CHAPTER 8
Ethan stood on Jess’s porch and took a deep breath as he lifted his hand. He hesitated before knocking on the door. It was late. But he was on call the next few days and he wasn’t sure when he’d get another chance to talk to her.
He’d thought about texting her, but since she still hadn’t responded to the last message he’d sent her checking on her doctor’s appointment, he figured showing up was a better way to go.
And after seeing her out on the boat with those guys today, he knew this couldn’t wait. He still wasn’t sure what leverage he could use to get her to agree to his proposal, but he’d decided he would let her set the terms. Something told him that Jess wouldn’t be able to pass up that kind of power.
The thudding of his heart was pounding in his head. He was probably more nervous today, standing on Jess’s front porch than he was yesterday in Chicago when he and his team broke down the door of a violent offender known to be heavily armed.
This girl had always done things to him. Even before the day that he’d found her unconscious in the hallway, she’d engendered protective instincts in him.
He flashed back to the first time he’d seen her.
It was a day that was seared into his memory because it was the day after his father’s funeral and the day he’d moved to Whisper Lake to live with Nana. He’d been walking by the shore and saw a girl, crying, sitting on the pier with a big silver tube beside her. Now he knew that it was her oxygen tank, but at the time he didn’t have any idea what it was.
He was immediately concerned, and he walked out to see if she was okay. He remembered the sound of the water splashing against the pilings and the birds chirping in the air. He could still feel the heat of the sun on his face and smell the fresh air that he hadn’t been used to growing up in the city.
With every step he took toward her he was struck by just how small she was. She was tiny. Frail. And the sight of her thin legs dangling precariously off the pier had every fiber in his being screaming for him to pick her up and carry her to the shore.
When he was a few feet away, she looked up.
“Are you okay?”
It took him by surprise because she’d been the one who was crying.
“Yeah, are you?” he’d asked a little bit more defensively than he probably should have. But he was a preteen boy that had just lost his dad and felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“No.” Her voice was steady and strong as she sat up straighter and although she was small and young, there was a maturity well beyond her years in her as she matter-of-factly stated, “I’m going to die.”
“What?”
“I heard my mom talking to my dad. They were downstairs and didn’t know I could hear. I’m going to die.”
Her answer had shocked him so much. He just stood and stared at her for a moment before he sat down beside her and let his own confession slip out. “My dad died. His funeral was yesterday.”
“And you’re sad,” she said.
“Yeah.” He looked over at her and asked, “Are you scared?”
“No.” She shook her head and looked back out over the water. “Not really for me.”
After a few moments, he heard her sniff, and he glanced over and saw that tears had filled her eyes again. “But…my parents…I don’t know what they’re going to…”
“It’s okay.” Ethan had been so wrapped up in his own tragedy that seeing this girl devastated, not for herself, but for her parents was eye-opening. And then he said what any boy would say to a girl with tears falling down her eyes. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not.” She barked back at him as she sniffed and wiped her cheeks.
They sat beside one another, neither saying a word, for what, at the time, felt like a lifetime, before she turned to him and said, “I’m okay with dying but there is one thing I’m scared about.”
“What?”
“Not knowing what this feels like.”
“What what feels—”
She cut him off by pressing her lips to his. The feel of her lips against his was so shocking he almost didn’t notice the feeling of the oxygen tube beneath his nose. It wasn’t a long a kiss, and he hadn’t even really participated. He’d been so shocked he didn’t do anything.
When she pulled away, they stared at each other for several beats before a look of unimpressed indifference crossed her face. “That’s it? That wasn’t so great.”
He remembered at the time the challenge that her response had ignited in him. He wanted so badly to lean over and kiss her again to redeem himself. But he never got the chance. Just as he leaned forward, he heard screaming and looked up and saw a frantic man and woman running across the shore toward the dock.
“Jess!” a woman yelled. “Jess!”
“Are you okay?!” the man bellowed.
“That’s my parents,” Jess said as she slowly, carefully stood. “I snuck out. Thanks for the kiss. At least now I know.”
He remembered watching as she made her way down the wooden planked wharf. Her parents met her halfway, throwing their arms around her as they cried.
It was almost two years before he saw her again around town, and another three before he talked to her again when he found her passed out in the hallway. To this day, they’d never spoken about that day on the pier. To this day, he didn’t even know if she remembered it, or that it was him on the dock.
All these years that he’d ignored his feelings for Jess made him wonder now if it might have something to do with that day. That look of disappointment on her face. Was his hesitancy to tell her how he felt because he was scared to see that look on her face again?
Maybe. But it didn’t matter anymore. She might not feel what he did, but it was time he found out once and for all.
Lifting his hand, he rapped his knuckles on her door.
Jess peeked out the window and glared at him for several seconds before opening the door. “What are you doing here?”
Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
Jess’s dark hair was down, flowing like a waterfall around her shoulders. Her sea glass gaze was usually surrounded by a thick black line but was now bare and even more breathtaking than usual. She was wearing an over-sized T-shirt and sweats and somehow managed to look sexier than she had when she’d been in a bikini on the lake earlier.
“Hello.” She waved her hand in front of his face. “Earth to Ethan.”
He blinked at the motion and managed to ask, “Can I come in?”
Indecision flickered in her eyes. She inhaled slowly, and on the exhale stepped back and opened the door. “This better be good. I was just at my favorite part.”
As he stepped into her house, he saw that it was dark except for the light coming from the television flickering against the far wall. As he took a seat on the couch, Ethan noticed Patrick Swayze in a leather jacket, frozen on the screen. “What are you watching?”
Her forehead creased. “Seriously?”
He looked back at the screen. “Is it Road House?”
“It’s Dirty Dancing.” The way she said it made it sound like he’d cursed the holy church.
“Oh. I’ve never seen it.”
Her mouth fell open as she swatted his arm. “You’ve never seen Dirty Dancing?!”
“No.”
The horror on her face was the same as if he’d said he kicked puppies. He knew that this was already starting off on a bad foot. Trying to soften the blow that he’d never seen Dirty Dancing he said, “I did see Ghost.”
“So?” She shrugged as if one thing had nothing to do with the other.
This train was quickly going off the rails, and he needed to right it. “I’m sorry to bug you so late, but I needed to talk to you.”
She stared at him, and he could feel that she was waiting for him to say something, anything that she could pick apart and dismantle. But, unless he was imagining things, the walls that were typically erected around her weren’t quite as high today as they normally were. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the night at Lanterns or that she was tired from a day out in the sun, but she seemed softer towards him.
“I’m not sure if you know this, but my grandma and her friends have decided that it’s time for me to settle down.”
The knowing smirk that pulled at her perfect lips made Ethan want to kiss her until she forgot why she always gave him such a hard time.
“I’m aware.”
“They’re not going to stop until I start dating someone.”
“And this is my problem, how?”
If he weren’t mistaken, he heard a small catch in her breath. He saw her eyes widen and her cheeks flush.
This was a now or never moment. “I want you to be my girlfriend.”
She leaned back against her couch cushions and crossed her arms. He tried not to notice the hardened nubs of her nipples pressed against the thin cotton material of her shirt and had to swallow a groan. She wasn’t wearing a bra.
That shouldn’t be shocking.
It was after eleven. She was alone in her home. Still, it drove him toward the cliff of insanity, and he knew that he needed to pump the brakes or he was going to go right over.
That was the perfect analogy of what Jess did to him, she drove him to the cliffs of insanity, and he was ready to jump off.
* * *
Jess couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. Just this afternoon she’d finally decided that she wanted to find out if there was anything between them and he shows up at her door asking her to be his girlfriend?
She’d read The Secret back when she’d been waiting for a transplant and had desperately tried to speak into existence what it was she wanted. Getting a new heart had taken three years to manifest. She glanced at the clock. Getting Ethan to ask her out had taken less than six hours.
Since she wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t hallucinating from all the sun exposure today, she asked, “You want me to be your girlfriend?”
“Yes. At least, I want everyone to think you’re my girlfriend. It’s the only way to save my summer from being one setup after another.”
“Why me?” She heard the hitch in her voice as she asked the question, but hoped he hadn’t picked up on it. The last thing she wanted was for him to know what hearing him say that he wanted her to be his girlfriend had done to her.
“You don’t like me.”
Okay, well that was not what she’d expected to hear. She picked up Elvis from the floor and started to pet him as she responded, “That’s not exactly what most people look for in a girlfriend.”
“Who else am I going to ask? Kennedy? Laura?”
She considered this for a moment. No, please don’t, she thought.
“I don’t want to lead anyone on. I also don’t want to spend the entire summer not knowing who is going to randomly show up at my door with cookies, or whose car is going to be broken down on the side of the road, and I don’t want to be tagged in hundreds of Facebook photos so that young Patty Duke can see them.”
“Who?”
“Nana met a doctor on her cruise who she thinks is perfect for me,” Ethan explained.
“Dr. Susie.”
“Yep. She thinks you and Dr. Susie would make beautiful babies.”
“See?” Ethan ran his hands through his hair, and Jess watched as the muscles of his forearms flexed. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
Damn. Her mouth watered as if she’d just bitten into a sour treat.
“I don’t even want kids,” Ethan finished his thought.
“You don’t?” That news took Jess by surprise. She wasn’t sure why she’d always assumed that he would want kids. She guessed she just assumed everyone did. Everyone except her. Hearing him say that made Jess realize that could’ve been another reason she’d kept him at arm’s length. Self-preservation. What if she’d gotten close to him only for things not to work out because they wanted different things out of life?
“No.” Ethan shook his head, his voice deadly serious. “I don’t.”
She bit the inside of her lip. He was asking her to be his fake girlfriend. Could she handle that?
“Just a month I wouldn’t want to cramp your style.”
The way he said that had Jess snapping back, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I saw you out on the boat with those guys today.”
“Are you jealous?” she repeated the same accusation he’d made to her at Lanterns.
The look he gave her told her that he was not in the least bit threatened by Kingston or Miko. And why would he be? He was just as ripped and chiseled as those men.
“Well, no need to worry, those two guys are happily married.”
He gave her another look, one that said she was naive if she thought a ring made a difference.
“To each other,” she explained.
And then she saw it. A brief flash of relief. He had been jealous. Maybe not of their physiques, but of the attention they showed her. That thought had her heart pitter-pattering like a gang of kids running down the stairs on Christmas morning.
He quickly covered his initial reaction. “Look, it’s just four weeks.”
“Four weeks?”
“Long enough that people take it seriously, not long enough to shock people when it doesn’t work.”
Jess had to admit, she didn’t hate the idea. But she wasn’t about to tip her hand. She might not have a poker face for shit, but she could negotiate with the best of them. “What exactly am I going to get out of this?”
“What do you want?”
His voice rippled over her like a breeze, if that breeze was made up of hot-man breath. The deep rumble had her core clenching with need as goose bumps broke out on every inch of her bare skin. She lifted her hand and ran it down the side of her neck, suddenly feeling much more exposed than she actually was.
Before she had a chance to pull her thoughts together, the movie started playing again. Her DVR automatically did that after it had been paused for a certain amount of time.
Patrick Swayze said his famous line and took Jennifer Grey onto the stage to do their final dance.
Ethan tilted his head. “This is your favorite part?”
He didn’t sound judgmental or condescending, but it was Ethan so, of course, Jess got defensive. “Yes. It is.”
As they sat on the couch and watched the dance, a brilliant idea struck her, but being the shrewd negotiator that she was, she kept it to herself until she got more information.
“So let’s say I agree to this, what happens when we break up?”
He looked over at her, and the light of the television danced off his golden gaze. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, how are we going to do it? You know that everyone and their brother are going to want the details. How do we break up? Who is the breaker and who is the breakee?”
Ethan’s stare was blank as he shook his head. “I haven’t thought about it. I guess you can break up with me.”
“No way. I’m not going to be the bitch that broke up with Whisper Lake’s golden boy.”
“Fine. I’ll break up with you.”
“Right? Like anyone is going to believe that.”
“Why not?” He chuckled. “You have such a winning personality.”
“My personality is not what I was commenting on.” Her bravado was false, but she held onto it for dear life. It was all she had.
“Okay, why?”
“Because of my job. My schedule.”
“No. I’m not that needy.”
“Okay, then because it’s dangerous.”
Forget his job, the real danger was being Ethan’s girlfriend, even if it was fake and temporary. Just the thought had her heart pounding so fast that she wasn’t sure if her new ticker could take it. But, she did want to live life to the fullest.
“That might work.”
“So, do we have a deal?” He held out his hand.
“Don’t you want to know what my terms are?” she hesitated.
“I’ll give you anything you want.”
The words he spoke hit Jess like an arrow shot directly from Cupid himself straight through her heart. The one that wasn’t hers. And it wasn’t just her heart that was affected. Her entire body swelled with pent-up arousal. She knew if she didn’t get him out of here, she’d throw herself at him and start this fake relationship off on a very real one-night stand.
Jess stood, trying her best to regain some control. He looked up at her, his hand still outstretched. She placed her hand in his and tugged him, trying not to think about how good it felt for his large fingers and warm palm to be wrapped around her hand.
“Deal. We can talk about specifics later. I want to watch my movie and go to bed.”
The corner of his lip twitched. “You’re already kicking me out?”
“Get used to it.”
He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles, his eyes locked with hers. “I look forward to it.”
She watched as he retreated out of the room and tried to catch her breath as he paused at the door. “Lock this behind me.”
When she didn’t answer he said, “Jess, I’m serious.”
Her first instinct was to be defensive at his request. But then she thought about what her reaction would be if it were Kingston saying it.
With a resigned sigh, she stood and crossed the front room so that she could do exactly what he’d asked. When she got there he was still standing in the doorway. “Just because you’re my fake boyfriend doesn’t mean you can start bossing me around.”
“What about if I was your real boyfriend?”
Damn. Ethan was really racking up the swoon-worthy quotes this visit.
She tried to hide the way his words had her entire body tingling with anticipation.
In an attempt to throw him even slightly off balance, she grinned as she said, “Too bad we’ll never find out. I only date guys that bite. I like it rough.”
Her plan worked and she watched as his jaw tensed and his nostrils flared with intensity. She’d definitely struck a nerve and before he could regain the upper hand she shut the door. In his face. She clicked the deadbolt and waited.
After several seconds she heard his footsteps as he left and she turned and leaned her back against the solid wood door for support. She placed her hand over her chest to feel her heart beating rapidly. To feel how alive Ethan had just made her.
She wasn’t sure how this “fake” relationship was going to play out, but she planned on enjoying every second of it.