Kyle

“Kyle, I’m so nervous. What if they don’t like me?” Nina turns to me, placing her hand on my chest right before we make it to the front door.

“Stop worrying your bottom lip.” I lean over and give her a small kiss. “That’s my job.” I wink.

“Great. Now I’m all horny and I have to meet your parents.” Her emerald eyes shine with desire.

“Let’s go.” I grab her hand and start to tug her back toward the truck.

“Kyle!” She digs in her heels. “If we leave, they will really hate me.”

“I’m kidding,” I laugh.

“There you guys are.” My mom comes out the door and heads straight for Nina. “Oh my! You must be Nina! I have heard so much about you.” Mom pulls her in for a hug.

“You have?” Nina looks up and flashes me a smile.

“Of course, my dear. Just the other day he was telling me about taking you to—”

“Mom!” I scold. “That’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“Well, my dear, it’s a good one.” She grabs Nina’s hand and pulls her inside. “I’m Brenda.” She looks around for my stepdad. “Jimmy!”

“Yes, honey?” He comes around the corner.

“Jimmy? This is Kyle’s Nina!” My mom twirls her around. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Reaching over, I take Nina’s hand and twirl her right back to my arms. “Nina, if you haven’t figured it out, this is my mom, Brenda, and my stepdad, Jimmy Bennett.”

“Nonsense. You can call us Mom and Dad.”

“Jimmy? Mom been into the Bloody Marys again?” I clap him on the back as I walk Nina to the back of the house where I assume Jack and his family are.

“Kyle William Lewis! That was one time!” She holds up her finger. “One! And you still won’t let me live that down.”

“Well Brenda, it was pretty damn funny,” Jimmy chimes in.

“Ky-Ky!” Trinity runs up to me, grabbing hold of my leg.

“What’s up squirt?” I bend down to give her a little tickle. “Is it your birthday?”

“Uh-huh!” She looks up at me with the same eyes her mom used to. “Pwezence!”

“Come here.” I pick her up, giving her a little toss in the air and catching her. “Nina here has a present for you.”

That’s all it takes. Just the mention of presents and Trinity is holding out her arms to go to Nina.

Nina looks over at Tristan and Jack on the couch and back to me, unsure what to do.

“It’s okay.” I lean Trinity over for Nina to take her. “Trin, can you say Nina?”

“Pwetty.” She rubs a hand over Nina’s long, dark hair, then leans in and snuggles her neck.

“I think you’re pretty, too.” Nina taps her nose.

“Looks like someone is getting sleepy.” Tristan moves from the couch and comes over to take Trinity. “How about a nap before we open presents?”

“Mmm-no!” Trinity shakes her head and holds on to Nina. “My Nema.” She tries to get out Nina’s name.

“Ohhhhh! Is little miss Trinity giving her momma a hard time?” My mom comes strolling in to save the day.

“Uh-uh.” Trinity shakes her head wildly.

“Come to Memaw, birthday girl.” She reaches out and Trinity goes straight to her.

“I’ll just put her down in our bedroom.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Tristan replies.

“So, did you guys happen to bring any fireworks?” I walk over to take a seat in the oversized chair by Jack.

“Fuck you, Kyle.” He laughs.

I pull Nina down next to me and she curls into my side.

“Jack loves fireworks.” I give him a hard time. “Was it roman candles that were your favorite?” I hold a finger up to my chin, pretending to think.

Tristan walks up and takes a seat beside Jack. “You’re confused. He loves the sparklers. You know, the long wire ones.”

“Screw those damn things.” Jack shivers.

Turning to Nina, I say, “See, Jack and I decided that this one over here,” I jab my thumb in Tristan’s direction, “needed to have a birthday to remember. So, we spent the afternoon making a mess in Mom’s kitchen while attempting to make a cake for her fifteenth birthday.”

“It was one to remember for sure.” She laughs at the memory.

“Of course, when it came time to surprise her, we couldn’t find any candles. Jack had the bright idea of using leftover sparklers from the Fourth of July.”

“Oh no! Tell me he didn’t,” Nina groans.

“Oh yes! He did.” Tristan slaps him on the knee as Jack rubs his right brow.

“I was supposed to carry the cake. You know, since she was my girlfriend.” I slide in a little dig.

“It was my idea to make it,” Jack bites back, pulling Tristan into his side.

“Anyway, this sucker here sticks the sparklers in the cake, and then lights them.” I throw my head back and laugh at the memory. “I pick up the cake to carry it, but Jack lifts it out of my hands and right into his face.” I get up and act out the scene. “Burning. Off. His. Eyebrows. Like gone. Completely.”

“True story.” Jack nods. “I had senior pictures the next day, too.”

“Noooooooo!” Nina gasps. “What did you do?”

“Skipped them.”

“Ohhhhhh. I bet Jimmy was upset,” Nina chuckles.

“Yeah, I may have been grounded for a couple weeks.” Jack leans forward, finger in the air. “But, it worked with my skipping school story.”

“Check this out.” I lean forward, hands clasped together. “He paid the old man down the road to call the school and tell them he was sick with mono, and to send all his lessons home with me.” I stand, walk over to Jack and hold out my fist. “Bro? That was epic.”

“Dude, I was the shit.” He bumps my fist.

And for the first time in a few years, I feel good. Like I have my family back.

“You know, this has been a pretty good day,” Nina says as she walks up to me and hands me a beer.

“So, you’re not going to run for the hills?” I wrap my arm around her, watching Trinity play with her presents.

“I think you’re stuck with me, Kyle.” She steps in front of me, standing on her tiptoes to give me a kiss.

“Mmm! I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” I pull her in closer.

“I could say the same,” she smiles back.

“Kyle!” My mom peeks her head out the back. “Can you tell Jimmy that we cannot paint this room golden yellow? It’s hideous.”

“Nina is an interior designer,” Beer in hand, I raise it up and point my finger down. “I bet she would love to give some input.”

She slaps me on the chest. “I’m not,” she argues.

“You very well could be, if you wanted to.” I grin. “You are that good.”

“Nina, can you come help me and Tristan for a second?” Mom asks.

“I’ll be back in a few.” She bends down. “Hey, birthday girl? You want to come with me and Memaw?”

“Go bye-bye.” Trinity makes grabby hands at Nina.

“No bye-bye.” She laughs, then grabs Trinity. “Let’s go see what Memaw is doing. Be back in a few.”

A week ago, today would have been a disaster. Family events, for me, were only attended out of obligation. It would have been a day of awkward, tension-filled conversations, but today feels like the home I used to know.

Family.

Scanning the yard, I see it’s just me and Jack. Even though we come from different parents, that man was a brother in every sense of the word. I would have given the roof over my head, shirt off my back, a kidney…fuck if I wouldn’t have given my life for my brother, but him? He took not just my pride, but my world.

Finally, after all this time, with Nina’s help, I realize that sometimes what we want isn’t exactly what we need. The way I feel when I’m around her makes me know those words are true.

It’s either now or never. I need to take all those feelings, bottle them up and throw them out to sea. Because today felt so damn good.

“Well, Jack, I guess it’s just us.” I walk over to him and clink bottles.

“I guess it is.” He nods for me to take the seat beside him.

“Hey, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Jack turns in his seat to face me.

Scratch that. Maybe today isn’t the day. Him saying those words, “I need to talk to you,” brings the past up front and center. I’ve heard those words countless times over the years and today I still don’t want to have the talk.

“Man, if it has to do with Tristan—”

“It does, but I need to get this off my chest.” He stands and starts to pace.

Shit!

“Off your chest? A confession?” I snap.

“Kyle, man, I just need you to listen to me for once.” He throws his head back in exasperation.

He’s the one who stole my life and I’m the one who’s wearing him out? Fuck that.

“Don’t do it. Today has been a step forward. Let’s not take a step back.”

“Today has been great, but man, the way you look at me?” Jack comes to stand in front of me. “It kills me.”

“Shit! You really want to go there?”

“I need to go there,” he confirms.

“Jack, it’s your daughter’s birthday. Not today.”

“I know when my daughter’s birthday is and honestly, this shit has to end so we can move on,” he spits back.

“I wasn’t really sure if you could remember or not. You know, since you bailed that weekend, leaving me to basically deliver Trinity in the backseat of my truck.” I slam my beer down and shove my hands in my pockets to keep myself from knocking the shit out of him.

“Fuck you! I didn’t know! I fucking didn’t know. If I did, I would have been there. I would have been the one holding her hand, helping her through anything and everything,” he barks.

I jump up. “What do you want from me? I’m doing the best I can. You’re my brother, Jack. My fucking brother.” I spin around, taking a step forward.

“It’s not what you think. I’ve tried to explain, but you never listen.”

That does it. Never listen? How can you listen to someone who has never tried to be heard?

“You want this? You want to do this now? Today of all days?” I’m in his face. Pissed. My body is boiling over in anger. “Of course you do.” I nod.

“I never meant for it to happen the way it did.” He bows his head in defeat.

Is he for real right now?

“The way it did? The way it did?” My hands are on his chest, shoving him backwards before I can get control of myself. “So, you didn’t care that it fucking happened? You just care about the way it happened?”

“I deserve that.” He regains his balance and takes a step forward.

“Jack, you slept with my wife, got her pregnant and then let me claim her as my own.” I run a hand over my face. “You let me love Trinity when you knew. You knew, man.”

“I didn’t.”

“You’re a fucking liar!” I scream back at him, not caring if they can hear me inside. “You fucked my wife. The moment you stuck your dick in her is the moment you could have very well been her dad.”

“That’s not fair.” He shakes his head. “This isn’t how I planned for this to go down.”

“Well, I fucking didn’t plan for you to steal my whole family.” My next words are laced with venom. “Was that your plan all along? Your mom dies so you need mine? Slowly weave your way into my life and get to experience the life I had growing up? Your dad—”

“You bastard!” He lunges at me. Hands under my arms, he tries to tackle me to the ground, but the days of him being bigger and stronger are over.

“What?” I shove him off me. “It hurts to have someone degrade what you once had, doesn’t it?” I start to walk away.

“My mom and dad weren’t like yours, but they loved each other.” He shouts after me. “I didn’t need yours, but what I did need was a brother, a friend.”

“You sure as hell have a funny way of showing it.” I whip around.

“Kyle, I swear to God, on my family, I never meant for any of this to happen!” He holds his arms out wide.

“Your family? That was my family. Mine!” I close my eyes tight, trying to block out the last few years. “I loved her since she was the freckle-faced, pig-tailed girl living across the street. I was there when she got her first B, her first bad haircut, first pimple, I was there when those guys started the rumors, I took her to every dance and walked her home every day. I loved her! My family.”

“I loved her too,” he says quietly.

“You what?” I hold a hand up to my ear.

Is he saying those words? Now?

“I loved her too.” We are chest to chest. “It was because I loved you that I knew I couldn’t love her. My brother…” He holds his hand to his heart. “And hurting you wasn’t an option.”

“You didn’t just hurt me. You fucking destroyed me!”

“Kyle, man?” he pleads.

Drawing back, I let it go. Not once, but twice. Drawing blood.

Stop!

His head flies back. “Fuck!” he roars, his face now soaked with blood. He lunges for me again, shoving me back.

Stop!

“I loved her and if you would have opened your eyes…” Another shove. “You would have seen that she felt the same way, but you…” One more, and I begin to stumble as the words come flying out of his mouth. “Were too fucking selfish to even notice.” I fall backwards.

Please stop!

“Kyle!” Jack’s eyes widen as he reaches for me.

Losing my footing, I stumble back, knocking something over. As I spin around I see it’s not something, but someone. Nina!

“Nina!” I’m down and beside her as soon as she hits the ground.

“No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!” She’s on her back, scooting away. From me.

Leaning over, I reach for her to pull her to me. “Let me help you up, baby. I didn’t mean to—” I stand up, trying to help right her, but fear laces her face.

Fear of me!

“Get away from me.” She holds up a hand.

“Nina—”

“I yelled for you to stop. You wouldn’t,” she interrupts. She’s looking directly at me, but something’s missing. Her face is empty, the love for me vanishing in a moment.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to—” I reach down to grab her arm.

“I said don’t touch me.” She jerks her elbow away.

“Kyle, maybe just give her a minute.” Jack is beside me, pulling me back.

Wrenching my arm out of his grasp, I spin to look at him. “You knew she was back there. Is this what you wanted?” I push him. “It wasn’t enough you took my family, but now you want to ruin my future?”

“I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I mean, I don’t know how long she was there. I only saw her going down.”

“Screw you.” I turn back around.

Falling to my knees, I’m back at her side. “Nina, it’s me,” I whisper. “Look right here. Just me and you, always.”

“Let me help you get her up.”

“You don’t lay a fucking hand on her. Do you understand?” I warn, twisting around, glaring up at him. Jack looks just as worried as I am.

“You got this, Nina. Come back to me.”

Her face turns to mine. Her mouth opens, then shuts.

“Nina, let me do something,” I plead.

“Take me home then.” She stands up, brushing herself off. “Now.”

“What’s all the commotion out here?” My mom comes storming out, catching site of Nina. “Oh, dear!” She looks between us. “Are you okay sweetie?”

Nina looks humiliated. Standing next to her, I wrap my arm around her shoulders. This time she lets me. “Mom? Nina isn’t feeling too well. I’m going to take her home,” I say as I walk her past my family, through the house, and out to my truck.

Opening the door, I try to help her up, but she smacks my hand away. Not knowing what else to do, I round the truck and hop in, putting it into drive. She wants to go home, but I can’t give her that. If I can’t help her, maybe Niki can.

Laying my hand on the center console, I turn my hand over, palm up. I wait for her to accept the offer and put her hand in mine.

My apology.

My comfort.

But it never comes.