Spencer
It was my first sleepover at Hallie’s place while Chris was home, and I was nervous as hell about it. Mainly because my girlfriend hadn’t been the one to suggest it. It had been her son’s idea for me to spend the night. And I didn’t know how she felt about it. We’d only been dating a couple of months, but we were getting close, all three of us, and I knew Chris’s invitation stemmed from the fact he wanted to see me and his mom together for the long haul. Maybe give him that little brother he’d been praying for.
Chris and I were outside grilling while Hallie was in the kitchen preparing the roasted potatoes and dessert when he asked, “What do you think I should do about my dad, Spencer? You think I should see him?”
Shit. I’d been bracing for this question ever since I’d heard they’d had a couple of phone conversations. “Do you want to?” I asked, turning the steaks as I tried to keep my tone neutral.
“I don’t know.” He kicked a stone off the patio before he said, “He’s a firefighter. That’s pretty cool, huh?”
It felt like a bit of a sucker punch, hearing Chris’s admiration for another man. Even though we hadn’t known each other long, I fucking loved this kid. And I’d have gone to the mat for him. It killed me that this guy had the power to hurt him again.
“Yeah, pretty cool.” I reached for my beer, taking a pull before setting it back down.
“You don’t like him, do you?”
I couldn’t be so transparent. Chris had every right to a relationship with his biological father, whether I liked the guy or not. “I don’t even know him, buddy. If you like him, that’s good enough for me.” I pretended turning peppers required all of my effort as I felt his eyes boring into me.
“If you were me, what would you do?”
Tell him to fuck off! “Uh, I’m not sure. I believe people can change. Maybe he has.”
“But you don’t think so?”
This kid was too smart, too observant for his own good. Or mine. “I think…” He’s an asshole for walking out on you and your mom. “He made a big mistake leaving you guys. Maybe he’s learned from that mistake. Maybe he hasn’t. It’s not for me to say.”
“I like having you around.” He smiled up at me, making my gut clench. “Don’t get me wrong, it was cool when it was just me and mom too, but she’s a lot happier now. With you.”
I put my arm around him, drawing him closer. “She’s made me a lot happier too. So have you.”
“Me?” he asked, sounding surprised. “What did I do?”
“Nothing. You don’t have to do anything to get me to like you, Chris. I just do.”
He ran his thumb over the cool, stainless shelf of the grill, leaving his fingerprints on the shiny steel. “Can I tell you something?”
“Sure.”
“I wish my mom had married you instead of him. Then you’d be my dad.”
Fuuuuuccccckkkkk. This kid was killing me. “Can I tell you something?” I whispered, leaning over so my lips were a few inches from his ear. “I wish that too.”
“You do?” he asked, wide-eyed.
“Just about every day.”
He grinned, revealing two slightly crooked teeth that would probably require braces in a couple of years. Braces I’d be more than happy to pay for if Hallie would let me.
“Seriously? You’d wanna be my dad if you could?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat before answering. “I sure would.”
“My friend at school, Colton, his parents divorced when he was really little too.”
“Uh huh.”
“He doesn’t even remember his dad.”
I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but I let him keep talking, sensing it was important to him.
“But his mom got remarried a couple of years ago.”
“Oh yeah? Does he like his new stepdad?”
He nodded vigorously. “He really likes him! They go to ball games and fishing together and everything!”
“Wow, sounds like fun.”
He looked at me thoughtfully. “You like to fish?”
I smiled. “Yeah, I use to fish with my dad a lot when I was growing up.”
“Think you could take me some time?”
“I’d love to.” I’d have to invite my old man on that outing, or he’d never forgive me. My family had already met Chris and Hallie, and they treated Chris like the grandson they’d always wanted, spoiling him rotten with homemade treats and new video games.
“That’d be awesome.” He paused for a minute before he asked, “You like any other sports… besides soccer?”
I threw my head back, laughing. “Sure, I was a multisport athlete when I was your age. It wasn’t until I turned thirteen I knew soccer was it for me.”
“What other sports did you play?” he asked, backing up to sit on the deck’s built-in bench so he could watch me.
“Basketball and baseball.”
“You played baseball? I bet you were good!”
I chuckled. “What? You don’t think I was good at basketball too? I’m tall enough.”
“I bet you were good at every sport!” he exclaimed, laughing. “Think you can teach me to play? I like to watch baseball. Maybe I’d like to play too.”
“We could talk to your mom about tryouts. Maybe you’d like to play on a team, huh?”
“But what about soccer? I don’t want to give that up!”
I’d seen too many kids take an all-or-nothing approach to the sport of their choice. When they became teenagers and realized that their dreams weren’t going to come true, they quit playing. At a time when having too much time on their hands was a dangerous thing. I didn’t want to see that happen to Chris.
“You don’t have to give anything up. If you want to play another sport, I’m sure we can find a way to make it happen.”
He smiled. “I like that you said ‘we.’”
“I guess I did say that, didn’t I?” I shook my head, feeling a little embarrassed he’d called me on my slip. “Don’t tell your mom I said that. I don’t want her to think I’m overstepping.”
He sighed. “I want you here all the time, not just a few nights a week. Why can’t you move in with us? Or we could move in with you! Your house is way bigger than ours, and you’ve got a pool and a game room and—”
“Hey, hey,” I said, holding my hand up. “You’re getting ahead of yourself there, man.” As much as I’d have loved to have them move in with me, I knew Hallie preferred the slow and methodical approach to relationship building.
“Excuse me,” Hallie said, her smile tight. “The, uh, potatoes are just about done. I was wondering how much longer for the steaks and peppers?”
“Five more minutes maybe?” I extended my hand, encouraging her to join us. She did, but her body seemed rigid when I pulled her to my side. “You okay?” I asked, kissing her temple.
“Fine.”
***