
I pull away from her, my eyes wide. Is she fucking high? She throws him out, after he spends years abusing me, does nothing about it, and now she wants me to talk to her? Holding her eyes, I seethe, "Fuck off."
The customers in front of me move after placing their order. Harshly, I tell the girl what I want. The barista appears taken aback by my tone, but I'm above caring at this point. I want my coffee and to get the fuck away from my mother.
When I move to the side to wait, she follows; picking up her ordered drink. "I'm sorry," she says in a hushed voice. “I didn't..." she chokes back a sob, not wanting anyone to see her cry.
"You should have been sorry when I first told you. You should have believed me. You should have thrown him out then."
My coffee is made quickly. I breeze past my mom and walk out the front door. It's then I notice I parked my fucking truck right next to her. Son of a bitch.
She rushes to catch up with me, the heels of her shoes clicking along the paved parking lot. "I have something I want to give you. If you come back to the house–"
I spin and level her with a stare. She immediately stops. "If you think I'm ever stepping foot back in that house, you have another thing coming." My voice is raised, but we're outside now. I no longer care if someone hears us. "That place is nothing more than a building that houses memories, which I should never have had. It was dark and brutal. Things I never will forget. I should have been happy. I deserved a normal life and was robbed of it."
"I'm sorry.” A stray tear runs down her cheek. "Please. Come back and talk to me.”
"I never want to speak to you again."
I don't wait for her reaction. I get in my truck and leave without another glance in her direction. She could be standing in the parking lot crying, for all I care.
I skip the store. I'll order the fucking hard drive. I'm in no shape to work now. Just seeing my mother sends a barrage of memories rushing to the forefront of my mind. I grip the steering wheel hard, as I drive well over the legal limit to get back to Parker's. Warm air whips through the cab of my truck due to the windows being down.
How many times did I try to tell her Everett was touching me? How many times did I cry and beg for her to listen to me? Now she wants to make things right? That's impossible! She allowed this to happen to me. She fucking knew and did nothing to stop it. Why would a child make that up? Why would I lie about that?
I was always a good kid. I got good grades, listened to my mom. With Everett came a nightmare I didn't ask for. My grades suffered, my fucking life suffered. I tried so hard to go to another place in my mind when he was in my room. I couldn't escape it, though.
Anger courses through me as I pull into the driveway and shut off the truck. I slam my hand down on the steering wheel; lean my head back on the seat and shut my eyes. I try to stay in the present, but no matter what I do, the memories keep coming back as if they just happened: his hands on me; his breath against my neck. Every moment was nothing shy of torture. No child should have to endure that. Yet I did, while my mom was in the same house. While she was asleep in her bed only a few doors down. She never heard me scream out in pain. She never heard my cries for help. She’s a sound sleeper and only a few would get out before Everett's hand slapped over my mouth, as he punished me for crying. He always hit me where my clothes covered me. Never my arms or legs. My back, my stomach, and...my chest heaves as I try to suck in air and not completely have a breakdown.
I've come so far. I don't want to let this overtake me. But how can I not? How do I ignore everything that happened to me? I just want to move on and escape the memories. God, why won't they leave?
"Cy? Are you okay?" Parker asks. I forgot he was home. Of course, he heard my truck pull into the driveway. I didn’t hear him approach.
I shake my head, not wanting to lift it and open my eyes. He’d be able to see right through me. No, he wouldn't judge, but that doesn't mean he needs to witness me coming apart.
"Let's go inside," he says gently.
I pull the keys from the ignition and take a few deep breaths before opening the door. I can't stay out here. He'll end up standing beside my truck until I go inside.
I hang my head, trying to conceal my face as much as possible. When we step into the living room, I say, "Don't tell Evie. She'll rush home, and I want her to enjoy herself without worrying about me."
"Okay."
Parker walks with me to my bedroom. I face the door and mumble, "I want to be alone."
He stands behind me, not moving. The concern is evident in his voice. "I don't want to–"
"I'm not going to harm myself. I don't want to die. I have Evie now, and the thought of being without her hurts more than the memories of my past. I just want to be by myself."
"I'll be here if you need me."
"Thanks, man," I say, solemnly.
Inside, I shut the door and block out the light coming in from the windows. I drop to the bed and curl my body into a ball. I try to focus on Evie: her face, the warmth of her touch, the softness of her skin. My body begins to relax the slightest bit.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Do I answer it or leave it there? It could be Mom or it could be Evie. I can't ignore my girl. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the phone. There's a text from Evie.
Evie: This place is crazy. There are so many readers here. I didn't know if I'd have fun, but I love it. Brenda has a long line of people waiting to meet her. They love her.
I can feel her excitement through the phone.
Me: I'm glad you're having fun.
It’s the best I can muster. A few minutes pass before I hear from her again.
Evie: How are you? Everything okay?
There's no way I'm telling her I ran into my mom today, or that I’m currently holed up in my room, trying to keep the misery at bay.
Me: Fine. Enjoy yourself.
A sharp pain pierces my chest. I wish she were here with me. It's selfish, I know. I need her, but she needs to enjoy herself and do things that don’t all revolve around me. I take all her free time. When she's with me, I'm happy. I still have nightmares, and she's usually in more than half of them, but I'd take that any day to wake up and have her by my side. No matter how much pain I'm in, she manages to chase it away.
Evie: Miss you.
Me: Ditto.
I toss the phone onto the nightstand and throw my arm over my eyes. I’ve never been big on texting. Hopefully, she doesn’t detect anything is wrong due to my short messages.
I drift in and out of sleep for a while. In every dream, I see Everett's eyes glaring at me. His hands reach for me, but I'm able to keep him away, although I'm not sure how.
Parker knocks on the door. He doesn't wait for me to respond before he opens it. Light from the hallway spills in. "Get up." I shake my head. "Get the fuck up, Revere. I've left you alone all day, but we need to eat and get the fuck out of this house. I don't know what happened to you earlier, and you don't have to tell me. Sitting here isn't going to help, though. We're going out like we used to. You have one more night before Eve is back. Get up."
"I don't want to."
"I don't care. Up. Now." Fucker. I throw a pillow at him, which he easily catches.
"You're a dick, you know that?"
"Yup, and right now, so are you. Now get the fuck up."
I stand and rake my hand through my hair. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
Son of a bitch. I hate it when he does this. He has a number of times since we graduated. Won't tell me where we're going, but I must admit I always ended up having a good time. Maybe that's what I need to get my mind off everything, including missing Evie.
I slip on my shoes and grab my wallet. My khaki shorts and white polo shirt are wrinkled, but I don't give a shit. I'm not going anywhere to impress anyone. The only woman I care about is far away. I shove my phone back in my pocket and stop in front of where Parker is leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.
"You gonna move?" I ask.
"You gonna drop the attitude?"
"Probably not."
He laughs and drapes his arm over my shoulders to shove me out into the hallway. "We need to take your truck, but I'm driving."
"Like fuck I'm letting you drive."
"Surprise, remember? I can't tell you where we're going."
I grumble as we walk into the kitchen. He grabs my keys off the counter before I can. We both climb into my truck, Parker settling into the driver's seat with a wide smile.
"Don't get used to sitting there."
He continues to smile. Prick. We put our seatbelts on and then we're off to God knows where.
Parker winds my truck up the mountain; the forest becomes denser with every passing mile. Then he slows and takes a turnoff I never would have noticed. It's a dirt road that wasn't marked. We go down the rough road, the truck bouncing us along with it.
"You better not be scratching my truck up with these branches," I warn him. They are all coming dangerously close to my truck.
"Nothing's going to happen to your precious truck. We're almost there.”
He drives a little farther, then breaks through the trees to a large clearing. Other pickups and SUVs are parked off to the side, and in the distance is a roaring bonfire; its flames licking high, sending embers into the air.
Parker stops next to a jacked-up F-150 and rubs his hands together. "You ready to have some fun?"
"You know I can't drink with the meds I'm on."
"Who said you had to drink? They'll be plenty of people here who are drunk enough for the both of us. They'll be making asses of themselves all night. It's the best kind of entertainment."
I can't help but laugh at his smile. Maybe it’s good he got me out of the house.