Spencer
I had literally thought about her all fucking night. Barely a wink of sleep. Suddenly it was fifteen years ago, and I was counting down the minutes ‘til I could see her again. I was pacing the sidelines, watching the kids’ warm-up. I’d texted and told her to arrive half an hour before the game, and she’d responded right away, promising she would.
“Glad you got Chris to play today,” Leon said, slapping me on the back. “We’re gonna need him. This team is first in the division.”
“Yeah,” I said, swiping a hand over my mouth. “He should be a real asset. He’s a big kid and quick. You were right about his skills. He’s good.” But it was more than that. It was his natural talent and passion for the game. Made me wonder if his deadbeat dad had been an athlete. Fucking loser. I saw red every time I thought about him. What man in his right mind would walk out on an incredible woman like Hallie and cause his kid to wish a stranger could have been his father instead?
When Chris had said that to me last night, that I could have been in his dad, it set me back. I loved kids. I was good with them. But that was the first time I’d felt that sense of longing like a kick in the gut. I wanted to be a parent. I was ready.
“His mom’s hot, huh?” Leon nudged me. “Did you see the rack on her?”
I glared at him. “Shut the fuck up.” Leon was divorced, with a couple of sons who played for my academy, but that didn’t stop him from checking out the pretty moms every chance he got. It had never bothered me before, as long as he wasn’t being too obvious about it. But this time it did bother me. A lot.
He raised his hands. “Whoa! Relax, man. I was just making an observation.”
I crossed my arms and clenched my jaw as I pretended to watch the action on the field. “Hallie’s my ex-girlfriend,” I said finally, when the awkward silence stretched on too long. Leon and I were friends. He was a good coach. He deserved to know why he didn’t have a shot in hell with Hallie if he planned to keep his kneecaps intact.
“No shit.” He whistled under his breath. “How long ago did you guys date?”
“Fifteen years.”
He chuckled. “Good thing you didn’t say ten or eleven.” He nudged me, grinning. “Imagine that! She shows up here and tells you, surprise, you’re a daddy!”
“There’d be worse things. Chris is a great kid.” I couldn’t keep my eyes off the door. She wasn’t due for another ten minutes, but I felt ready to crawl out of my skin. The waiting was killing me.
“Jesus, how serious were you two? You told me you’d never even come close to getting married.”
“I was serious about her.” If she’d agreed to keep seeing me, I really believed I would have proposed to that girl someday.
“Huh, so she dumped you?”
“No, we met during the off-season. I had to go back to England, and she didn’t want to do the long-distance thing.” Other parents were arriving. Kids were warming up on the field, but until a certain beautiful blonde walked in, I couldn’t focus on anything else.
“She’s divorced, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you’re getting your second chance, Spence.”
“Maybe.” I didn’t want to believe she’d walked back into my life if I had no shot with her. Fate couldn’t be that cruel. Could it?
“There she is,” Leon said, smiling.
“You warm Chris up with the others,” I said, my eyes tracking her as she smiled and made eye contact with a few of the parents before her gaze finally landed on mine. “I need a minute with Hallie.”
“You got it,” Leon said, walking toward Chris.
I fist-bumped Hallie’s son as he walked past, grinning at me like the excitement of playing in his first game was too much to contain. “You mind if we head up to my office for a minute?” I asked her without saying hello. I was strung so tight. I had to get my hands on this woman or I was gonna snap.
She glanced at her son. “I should probably stay down here—”
“The game doesn’t start for half an hour. You won’t miss anything, I promise.” I was as anxious to watch Chris play as she was. Something told me that kid was gonna be an important part of my life.
“Okay,” she said finally.
I gestured for her to walk ahead of me to the winding staircase that led to the second story offices. I tried to avoid looking at her ass as she walked up the stairs, but she was wearing tight black jeans, high heels, and a cropped leather jacket, which made it impossible not to imagine my hands wrapped around those curvy hips as I took her from behind. Fuck. She was even sexier now than she’d been back then, and I knew there was no way I could keep my hands off her.
I slammed my office door and locked it just in case.
Her eyes widened, and she licked her plump lips, her eyes straying to mine. “What are you doing?”
“We need to talk,” I said, closing in on her. The last thing I wanted was to make her nervous, but we had to work this shit out before I lost it.
“Okay.” She glanced behind me. “But why lock the door?”
“I thought about you all night.” Another step closer. “All morning.” Another step. “All fucking afternoon.” She sucked in a breath, and I forced myself to stop advancing on her. “There’s still something between us, Hallie. Don’t even try to deny it.”
“I wasn’t going to.” She was wearing a silver chain, which she started sliding through her fingers as she stared at me, waiting for me to make a move. “But that doesn’t mean we have to act on it. We’re not kids anymore, and—”
“No, we’re not.” I gripped her shoulders. “And I get that you’re a mom now, that Chris is your first priority. But you’re also a woman, and you can’t pretend you’re okay with being…” Celibate. Shit, I couldn’t make assumptions like that. Just because she wasn’t dating didn’t mean she didn’t have arrangements. She didn’t seem like the type, but I’d known the girl, not the woman.
“With being what?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. They widened as understanding dawned. “Oh. Well, uh, sex hasn’t been a part of my life in so long I barely think about it anymore.”
“And can’t you see how wrong that is?” Hallie was hands down the sexiest, most passionate woman I’d ever been with. Making love with her had been an experience I’d never forget. “You need to put yourself first sometimes, baby.”
My body was pressed against hers now, my hands curling possessively around her hips. I’d once known her body intimately and wanted to again. The sooner, the better. But I knew she wouldn’t be rushed into something she’d regret. She was too smart, too methodical. She’d think about it, weigh the pros and cons of her decision, then decide if it was right for her. I could respect that. I could wait. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t help make her choice a little more obvious.
I slipped my hands into her hair, tugging her head back so I could slant my lips over hers. “Still time to back out,” I rasped, knowing she wouldn’t. She couldn’t any more than I could. We were already in too deep. In no time at all, we were back where we’d started, needing each other with a ferocity that made everyone and everything else disappear.
She curled her arms around my neck in response, pressing her lips to mine.
I licked the seam of her lips, groaning when she opened for me. This, this was what I’d been waiting for. As I deepened the kiss, memories I’d locked away came flooding back. Her taste. The feel of her curves filling my hands. The way her body clasped mine. Spilling into her, whispering how much I loved her. Feeling more connected to her than anyone I’d ever known.
She leaned into the desk behind her as I boosted her up, hovering over her and swiping a hand across my desk, clearing it. I told myself we were going too fast, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted her too much.
Hallie finally tore her lips away, breathing heavily into my neck when I reached for the zipper on her jeans. “We can’t do this here. Please.”
She was right. Of course she was right. I had a hundred parents downstairs, and one look at Hallie made it obvious what we’d been doing. Her fair skin was red from my whiskers, her lipstick smeared, her hair a tangled mess from my hands.
“When can we be alone?” Damn it, that hadn’t come out right. I didn’t want her to think I only wanted her for sex. “I mean, I want to spend more time with you. When?”
She shook her head, looking torn. “Chris is spending the night with my mom, and these dinners with my friends usually finish early so they can get home to their husbands and kids, but I—”
“Let me text you my address. Just think about stopping by.” I took a step back, giving her room to breathe. “No pressure. I only want to talk.”
Her lips curved into a smile as she straightened her tight black top. My hand had been venturing up, anxious to feel her soft skin before she stopped me. “You sure that’s all you want to do, Spence?”
My eyes traveled leisurely down her body and back up again, enjoying the view. Especially the cleavage peeking out of her V-neck. I thought about Leon’s comment about her tits and pulled her jacket closed, making her laugh.
“What’re you doing?”
“There are quite a few divorced dads down there. Don’t want anyone looking at you.” Admitting that made me feel raw and exposed, especially since I didn’t know how she’d feel about another woman coming on to me, but I’d always been honest with her and couldn’t stop now.
She grinned. “You’re so cute when you’re jealous.”
I groaned, remembering all the times she’d said those words. She was fucking gorgeous. Men came on to her all the time when we were together, and I hated every second of it. “Old habits die hard, Hallie. Especially where you’re concerned.”
She reached for my hands and sat back on the desk, looking down. “My life is really complicated right now. I have no time for much of anything outside of Chris and my work.”
“I get that.”
“Do you?” She looked up at me. “Have you ever dated a single mom before?”
“No,” I admitted. “But you’re not any single mom. You’re you.” I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “And the truth is I couldn’t tear myself away from you right now if I tried.”
“I’m not sure what you’re asking of me,” she said, sighing.
“Neither am I. How ‘bout we just see where it goes?” I knew I was asking a lot, but I’d never make her a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep.
“But Chris…” She shook her head. “He thinks the world of you already. You have to know that.”
“He knows the footballer,” I said. “Not the man. How about we just let him get to know me. Let me get to know him.” I wanted to know her son, the person she was helping him to become.
“I’ve never, um, been involved with anyone since he was born.” She swallowed, looking nervous. “He’s never seen me with a man…like that.”
I was stunned and relieved at the same time. If she let me into their lives, it was because I meant something to her. “I won’t hold back and pretend I don’t have feelings for you, but I won’t be obvious in front of him either. I can rein it in when I need to.”
She didn’t look convinced. “What does that mean exactly?”
I laced my fingers through hers, holding her hand and kissing her knuckles. “Am I allowed to hold your hand in front of him?” I leaned in to kiss her. “Kiss you?”
“Then he’ll think we’re a couple.”
“So?”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“Okay, what are you ready for?” We’d only reconnected yesterday. Just because I was ready to pick up where we’d left off all those years ago didn’t mean she was.
“Well, we’ll obviously be seeing each other a few times a week because of soccer.”
“That’s not enough for me.” I wasn’t interested in seeing anyone else, but I wanted to know Hallie was at least willing to carve out a little time in her life for me.
“Maybe you could come over after Chris goes to bed.”
I didn’t want to be her dirty little secret, but I understood if she needed to proceed with caution because of her son. “Okay.”
She smiled. “That’s it? You’re not going to push for more?”
“Can you give me more?”
“My mom invites Chris to sleep over a few times a month,” she said, rubbing her thumbs over my knuckles. “I don’t think she likes being alone at night, you know, since my dad died. Maybe we could go on real dates then.”
I leaned in, kissing her. “I like the sound of that, a real date. And since I’m going to be picking Chris up and taking him to practice a couple of days a week, maybe we could all go out together after, grab a burger or whatever.”
Her lips thinned as she bowed her head, and I could tell she was worried about letting me get too close to her son.
“Look,” I said, extending my finger under her chin and forcing her to look at me. “I like Chris. I think he’s great. And I like that you’re a mom.”
“You do?” she asked, sounding surprised. “I don’t know why, but I thought you might have a problem with it.”
“Why would I? We’re not kids anymore. I like to know that the woman I’m dating is good with kids, that family is important to her.”
“Then you’re thinking this could be more than a casual thing?” she asked, biting her lip.
“Baby, I’m way too old for casual dating.” I chuckled. “Do I have meaningless hook-ups from time to time?” I shrugged, trying to be completely honest with her. “Sure, I do. But that’s all they are. When I actually invest time in a relationship, it’s because I can see it going somewhere. Since you and I already know each other—”
“Knew each other, Spence.” She patted my chest. “That was a long time ago. We’ve both changed a lot since then, I’m sure. I know I have.”
“People don’t change what’s in here,” I said, tapping my fingertip against her chest, in her heart region. “That’s what I fell in love with all those years ago. Your heart. And that hasn’t changed.”