Vin was so cold to me today, I could’ve sworn I just imagined everything that happened last night, right down to how easily I fell asleep in his arms. I should’ve stolen his keys and escaped. Why didn’t I do that? Because I’m dumb, that’s why.

He fucked me and now he’s done with me. That’s how all guys’ mind’s work, and why should he be any different? Just because he makes me feel good? I only felt good with him, because he was the first man to show me any kindness and friendliness, since I was abducted two weeks ago. It’s just an illusion, the result of my kindness-starved mind.

I tried all sorts of things, while he was in my room explaining about the horrible video sex he wants me to do. I giggled and touched his arm, I flipped my hair back, and tried to have a conversation, but he was all business, not a shred of the friendliness he showed me last night visible anywhere. Even his eyes were just dark green, with no promise of anything in them. Dead like the stillest water.

Watching this video of another girl taking orders through a computer screen and doing all sorts of things with her body makes me nauseous. But I guess it could be worse. I could actually be forced to have sex with a stranger.

Getting abducted was terrifying, but I sort of grew used to it on the long sea voyage. But now, tomorrow, the reality of my new life begins, and that cold fact is starting to dawn on me. So clearly and so fast, I’m shaking, and I can’t stop.

I think last night I was still Katarina, the pretty girl who thought she had a shot at a modeling career. A shot at love and a family and a life that’s not ruined by poverty. My mother ruined her looks and her back by working ten-hour shifts as a cleaning lady, and my dad hasn’t stopped coughing for the past two years. He used to work as a house painter, but can’t get any work lately, since he can’t breathe the smell of fresh paint for more then five minutes without going into a coughing fit. I was going to send them some of the money I made every month working as a model in London. I hoped it’d be enough so neither of them would have to work again. And I’d get my dad the best doctor I could find.

Neither were happy about me leaving for London. But I’m their only child, and they never said no to me when I really, really wanted something. And I really, really wanted a shot at a modeling career. I researched the company the headhunter said he worked for online, and it looked real and like a great opportunity. But I realize now how easy that kind of thing is to fake online. So instead my parents will never hear from me again, and I’m sure they’re already freaking out.

Not that I learned anything from my ordeal. Instead of trying to run away last night when I had the chance, I made another naive and stupid decision. Put my trust in a man. And I can’t even pretend that I didn’t bring this fate on myself with my own stupidity and poor decisions.

I wish it was dark already, so I could go to sleep. I wish I wasn’t locked in this room alone, that I had someone to talk to. And I wish I was ugly and undesirable. Then this nightmare wouldn’t be my reality right now.

* * *

VIN

After I explained everything to the girls, I called Rocco to take the night shift, and went out for a drink with a good notion of finding a girl to fuck. But I just ended up getting drunk, because none of the girls looked even remotely fuckable. Not compared to Kat, that is, because some were real hotties.

I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about her, or stop hearing her moaning and whimpering, while her pussy is clenching around my cock in an orgasm the like I don’t think she’s ever had before last night. That I was the one giving her the first real orgasm of her life makes me happy and proud.

The main reason I can’t get her out of my head is probably because she’s forbidden fruit. A dangerous girl to be playing with. But damn, do I want to play with her. I’ve always had a hard time controlling my more primal desires, but I could always do it. So why is it so hard with Kat? I wanted to fuck her and I did. I got her out of my system, and I should be moving on by now. I never had any trouble doing that with any other woman I fucked.

It’s almost six PM now, and Rocco’s been calling me every ten minutes for the last two hours, leaving annoyed, angry and totally inappropriate voicemails about how I need to get to the house and start doing my job. I’m his boss now. I tell him what to do, not the other way around.

I don’t return his calls, just get in my car and drive to the house. I’ll drink some scotch when I get there to help fight this hangover that just won’t go away. And hopefully get the image of Kat coming for some sleazy old man out of my mind.

“You took your sweet time,” Rocco says, as I walk up to the porch. The ashtray is so full he’s flicking the ash from his cigarette on the floor, and I can already hear my mother bitching me out for it in the morning.

“You’re free to go now,” I say pointedly, since I’m sick of not getting the respect I’m due as my father’s son. Sure he made me start at the bottom, and I get that, it’s how he got started and look at him now, but it doesn’t make me and Rocco equals. And I’m just about done taking lip from him.

“Good,” he says then tosses his cigarette on the ground and stomps on it. “Because they’ve gotten started upstairs and their moans are making me horny as hell. I gotta get me some ass tonight.”

He has a wife at home, but I get the distinct impression she’s not the one he means.

I just walk into the house. But god damn it, he was right about the moaning. It’s echoing all through the hall, and I can still hear it clearly in the living room. So much for not thinking about Kat anymore. I swear I can recognize her moans among all the others. And it makes me jealous, angry, and horny all at the same time. No amount of scotch is gonna make me forget her tonight.

Is she enjoying it? I hope not with all the pigheadedness of a Neanderthal, but for her own good, it’d be better if she did. This is her life now. It’s only gonna get more involved where sex is concerned. And thinking that makes my jealousy boil over into rage.

I grab the bottle of scotch and go back out on the porch. It’s getting dark and it’s cold, but it’s better than listening to Kat’s moans.

Five hours later I’m freezing, slightly tipsy, and lightheaded from all the cigarettes I’ve smoked. But I know one thing.

There’s no way I’ll just forget Kat. She’s not mine for the taking, but I want her, and goddamn it, I’m gonna take her.