Micah
Marla’s birthday party was a success, and Micah had actually enjoyed himself. Well, most of the time. Despite his attempts to steer clear of Gabe, the man seemed to follow him all night, like he was keeping an eye on Micah to make sure he didn’t run off with the family silver or something.
About two hours in, Micah had started to feel frustrated, but did his best to hide it from Adrien. Adrien had worked hard to pull this party together for his mom, and Micah wouldn’t give Gabe the satisfaction of making a scene by confronting him even though Micah had plenty of cause.
Gabe had inserted himself into several conversations that Micah and Adrien had with various party guests, making subtle digs at Micah about the fact that Adrien was his boss, implying Micah was some kind of gold digger. But the last time, Gabe had gone too far.
Adrien and Micah had been talking to a couple of Adrien’s childhood friends about criminal justice reform as Gabe had sauntered up, a little unsteady on his feet, pushing into their little circle, his breath smelling strongly of alcohol.
When Adrien’s friend Todd turned to Gabe, Micah’s muscles tensed. “You’re a lawyer, Gabe? What do you think about all the new work around criminal justice reform?”
Gabe shrugged, clutching his glass of red wine. “I don’t know really. I don’t practice criminal law. But I think Micah here can speak to criminal justice better than any of us. He’s an expert on criminals after all.” Gabe had not spoken loud enough for people around them to hear. Luckily the other guests in their little circle had no idea about Micah’s past. It also helped that Gabe was clearly tipsy.
That didn’t stop Micah’s body from going clammy. He envisioned falling through one of those trapdoors built into theater stages. One of those would have been incredibly handy in the moment.
But Gretchen suddenly appeared at Gabe’s elbow, sending Micah an apologetic look. “Gabe, I need your help in the kitchen. Now.”
The man straightened, looking a little more sober and aware than he had seconds before, and Micah breathed a sigh of relief as Gabe walked off with Gretchen.
Micah and Adrien managed to move on to other topics of conversation and meet more of Adrien’s friends and family, all of whom gave him a warm welcome. But Gabe’s jabs had cast a shadow over the rest of his night. And as he helped clean up the kitchen as the last guests left, he was relieved the night was almost over.
“Gabe, get your ass in here, now!”
Oh fuck.
Micah flinched at the sound of his boyfriend’s angry voice reverberating throughout the house.
Micah had never heard Adrien this angry, and he was a little worried about what his man might do to Gabe, no matter how much Gabe might deserve it. He dropped the garbage bag he’d been filling with used napkins and plates and rushed into the living room just as his boyfriend shoved Gabe in the chest.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Marla shouted at her sons as Adrien shoved at Gabe again.
“Push me back, you asshole,” Adrien shouted.
Gabe balled his fist but shook his head. “Not gonna put my hands on you.” Gabe’s words seemed to infuriate Adrien who shoved him again and again.
“Fuck you, Gabe. I’m not a pussy. I’m not weak!” Adrien’s eyes were wild, and he looked like he was going to unravel. Micah had to stop him before he came completely undone. He slipped between Marla and Tommy who had stepped tentatively into the living room.
“Whoa, whoa, what the fuck are you doing, babe? Just calm down.” Micah slid between the brothers, facing Adrien, gripping his shoulders, but his boyfriend rolled his shoulders out of Micah’s grasp and walked around him.
“Stay out of it, Micah.”
By now the rest of the family had made their way into the living room.
Adrien got right in Gabe’s face again. “Where do you get off humiliating my boyfriend in front of our closest friends and family? You had no fucking right.”
“Jesus, Adrien. Someone has to fucking save you from yourself. You never fucking learn. You go from a fiancé who beat the shit out of you to this guy?” Gabe waved in Micah’s general direction. “An ex-con deadbeat dad working a minimum wage job. You’re a fucking meal ticket to him, Adrien, and a fucking easy target.”
Gabe’s words exploded into the room like automatic gunfire. Seconds later, Gabe jerked back, his eyes scanning the room as he realized what he’d just said. Not about Micah, but about Reggie. Adrien hadn’t told his family about what he’d suffered at the hands of his now-deceased fiancé.
Gabe’s assessment of Micah had flayed him, and later, he’d hide out and lick his wounds, because as much as Micah hated to admit it, there was truth in the man’s words. But right now, he needed to support Adrien, whose entire body wilted under the attack.
Adrien swayed on his feet, and Micah went to him, wrapping Adrien in his arms and tugging him down on the couch. Adrien’s eyes were glazed and his body was heavy. Micah’s body went cold.
“Adrien. Adrien, look at me please.” Micah’s plea must have gotten through, because Adrien’s beautiful eyes focused and he looked around as though he wasn’t sure how he’d ended up on the couch. Before Micah could say anything, Marla and Tommy padded over, sitting on the coffee table in front of Adrien and Micah.
“Is it true?” Marla whispered. “What Gabe said about Reggie?”
Micah pulled Adrien closer to him, trying to bolster and support him. Adrien turned to Micah, the pain, sadness, and shame naked on his face. Then his features crumpled, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Yes,” he whispered. “It’s true.”
“That fucker. I fucking knew it—” Erica hissed from where she stood in the entryway of the living room.
“Oh, son. Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell us? We would have helped you.” Tommy’s face was a mixture of disbelief, anger, and sadness.
Adrien shook his head, the misery on his face shredding Micah. But he was determined to stay strong for Adrien as he confessed the secret he’d been carrying for so long. Micah rubbed Adrien’s shoulder and arm as he held him. Adrien relaxed into his side as he spoke.
“I was embarrassed. Ashamed. I was thirty years old. I should have been able to defend myself. Take care of myself,” Adrien explained, his voice breaking.
“Son, there is no shame in looking to your family for support. That’s what we’re here for. We’re here for all of you, and we’d do the same for all of our kids,” Tommy said emphatically, putting a hand on Adrien’s knee.
“No, Dad, you wouldn’t,” Adrien exploded, his voice anguished. “Because Erica and Gabe aren’t flakes like me, remember. I’m the weakest link. Me.” Adrien suddenly flew off the couch and out the door, slamming it behind him.
Micah stood, his eyes briefly taking in the expressions around the room that ranged from shock to rage. When his gaze landed on Gabe, the man’s eyes skittered away. His words echoed in Micah’s head and sadness overwhelmed him as he wondered if he and Adrien would be able to survive his brother’s distrust.
Everyone else was avoiding his gaze too. His heart sank. None of them had been rude like Gabe, but apparently the rest of them were just as skeptical of Micah. He could deal with their disapproval, but he had to know if Adrien believed any of the shit his brother had spouted. Gabe’s words had tapped into both Micah’s and Adrien’s insecurities and deficiencies.
He was willing to own the bits of truth in there and improve the rest. He was already working on it, with lots of help from Adrien. He hoped Adrien was willing to do the same. Hoped Adrien was willing to trust his instincts when it came to Micah.
The need to both comfort Adrien and know how he really felt drove Micah to his feet. He excused himself without a word, quickly slipping on his coat before stepping out onto the porch. He didn’t have to look far to find his boyfriend. Adrien sat on the porch swing, bent over, resting his elbows on his thighs.
“I’m sorry I ran out and left you,” he said quietly.
Micah walked over and sat next to him on the swing. He wanted to touch Adrien, but something about the rigid set of his body held Micah back.
“I just needed to get out of there. I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” Adrien explained in a flat tone though he sounded calmer than he had before. That gave Micah some measure of relief, and he nodded in understanding.
But a new invisible barrier rose between them, and Micah sensed Gabe’s words had pulled back the veneer that had been covering festering wounds for both Adrien and Micah. Now they had to treat the injuries. They couldn’t ignore the hurt that they both carried anymore. He knew Adrien was hurting from his confession but he had to know the truth.
“All that shit Gabe said in there,” Micah whispered. “About you being an easy target and a meal ticket…you don’t believe that shit, do you?” He held his breath, afraid of what he might hear.
“The truth is, Micah, and I know you want to know the truth,” Adrien paused, his voice low and grating. “I don’t know.
Micah’s insides twisted at those words, and he stared ahead, trying to hold it together. Adrien thought he was a gold digger. Adrien thought Micah wanted to use him. Thought he was a useless deadbeat—
“Micah, stop it.” Adrien’s urgent voice cut through Micah’s whirlwind of thoughts, and Adrien clutched Micah’s shoulders.
Micah refused to meet his eyes. He didn’t think he could hear the rest if he looked at Adrien because he knew what was coming. He knew they’d end up here from the moment he first kissed the man.
“It’s not about you, really at all, Micah. It’s about me. I don’t trust myself. And part of me thinks that, yeah, some of what Gabe said in there is true.”
Micah sucked in a breath, shocked he could feel more pain than he already did. The funny thing was Micah agreed with him. He forced himself to ask the next question even though he already knew the answer.
“So where does that leave us, Adrien? Do you think I’m just another one of your bad decisions?”
He heard Adrien sniff. “I don’t know, Micah,” he said, his voice watery and broken.
And then the pain stopped, and Micah’s body went numb from head to toe. He couldn’t feel anything in that moment, though his vision slowly blurred. But the sounds of cars driving down the side streets, the faint barking of neighborhood dogs, the wind whipping fallen leaves along the sidewalks seemed deafening to Micah, and he found he suddenly needed silence and solitude.
He rose to his feet, strangely steady. “Well, when you find out, let me know.”