Chapter Ten
“I’m afraid I don’t have very good news for you regarding the lab analysis,” Sylvan said.
Rone felt his heart sink.
“What did you find? Anything at all?” He strove to keep his voice steady but inside he felt like dying. Would he never get his mate back?
Sylvan sighed. “The better question might be what didn’t we find. Honestly, I have never seen anything like it. The Dream Blooms were coated in a witch’s brew of memory blockers and fear toxins so intricate and entwined it made analysis very difficult.”
“Entwined how? What do you mean?” Kate asked. She was sitting beside Rone—but not too close—on the other side of the couch in Sylvan’s office.
“I mean that the chemicals seemed to trigger each other and feed off one another. The memory blockers were set to erase all traces of the one you love the most and at the same time, the fear toxins triggered an irrational terror of that same individual.”
“All right,” Rone said. “So what’s the antidote? How do we cure it?”
“I’m afraid we can’t,” Sylvan shook his head unhappily. “Not through medical means, anyway.”
“So there’s no hope? None?” Rone demanded raggedly. Gods, he felt like he was being pulled inside out! He couldn’t even look at Kate. Instead he put his head in his hands and just tried to breathe.
“I didn’t say there was no hope,” Sylvan said quietly. “I just said we couldn’t cure Kate’s amnesia and fear through the medical means at our disposal on the Mother Ship. The chemical compound is too complex—and it’s invaded her system too thoroughly to be eradicated by conventional means.”
“But that’s…horrible,” Kate whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. “Who would do something like this? Who would want to make someone forget and fear the person…” She cast a sidelong glance at Rone. “The person they cared for most in the world?”
“Two—a Dark Kindred who is also the enemy of the entire Kindred race,” Rone said grimly. “We thought for a while that he was dead but apparently he’s still out there. He was the one that set this trap you fell into.”
“But this trap was not meant for you, Kate,” Sylvan said. “It was set for Emily, the new Khalla of the Temple of Becoming in the Holy Mountains of Rageron.”
“We had tracked her there and we attended her joining ceremony,” Rone told Kate, who looked confused. “You became friends with her—you helped her plan the ceremony. Afterwards, you sniffed the bouquet of flowers meant for her and that was when you…” His voice faltered but he made himself go on. “When you stopped knowing me. Right before you disappeared.”
“Okay,” Kate said slowly. “I can see all that. But why was this Two guy after Emily in the first place?”
“We think that Two wanted to keep Emily from mating with Tragar and thus stop her from becoming the mother of the new race of Kindred that have been foretold,” Sylvan said. “What better way than to make her forget and fear him?”
“But then why snatch her away as soon as she sniffed the infected blossoms?” Rone objected. “And why do it after their joining ceremony when they had already bonded?”
Sylvan shrugged. “Maybe just for spite. Or maybe from impaired judgment. The more I study Two’s actions, the more convinced I am that he is almost certainly clinically insane. Which is why we have a vested interest in tracking him and finding out exactly what his next move may be.”
“I’d like to find him too—and tear him limb from limb,” Rone growled. “Unfortunately, I’m just a tracker now. A good one, but unless I can catch his scent somehow, that won’t be enough. Knowing where to start…that was always Kate’s department.”
“It…it was?” Kate asked softly, looking at him.
Rone nodded. “We were a team. Your gift—your Knowing—let us know where to start looking. Once we found the scent, I was able to take over. We’ve recovered dozens of lost or kidnapped people in the three years we’ve been together.”
“Really?” Kate looked surprised but not upset which was good. She didn’t seem to like him talking about the past and yet, Rone couldn’t help it. It was the only way he could still feel connected to her—talking about the way things used to be.
“Yes, really,” he said softly. “You were amazing, baby. You always knew which direction to point me in.”
“I…I never thought of using the Knowing like that,” she murmured.
Rone frowned. “Yes, you did. That’s how I met you in the first place—you were helping the police find a missing Kindred bride. I was called in to consult too and that was where we met—in the downtown PD in Jacksonville, Mississippi.”
“I was?” She put a hand to her forehead. “I don’t remember that at all. I…there are a lot of things I don’t remember,” she confessed, looking at Sylvan.
“That’s not surprising considering the toxic mixture you inhaled,” he said gently. “There are bound to be holes in your memory—I would not be surprised if more than just your time with Rone was erased.”
“I…think it has been,” Kate admitted. “There are whole gaps of time I just…don’t remember.”
“Kate losing her memory is a terrible blow,” Rone said tensely. “However, new memories may be made. But not if Kate fears me. Not if she panics at my touch.”
“I don’t do it on purpose,” Kate protested, crossing her arms over her breasts protectively. “I just…can’t help it.”
“Because of the fear toxins that have invaded your entire system,” Sylvan said. “No one is blaming you for that, Kate.”
“Oh, no?” She shot a glance at Rone which felt like a knife in his heart.
“No, baby,” he said quietly. “I know it’s not your fault.”
“I didn’t ask for any of this.” Kate looked down at her feet. “I’m completely lost here.”
“Which is why the two of you need to find each other again,” Sylvan said. “Because until you can reconcile, you’ll be unable to act as an effective tracking team. Which is why the Kindred High Council has agreed to pay for some very special and very expensive therapy for the both of you.”
“What—like couples therapy? What good is that going to do?” Kate objected. “I don’t even remember being part of a couple.”
“This isn’t traditional therapy, per se,” Sylvan said. “It’s a resort located in the B’rrin system on Tegova’s second moon. It’s called—”
“Flame and Frost.” Rone raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re talking about, Flame and Frost, right? You want to send us there?”
“Why? What’s there? What’s wrong with it?” Kate was instantly alert and looking nervous.
“It’s very expensive for one thing,” Rone said. “A place for the galaxy’s elite. And some of the methods there are considered…controversial.”
“Controversial how? What do you mean?” Kate didn’t look a bit reassured. Rone couldn’t say that he blamed her—he wasn’t too keen on the idea himself. The resort had a very strange reputation. Depending on who you talked to, it could be either the most wonderful place in the universe or worse than the seventh level of the Hells.
“It’s not necessarily the therapeutic aspects we’re sending you for, although I do believe you could benefit from a few sessions,” Sylvan remarked. “But Flame and Frost also has a bio-chelation pool which is renowned for its detoxifying properties.” He looked at Kate. “I believe that if the two of you go there and receive the proper treatment, you may be able to rid your system of the fear toxins.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “So you want to send me to soak in a special pool and hope it can suck all the bad ju-ju out of me, I get that. But, uh…” She looked at Rone from the corner of her eye. “But why send Rone too? I mean, if I’m the only one affected—”
“You think I’d let you go to a place like that on your own?” Rone demanded, turning to her. “Never!”
“Why not? What’s so bad about it?” she demanded. “You’re making me think I shouldn’t go there at all.”
“If you don’t, I fear you’ll never get your memory back,” Sylvan said softly. “I’m sorry, Kate, but in my professional opinion, this is your only hope. And you do want back the years you lost, don’t you?”
Kate bit her lush lower lip and Rone had to look away. He was trying not to think of all the times he had nibbled or kissed her soft mouth. Trying not to think of all the times he had licked and kissed her lower too…
“Yes,” she said at last. “Yes, of course I want back my lost time. But you’re scaring me. What’s the deal with this place, anyway?”
“Flame and Frost has…a very mixed reputation,” Sylvan said carefully. “But I wouldn’t send you if I didn’t believe it to be safe. Having said that, however, you have to have Rone with you. It is mainly for couples and triads. Single participants are not welcome there. And besides, I have already spoken to Mistress Light about the two of you. She knows your entire history and why you are coming to see her.”
“Mistress Light, huh?” Rone frowned. “Is she the director of the resort?”
“One of them,” Sylvan nodded.
“So…we’ll go there, I’ll take a dip in the pool, and we’re back here lickety-split?” Kate looked at Sylvan hopefully. “That doesn’t sound so hard.”
He looked troubled. “There may be a bit more to it than that, although I hope not. We need the two of you working as a team again to track down Two. We don’t know where he went when he left the Scourge Fathership—he could be anywhere. And if he truly is insane, his actions will be completely unpredictable. I need both of you together to find him. Will you help us?” He looked at Kate first.
“Fine.” She nodded decisively. “But only because I don’t like having huge gaps in my memory. And I’d like to find the bastard that did this to me and see him punished.”
“Rone?” Sylvan looked at him.
“You know my answer already,” Rone said hoarsely. “I’ll go anywhere and do anything that’s necessary.” He cast a sidelong look at Kate but she was staring down at the floor, studiously not looking at him.
“Very good.” Sylvan clapped his hands. “Then we’ll have your ship outfitted and ready to go by this afternoon. As soon as you’re aboard, we can fold space for you. Mistress Light is expecting you.”
“Thank you. Thank you for doing everything in your power for us.” Rone rose and offered him his hand. Sylvan took it in a warrior’s clasp and squeezed his forearm tight.
“Be well, Brother,” he said softly. “You and your bride, both. We need you—both of you.”
“You’ll have us,” Rone swore. He looked at Kate who was staring at him and Sylvan uncertainly. “I swear by the Goddess. If it be her will, Kate and I will be back and tracking Two within a solar week.”
“Let us hope she wills it shall be so,” the Kindred commander said. “I know she does not lightly see the sacred bonds between the ones she has brought together broken. I will be praying for the both of you.”
“Thank you.” Kate smiled though Rone thought the expression didn’t quite reach her big, green eyes which were still shadowed with worry and fear. “That’s very sweet of you, Commander Sylvan.”
“I am not expressing an empty sentiment, Kate,” Sylvan returned quietly. “The Goddess is as real as you or me and she does care for her children—she cares for you. I believe she will see this situation rectified one way or another.”
“I hope you’re right,” Rone said. “But now we must get ready to go.”
“I’d better go see if I can find out what happened to my bag,” Kate stood also, smoothing down her blouse.
“Before you pack, Kate, there is someone here to see you.” Sylvan smiled at her. “Someone who has come a very long way just for you.”
“Really?” Kate looked at him doubtfully. “Who?”
“Come with me.” Sylvan nodded to her. “And you’ll find out.”
* * * * *
“Oh, Kate! I’m so glad to see you again!”
A tall girl with golden eyes and curly, black hair ran up and gave her a hug as soon as Sylvan ushered her into the conference room. There was a tall Kindred male standing behind her with his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. He, too, had long black hair and golden eyes.
Kate couldn’t remember ever seeing either one of them in her life.
“Um…hi,” she said, tentatively returning the hug. “It’s…uh, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet me?” The tall girl drew back and frowned down at her. “It’s me, Kate—it’s Emily. You and Rone helped Tragar and I get together. You even helped me plan my wedding! My Joining Ceremony, I mean. We’re friends—really good friends. Do you honestly not remember me at all?”
“Um…well…” Kate hated to disappoint her but she couldn’t lie either. “Not really,” she admitted. “Sorry.”
“Take it easy on her, my Khalla,” the big Kindred behind her rumbled. “Commander Sylvan did tell us that her memory had been wiped clean by the substance on the Dream Blooms. She cannot even remember her mate and he knew her longer and much more intimately than she knew either of us.”
“Is that true?” Emily peered down at her anxiously. “Have you really forgotten Rone?”
“I’m afraid so,” Kate said uncomfortably. She was glad that the male in question was back at their suite packing up. She didn’t think she could bear to see the hurt in his eyes when he heard her admit yet again that she had no memory of him.
“Oh, no…” Emily’s golden eyes filled with tears. “I feel so bad about this, Kate! That poison bouquet was meant for me. And you never would have sniffed the flowers if I hadn’t told you to.”
“You didn’t know the blossoms were a trap,” Tragar pointed out.
“That doesn’t change the fact that she’s in this mess because of me.” The tears overflowed down her smooth cheeks. Kate felt bad for her, even though she still didn’t really know her.
“Hey, now, don’t cry,” she said, patting Emily’s arm. “I’m fine as frog’s hair.”
“You’re what?” Emily choked and half-laughed through her tears.
Kate smiled. “It’s just a saying. But really, I’m okay. And we’re going to get this whole mess straightened out. Commander Sylvan is sending me and Rone to some resort called Flame and Frost.”
“Flame and Frost?” Tragar’s black eyebrows shot up in apparent surprise. “He’s sending you there?”
“Why? What have you heard about it?” Kate frowned. “Commander Sylvan says it’s my only chance to get back my memory.”
“If he said it then I’m sure it must be true,” Emily said reassuringly. “We haven’t known him long but he has a sterling reputation as a doctor. I’m so glad he’s helping you. So when are you going?”
“Well…this afternoon, I think.” Kate tried to smile. “Apparently it’s going to help us, uh reconnect.”
Emily gave her a worried frown.
“You don’t sound very happy about that. Want to talk about it?”
“Uh…” It was strange—Kate wasn’t normally one to open up to strangers. But somehow, even though she didn’t remember Emily, she felt as though she knew her. You can trust her, the Knowing whispered inside her head. She’s all right.
“Come on…” Emily was already pulling her over to a couch in the corner of the large conference room. “Let’s have some girl talk.”
“I will go find Rone and see if he needs help preparing his ship,” Tragar murmured tactfully. “I will see you later in our guest suite, all right, my Khalla?”
“Of course.” Emily gave him a loving smile and then turned her focus back on Kate. “Okay now, tell me what’s wrong. Why don’t you want to get back with Rone?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to get back with him—it’s that I don’t know him.” Kate sighed and raked a hand through her curly hair. “I feel like he just dropped into my life with all these demands and expectations and he keeps talking about this life we had and all the things we did together and I can’t remember any of it. I feel like…like my former self was this impossibly wonderful wife. How can I live up to that? How can I be the person he wants me to be for him when I don’t even know him?”
“Oh, sweetie…” Emily grabbed both her hands and squeezed tight. “I understand completely—it’s terrible when everyone expects you to be something or someone you have no idea how to be.”
“You understand? You’ve had…a similar experience?”
Emily laughed. “Have I ever! Look, it’s a long story but I didn’t always look like this.” She gestured at herself. “I wasn’t too much taller than you and I had pale blue eyes and dishwater blonde hair and then I changed.”
“Uh, you did? You grew a foot and your eyes and hair changed color?” Kate couldn’t quite keep the skepticism from her voice. It seemed impossible even though the Knowing told her it was true. Also, she could feel the truth of Emily’s words through their clasped hands. But still…it was weird.
Emily laughed. “You sound like my older sister, Anna, when I had to convince her. But yes, I changed that much. Because I’m a Khalla—a female Beast Kindred. We’re really rare and if Tragar hadn’t found me and recognized what I was, the change would have killed me. Anyway…” She sat up a little straighter. “Everyone around me kept telling me I was this marvelous, rare thing—this fabulous Khalla and they had all these expectations of me that I didn’t know how to fulfill. It was making me crazy for a while. So yes, I understand what you’re going through—at least in part. It’s hard and confusing and really upsetting.”
“Yes, exactly!” Kate nodded. “And it doesn’t help that every time I get too near Rone or accidentally touch him I have a panic attack,” she added.
“You do? You can’t even touch him?” Emily’s eyes filled with sorrow. “Oh Kate, I’m so sorry! Nobody told me that. And after the way the two of you used to be together…”
“How did we used to be together?” Kate couldn’t help asking. “I mean, I know what Rone thinks but I’d really like an outsider’s opinion.”
“Honey, the two of you were so in love,” Emily said softly. “I mean, seriously, Tragar and I are newlyweds but you guys really gave us a run for our money.”
“You mean we were always…” Kate’s throat felt tight and she couldn’t finish her sentence.
“Always sneaking off for some ‘alone time’,” Emily finished for her. “And sometimes you didn’t even make it to your rooms! I remember one time we caught the two of you out under the full moon making love in the middle of the temple gardens.”
“Um…having sex in a public place? That doesn’t sound like me at all.” Kate frowned.
“Well, you said something like that when you apologized for it the next day,” Emily remarked. “But you told me it had to do with the moon and something Rone had called the, uh, the hunger I think it was. Something about how he needed you more at certain times or something.”
“The hunger?” Kate frowned. “What is that, anyway? I heard a little bit about it but I don’t understand it at all.”
“I don’t really understand it either,” Emily confessed. “I think it might have something to do with how Wulven Kindred have bonding sex with their mates.”
“Bonding sex? What’s that?” Kate demanded.
“It’s making love in a way that ties the two of you together permanently and forms the mental bond between you,” Emily said. “It’s different for every kind of Kindred.”
“Well what is it like for Wulven Kindred?” Kate couldn’t help the uneasy feeling that rose in her at the idea of making love with the big Kindred who was supposed to be her husband.
“I don’t honestly know. All I know is that Wulvens are supposed to be incredibly dangerous to everyone but their mate. Lots of the other Kindred won’t even associate with them because of it.”
“Really?” Kate was feeling more and more uneasy. “And what happens when the bond between a Wulven and his mate gets broken?”
“Oh, it can’t get broken,” Emily said confidently. “That’s impossible.”
“It happened to us—to Rone and me,” Kate said quietly. “Or if it’s not broken, it’s buried so deep we can’t access it. That’s what Rone says, anyway.”
“Oh, no…” Emily put a hand to her mouth. “Oh, Kate, I’m so sorry. Tragar was afraid something like that might happen—he said the two of you had an incomplete bond.”
Kate frowned. Hadn’t the priestess in the Sacred Grove said something like that as well to Rone the night before? And she’d said that Kate would have to tame Rone’s Beast too—an idea he had been adamantly opposed to. But what did it all mean?
“Well, I don’t know what we can do about it now except try to get it fixed,” she said at last. “Which we’re going to do, so…”
“Still…I just…I still feel terrible.” Emily sighed and pressed her hands. “About your memory…your broken bond…and especially about the touching thing. You say that just being near him freaks you out?”
“Something like that.” Kate shifted uncomfortably. “Commander Sylvan says it’s the fear toxins in my system. “Were…” She cleared her throat. “Were Rone and I really that close?”
“You were all over each other. Not just for sex though,” Emily told her. “It was more than that. It was like you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Rone was always holding you in his lap and carrying you around…”
“Really?” Kate frowned. “Now that really doesn’t sound like me. I mean, I know with my size a lot of guys would like to pick me up like I’m a doll but I don’t go for that. I’ve always been one to stand on my own two feet.”
“I don’t know…” Emily shrugged helplessly. “All I can tell you is what I saw before you got snatched away. And you guys were literally always touching each other.”
“I see.” Kate bit her lip. At least this explained some of why Rone was so upset that she couldn’t touch him. Apparently they had been a very affectionate couple. Actually, he was extremely handsome…so big and strong and muscular with that thick, black hair and those piercing blue eyes…she could see how touching him would be nice. If it didn’t give her a panic attack, that was.
“He loves you, Kate,” Emily said earnestly. “And deep down, I believe you still love him too. Maybe this resort—this Flame and Frost place—can help you remember it.”
“Maybe,” Kate murmured. “It would be nice not to freak out every time I got near him. And he seems really sweet and caring, I just…I don’t know him, Emily. And it’s really hard to trust that—”
“Kate?” Just then Rone and Tragar came back into the conference room.
Kate jumped guiltily, wondering if the big Kindred had heard her.
“Right here,” she said, a little too brightly. “What’s going on?”
“We are ready to go.” Rone nodded at her. “I have your bag packed and loaded in the shuttle.”
“Oh—okay. I thought we weren’t leaving until this afternoon.”
“We weren’t.” He sighed. “But I thought, the sooner we get there…”
“The sooner we can get this whole mess cleared up. Right.” Kate nodded, feeling a flutter in her stomach. She couldn’t believe she was really going to do this—couldn’t believe she’d agreed to go to a couples resort in a whole other solar system light years from Earth with a husband she didn’t remember and was scared to death to touch.
But how else am I going to get my memory back? How else am I going to get my life back on track?
There was no other way. She was going.
“All right then. We’d better go.” Rone reached out a hand to help her up, apparently by reflex, and then drew back quickly. Emily saw his hand clench into a fist at his side and a look of frustration passed over his face. “Come on,” he said shortly.
“Coming.” She got up on her own, trying not to be too obvious about the fact that she was keeping some distance between them. “Let’s go.”
“Wait!” Emily jumped up as well and pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re going to be okay, I know you are,” she whispered in Kate’s ear. “And as soon as you get your memory back, come visit me on Rageron—okay?”
“I will,” Kate promised, hugging her back. She still didn’t remember the girl but knowing she had a friend who cared and who had known her back before her memory wipe gave her a warm feeling inside. “Thanks, girlfriend.” She pressed a quick kiss to the other girl’s high cheekbones.
When they pulled apart, Emily had tears in her eyes again.
“Oh…that’s what you used to call me back before…at the temple,” she sniffed, wiping moisture from her golden eyes.
“Aww…” Kate didn’t know what to say. She pressed the other girl’s hand quickly and turned to follow Rone out of the room. As she focused on his broad back, she thought about the few crumbs of information Emily had dropped for her. Who and what exactly was her husband? What was the hunger and why would it make him ‘need’ her more at certain times? Need her for what? Did she need to be wary of Rone, even after the toxins were removed from her system in the bio-chelation pool?
Kate didn’t know but she was afraid that she would find out in the very near future.