Back to where we started this crazy story. Eli sucked my left nipple into his mouth. Delicate, slow pressure built as his tongue circled my nipple. Asher took my other nipple into his mouth. Quick, hard, and with just enough teeth that my body clenched down low. I tossed my head back and moaned, grabbing each of them by the hair and holding them tighter to me.

And then I heard that words that threatened to crush my heart.

“Wait, stop.” Eli’s gaze flickered from me to Asher. “I don’t think…”

I looked to Asher, who seemed carefully blank-faced until I figured out what to do. Lastly, I looked at Eli and did my best to offer him a patient, loving expression.

“I’m sorry,” he said, standing up and pacing the side of the room. He ran his hands though his mussed-up hair. “I don’t think I can do this.”

But at least he hadn’t run out of the room or pulled on any clothing. That had to be a good sign, I thought. “It’s okay. This is a big deal to all of us.” I said, looking to Asher for some help.

“Just sit down and spit it out. What’s the problem?” Asher said, not very helpfully, I might add.

“What he means is, talk us through it. What’s bothering you?” I held out my hand to Eli and he took it, stroking my palm with his thumb.

“Do you want me to make a list?” Eli said sharply, then shame washed over his face. “Sorry. I mean, it’s not one thing. It’s several.”

I nodded as if to say, okay, go on.

“This should be stating the obvious, but I’ve never shared anyone before. And I don’t know that I like it.” Eli said.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t want either of you to think about sharing me. That implies I’m some sort of object that you can possess. It’s insulting.” I could practically hear Asher roll his eyes, so I continued. “Instead of you guys taking turns on the old gal, how about you look at this as a relationship between the three of us, equally.”

“But I’m not gay.” Eli said.

“No one said you were. You can care about someone without wanting to fuck them, can’t you?” I asked.

“Sure,” Eli looked past me, staring at the wall. His jaw muscles flexed and I tried to remember how hard this must be for him, a guy who crossed all “t’s” and liked every box to be ticked.

“Maybe what we need are ground rules? Eli, you’re more like me. Guidelines, reason, logic. You need those things to feel in control. Asher, you’re not at all like me or Eli, but I think that’s a good thing. You can remind us to ease up a bit. Live a little.”

Both of them nodded, so I continued, totally pulling ideas out of my ass.

“First, no jealousy or fighting over me. I’m not your plaything. To help with that, I think we should only be intimate together—all three of us, or not at all.”

“But I’m not gay.” Eli said, again. Stress must put him on autopilot, I thought.

“We heard you the first time.” Asher finally spoke. “Believe me, I’m not either. I’d think that is pretty obvious though, since we’re both giving this crazy relationship a shot—all for the love of one woman.”

“Thanks, I think?” I wasn’t sure whether I should be insulted or not.

I decided to ignore it and move on to the business end of things. “No one is asking either of you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. So ground rules… no touching, licking or anything else that could be construed as sexual contact, without some sort of permission. It goes without saying that rule mostly applies between the two of you—you know I’m good with anything.”

“Well, um. What do you mean by permission? And contact?” Eli asked, flicking a glance at Asher. It was so cute, the way he was really trying to turn the situation into something he could understand.

“Well, obviously, accidents are bound to happen. A lot of moving parts. Darkness. There could be some drive-by-touching. But if one of you is thinking about doing something that might make the other one uncomfortable, make sure it’s okay.”

Asher nodded and we both looked to Eli. He was silent, thinking, for several minutes before he finally spoke. “Okay, but can I ask for one thing?”

“Sure, ask away,” I squeezed Asher’s hand and he parroted my response.

“Instead of diving right in, can we just sleep together tonight? Like actual sleeping—I’d like to be a little more comfortable with a dick in bed with me.” Eli grinned then, the first of the evening.

“Hey!” Asher threw a pillow at Eli and we all chuckled.

“Sure, I’d like that.” I laid back in the bed and Asher joined me. “Get the lights, will you Eli?”

He went to turn the lights off while Asher made himself cozy beside me. I heard Eli stumble over something while making his way back to the bed and I resisted the urge to make a wisecrack. Asher didn’t resist.

“Bro, I hope you’re more coordinated in the sack.” He said.

Eli climbed in the bed on the other side of me and pulled up the covers. “I’ll try, Asher. Just know that if I elbow you in the junk it will be a total accident.”

After a bit more smack-talking, the guys grew quiet and I was able to settle into a contented position, on my side facing Asher. He lay on his side, facing me, and I draped my arm around him, skimming the swell of his perfect ass with my fingertips.

Eli lay snuggled up behind me with his arm wrapped over stomach and another of his body parts pressed into my hip. It was going to be a long night, I decided, drifting off to sleep with a swollen heart and an ache between my legs.