Josh decided to sleep in. His whole body ached and felt like a truck had run over him backwards and forwards several times.

He was going to take it easy today and stay in. It was Saturday morning and come next week they would be training every day from sun up till sun down until the first match. Coach Simpson wanted them to go in hard. He’d upped the game dramatically and changed everything up. Josh felt sorry for the Centaurs. Losing would hit them hard.

Josh felt it was going to be a game to be reckoned with and he was seriously looking forward to it.

He’d really pushed himself, really tried to focus and do all he had to do. But it was hard.

He missed Amy too much and life wasn’t the same without her. He didn’t get another PA. Instead he asked Hilda to help out and he did the rest. It just didn’t feel right to replace Amy. He’d told Zelda that she’d be back in a few weeks, even though he knew there was a chance she wouldn’t be back at all.

He tried to hold back during his calls to Amy and never reveal how much he missed her because he didn’t want her to feel bad. She was where she needed to be and he had to respect that.

When she was here Josh had always imagined her at the first game, standing with his father, cheering for him. Just like his mother and Clarissa used to.

He then imagined being with her all the time, taking her out, going on long walks on the beach, and listening to her talk about her designs.

Josh just missed her. He didn’t know if it was okay but he planned to go see her when he had a clear weekend. Perhaps when her mother had fully recovered, because he didn’t want to impose.

He went downstairs and heard the TV. He must have left it on last night, but he couldn’t remember leaving it on the Cartoon Network. That stupid Cow and Chicken show was on. He hated it and couldn’t imagine what would possess someone to come up with shit like that.

Josh made his way into the living room to turn it off but froze at the entrance. He stopped and his heart seized within him.

Just before him was the beautiful blonde woman who he saw in his dreams every night. Actually, he didn’t need to be asleep to dream about her, he thought about her all the time, so much that he swore he hallucinated her presence.

Was this what that was? Just a dream?

He watched her sitting on the sofa, munching on a piece of toast. She looked ahead at the TV just as that dreadful cow was about to eat that disgusting meal of pork butts.

Maybe he was still asleep and this was just a figment of his imagination.

Why would Amy come back?

Why would she come back to him?

Josh brought his hand to his mouth as his Amy turned and looked back at him.

“You have no cereal, and this bread tastes weird,” she stated, smoothing a lock of her beautiful, shiny hair behind her ear.

He watched her grimace at the bread but finish off the last piece anyway.

“Amy.” He said her name just louder than a whisper, more to himself than to her as he tried to work out if she really was here.

She gave him one of those sweet smiles and stood up, bringing her hands together over her gray skirt. Just like in his dreams it floated about her golden legs, luring him to stare.

Her eyes fixed on him and she looked cautious. “I hope it was okay to come here. I wasn’t sure if you were busy.” Her gaze shifted nervously to the hallway behind him then back to his face. “Or, if maybe you had company.”

God, she thought he’d been sleeping around again. He didn’t know what to say. He was too shocked to see her, and his feelings for her overwhelmed him to the point where he couldn’t talk.

Instead he moved towards her and interrupted her next words with a kiss. It felt so good to kiss her. And to hold her. She was like pure energy to his soul and he experienced this euphoric blast of vigor as he touched her.

He held her face as he pulled away to look down at her. “You came back to me.”

She nodded and smiled at him. “Yes, I came back…to you.”

“What about your mom?” He was just trying to be unselfish.

“She sent me away,” she chuckled. “She’s doing a lot better and apparently doesn’t need me. She thought I might be needed here more. For work.”

“For work?” Josh narrowed his eyes.

“Yes, it’s a busy week ahead, right? You might have needed me for filing, and doing all that PA stuff.”

This was one thing he’d noticed about her that always stood out to him. While he was very open with how he felt, it took a while for her to express her feelings. She’d dance around them as much as she could and he’d have to drag it out of her. Even when she had evidence to confirm how he felt about her, she still veered on the side of caution.

“Amy, screw the PA stuff. I don’t give a shit about files and whatever the hell else Zelda told you to do. I missed you, and you know I don’t have company. Who would if they have you?”

Her eyes never left his; she looked at him and he saw a mixture of different feelings. He saw gratitude, admiration, but also fear.

“I missed you too. I missed you a lot and I thought I was going to miss the chance to see you play.” Her voice sounded shaky like she might cry. He took her hand into his and brought it up to his lips.

“The game doesn’t matter. This does.” He moved her hand, referring to the connection they shared. “And we’re talking far too much.”

She giggled as he swooped down and lifted her up. When she kissed him he knew this would be one of those days when they’d confine themselves to the bed.

* * *

Amy wrapped her arms around Josh and allowed him to carry her upstairs. Her mother had practically pushed her through the door and banished her from coming back until she was happy.

It was more her concern and worry over her mother that kept her in Atlanta. Had her mother been well, Amy would have been running through the door herself and into Josh’s arms.

She had her own host of worries about him, her own fears about her ever-increasing feelings for him, but during these moments when they were together she forgot everything and her heart took over.

All she wanted was him.

He took her to his room instead. He’d never said why they always went to her room, but she knew it was because he felt awkward about it.

But here they were inside his room, and as he set her down on the bed she could see all the changes he’d made. The bed, for a start, was new; he’d also painted the room a soft blue, replacing the previous green wall paper. Everything was pristine and tidy, and looked like it belonged to someone else.

“You changed everything,” she stated, still looking around.

“It seemed fitting.” The smile in his turquoise eyes contained a sensuous flame. She’d missed those eyes so much in the last few weeks. And the way he looked at her. It was the way he was looking at her now, like she was precious to him. She’d walk to the edge of the Earth to see and feel that look. Like always it had the ability to wipe away everything bad that had ever happened to her, and all she saw was tenderness, passion, and admiration.

“And the bed?” She was trying to compose herself. Trying to still her wild-beating heart. She couldn’t describe to anyone what she felt right now. It was too great for even her to accept and comprehend.

“The only person I want to share it with is you,” he replied.

She’d worried for nothing and blew her fears out of proportion. The way he looked at her told her she had.

He lowered to her and kissed her clothes off. Soon they were wrapped in a tangled web of passion and, like always, she felt that rush of desire course through her body. It quenched her thirst for him and sated the hunger that rippled throughout her.

That was all she remembered of reality. The rest was pure raw emotion that couldn’t be labeled. No words on Earth described how good she felt, and good was an understatement. It was just the beginning, and deep down Amy knew what she felt had no end.

They never left that bed. They made love until sleep took them and repeated the same process as the days went by.

She resumed her PA duties, but as soon as he got home from training they’d end up in bed again.

The night before the first game she lay awake, wide awake, and fully aware as truth hit her hard.

She loved him. She loved Josh.

She was in love with him, and it terrified her. It terrified her to a great degree and it made her feel quite shaky and insecure.

It would do her no good to play dumb with herself and even be surprised at her feelings. The path she’d been on could have only led her to this. It could have only led to her releasing the suppressed feelings she’d had for him.

Amy had been so scared all her life of falling for the wrong guy. When she had first met Josh he’d been the description of all that was wrong, now he was everything she ever wanted and so much more.

That meant he had the ability to hurt her, to break her heart in such a way that she’d never be able to fix it. She saw first-hand what he could be like, and while she knew he seemed to be into her now, what if the day came and he just got bored? Then it would be hello Allegra and bed friends.

“Baby, for the love of God, please tell me why you’re up.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“I can’t, your thoughts are deafening.” He rolled over on to his back. The feint night light traced the outline of his handsome features, making them look more defined. He sat up and sighed as he looked at her. “Did you have that stupid rat dream again?” he smiled.

Despite her state she started to laugh and sat up too. “How did you know about that?” The other night she’d dreamt of rats running all over her. She didn’t usually talk in her sleep, but it wouldn’t surprise her if she did that time. She despised rats.

“Are you kidding? You thought I was a rat and hit me, twice.”

She continued to laugh and moved over so she was next to him.

“You poor baby, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I hit you.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.” He gave her a pointed look and she instantly recalled her intense explosion on the morning of the ESPN show several months ago.

She winced. “I’m sorry about that too.”

“No, I told you not to apologize for that.” He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. “So, what’s wrong?”

Back to her worries. She looked at him, admiring him, and felt her heart reach out to him like it always did. “You should sleep, you have to be up in a few hours. It’s your big day.”

“Baby, I can’t sleep if something is bothering you. Tell me what it is.”

It was the wrong time to talk. Tomorrow was a big day for more than one reason. Yes, it was the first game of the season, but the day after was the anniversary of his mother and sister’s deaths. He’d be thinking about that and she didn’t want to worry him.

“It’s okay, Josh. Honestly. I’ll go get something to drink and you sleep.” She moved to go but he caught the edge of her negligée and took hold of her hand to pull her back to him.

“You don’t get up for drinks. Something’s up. Amy, if you don’t talk to me how will I know if there’s a problem?”

“There isn’t.” There wasn’t a problem for him. She was sure he didn’t love her, and he was right not to allow himself to be love’s fool.

“Amy.” He gave her a pointed look of insistence.

“I was thinking about my mom.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Her health is fine. I guess it got to me that she was still looking out for my father even though we haven’t seen him in more than twenty years.”

He held her gaze and stared into her eyes. Months ago she’d told him about her father. She didn’t say much, only that her parents weren’t together anymore. Saying more would have revealed her abandonment issues.

“You haven’t seen your dad in over twenty years?” He narrowed his eyes at her.

“No, we don’t have the best relationship.” She didn’t want to talk about this now because he needed to go back to sleep and it was one of those awkward topics for her.

“What happened?” His eyes were filled with concern.

“He…left us. I was barely eight and he came home one day, packed a bag, and drove away with some woman sitting next to him in his car. That’s all I remember, and we had a terrible life because my mom couldn’t always take care of us.”

“Amy.” He straightened up and put his arms out to hold her. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

She shook her head. “I try to forget it and move forward.”

“Why are you thinking about this now, at two a.m.?”

She looked over at the alarm clock and saw it had just turned two. When she looked back at him it occurred to her that she was being ridiculous and she couldn’t talk to him about this. She knew what his view was on relationships. Realistically, Amy was shooting herself in the foot by being here with him, but in the same breath it would drive her crazy to be without him.

“Amy, you look really worried.”

“That’s all,” she decided to say. “I was just thinking about it all and it made me feel antsy.”

“Come here.” He pulled her into his chest and held her. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You deserved better, baby.”

He kissed her forehead and she rested her head on his chest as he lay back, holding her. She listened to the rapid beat of his heart and heard it slow down as he drifted off to sleep again.

Amy willed herself to sleep but she was still aware and awake.

All she kept thinking was that if she wasn’t careful, she’d end up exactly like her mother.

Or probably worse.

* * *

It was like déjà vu. Josh stood next to Corey as the national anthem played, signaling the start of the new football season.

With his hand on his heart, Josh took a moment to appreciate being here. He made it. He made it and he was happy to be here. Happy and honored to join the Gladiators again and be the Mancini Machine.

He smiled to himself as warmth rushed over him and he thought of how proud his mother and Clarissa would be. He carried their memories and his love for them in his heart, carried them in his soul where they would always be.

Josh looked ahead at the crowd of fans and fixed his gaze on his father, Pete, and his beautiful Amy. They were in the front row looking on at him with pride and happiness.

Amy smiled at him and he hoped that she could see him smiling too. He knew she didn’t tell him everything earlier, and it seemed to be something she found difficult to talk about. That was why he stopped insisting and hoped she would tell him when she felt like she could.

He was so happy she was here and that she’d come back, and he couldn’t wait for this season to end so he could spend all his time with her. What she’d told him about her father really got to him and he was starting to get the impression that she didn’t have the best childhood. He felt that she’d gone through a lot and was one of those people who had to struggle to get to where they wanted to be. Josh had plans for them, and he wanted to make sure he did all he could to make her happy. She deserved it.

He turned his attention back to the game as the anthem finished. Time to focus and play. The team moved with one mind and like one body. It was time to be a part of that now.

As the game kicked off, Josh had no trouble putting his mind in the zone, and by the end of the third quarter the score was thirty to twenty-five. The Centaurs were doing their best, but of course the Gladiators were in the lead. It was a crucial time, though, because the game could go both ways depending on which team scored the next touchdown.

Josh signaled to Gage as they got back on the field for the last quarter of the game.

“Hey Montgomery.”

“Yes, old man?” Gage smiled as he came closer to him.

“That pansy ass receiver over there needs to know who’s boss.” Josh motioned to the Centaurs’ receiver, who was medium height and stocky like a pit bull. He’d zoned in on Gage several times and tried to trip him up at least four times.

“What do you have in mind?” Gage smiled with mischief.

“Let’s make him our bitch so he won’t try that shit again,” Josh said with a firm nod. Gage laughed and bumped his fist.

The receiver was a distraction and hadn’t done anything he was supposed to during the whole time they played. Their coach must have set him on Gage to slow him down.

As the game began again and the ball was passed around, Josh saw the receiver going in for Gage when he got the ball.

Gage didn’t have to communicate with Josh to tell him he was going to pass the ball to him. It was like telepathy, the mental bond they developed from years of playing together.

When Gage ran forward making it look like he was heading for the finish line to score the touchdown, Josh knew different when he watched him lift his arms up.

As Gage launched the ball backwards, over his head, Josh was right there to catch it. He was also right there to do a little distraction of his own as Gage lunged himself out of the way of the receiver so that he would crash into Josh.

The idiot couldn’t even stop himself. The guy collided straight into Josh, knocking himself backwards from the impact. Josh, however, was still standing up, as if he hadn’t been rammed into by a two-hundred-pound muscle freak. Thank God for the body he had. His muscles and height balanced him out perfectly, unlike his dumb friend on the ground.

The momentary debacle and confusion was the perfect distraction and Josh simply threw the ball back to Gage, who was now well in the clear of anyone who thought they had a chance.

Josh smiled knowing they had this game in the palm of their hands as he watched Gage take off, lightning speed down the field. As the receiver tried to get up, Josh put his foot on his chest.

“Stay down, bitch, and look ahead, that’s how you win a game like a real man,” Josh balked.

Gage had five guys on his tail but they were just wasting their breath. Josh smiled proudly as he watched his friend breeze down the field, maintaining Josh’s mantra that nothing was faster than Gage. The crowd went wild as Gage passed into the end zone, running past the goal post and across the plane of the goal line to score their winning touchdown. The stadium erupted with cheers and all the Gladiators roared.

Josh removed his foot from the guy and stood, still watching it all. He was proud, indeed, and he was also grateful. Like always he looked back to his father who was cheering for him. He wished so badly that his mother and Clarissa could be here too.

But…maybe there were, maybe they were here in spirit. It was a nice thought.

Josh looked at his father, balled his fist and placed it on his heart. His father did the same, gazing at him with pride, just like always.

The euphoria he usually felt after a game filled him. It was a good feeling and he was grateful to the woman who made this all possible. He looked at his Amy standing next to his father. They were a massive distance from where he stood on the field but she could see that he was looking at her. He kept his hand at his heart and mouthed “Thank you” to her, which she most likely didn’t see but he did it anyway.

He continued to stare at her until Ty landed a hand on his shoulder and ushered him over to join in with the celebration.

* * *

Amy was so proud of Josh, and today she had a new-found admiration for how he played with his team. This was the first football game she’d ever been to, and while she squirmed at the fighting and clashes, she had to agree that it was fantastic.

People hung around to celebrate after the game. The diehard Gladiator fans were everywhere doing all sorts of things, from buying memorabilia to taking pictures of themselves with some of the players. She was trying to get through the crowd to get down to the changing rooms to find Josh, but several people had stopped her to talk, and now Zelda was doing the same.

“Hey Miss Thing,” Zelda said, giving her a hug. Her bright green eyes sparkled with pride as she looked at Amy and gave her a hug. “We couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Oh stop.” Amy giggled.

“You know I’m right. You certainly slapped sense into the machine.” Zelda laughed heartily. “Well done.” She tapped Amy’s arm and left as she got dragged away by one of the photographers.

Amy made her escape and continued through, pushing the crowd of fans. She made it to the changing rooms and saw a whole other crowd. These were fans of a different category. These were the people who wanted autographs from the top players like Josh. The other category of fans she saw had to be what she called groupies. No mistake about it, the throng of women she saw gathered around couldn’t have been anything other, not in the skanky clothing she witnessed.

“It’s better if you stay here,” a pretty, dark-haired lady called out to Amy. She leaned against the wall adjacent to the changing room, holding her little brown purse to her chest. Amy had seen her here with Gage a few days ago when she’d stopped by to meet Josh for lunch. “Unless you want to be stamped on.” She smiled.

“Hi,” Amy said, going over to her.

“Hey, I’m Evie.”

“I’m Amy.”

“I noticed you squirming as much as me during the game.”

“I don’t like the fighting and violence,” Amy told her, wrinkling her nose. Evie laughed.

“Yes, that was my face too.” She laughed. “It’s rough as anything. I’m Gage’s fiancée, are you with Josh?”

What should she say?

Aside from Hilda and Gabriella, no one knew that she and Josh were together. Sure, the guys saw them kissing that night, but that didn’t mean anything.

Evie raised her brows at Amy’s hesitation.

“I—”

At least she made some attempt to answer, but they were interrupted when Gage rushed out of the crowd, not even batting an eyelid at the women who had gathered for him. He dashed over to Evie, picked her up, and spun her around.

“Mrs. Gage, did you see me?” He beamed as he lowered her back to the ground.

You only had to look at Gage to see how much he loved Evie. Amy didn’t think she’d ever seen that before. She didn’t know that you could just look at two people and tell they were in love. This was what happened here, because she saw the same love beaming in waves from Evie.

“Yes, Mr. Evie, I saw, everyone did.” Evie giggled. “You were fantastic.”

They were so cute with their Mrs. Gage and Mr. Evie references.

Gage acknowledged Amy and smiled. “Your boy’s just back there trying to find his walking stick and ointment.”

Amy laughed, she couldn’t help herself. The way Josh and Gage taunted each other was hilarious, and the play they made on the field had blown her away.

“Okay, I’ll wait.” Amy would have said more but she saw Josh and Corey come out of the room. They were at the end of the corridor. The host of fans surrounding them were all the groupies. At least twenty perfect-looking women who looked like a walking advert.

Amongst them were Allegra and Cindy, who were on either side of Josh.

Amy let out a slow sigh. It was silly of her not to factor in that they’d be here, and for sure Josh would most likely go out to celebrate with them.

“Amy,” Gage cut into her thoughts.

She looked back to him and thought about how he’d ran out here to be with Evie. He could have easily been with Josh and Corey with the host of groupies. But he was here with her.

The reasoning behind that was simple. What they had was different to what Amy had with Josh.

“I’m actually gonna go do some paperwork that I totally forgot about,” Amy replied. Gage narrowed his eyes at her. “It was great to meet you, Evie, and congratulations to you both.”

She left before they could answer.

* * *

Amy went to the beach. She went to the spot she and Josh always went to after they went for a walk.

She came to think but hadn’t been able to with the numbness that clouded her mind. Amy was way out of her league here and she didn’t like that she wasn’t in control of her feelings. She wanted to shut down and restart herself. Take things back to just being Josh’s PA.

Or not even that. She didn’t need to be here anymore, or be his PA. But yet she was here.

She’d fallen for him so hard that she couldn’t think properly, or think about her life without him.

As night drew on she made her way back to the house. She guessed Josh wouldn’t be there so she thought she’d just watch TV and sleep. Maybe she’d have a clearer mind in the morning.

She heard the TV on already when she got inside and couldn’t have been more surprised to find Josh in the sitting room sipping on a can of elderflower juice while he watched the news.

“Josh.” She gazed at him as he turned to face her.

“Baby, where were you?” He set the drink down and came over to her.

“I was on the beach. How come you’re here? I thought you’d be celebrating.”

“I was looking for my girl.” He smiled at her. “Why’d you leave, and why would I go celebrating without you?”

She looked at him, wondering what to say. She’d been holding back so much that she just couldn’t find the strength anymore. The tears that threatened to fall earlier ran down her cheeks now.

“Amy?” He took hold of her and pulled her into his arms. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry. I’m so proud of you. You were amazing today. Truly amazing.”

“Thank you, but I know those aren’t tears of joy, so please tell me what’s going on.”

“I went to find you after the game and I saw you with Allegra and Cindy.”

“Amy, are you sure you saw me with them? Or was I there, and they just happened to be there too.”

“I don’t know.”

He looked hurt. “How could you not know? Amy, don’t you trust me?”

She stepped back a little to put some distance between them, but he took her hand and pulled her back.

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter. You don’t owe me anything, and I owe you everything.”

“Amy, you don’t owe me shit.” He shook his head.

“I do and I shouldn’t expect any more from you.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Of course he wouldn’t, because she couldn’t tell him that she loved him. “Josh, I don’t know what we are, and I know you aren’t exactly a one-woman kind of guy, so I don’t need to trust you, because it doesn’t matter.”

He looked at her with a blank expression and sighed. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a key with a pink ribbon tied through the loop.

“What’s that?” She looked from him to the key.

“It’s yours. I had it cut the other day.”

“What’s it for?” She wasn’t understanding.

“The house.” He rocked back on his heels and smiled.

She tilted her head to the side. “I already have keys to the house.”

“Zelda gave you those keys, to work for me as my PA. I am giving you these keys to ask you to move in with me as my girlfriend. I want this house to be our house, my room to be our room, I want this TV to be our TV, even if you’re watching that awful cartoon I can’t stand.” By now tears were running down her cheeks and more came as he continued. “I want you to live with me, and be my girl. I am probably by far the worst guy you’ve ever met, and it wasn’t a good look for me when we first met, but if you give me a chance, maybe one day you’ll find that you can trust me.”

The earnest, determined look on his face gripped her and she saw the wealth of emotion in his eyes. His words stole her breath away. She didn’t realize he felt that way about her, she never expected him to. As she beheld him, she removed her fears and decided not to let them hold her back or drag her down.

“Please,” he said, taking her hand again.

“Yes.”

He held out the key to her and she took it. “So, you’ll be my girl? You’ll be…mine?”

“Always.” She threw her arms around him and cocooned herself in his loving embrace.