Chapter Twenty
“Well? What are they doing now?” Two demanded from the chip implanted under Y’s ear. He had been silent for a long time—long enough that it made Y jump to suddenly hear his Master’s voice in his head again.
“They are back aboard their own ship,” Y reported. “But they haven’t set a course as far as I can tell. They appear to be simply orbiting the moon which hosts the Flame and Frost complex.”
Two swore nastily. “I cannot manipulate them or enter their thoughts in the ship as I could while they were still in the compound. The metal of their hull impedes my new mental skills.”
Y wondered uneasily what other “skills” his Master had picked up from their time on the Scourge home world. Two was growing himself a new body in the vats the ancient alien race had used to replenish their stock of warriors, but Y had not seen it yet.
The body, along with a new chip with Master Two’s personality implanted in it, had been sequestered for days as it grew in the deep troughs filled with growth hormones and chemicals. During that time, Two had been mostly silent, concentrating on implanting himself thoroughly into his new form.
Y had stayed away from the new body and worked on the various projects he had been assigned. The Master had commanded him to especially concentrate on watching the Kindred tracker and his mate—the same girl they had taken by mistake and put back on Earth some months before.
As always, his Master’s motivations were a mystery to Y. Two had learned, through the spies he had planted everywhere, even on the Kindred Mother Ship, that the Wulven Kindred and his mate would be assigned to track him once they healed their wounded relationship. For some reason, this had enraged Two and he had vowed to hurt them in any way he could. Y had asked several times why they didn’t just blast the Wulven’s ship out of the sky but Two appeared to think that was too easy.
“I want them to have a slow death,” he’d told Y. “And I want them to hate each other before they die—hate each other and themselves.”
Y couldn’t fathom such reasoning but then, almost none of what the Master said and did made sense to him. More and more, he dreamed of a life without the constant presence in his head. Without the chip implanted beneath his ear…
“Well?”
The booming voice behind him made Y whirl around. His eyes grew large as he looked up…and up and up. Standing in the doorway of the ancient Scourge command complex was a behemoth of a warrior—nine feet tall and massively muscular.
“M-master?” he somehow managed to get out.
“What do you think?” The massive warrior did a surprisingly graceful turn, letting Y admire him from all sides. “I thought of simply regrowing my old body but though I miss my lovely metal teeth, this one has such a wonderful intimidation factor. Don’t you think?” he asked Y.
Y had to agree that his master was right. The muscular hulk of a male before him was nothing if not intimidating. “You are… certainly a sight to behold, Master,” he admitted.
“As I intended to be.” The Master preened, his new eyes glowing a contented red in their deep black sockets. His skin was the pearlescent gray of the Scourge and he was clothed in black battle armor and thick boots he must have found somewhere in the storage lockers.
“You must be quite relieved to have your own body again,” Y said cautiously. “In fact, now that your personality and consciousness resides inside this new and much worthier vessel, you will no doubt want me to remove the chip you had implanted in me.” He touched the bulge under his ear and looked up at his Master hopefully.
Master Two laughed—a strange, booming sound that seemed to echo inside Y’s head since it was coming both from the behemoth before him and the chip beneath his ear.
“Oh, I think not, Y. I rather like being able to keep such a close eye on you. I will remain watchful and you will retain my personality inside yourself.”
Y felt his heart sink. He hadn’t realized how desperately he wanted to be alone in his own skull until that moment.
“But…” he began.
“What is it, Y?” The huge creature before him peered down to gaze significantly into his face. “Please don’t tell me you’re tiring of my company. That would hurt my feelings. And you wouldn’t want that, would you?”
“Of course not, Master,” Y said dully. “It is a pleasure and a privilege to host you.”
“Of course it is.” The huge face broke into a broad grin, showing sharp, yellow teeth. “I am delightful company. Now then…” Master Two clapped his massive palms together. “Have you readied the ship as I commanded?”
“Of course, Master,” Y answered stolidly. “I have one of the best flagships fitted with all the equipment you ordered.”
“Excellent. I’m glad that you’ve been busy while I grew into my new form.” The Master smiled again. “Now then, let’s be off, shall we? I want to be certain we’re in position when the Wulven and his female begin to move. We have to take them at just the right time and not before.”
“Take them and do what with them?” Y dared to ask.
“Why, torture them of course,” Two shot back. “Or let them torture each other, which is so much more entertaining. Don’t you think, Y?”
“Of course, Master,” Y answered dutifully. He must do as the Master willed, always. But inside he wondered if he would ever be free…
* * * * *
Kate woke to the feeling of something cool and wet being applied to the torn flesh of her back. Though whoever was doing it was clearly trying to be careful, it still stung like fire to have the ragged wounds touched.
“Ah!” she gasped weakly, trying to twist away from the cold wetness. The sudden movement brought tears to her eyes and she gave a low moan of pain.
“Hold still, Lalli,” a deep, familiar voice commanded. “I’m almost done washing your back. Then I can heal you.”
“You can what?” Kate twisted her head around to look at Rone, even though it hurt to do so. She was lying on her side on their bed in the ship and he was kneeling beside her, pressing a damp rag to her back. Well at least they were out of the horrible Flame and Frost resort but she still felt uneasy and her back ached and throbbed. “What are you going to do to me?” she asked again.
“Heal you,” he said patiently. “But I need to finish cleaning the wounds first. I swear I’m almost done.”
“How…how exactly are you going to heal me?” Kate demanded.
“With my tongue, of course,” he said as though it was the most reasonable idea in the world.
Kate thought she remembered saying something like this before—that he could heal her by licking her—but she didn’t know how she felt about it.
“I don’t know,” she said hesitantly. “Wouldn’t it be better to use some antibiotic ointment and some bandages? Maybe some strips of gauze?”
Rone went perfectly still for a moment and a look of sorrow passed over his strong features.
“Are you really that unwilling to let me taste you? Even in order to heal your wounds?”
“It’s not that…” Kate shifted uncomfortably and then winced at the bolt of pain the movement shot through her torn back.
“What is it, then?” Rone demanded. “What reason can you give for submitting yourself to such a brutal and vicious beating rather than letting me pleasure you with my tongue?”
“It’s a long story,” Kate snapped. “And anyway, I thought we were talking about you healing my back.”
“Which I would not need to do if you had been able to trust me enough to let me taste you when the Madam of Shadows demanded it,” he pointed out.
“That’s it. I’m leaving.” Kate tried to get off the bed but she was weak from blood loss and the sudden movements made her back feel like someone had poured liquid fire over her wounds. “Ah!” she gasped and sank back to her hands and knees, trembling with pain.
“Come here.” Rone pulled her to him with rough tenderness, being careful not to touch her anywhere she’d been caned. “Relax,” he ordered her when Kate struggled weakly in his grip. “I’m going to heal you now and I don’t want to hear any more about it.”
“But it’s unsanitary,” Kate protested. “I mean bacteria and germs and—”
“My body produces antibacterial chemicals and healing agents specifically tailored to you because you’re my mate,” he explained, speaking into her ear since he was holding her from behind. “I can heal you more quickly and cleanly than any outside source or medicine.”
“But…but it’s gross. For you, I mean,” she said desperately. “I don’t want you to have to lick all over my bloody back—that’s disgusting.”
“Kate…” He sighed deeply. “How many times do I have to tell you that every part of you is beautiful to me?”
“But my scars…” she whispered. That was the crux of the matter—the real reason she didn’t want him licking her back. They were so ugly. So twisted and deformed. How could Rone want to touch her there? Let alone put his mouth… she shivered, unable to finish the thought.
“Your scars are part of you, Lalli,” he murmured in her ear. “Which makes them beautiful to me too.”
“How can you say that?” Kate whispered.
“I say it because it’s true,” he said simply. Then Kate felt something warm and wet and incredibly soothing dragging lightly over one wounded shoulder blade.
“Ahh…” she gasped, jumping a little.
He stopped at once. “Did I hurt you?”
“No…” Kate took a moment to take stock of herself. “Actually, it feels…it feels better, I think.”
“It should. The part I licked is already beginning to heal.”
“It is?” Kate tried to turn her head but of course, she couldn’t see her own shoulder blade and the motion just made her groan with pain.
“Hold still.” Rone’s deep voice was stern. “Let me heal you before you go twisting all around.”
There didn’t seem to be much choice. Kate held rigidly still as he continued licking her, tracing each long, vicious wound on her back with his tongue.
The big Kindred’s gentle caress seemed to send a warm tingling healing through her entire body. Soon, Kate found that the stinging, burning pain was turning to pleasure—a pleasure that wasn’t only confined to her back. For some reason her nipples felt tight and achy and the tender V between her thighs was throbbing as Rone continued to bathe her back with long, tender licks of his tongue. The pleasurable sensations grew until she didn’t think she could stand any more.
“Um…” She shifted restlessly. “Do you…don’t you want a break to get a drink of water or something? To wash the taste out of your mouth?”
“Why would I ever want to wash away your taste?” he growled softly. “I crave it, Kate. Crave it like I crave air to breathe.”
Somehow she knew they were no longer talking about the taste he got while healing her back.
“Why?” she whispered. “And how can I possibly believe that after what happened back when…” She trailed off but Rone had picked up on her unspoken thought.
“Is that what this is about?” he growled softly. “Something some other male said or did in the past?”
Kate squirmed. “Yes,” she said shortly.
“What happened?” Rone was still behind her so Kate couldn’t see him without turning her head but she could almost feel his piercing blue eyes boring into her. “You never would tell me before but now I need to know,” he said. “Need to understand how you could pick a vicious beating over any pleasure I might be able to give you with my mouth.”
Kate really, really didn’t want to talk about it—or even think about it for that matter. It was an old, bad memory she’d spent years trying to forget. But apparently, her former self had somehow managed to do just that—or else to get past it enough to enjoy letting Rone go down on her. How that had happened, Kate had no idea. But she didn’t want to get into this now with the big Kindred.
Still, there was a waiting silence in the air between them—a feeling that Rone wasn’t going to back down from this. He wanted answers and Kate guessed she couldn’t blame him. She had allowed the Madam of Shadows to cane her back bloody rather than allowing the big Kindred to taste her—anyone would want to know why she would pick the pain over the pleasure.
“Kate?” he growled softly, and she knew she was right. He wasn’t going to quit until she spilled the beans.
“Fine,” she said, having a sudden inspiration. “I’ll tell you what—I’ll explain what happened to make me not want to let you, uh, taste me if you’ll tell me about the hunger.”
He sighed harshly and she had a feeling she’d hit a nerve. Well maybe that was a good thing. Maybe he would be so unwilling to talk about his strange secret that he would let Kate keep hers. But after a moment he spoke, dashing her hopes of keeping her past hidden.
“Fine—I’ll tell you,” he growled. “But you go first—I need to finish healing your back.”
“All right.” He had her and Kate knew it—she had to tell, had to dredge up the awful old memory like a dead body that had been buried and rotting for years. Taking a deep breath, she tried to speak in a cold, emotionless voice, willing herself not to feel as she told Rone her past.
“I was a freshman in college before I ever really dated,” she began, looking down at the quilt as Rone continued to heal her back. “Part of that was because of the Knowing—some of the kids could sense it, I think. They knew somehow that I was different, even though they couldn’t put their finger on how or why.”
“It’s the same with me,” Rone murmured. “Some people can sense the Beast in me. We used to call them ‘Sensitives’. Most of them picked up my differences before they were bothered by you, though.”
“Really?” Kate glanced back at him.
He nodded. “Uh-huh. My Beast really bothers the ones that can sense it.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “You always say I scare the ‘shinola’ out of them.”
“That sounds like me.” She gave him a little smile in return. “Anyway, enough people were bothered in my home town that I got the reputation as being the ‘weird’ kid.’ And it didn’t help that I had to wear this huge, hard back brace for years after my surgeries either. Looked like a freaking turtle shell but it went all the way around me.” She sighed. “So anyway, between that and the Knowing, none of the guys were exactly knocking down the door to get to me.”
Rone was silent but it was a listening silence. He’d mostly finished with her back now, but Kate could still feel him behind her, the warmth of his big body radiating against her bare skin.
“When I got to college, I thought everything was going to be different,” she went on. “I was out of the brace and even though I still had the Knowing, I was able to, I don’t know, shield myself a little better. Or maybe it was just that everyone was new and different and I didn’t stick out so much. Anyway…” she took a deep breath. “There was this guy in my French Literature class named Greg Compton.”
The name tasted like dust in her mouth—like fear and sour wine and a past best left forgotten. But Kate knew that now she had started, she had to continue—there was no other way.
“Greg Compton,” she made herself say again. “He was at least five years older than me and I thought he was amazing. He was tall—well, everyone is tall compared to me, but you know what I mean—and he had these big, soulful brown eyes. I think I was in love with him for a whole semester before he ever noticed me. But then…then we were assigned to analyze some poetry together.”
“And what happened once he took notice of you?” Rone asked. He spoke quietly but there was a soft growl in his voice that sent a little shiver down Kate’s spine.
“He…he invited me back to his dorm room to do the assignment together,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “And then he asked me if I wanted some wine. You know—well, you probably know—I’ve never been much of a drinker. I just don’t have much tolerance. Beer I would have said no to, but here was this sophisticated older man offering me wine and I didn’t want to seem like some stupid little freshman who didn’t know which end was up so I said yes, of course, I’d like some wine.”
She paused for a moment, having a hard time going on.
“And?” Rone asked softly after a long pause.
“And…and I think he put something in it.” Kate sighed. “In fact, I’m sure he did. Not enough to knock me completely out, but enough to make me feel all warm and dizzy. The next thing I knew he was…” She swallowed, hearing a dry click in the back of her throat. “He was pushing up my dress.”
“What?” There was definitely more of a growl in Rone’s voice now. “He dared to take advantage of you?”
“Oh, he dared all right,” Kate said grimly. “I should have known better than to drink that wine or to go with him in the first place, you know? The Knowing tried to warn me but I…I wanted so badly to be noticed, to feel pretty and desired that I ignored it—pushed it to the back of my mind. It was my own fault, really…”
“It was not your fault. Then what happened?” Rone asked in a low, intense voice. “How did you get away from him?”
“I didn’t—not completely, anyway.” Kate winced at the memory. It was old but it still had sharp edges that cut her when she took it out to examine it—like an ancient shard of broken glass half buried in the sand of her past. “I…I started to panic but it was like everything was in slow motion. I tried to push him off me, but he said…said I should just…just let it happen. He said, ‘You’re going to love this, Katie. You’ll see.’”
Kate swallowed hard and for a moment, she was back there, back in the dorm room that smelled of stale beer and dirty laundry on Greg’s crumpled, half-made bed. She could still feel his ice-cold hands groping between her thighs as he fumbled with her panties, yanking them roughly down in his eagerness to get to her.
“He…he put his fingers in me first but I was scared and horrified so of course I wasn’t in any way ready for any kind of…of anything. So he said something about getting me ‘all hot and bothered’ and then…then he put his face between my legs,” she said, her voice coming out high and tight.
“The bastard! You were too drugged to get away?” Rone sounded infuriated.
Kate nodded. “I tried to sit up but he pushed me back down. I started to shout for help and then he said something like—‘Just shut up and enjoy it.’ And he put…put a pillow over my face.” She put a hand to her throat, her voice closing off to a whisper. “It was so awful—I felt like I was smothering. I couldn’t breathe.”
The memory washed over her, the awful sensation of helplessness, of being unable to move, her ankles tangled in her panties as she kicked weakly but to no avail, the drug he’d given her holding her down as much as his hand on the pillow. It sent a shudder through her and she gulped in a breath, trying to get air in to her lungs, exactly as she had that night in the dorm room…
A low growl from Rone brought her back to the present and somehow she was able to go on.
“He was…so much bigger than me. And he was…I think he was coming at me sideways. Like, bending over me from above so he could hold me down with the pillow using one hand and force…force my legs open with the other.” Kate drew in another trembling breath and the words came out in a rush.
“Then he started trying to…to get his tongue in me, I guess. It was cold too, just like his fingers. I remember that vividly, I don’t know why—maybe it was cold from the chilled wine. Anyway, it felt like he’d been sucking on ice cubes or something. It was weird and really awful—like a cold fish trying to worm its way inside me.”
She pressed her thighs tightly together, the memory so deep and visceral it nearly made her sick.
“And the whole time I couldn’t get a deep enough breath because of the pillow and I was wondering…wondering if I was going to die because I couldn’t breathe. I was seeing spots in front of my eyes and I remember telling myself, don’t pass out. You can’t pass out or you’ll never wake up!”
She clenched her fists in the quilt, trying not to let the memory sweep her completely away, trying to anchor herself in reality. But it was hard…so hard not to let it take over her completely, not to get washed away in the tide of nightmares letting herself remember brought with it.
“Kate…if you can’t go on…” Rone murmured behind her.
“No,” Kate surprised herself by saying. “No, I started this. I…have to finish. Unless…unless you’d rather not hear it?”
“I’ll hear anything you have to tell,” he reassured her. “Although the hearing makes me want to kill the one who hurt you.”
Kate gave a shaky laugh that was more than half sob. “I wanted to kill him too. But mostly I just wanted to be able to breathe. I think he put the pillow on my face mostly to muffle my screams but he was pressing down really hard. I finally managed to turn my head but I could still only get little sips of air. I was panicking but the drug still made it feel like everything was in slow motion—like drowning in a dream.
“It seemed to go on forever—that cold tongue poking and probing inside me and the feeling that I was going to smother, that I was going to suffocate at any minute…” She shook her head. “It was awful. But finally…finally he seemed like he’d had enough of…of that anyway.”
“He let you up?” Rone’s voice was still angry and tense but Kate knew the anger wasn’t directed at her.
“He did.” She nodded. “I think he thought he’d been doing me a favor and that I’d be all warmed up and…and ready for anything else he wanted to do. He said, ‘Now wasn’t that good, Katie? Didn’t I tell you I’d make you feel good?’” She fisted her hands tighter in the quilt, the memory of his condescending words bringing tears of fury to her eyes. “Fucking pig,” she spat. The rage was still there, just under the surface. It made her wonder how she’d ever managed to push this memory under the rug in the first place.
“Did you get away from him then?” Rone asked in a low voice.
“I tried. He started to climb on top of me and this time…” Kate swallowed hard. “He had his dick out. And I knew what was coming next. I was still disoriented from whatever he’d put in my wine but I kicked out at him. I was aiming for his balls but I got him in the stomach instead.”
She could still remember the look of shock and anger that had come over Greg’s handsome face when her foot connected with his toned midsection.
“Hey, you little bitch,” he’d growled. “What the hell is wrong with you? I just went down on you for like, thirty fucking minutes. You owe me something in return!”
“I don’t owe you a Goddamn thing! Get off me,” Kate remembered gasping, twisting and kicking, fighting to get up—to get away—to get anywhere but where she was, pinned to the dirty bed and about to be raped.
“I managed to twist around,” she told Rone, closing her eyes. “I was scrambling off the bed but he grabbed the back of my dress and tried to yank me back.”
Rone made a low, menacing sound but said nothing, though Kate could feel the tension in the big body behind hers.
“It was my scars that saved me,” she said, trying to laugh. But the laugh came out sounding more like a sob.
“How?” he asked in a low voice.
“My dress ripped.” Kate swallowed hard, remembering the choking feeling of the material pulling tight against her throat and then the low, purring sound of fabric ripping down the back seam of the dress she’d been wearing. “It ripped,” she said again. “And when he saw the scars from all my surgeries, he gagged—actually gagged.” She took a trembling breath. “And he said…he said, ‘God, no wonder your pussy tasted so fucking weird. What are you, some kind of a circus freak?’”
“The bastard,” Rone growled angrily. “How dare he try to force himself on you and then play on your worst insecurity?”
“Well, as it turned out, playing on insecurities was what ol’ Greg was all about.” Kate gave another sobbing laugh and found that her eyes were stinging. “I got away from him that night and I wanted to report him. But he sent me an e-mail…”
“He threatened you?” Rone asked when she paused.
“Yeah, but not how you’d think. See, it turns out he and his roommate did this kind of thing a lot and they had a camera set up to film it. Sick fucks.” Just the memory turned her stomach.
“The images should have been enough to show what kind of male he was and convict him!” Rone exclaimed. “Why didn’t you bring them to the authorities?”
“Because the part he sent was just…just pictures of my back. After my dress ripped, I mean.” Kate licked her lip, which still stung from the way she’d bitten it earlier during the caning. “He said…he told me in the e-mail that it was my fault I hadn’t enjoyed what he did to me. And he said he’d circulate the pictures and let everyone know…know what a ‘frigid freak’ I was. I…I didn’t want that. Didn’t want anyone seeing my back—my scars.”
“Kate…”
She hugged herself tightly, unable to stop talking.
“I know I should have spoken up—I wanted to. I was getting up the nerve to do it when another girl did. And some others came forward and backed her up. And then…then I felt like I couldn’t. I mean, Greg and his roommate, they actually raped, those other girls. I guess…guess I felt like I’d gotten off light and I couldn’t…I mean, I didn’t have it as bad as they did so I couldn’t complain.” She sighed and wiped tears from her eyes. “Or maybe that was just an excuse I used so I didn’t have to admit what had happened, so I didn’t have to let everyone know what a freak I was…what a freak I still am.”
“You’re not a freak,” Rone said roughly. “Kate, look at me…” He turned her to face him and looked at her earnestly. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, brushing away a tear from her flushed cheek. “Always so beautiful and brave and perfect to me, baby.”
Kate gave another jagged laugh. “Yeah? Well, I don’t think I acted very bravely at the time. And it’s not like I had it as bad as the other girls Greg and his roommate got to.”
“You fought him,” Rone said fiercely, his blue eyes burning. “Even with the drug in your system you fought! And you say he didn’t hurt you—didn’t rape you as he did the other females. But Kate, he still penetrated you against your will. And nearly suffocated you at the same time!” A look of deep sorrow came over his face. “Now I understand why you’re so reluctant to let me taste you. How can I blame you after what that bastard did?”
“I…” Kate didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before. It’s just…I’ve spent so long trying to forget it. It’s hard…hard to talk about.”
“Of course it is,” he said gently. His big hands curled into fists. “Where is the son of a bitch who did that to you now? I want to find him the next time we go to Earth and kill him.” His voice was a low, menacing growl. “I’ll rip his fucking head off and bathe in his blood!”
Kate shook her head. “You can’t do that, Rone! And anyway, I don’t know where he is now.”
“Was he at least punished by the authorities for what he did?” Rone demanded.
Kate sighed. “I think he cut some kind of deal, if I’m remembering right. He turned on his roommate and somehow just got community service or something.”
“What?” Rone sounded really incensed. “How could they just let him go free when all the evidence was caught on film?”
Kate shrugged. “Well, someone tipped them off and they destroyed most of it. And for the footage that was left, apparently they were careful to keep their backs to the camera while they were filming so it was impossible to identify them.”
“Then he hasn’t been properly punished.” Rone was glowering now, obviously really angry. “I’ll see to that the next time we go to Earth—I swear it. I just wish you could tell me where he’s living now.”
“I have no idea. It’s not like I would ever want to keep track of him. I just wanted to get on with my life and try to forget.” Kate took a deep, trembling breath. “And for the most part, I did. I tried to forget about Greg, though I didn’t forget what he’d taught me—I was a lot more careful after that. I think…” She coughed. “I think it took me two years after that to go on another date and I never let myself be alone with a guy in his room or apartment again. But I recovered…I had other relationships.”
“Never any lasting ones if what you told me was true,” Rone said in a low voice.
“No,” Kate admitted uneasily. “It was…really hard to trust guys after that. Human guys, anyway. Maybe…maybe the reason I was able to trust you is because you’re not human—not like them. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I wish I could remember.”
“You did say something like that to me, early in our relationship.” Rone sounded thoughtful. “And it did take you a long time to let me see your scars…or to let me taste you. Now I understand why.”
“Yup. Now you know the whole, ugly story.” Kate tried to say it lightly but her words fell flat.
“Yes, now I know,” Rone said softly, breaking the awkward pause that had fallen between them. “And it makes me marvel even more at your bravery—that you were ever able to overcome what was done to you and trust me.”
“I wish I could remember that—remember trusting you.” Kate heard the wistfulness in her voice but couldn’t seem to help it. “I must have felt really comfortable about you to let you see my scars and…do everything else we apparently did.”
“It took months,” he admitted, stroking her hair. “Months of talking and spending time together—I poured my whole self into the effort. I wanted you so badly, wanted you to trust me…to open up to me.”
Kate sighed. “You must feel like all that effort was wasted now.”
“Of course not. In fact, I want to thank you for trusting me again,” Rone said gravely. “Trusting me enough to tell me your story. You didn’t in the past, you know. It never came between us but I always felt there was something…some shadow on your heart and I wanted desperately to know what it was. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Kate found she couldn’t meet the burning intensity of his eyes for long. They were still lying on the bed together, face to face, and the intimacy of the moment was almost too much to bear. “Um…” She cleared her throat, casting about for something to say, some way to break the tension that had somehow grown between them. “Okay, so I showed you mine, now it’s time for you to show me yours.”
“What?” Rone frowned at her, clearly not understanding.
Kate felt stupid. God, what was wrong with her? Well, other than the fact that she’d just endured a brutal beating and shared the most private and painful experience of her life with a man she still couldn’t remember loving. She took a breath and tried again.
“I mean, I told you my story. About why…why I didn’t want you, uh, tasting me.” Her cheeks felt warm but she made herself go on. “Now you have to tell me about the hunger.”
Rone looked distinctly uncomfortable.
“Ah, well…perhaps…perhaps we should keep it for another time.”
“What?” Kate frowned at him. “Listen, Mister, I just spilled my guts to you and it was not easy. Now it’s your turn. Don’t tell me you’re backing down.”
“All right.” Rone made a face. “No need to question my honor. I’ll tell you but I don’t want you to feel…to feel…”
“To feel what?” Kate looked at him, honestly confused. “What is it? Are you afraid it’s going to make me feel bad?”
“It shouldn’t,” he said, looking at her earnestly. “Truly, Kate, I don’t want it to. That’s why I’d rather not tell you.”
For a moment Kate almost relented. But then she remembered how hard—how agonizing—it had been to dredge up the memory of her assault. Whatever Rone had to tell her, it couldn’t make her feel worse than that.
“Just tell me,” she said evenly, looking him in the eyes. “What is the hunger?”
He sighed, clearly defeated.
“The hunger is the name we Wulven give to the desire we feel for our mates. Only…” He shook his head. “It’s not really just a desire. It’s more like…like an addiction.”
“You’re addicted to your mate? To me, I mean?” Kate looked at him in surprise. “You mean…sexually?”
“Yes, in a way,” he admitted in a low voice. “You know I have a Beast inside me—a feral creature that thinks only of feeding and breeding.”
“I…I know,” Kate said, hearing the little catch in her voice. “The Knowing told me—warned me the first time I saw you. Or back at the mall, anyway.”
Rone nodded. “It warned you when we first met as well. Yet, you still pursued me. I think it fascinated you—that and the fact that I wasn’t human.”
“That sounds about right,” Kate said. “I love to get to know new people and other cultures have always interested me.”
“I know.” He gave her a small smile. “That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you.”
“Okay, but getting back to the Beast…?” Kate prompted gently. “Do all Wulven males have them?”
Rone nodded. “Before a Wulven male is mated, we have to allow the Beast time to come out and roam every month. At the convergence of the full moons, we go to the Howlund—a special area set aside for males, especially unmated ones—and let the Beast come out.”
“What happens after you’re mated?” Kate asked.
“Well, then we have another way to control it. To keep the Beast quiet.”
“What way?” Kate prompted.
Rone sighed reluctantly.
“The Beast is a creature of pure emotion and appetite. It feeds on pleasure…sexual pleasure.”
“So…because we’ve been separated for so long and we haven’t, uh…haven’t had sex…” Kate coughed. “I mean, are you telling me you need to get your rocks off? Is that it?”
“The hunger isn’t fed by making love—or not only by making love,” Rone said softly.
Kate felt a surge of relief. “Okay, so we could get you off another way? Maybe a, uh, hand-job? Or a blow-job?”
Her cheeks got hot but she spoke the words anyway. After all, in the past several days, they’d touched each other very intimately and though she still couldn’t remember the past and Rone being her husband, she had to admit she was definitely attracted to the big Kindred. She could see her way clear to helping him out if he needed her to.
But he was shaking his head.
“I’m afraid you’re misunderstanding me. It isn’t my pleasure the Beast feeds on—it’s yours, Lalli. It’s the pleasure of a male’s mate that satiates it and keeps it quiet and contented.”
“But…how can that be?” Kate asked blankly. “It can feel my pleasure?”
“It can,” he admitted in a low voice. “But it isn’t just your pleasure that the Beast hungers for.”
“What then?” Kate felt her breath catch in her throat. She thought she knew what he was going to say but…
“Your honey.” He looked away and she saw that his big hands were clenched into fists. “The Beast—my Beast—is addicted to your honey. It craves it desperately, Kate.”
“My honey? You mean my…” Kate nodded down at herself, to the V between her legs.
Rone nodded. “Your juices. The sweet nectar your pussy makes when you’re aroused.”
Kate felt herself go hot and cold all over.
“And when it doesn’t get to…to taste my, uh, honey it becomes…what—dangerous?”
She vaguely remembered hearing both Madam Shadow and Mistress Light warning the big Kindred that his hunger was getting out of control and there would be trouble soon if he couldn’t get it taken care of. But she’d been so out of it with pain the words hadn’t made sense. Now she understood.
“My God,” she whispered. “I finally get it—why you told me you always had to, uh, ‘kiss’ me awake and ‘kiss’ me goodnight and the reason we had a freaking schedule for you to…to taste me. And now it’s been over six months so your Beast is probably starving.”
Rone nodded, looking miserable.
“Do you see why I didn’t want to tell you? Especially after what you told me?”
“I guess so…” Kate bit her lip and then squeaked in pain. “Ouch!”
“Are you all right?” He looked at her anxiously. “What happened? Is your back still hurting? I thought I healed all of it but…”
“No, no,” Kate hastily reassured him. “My back feels fine—better than fine, actually. It’s my lip.” She touched one fingertip to it delicately and hissed in pain. “I practically gnawed through it when I was trying not to yell while Madam Shadow was whipping me.”
“I know.” His eyes were shadowed. “I thought my heart would burst when I saw that. It nearly killed me to watch you take that beating and not be able to get lose and help you.”
“It was no fun for me either,” Kate said grimly. “But you healed me up. And maybe something good came of it. Now we understand each other a lot more than we did before.”
“Much good it does us.” Rone sighed. “What I still don’t understand is how you ever opened yourself to me in the first place after having such a horrible experience.”
“I must have trusted you,” Kate whispered. Somehow, she couldn’t stop looking at him—his strong features…the way his eyes glowed with concern for her. And he smelled so good—it made her want to reach out and touch him. She put her fingers to her sore lip again.” Could…do you think you could heal this too? My lip, I mean? It really stings.”
Rone’s piercing blue eyes were intent as he looked at her.
“If you trust me,” he said quietly.
“I do,” Kate whispered and she was no longer certain she was just talking about her lip.
“Then I’ll heal you,” he murmured. Cupping her cheek, he lifted her jaw and leaned towards her. Kate’s heart was pounding as she felt his warm breath against her face. God, what was she doing? Just letting him heal me—that’s all, she insisted to herself. Then his hot tongue was bathing her wounded bottom lip, tracing delicately along her hurt flesh and taking away her pain.
As she had before, Kate felt a tingling running through her, a healing warmth that spread to all parts of her body—especially the more sensitive areas. She moaned softly as she felt her nipples go tight and between her legs her pussy began to feel swollen and hot. God, how could he affect her so much with just a kiss? Because that was what it had turned into—her lip was healed now but the big Kindred hadn’t withdrawn. Instead, he leaned closer and ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips, asking for entry.
Kate couldn’t deny him. She parted willingly, inviting him in but to her surprise, Rone didn’t immediately slide his tongue into her mouth. Instead, he sucked gently on hers, inviting her to invade him, offering himself and asking her to explore him with her own tongue, to know him more deeply and intimately than she ever had before.
With another low moan, Kate took his offer eagerly. She pressed her tongue into his mouth, tasting him, enjoying the warm, spicy flavor that was foreign and yet somehow completely familiar. The taste that was Rone. God, she shouldn’t be doing this—shouldn’t want to do this. She’d just re-lived the worst memory of her life—she shouldn’t want anything to do with any male anywhere right now.
But there was something about the big Kindred. Despite the Beast he kept chained inside him and the incredible danger he posed, he made her feel safe…made her trust him. Maybe because he was letting her take the lead.
With a soft little growl of effort, Kate pushed the big Kindred over onto his back. Rone went willingly, letting her do what she wanted to him. Even when Kate straddled his chest and put her hand to his throat, he made no effort to stop her.
“Lalli,” he murmured as her fingers tightened around his neck. Of course her hand was too small to really do any damage but that didn’t stop the surge of power Kate felt. The feeling of being in control was intoxicating—exhilarating. She squeezed as she leaned down to kiss him again—not to choke him or hurt him, but to hold him in place, to let him know she was on top and in charge.
Rone made not a murmur of protest. He only opened for her, eagerly accepting her tongue in his mouth again as she kissed him ruthlessly. Kate ravaged his mouth, nipping sharply at his sensuous lips and pressing her tongue deep inside him, exploring him as though she owned him, as though she had every right.
Rone’s eyes flickered from piercing blue to bright silver and she felt his big body shiver beneath her as she continued to kiss him. She could feel his muscles trembling beneath hers, like an engine running hot and hard, going into overdrive. But still he made no move to stop her or push her away—he just submitted to her kiss and let her do as she pleased with him.
Deep in the darkest part of her mind Kate understood that what she was doing—the way she was pushing him—was dangerous. But somehow she couldn’t stop. She didn’t know what had gotten into her but she wanted this—wanted to be on top of him, kissing him, tasting him—wanted to push him and know he wouldn’t push back. Wouldn’t hurt her no matter what she did.
“Gods, baby, please,” he groaned, when she at last came up for air. His eyes were pure, piercing silver and there was a look of desperate hunger on his face. “Please,” he begged in a deep, hoarse voice. “We can’t go on like this. I can’t…the Beast, we’re teasing it, riling it up. And I need to keep it down, keep it inside.”
“You need to feed your hunger don’t you?” Kate released his throat but still sat on his chest, looking down at him.
Rone looked away. “I don’t…I’ve managed this far. If we can just set a course to my home planet—to G’nera and I can get to the Howlund to let it out…”
“How far away is that?” Kate demanded.
“The nearest stable wormhole is at least a day away even with our hyperdrive going full speed,” he admitted. “And after that, at least another day’s travel at full speed.”
“Can you wait that long?” she asked directly.
His jaw clenched. “I’ll have to. I understand how you feel now, baby. I’d never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“I’ll tell you what would make me ‘uncomfortable’ Kate said sharply. “Having your Beast come out and rip me to shreds. Now that would be really uncomfortable.”
A look she couldn’t read passed over his face. “Actually, I used to be worried about that but I don’t think it would do that to you—not now.”
“What then?” Kate demanded. “I’m sure it won’t just shake hands and agree to stay for tea if you lose control of it.”
Rone looked away from her. “I think it’s safe to say the Beast…is more interested in breeding than feeding. At least when it comes to you.”
Kate felt a shiver of fear run through her entire body but she tried not to show it.
“So you’re telling me you might turn into a huge, hairy Beast at any minute but don’t worry, you can probably control it?”
“I can control it,” he insisted, looking back at her. “I have for this long—I can stand the hunger a little longer.”
“It’s been six months, Rone,” she pointed out. “Six months since we made love…since you…you tasted my, uh, honey.” Her cheeks were burning and she didn’t know why she was doing this—she only knew she couldn’t seem to stop pushing.
“I’ll be fine.” He pushed her gently off him and sat up, putting his head in his hands. “I have to be.”
“That’s not what Mistress Light and Madam Shadow said,” Kate pointed out.
“What do they know?” he demanded, jerking his head up to glare at her.
“Rone…your eyes are silver.” She gestured at his face. “What does that mean? Doesn’t it mean your Beast is close? Close to the surface?” She didn’t know how she knew that but something inside her whispered it was so. Maybe a buried memory that wanted to come out.
Before, whenever his eyes went silver you knew it was time to take him someplace private, whispered a little voice in her head. Take him someplace quickly and raise your skirt and push his head between your legs. Then and only then when his tongue was buried in your pussy, tasting you, did you know he was safe…
Kate reached for the memory eagerly—was she finally coming back to herself and regaining the time she had lost? But it slipped away like sand between her fingers, dissolving like a dream the moment one wakes up.
“Gods…” The big Kindred ran a hand through his hair and let out a harsh sigh. “Kate, I think it’s time to hide you away,” he said. “We need to get you into one of the smuggling compartments on the far end of the ship and lock it up tight.”
“What? No!” Kate shook her head. “Besides, what good would it do to try to hide from your Beast? You told me before that we used to play that game—that ‘Hide and Suck’—and you always found me by my scent. And aren’t your senses a thousand times stronger when you’re in your Beast form? Your senses and your physical strength too—whatever lock we use, you’ll just tear it right off and come for me anyway, won’t you?”
“Well, we have to do something.” Rone ran both hands through his hair this time in obvious agitation. “I don’t want to hurt you, baby! We have to do something to hold back my Beast.”
“We will.” Kate felt strangely calm and centered as she spoke. “We’re going to give it what it wants—what it needs—so desperately.”
“What do you mean?” His blazing silver eyes narrowed.
“It means,” Kate said evenly. “You’re going to taste me. Now.”
Rone shook his head.
“No. Not after what you told me. Not after what you went through at the hands of that bastard—who I’m still going to kill, by the way, as soon as we get back to Earth.”
“Forget about him,” Kate said evenly. “I have. Or I was able to enough to trust you before.”
“It took us months to get to that point,” Rone pointed out. “Months of me proving myself to you, showing you I would never hurt you, that I would always be gentle and careful of you, Lalli. It’s only been days since I found you again and you still don’t have your memories back. And for most of the time we’ve been together, your system was so loaded with fear toxins you couldn’t even bear to let me touch you—let alone do anything else.”
“The fear toxins are gone now, you know that,” Kate said. “And as for it taking months and months, well…even in the few short days I’ve known you, you proved yourself over and over again to me, Rone.” She ticked the ways off on her fingers. “You saved me in the mall, even when I shot you—you hung on and pulled me up when I would have fallen. You came with me to Flame and Frost and refused to abandon me when I went into the Shadow and couldn’t get out. You saved me from that damn swimming pool filled with toxic gunk and you offered to take my beating from Madam Shadow…”
A look of anger and sorrow passed over his face.
“I’m not proud of that. I shouldn’t have let her touch you—should have been strong enough to break free and keep you safe.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Kate said softly. “What happened was a good thing—it got us talking. Now we know where we stand. And I…” She took a deep breath. “I know what you need.”
“But how can you even think of giving it to me—of giving yourself to me that way, after what you just told me?” Rone demanded, his voice ragged. “Dredging up that memory had to be horribly painful, baby—I don’t want to put you through any more.”
“It was hard,” Kate admitted, putting her arms around herself. “But I think it was good in a way—to talk about it. It was…cathartic. You know I’ve never told anyone about it before? Not my roommates…not my Mom—nobody.”
“Not even me,” Rone said softly, nodding. “But do you really think you could trust me—trust any male—after letting yourself remember it again?”
“I think I can—I did before, didn’t I?” Kate frowned. “Tell me about it—you talked about it on the way to Flame and Frost but I was still so freaked out I didn’t really absorb it. How did we do it? How did you taste me that first time?”
“Very slowly and very gently.” Rone’s silver eyes went soft and he stroked her cheek tenderly. “I think I told you—we started with your panties on and just went from there.”
Kate bit her newly healed lip.
“I think…I think I can do that,” she whispered, looking up at him. “I think if you’re very slow and patient with me…”
“I swear I will be.” His eyes were half-lidded with desire now. “Gods, baby, if I could just taste you, even a little…even a few licks of your sweet honey would hold back the Beast—at least long enough to reach G’nera.”
Kate’s heart was pounding and her face felt flushed but she nodded as calmly as she could.
“Then we’ll do it. We have to—have to hold back your Beast and feed your hunger.” She looked down at herself. “Uh…but I’d kind of like a quick shower and a change of clothes first. Can you wait long enough for that?”
He nodded slowly. “I think so—if you hurry. I’m going to set a course for G’nera while you do. If we can just hold off the Beast until we get there, then I can go to the Howlund and let it out to roam safely.”
“All right.” Kate nodded and would have gone towards the small bathroom but Rone caught her in his arms and drew her close for a moment. Leaning down, he took her mouth in a soft, searing kiss that seemed to make every nerve in her body tingle.
“Thank you,” he murmured when they finally pulled apart. “Thank you for trusting me, Kate. Even though you still don’t remember me.”
“I may not remember you but I still…still like you. Like you a lot,” Kate whispered back. “I know it’s not love—not yet—but I’m trying, Rone. I’m trying to be open.”
“I know.” He stroked her hair, his silver eyes bright. “And that’s all I ask.”
Kate couldn’t take the intensity of his gaze anymore. She pulled away from his gentle embrace and headed for the bathroom. She still had on the ragged, bloodstained “exercise” clothes they’d been forced to wear at Flame and Frost and she couldn’t wait to get out of them and get a shower. And then…
And then I’ll deal with what comes next, she told herself firmly, her heart pounding. I have to.