TWELVE

 

Normal people, Jamie was sure, didn’t do things like this. They didn’t just run out and buy living animals for people, almost as an impulse. But Jamie had never claimed to be normal.

It had just seemed like the right thing to do. Lance so obviously wanted a cat, that had been very clear in his jade green eyes as he’d look at the kittens in the window. Maybe that longing just reminded Jamie too much of himself. He wanted someone to belong to, something to take care of, for what felt like far too long.

At least he could give that to Lance, who seemed to need it, too. Or maybe it was Jamie’s way of declaring to this man that he had intentions that were far more serious than just sex, bringing him a gift in some sort of courting behavior.

He didn’t honestly look at his own intentions too closely most of the time. He’d woken up early that morning, he’d watched Lance sleep until he realized just how creepy he was being, and then he had rolled out of bed. It was as though the intention had simply sprung into being, fully formed, in his head, overnight.

So then he was standing, holding the little fluffy kitten behind him, trying to hide it. Much more terrified than he would have expected, Jamie looked at Lance, avoiding Aaron’s eyes completely. He didn’t even want to think about what Aaron’s reaction to this might be.

The guy didn’t seem like the kind who would want a cat around. Maybe a rattlesnake. No, a porcupine. That was definitely the pet that Jamie would expect Aaron to want.

But this wasn’t for Aaron. It was for Lance, and Jamie fought down the pounding of his heart, forcing it back down from where it seemed to want to vibrate up his esophagus. He tried to smile, but he was pretty sure his face was frozen in a smirk, and his arms trembled behind him.

Lance thought he was playing coy, and maybe that was better than him seeing how nerves gripped Jamie, how he felt, at that moment, that he simply couldn’t move.

Finally, spurred on by Lance’s impatience, Jamie managed to unlock his arms and bring the soft fabric cat carrier which he’d bought along with the cat around so that Lance could see. To keep the secret longer, he’d left the bag with the other cat care supplies outside, and he was rewarded for it when he saw the shocked look on Lance’s face. The tiny kitten mewed, and after Lance’s first surprised exclamation, he fell silent, his eyes wide.

Slowly, Jamie forced his legs to move, and he went to sit down on the couch, his eyes fixed on Lance and only on Lance. He had to trust in his instincts. He had been so completely sure that this was the right thing to do, but Lance wouldn’t say anything.

“Say something,” Jamie whispered, keeping his voice pitched low so that it hopefully didn’t sound as plaintive as he was feeling.

“You got me a cat,” Lance obediently replied, and Jamie frowned, peering into Lance’s face, trying to analyze the words, and the tone of voice. Trying to get some sort of idea of how bad this was, if Jamie had messed up to the point where he might have actually ruined things between them.

“Yeah. It’s a girl.” Jamie opened his mouth to speak and then found that the words wouldn’t stop dribbling out from between his lips once he’d started. “She’s part Balinese, at least that’s what the place that I got her from said. That’s the blue eyes. Balinese. I adopted her from a local charity that operates out of a pet store …”

How long he would have gone on, explaining things in a detail that really didn’t need to be there, Jamie didn’t know. Because Lance cut him off, gripping Jamie by his slender shoulders and pulling him close.

Right before their lips met, Jamie remembered Aaron, who hadn’t gone anywhere. Who was surely sitting there, silently judging them, and who might not talk much, but who wouldn’t need to say very many words at all to well and truly screw them over …

And then their lips touched, the connection, the link, between them was formed, and Jamie melted into the embrace. Lance pulled him close, the cat in her carrier between them, their lips meeting and their tongues tangling as they kissed.

It felt like a different sort of kiss. Like it meant something more than just the physical. Their souls meeting, not just their bodies. There had been the same thing when they’d screwed last night.

Or was that the right word? Because, to Jamie, at least, it felt far more like making love than screwing. He might have never done it before, but he had always thought that he’d known what it would feel like to be with someone that he completely loved, and someone that loved him back.

“Lance!” Jamie finally pulled away, forcing a laugh that he didn’t feel, playfully pushing at Lance’s shoulders. “Come on, man, it’s just a cat.”

He had to play it off. Make Aaron think this was the first, last, and only time that Jamie and Lance had kissed. But Lance shook his head and gave Jamie a secret little smile, his eyes glowing with affection that Jamie was pretty sure was actually there, a real thing, warm and bright as a cozy campfire between them.

“No, baby, it’s okay. Aaron knows,” Lance admitted, and Jamie turned around to look at Aaron, finally steeling himself enough to look into his face. Aaron, to his shock, didn’t seem to be upset, or disgusted, or judging either of them for what they felt, or what they’d done.

If anything, just for a moment, Jamie could swear that he saw something like a wistful desire in Aaron’s eyes. Not toward either of them, but just in general. It seemed like even the ice prince, the one who held himself apart, was human, and had a desire for human connection.

And then Aaron surprised him more than ever. He rose to his feet, moving smoothly, gracefully, over to the cat carrier, which was still draped over both Lance and Jamie’s laps. He pressed his fingers against the mesh, and the kitten pushed her little nose against his fingertips and let out a soft little chirp of greeting.

“She’s beautiful,” Aaron admitted, and Lance smiled and nodded.

“Beautiful,” Lance agreed, but he wasn’t looking at the cat. He was staring right at Jamie, speaking to him directly while Aaron was busy with the kitten.

More than a few surprises were going on for Jamie. Lance’s reaction, Aaron’s reaction, they were all far beyond what he ever could have imagined.

But it was good, all of it. And that was maybe more dangerous than if it had gone poorly, because something was starting to happen inside of Jamie, a slow unfurling, like something in him was opening to Lance, like a flower opening to the sun.

It was hope. He should have known better, but he was actually, for the very first time, allowing himself to believe that this thing could be something, that he had finally gotten his chance to be happy.

Looking into Lance’s warm, glowing green eyes, he could almost believe it. He could almost believe that his chance had come at last and that he had found the person that he could really give himself to.

Or, more importantly, perhaps, that would really give himself right back to him. It filled him with a strange, warm feeling when he remembered how Lance had kissed him, right in front of Aaron. How Lance must have told Aaron all about this relationship. Which made it a relationship, didn’t it?

For the moment, at least, he was going to let himself believe in it. At least until the phone rang and he was pulled out of this wonderful waking daydream by Lester giving them the news. The tour bus was fixed, and they were expected there immediately.

 

* * *

 

“What the hell is that?”

All of the worry that Jamie had had about Aaron hating the cat, it had been unfounded. But it was sort of funny that he’d been wasting his time being concerned about that when really, it was Ken that he should have been worried about.

“It’s a cat, idiot,” Lance said, smiling and even laughing a bit, but there was tension in the lines of his body, muscles bunching in his shoulders and neck, in a way that Jamie found very obvious.

Of course, Jamie always looked closely at Lance. Too closely, maybe, considering this was still technically a secret.

“I can tell it’s a fucking cat,” Ken hissed, his eyes filled with a rage that really seemed out of proportion to the situation. “But why is there a goddamned cat on our goddamned tour bus?”

“Jamie got him.” Lance swallowed, the only sign of his nerves, but Jamie flattered himself that he was getting pretty good at sensing that sort of thing from him. “For me.”

Snarling, pure drama in every movement, Ken stomped over to the couch and flung himself down into it. He glared around at all of them, as though daring them to comment, but no one did.

Instead, Lance ignored Ken. Jamie and even Aaron crowded around the carrier as Lance unzipped the mesh door, allowing the kitten inside free if she wanted. And she was a brave, daring little thing, especially for something so tiny, poking her head out and gazing about her with curious blue eyes.

“What’s her name?” Aaron asked, and he offered his fingers for the little creature to sniff again. She did him the favor of doing so and even rubbed her fluffy head against his fingertips.

Okay, so that was pretty cute. Watching tough, stoic Aaron make friends with the kitten, Jamie wouldn’t have ever expected it, but it seemed like even Aaron had a soft spot for animals.

“Yeah, what is her name?” Jamie asked curiously. “She came with a name, but it was sort of boring. Cute, but boring.”

“What was it?” Lance responded, allowing his fingers to wander over the kitten’s small, fluffy body, drawing an audible purr from her as she closed her eyes in feline bliss.

“Star,” Jamie answered, and Lance grinned as he hunkered down on the floor, legs crossed, letting the friendly, brave little kitten roam over his body as much as she liked.

It wasn’t fair, how cute that was. It wasn’t fair the things that it did to Jamie’s body, much less the tugging he felt on his heart as he watched.

“Star. I kind of like it,” Lance admitted. “I think she’s Star.”

On second thought, Jamie mused, maybe the name wasn’t boring after all. After hearing it in Lance’s beautiful, soft purr of a voice, he sort of thought that Star might just be the perfect name for such a beautiful creature.