TEN

 

That night, when they were supposed to leave San Francisco to drive up the coast to Portland, the bus broke down. Luckily, they were just a few miles outside of town, so it wasn’t far to go back into the city, and the suite of rooms that they’d just left hadn’t even been booked.

Until then, it had been a good day. Maybe the best day that Jamie had had in a long time. He had a whole closet full of new clothes, clothing that he had picked, with Lance’s help, and he and Lance had agreed to stop fighting what they felt for each other.

Even breaking down wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It meant they’d have to book it the next day to get to their next engagement, but that was fine. They still had time. And the beds in the hotel were considerably better than those in the bus, so no, he wasn’t going to complain.

“Hey,” Jamie murmured to Lance. They were both sitting on the couch once more, the same couch where Jamie had gone down on Lance. Good memories, for sure. “When everyone is asleep, what do you think about …”

Ken walked by then, giving them both dirty looks, and flopped down in an armchair nearby, his teal eyes fixated on both of them. Jamie wanted to curse as he saw that Ken was settling in, apparently in for the long haul.

Only it was worse than that. Because his eyes were narrowed appraisingly, and when Ken spoke, it was obvious that Jamie hadn’t been careful enough.

“What does he think about what?” Ken demanded, and Jamie fought back a wince. The only way this was going to work was if they kept it secret from everyone. Once one person found out, then more would, and then that was when the shit would hit the proverbial fan.

Funny how he’d been so eager to get into this band. Funny how he’d thought it would simplify his life. If anything, it was more complicated than ever, but he knew very well that he wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

“Oh, he was probably asking if I want to play Chess,” Lance said, and his voice was admirably cool. Jamie probably would have stammered like an idiot, if Lance hadn’t been there to bail him out. But Lance sounded like it was the most natural thing in the world, like it was nothing.

Just sex, Jamie reminded himself, keeping his breathing slow and even. Just. Sex. That was all that had been offered and all that he even wanted.

“Chess? Boring,” Ken commented, and he flipped on the television. Jamie would have loved to tell him if it was so boring, he was welcome to leave, but when he glanced over at Lance, the other man shook his head and gave him a little pleading look.

That look made Jamie swallow down his temper. If they were going to hide this, Jamie was going to have to not act like Lance was more to him than a friend and co-worker. Casual, that was what it had to be, so Jamie ignored Ken.

Lance gave him a look of relief when Jamie turned away from Ken.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Lance commented, and it took Jamie a moment to realize that he was responding to the question that Ken thought Jamie had asked. This really was getting more complicated by the moment, and it was getting difficult to keep things straight, but Lance was more than worth it.

Lance got up and disappeared into his room while Jamie watched, bewildered. Had he just been ditched? But a few moments later, Lance came out, smirking as he set the chess board from the tour bus on the table.

“Lance!” Jamie laughed, shaking his head a little at the man’s audacity. “Did you steal the Chess board from the bus?”

Lance gave a guilty, gorgeous little grin and shrugged his strong shoulders.

“I mean, it’s not stealing if I bring it back tomorrow, right?” Lance asked, and Jamie shook his head as he started to set up the pieces. He was amused, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but be touched that Lance had done this, just on the off chance that they could play.

Jamie won the first game handily, but the second, he actually had to struggle a bit. It took some effort to get Lance into checkmate, and Jamie raised his gaze from the board to look at his … lover? Was that what Lance was?

“You’re getting better,” he acknowledged, and Lance, obviously pleased with himself, smirked and nodded.

“Shook the rust off. Now you’re in for it,” he commented, as they both set up their pieces again.

“Hey, at least you’re almost a challenge now,” Jamie teased, and they started to play again.

“Jamie,” Lance spoke softly, and Jamie looked up, surprised by the warmth of the look that he saw directed toward him. “What were you really going to say to me before?”

Jamie frowned and glanced over at the armchair, where Ken was waiting, watching, judging. Or so he thought. When he actually looked, he saw that Ken was gone, nowhere to be seen, actually.

“I think we bored him with the game. He’s been gone for at least half an hour.” Lance smiled a bit, leaning across the board, inclining his body toward Jamie. “It’s late. Everyone is asleep. So tell me what you wanted to say to me before we were interrupted.”

Jamie grinned. It was probably good to know that they could bore Ken with Chess. It made things potentially a lot easier, though somehow, he didn’t think that would work quite as well on Aaron. But Aaron kept to himself and was way less of a problem.

“I was thinking if it gets really late …” Jamie glanced at his phone, and the really amazing thing, he realized after the fact, is that it didn’t even occur to him to hide it. He didn’t tend to let people see his phone, which was a model so old that it barely even worked. “Like it is now, we could maybe go to bed.” He paused and then, just so that it was clear, added one more word. “Together.”

Maybe that was a little bit blatant, but then, Jamie had never been known for subtle. Besides, from the smirk that twitched up the corners of Lance’s full, luscious lips, he didn’t exactly mind.

“Your bed or mine?” he asked, but before Jamie could answer, Lance had his hand fisted into the material of Jamie’s shirt, and he was pulling him close and pressing a hard, needy kiss on him.

It was incredible, how much the heat between them could build in such a short time. They’d played around in the dressing room, and they’d both come, which should have relieved some tension. Instead, it only seemed to have made it that much more intense, only seemed to have thrown more fuel on the fire, rather than slaking it.

They kissed until Jamie couldn’t even breathe, until the arousal, which always seemed to be there humming in his veins, in the deepest parts of his body, which Lance so effortlessly seemed to stimulate within him, was not so much humming in the background. More like boiling through him, the tightness between his legs making it impossible to think about anything else.

“I don’t care,” Jamie finally answered, and if he’d been less focused on the hardness of his cock, he probably would have hated how needy he sounded. “Your bed, my bed. Just get me to a bed, or I’ll jump you here.”

He wasn’t bluffing, either. He had done it once before, and he would happily do it again. He had the idea that Lance sort of got off on the risk of it, which would have been more than enough reason for Jamie to go for it anyway.

There was more to risk here than just being caught, though, and they both knew that. Lance smirked a little, but he rose to his feet, catching Jamie around the waist and whirling him breathlessly up with him.

“My room,” Lance decided, and his hand tightened, resting on the small of Jamie’s back as he pulled him close and kissed him like his life depended on it, which was really fair enough, because, for Jamie, it sort of felt that way.

Lance groaned, the most beautiful, urgent little sound, and Jamie found himself spinning around, his back hitting the wall as Lance pinned him there. He gasped softly and then arched his body, spreading his legs and accepting Lance’s thigh between them.

Their mouths did their best to devour each other, and Jamie was so hard in his pants that he was sure he could explode with hardly any stimulation at all. And that was before Lance raised his strong, muscular thigh, started to grind against Jamie, and encouraged Jamie to rub against him.

How far it would have gone, Jamie wasn’t sure. Truthfully, he thought that Lance probably could have had him right there, and Jamie wouldn’t have made a peep of protest. But there was a rustling sound, as if blankets were thrown back or a robe was tossed on, and then light footsteps in one of the rooms. Aaron’s, Jamie thought, but they weren’t going to stick around to be sure.

A door opened right as Lance and Jamie disappeared through it, tugging each other in, and then they were safe. The door, shut and locked, kept the world out, for now. It was just them, Jamie realized, and it was pretty amazing to him. Just the two of them, and a lush, seductive, luxurious bed, soft as a cloud.

They pulled apart, and for a moment, they just looked at each other. Then Lance gave an incredibly sexy little half smile, and his pose got seductive, almost coy, as he started to strip his t-shirt over his head. Inch by inch of golden skin was revealed, the muscles of his abs and chest bunching as he removed his clothes.

That was all that was needed. Jamie smirked and started to strip, too, making a game of it. Slow, seductive, every motion graceful, he slid free of his clothes, and he got to watch as Lance’s eyes lit up at the little striptease which Jamie gave him.

Each bit of cloth that Jamie removed from his body was joined by one of Lance’s, and by the time they were both naked, Jamie was ready to go, not able to think about anything, feel anything, but his desire for this beautiful man and his tight, tall, toned body.

More than that, by some miracle, Lance was looking at him with the same expression that Jamie knew was mirrored on his own face. But looking soon wasn’t enough, and they came together, drawn by something that Jamie would be hard-pressed to describe, but which simmered between them and had from the first time that their eyes met.

“Jamie,” Lance murmured—the most beautiful sound, a soft, sighing utterance of his name. He’d never loved his own name as much as he did, hearing it on Lance’s lips. They fell down onto the plush, yielding surface of the bed, hands already tracing over torsos, greedily devouring each other as they gave in to the pressure and kissed once more.

There was a different sort of quality this time, though. No rush to get each other off, not yet, at least. And that was when Jamie knew that they were going to go so much further than rubbing, further even than sucking or jerking each other off.

He looked at Lance, deep into the emerald depths of his eyes, and groaned softly. Spreading his legs, he rolled onto his back, his arms around Lance’s body as he pulled the bigger man on top of himself. The hard lengths of their erections lined up perfectly, and they rocked together.

It was a strange sensation for Jamie because while there was desire simmering there, and most definitely urgent desire, there was no hurry. It was going to happen, and for the moment, at least, that was good enough. He just let himself go, and the thing was, he trusted Lance to be there with him. He trusted that he could allow himself to feel this, to feel all of it and that Lance would be there to catch him, to share this with him.

Slowly, their hips rolled, rising and falling, grinding and rutting together. Jamie looked up at Lance, tracing over his body, over one sweet brownish nipple, then up the strong column of his throat to rub the pads of his fingertips over the soft, smooth, lush surface of his lips.

It was like he was trying to memorize this man. Like he could somehow commit everything about this moment to memory, because who knew what this was between them? There was something, but how could it last with everything going on?

Whatever this was, it was enough. It had to be because it wasn’t something that Jamie could resist. So he moaned as those beautiful lips parted, he pressed his fingers between them, fucking his lips slowly with them as they rocked together in perfect rhythm.

“You want top or bottom?” Jamie finally murmured, slipping his fingers free so that Lance could respond. Someone had to say it. Someone had to make it clear how this was going to go between them because even with this strange, zen attitude, he knew himself well enough to know that he was too needy to wait for much longer.

“I don’t care. I do both,” Lance assured him, and that honestly didn’t surprise Jamie all that much. Lance had more than a little bit of the sensual hedonist about him, and Jamie couldn’t see him turning down anything that felt good.

Maybe one of the reasons, one of the many reasons, that Jamie liked him so much.

“Me too,” Jamie assured him and then smirked up at him. “But I’m under you. Maybe this time, you fuck me.”

This time. Jamie threw it out there, just trying to make sure that there would be a next time, and Lance just grinned in acknowledgment. They kissed for a long moment, their dicks rubbing, stroking together, slick with their precome.

They could come like this, just as they had the very first time they’d been together, but that wasn’t what Jamie wanted, and he was sure that Lance was in the same boat. It was time.

Lance’s weight shifted off of Jamie, then off the bed completely, as he went to his bag, which had been all packed and ready to go. They weren’t even supposed to be here still, after all. Jamie watched, eagerly devouring the sight of his lover’s body, his long legs, the sweet curve of his beautiful little ass, a golden, shimmering God, or so it seemed to Jamie.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Jamie breathed. He couldn’t even keep the words in, and Lance rewarded him with a quick smile before he tugged out what he’d been looking for, a condom and a tube of personal lubricant.

Seconds later, Lance was back on the bed, and Jamie spread his legs, more than ready for him. He’d been having fantasies about this from the first time they’d met, and the fact that those dreams could come true had him worked up, ready to go off, but fighting it.

He didn’t want to come until he had Lance buried inside of him for the very first time.

Lance’s weight settled on him again, and they briefly kissed before Lance shifted down between his legs. Jamie moaned as he felt the pressure of lips, talented lips, on the head of his cock, a clever tongue stroking over it, and he whimpered at the rising tide of need that raised in him.

Carefully, Jamie watched as Lance covered his hand in lube and then nudged Jamie’s legs further open for him. He drizzled more of the stuff between his legs, over the tight, but eager, entrance to Jamie’s body, and Jamie shivered as the cool stuff washed over him.

Honestly, even that was more than Jamie was used to, and he expected Lance to sheathe himself with the condom and then pretty much just go to town. But Lance had other ideas. Jamie watched in stunned disbelief as Lance took more of Jamie’s cock into his hot, wet, slick mouth, and those fingers, slippery with lube, pushed between the cheeks of his ass and inside of him.

Jamie closed his eyes, the prickle of tears behind them. It felt so good. There was no pain, not even any discomfort, just more desire, more eagerness to be filled. Lance made it so good, better than anyone ever had, and Jamie gave in to it, let his body move and flow, fucking himself slowly up into Lance’s mouth as he took one finger, then two, inside himself.

“Lance, now,” Jamie whispered when it was all too much. When he needed more, when he needed to be filled, to be linked to this man, more than he needed to breathe. Or that’s how it felt, anyway. If he’d ever wanted anyone this badly, he couldn’t remember it.

Through the redness of his tightly closed eyelids, Jamie saw a shadow, heard the faint sounds of Lance moving. Those fingers pulled out of him, and Lance covered him, his hands drawing Jamie’s legs up, his knees apart and up by his chest, leaving him so open and vulnerable that Jamie should have been terrified.

But he wasn’t. What sort of strange miracle was that? He did trust Lance, who was being so nice to him, and he groaned as he reached around, gripping Lance’s ass, still without opening his eyes.

“Now,” he breathed, and there was a brief sound of fumbling, the crinkle of foil, as Jamie shrewdly deduced that Lance was slipping the condom over himself.

“Once you open your eyes and look at me,” Lance told him, and Jamie hissed in a breath, a sharp inhale, because somehow, their eyes linking while Lance took him was so much more intimate than he was sure he could bear.

But he did it. He opened his eyes, and he looked up at the beautiful man on top of him. He moaned when he saw the color on Lance’s cheeks, the way his beautiful lips were parted with his rapid, excited breath. He was the very picture of desperate arousal, and that, too, was comforting.

As their eyes locked, as a communion more intense even than that of their bodies happened between their gazes, Lance pushed. Jamie groaned and raised his hips to meet that thrust, clenching around him, trying to draw him deeper.

But Lance was in no hurry. He sank deep inside of Jamie, making him squirm, until finally, he was completely sheathed in Jamie’s body. The thick head of his cock pressed directly against Jamie’s prostate, and Jamie found himself writhing, his fingernails gripping at Lance’s shoulders, marking him and only dimly aware of it.

“Harder,” Jamie moaned, not naturally one to be shy about asking for what he wanted. He’d gotten out of the habit, but Lance had brought that back because Jamie knew it was safe. “Lance, baby, harder. I need you.”

Not that he didn’t appreciate the slow sensuality of Lance’s style, how it made him feel, perhaps dangerously, like they really had something. But his body was too needy. Lance was driving him crazy, and he knew it would take so little time for the pleasure to rise inside of him if Lance only gave him what he needed.

As Jamie gripped at Lance’s shoulders, as he clenched tightly around the other man’s cock and tried to spur him on with rapid little thrusts of his own hips, Jamie actually saw it when something, some sort of dam, released inside of Lance. At that moment, Lance gripped Jamie’s knees, pinning them up and out of the way, and then he really started to fuck him.

It was perfect. Utterly and completely flawless, the slick way that dick moved inside of him, the urgency of the thrusts, the way that thick head kept stroking over the spot deep inside of him that made him see stars. Once Lance was really going, once he was hammering away deep inside Jamie, Jamie knew that it wouldn’t be long for him.

For either of them, from the noises that Lance was making. Only Lance, always the gentlemen, seemed to need to make sure that Jamie was having a good time, and his strong fingers closed around Jamie’s dick, stroking him.

It was inevitable that the pleasure would rocket through him so soon, sending him vibrating out of all control as he spilled over Lance’s hand. He’d come so fast, but maybe that was okay because Lance groaned on top of him and his cock twitched inside of Jamie as he shuddered and trembled and spilled his come into the condom.

Jamie fell back, his hair a sweaty, tangled mess, he was sure of it. He probably looked like Medusa, but somehow, he couldn’t actually care about that too much. Not with the powerful orgasm which Lance had given him still fading from his muscles, not with that rush still making his blood pound through his veins.

For a moment, they just lay there, bodies tangled together, and Jamie didn’t want Lance to move off of him. He held him tight, greedy and selfish, wanting to maintain the connection of their bodies as long as he possibly could.

“Hey, Jamie?” Lance asked, and Jamie, still catching his breath, just arched an eyebrow to encourage him to go on. “You, uh, you seemed surprised when I, you know, prepared you. Did I do it wrong? I mean, in a way you didn’t like?”

It wasn’t like Lance to sound that uncertain, and Jamie took a deep breath, then shook his head slowly. It was scary, to think about telling Lance what he was about to say, but at the same time, he couldn’t let the man who had given him so much pleasure think that he’d done something wrong.

“No. You were perfect. I guess I just wasn’t used to it.” Jamie paused, and Lance was silent. If Lance had pressured him to go on, Jamie would have refused, but Lance just left it up to Jamie, and that helped.

“Six months ago, I broke up with someone, and he was sort of controlling.” Which was putting it mildly. It was honestly terrifying for him to say these words, but at the same time, once he’d started, it was like he couldn’t stop.

“I told you that he liked to buy me clothes. It was sort of a little bit more than that. He didn’t let me buy anything he didn’t approve. And that control, well, I guess it sort of went when we were in bed, too.”

He hadn’t said those words. Not to anyone. He had just walked away once he’d had enough, but he’d never told anyone even as much as he’d just told Lance. And he waited—a sick feeling in his stomach and clutching at his lungs like he was trying to draw air into them in a vacuum.

How was Lance, easygoing, sensual Lance, going to react to the deeply emotionally charged thing that Jamie had just told him. Jamie had gotten caught up in the moment, but this relationship between them, it was about sex. It wasn’t about sharing.

It sort of felt like Jamie had ruined everything, and he searched Lance’s face, desperate for a sign that he hadn’t but not actually expecting to find one. He’d gone and made things too personal, too emotional.