Chapter Eleven
“So when are you two going to make me a grandpa?” My dad blurts out in the middle of dinner.
My eyes dart around the table. Krista’s face has turned white and my brother’s jaw starts twitching and clenching.
“Um. I don’t really know, Dad. We really haven’t talked much about it lately,”
I say meekly as I look down at my dinner. Suddenly, I’ve lost my appetite.
“I’m thinking we need to start talking about it, and soon,” Trent says.
My eyes about bulge out of my head. He reaches down for his beer and takes a long swig, then points the bottle at where Krista is sitting, holding baby Nolan while she tries to eat. He puts his arm around me and hugs me to him.
“Seeing the way my girl here was off in baby la-la land earlier when she was holding him got me thinking the same thing, James.”
“And what’s that?” My lips pull into a tight line.
“Just that I was watching you and picturing in my mind how you would look pregnant with our child. And knowing that you’re carrying the next generation of Calloways.”
A lump forms in my throat and I bite my tongue to suppress what I really want to say. Hell to the motherfucking no, I will NEVER carry your baby! The child would most likely be just like him. To my credit, I’m still sitting here with my plastic smile on my face. I lean in and softly place my hand on his cheek, showing my endearment at his words.
Fake. This is all so damn fake, and if I was ever going to have a Calloway baby, it would be with my husband.
A part of me knows now it’s never going to happen and my heart breaks all over again with the knowledge. This is all too overwhelming and my head starts whirling. I look at my brother for help, thankful that my dad has gone to place his dishes in the sink.
“Well, I think that’s a perfect idea,” my dad says as he wipes his hands on the dishtowel and starts loading the dishwasher.
I use that as an excuse to make my escape.
“Here, Dad. Let me get that. You go sit down and enjoy an after dinner drink. Better yet, grab that grandson of yours so Krista can help me. All four of you men scoot out of here and let us clean up.”
“Sounds good to me.”
My brother hops up from the table and takes the baby from Krista, giving me a knowing look as he passes me by.
“Dad, grab a few beers. Let’s turn on the game and give these girls some space out here.”
I can tell that my brother’s mood has chilled and I sense that Krista feels it too as she gives him a brooding look as he walks away with Nolan in his arms. Trent talks baseball to my dad as they saunter into the living room. Thank God Dad hasn’t picked up on any of the tension filling this house today.
It’s fucking everywhere. I have seen my brother try through gritted teeth to act like nothing is wrong when he engages in a conversation with Trent. Trent seemingly has been oblivious to it.
As soon as I pick the last plate up off of the table and wander over to the sink, Krista motions for me to come over to where she is standing out of eye and ear shot from the guys.
“Listen, Zack told me to fill you in as much as I could about what’s going on, but not here. Let’s finish cleaning and then I am going to ask you to go for a walk with me and the baby. I’m sorry the shopping idea didn’t go through. After your dad called, we thought this would be a better idea.”
“It’s fine, really.” I wave my hand to signal no big deal.
I clear my throat, all of a sudden finding it very hard to breathe knowing soon I am going to find out what in the hell is really going on. The only thing concerning me right now is that Zack must not be any closer to finding Turner then he was yesterday.
************
It is a mild mid-summer day, perfect for a walk. Zack sets the stroller onto the sidewalk and Krista places Nolan in it, adjusting the top so the sun won’t touch him in any way. I become suddenly fascinated with the stroller.
“Geez, these things are like cars.”
“They sure are.” Krista laughs lightly and places a few diapers along with a blanket, wipes, and whatever else she needs in the small diaper bag she sets underneath the stroller. “They’re fully equipped with everything.”
I investigate this sucker which has little hidden compartments everywhere. A tinge of jealousy courses through my body when I think of the fact that I may never have the chance to use one of these. It hurts. It hurts so damn bad when I think about this whole fucked up situation and how badly I would give anything to see the look on Turner’s face if I were to tell him we were pregnant.
This isn’t how life is supposed to be. It sure as hell isn’t how I dreamed it would be. What could possibly be the point of Trent and his father doing this? Turner is just your average every day run-of-the-mill guy. He doesn’t come from money, so that can’t be the reason. What the hell could it be?
“Clove.”
I lift my head at hearing my name.
“Shit, you’re crying. Come on.”
Krista gently tugs my arm and starts to push the stroller down the sidewalk. I follow and reach up with my hand to swipe away the tears that I didn’t even know were falling.
We walk for a couple blocks without either one of us saying anything. I don’t know if Krista is giving me the time and space to get my shit together or if it’s me who has suddenly become closed off and despondent.
We walk for a few more blocks in silence and turn into the small open patch of grass that has a few wooden benches sitting by the curb.
“Come on, sit.” She pats the seat right next to her. I take a seat and lift my head towards the sun as I close my eyes and inhale. “You okay?”
My eyes pop open. Of course I am not okay, but I don’t tell her that. I know how worried she is for me and for Turner. So instead I look at her and smile to the best of my ability.
“I just need to know what Melody said,” I whisper. Krista stares straight ahead when she speaks next.
“I don’t know where to start, really.” Her voice cracks with misery.
“Start from the beginning.”
At this point, I’ve given up all hope that they are any closer to finding Turner, because if they were, I know that would have been the first thing out of her mouth the moment we got away from the house.
“Zack said that when he showed up at Melody’s without you or Turner, she freaked on him, thinking something had happened to one of you. Once he told her what was happening, it took him almost an hour before she stopped her crying long enough for him to get the entire story out of her.” Pausing, she glances my way.
“What the hell happened?”
“James. That’s their dad’s name.” I simply nod and she goes on. “He was an alcoholic and never could keep a job back then. He was very abusive to Melody; they were constantly fighting. Apparently he favored Trent over Turner, she said.” We both sharply in take a deep breath at her outburst.
“What?” I exclaim.
“Turner was . . . well, according to Melody anyway, he was always whiny and clumsy, which didn’t set well with their father. I guess Trent always did everything first. He got teeth first and learned how to walk first, and Turner was the one who always trailed behind. Whatever she meant by that, I don’t know.”
She waves her hand in dismissal before continuing.
“Anyway. One day he came home and started in on Turner, and Melody started in on James. She said he snapped and hit her so hard that she fell and hit her head on the edge of their kitchen table. She was knocked out cold, and when she came to he was gone and he had taken Trent with him.”
“Oh my God!” I place my hand over my mouth to stifle my scream.
“I know, right? I can’t imagine how she must have felt not knowing.” Krista lifts her hand and places it gently on Nolan’s soft leg as he lays there sleeping.
“Well, what did she do?” I ask.
“She called the cops after a few hours of not hearing anything from him and filed a missing person’s report. Zack has a box full of papers and newspaper clippings she gave him. He went through most of them last night and then this morning he took them to the station.” Krista places her hand on my knee and squeezes gently.
“They just disappeared.”
My hands fly to my mouth as I think of what Melody has had to go through for the last twenty some-odd years. Christ almighty, I am speechless at this point as my thoughts take over.
I knit my eyebrows together as all of a sudden, confusion abruptly hits. I stand up in a rush and pace a few steps forward before spinning on my heel to face Krista.
“What are you thinking?” She blurts out.
“That gives us a clue as to why he left, but did she say why the hell she kept the kidnapping and the existence of Turner’s twin brother from him?” I swing my arms out in question. “She is not telling us everything, Krista. You know, she came by the house earlier today acting all upset and wanting to see Trent. Thank God I was outside and saw her drive up before he did.”
“How did she seem?”
“She’s hiding something, I just know it. But why? For the life of me I cannot figure out why. How in the hell could she live all these years and not say a damn word to anyone? Did the kidnapping investigation just stop? I mean, you don’t simply give up trying to find your child!”
Realizing my voice has been getting louder and louder, I take a deep breath and start again in a lower tone.
“No. There is more to this story than she is telling everyone and I am going to find out what the hell it is. She’d better have a damn good reason and tell me the damn truth. My husband is God knows where right now. He could even be de-”
“No! Don’t think that, or even say it.” Krista takes hold of both of my hands as she stands. “He’s alive. You cannot think that way.”
“I don’t know anything anymore. If Melody had told him the truth, everything would be fine and my husband would be right here where he belongs. This is too much. What if he’s with his piece of shit dad and is being beaten and tortured? Oh God. I need him back.”
My entire body starts to shake as I see a vision in my mind of a bloody and beaten Turner being tortured somewhere all alone.
“Stop it right now!” Krista chastises me. “You need to be strong for both you and Turner, and you need to let Zack and everyone else involved do their jobs.”
She’s right, I know she is, but I just don’t know how much stronger I can get. I am dying my own slow, personal death here. My life is never going to be the same, no matter what happens.
“Let Zack do his job. You know he loves both you and Turner. It’s killing him to see you go through this.”
“Well, I feel like I am already dead. I’m numb to everything.”
“Oh, Clove. Honey, come here.”
Krista sits back down and places her arm around me. I lean my head onto her shoulder.
“Did she say anything else?”
“Not really. But Zack feels the same way as you do about her hiding something. He said he asked her several times why she never told anyone and she just kept saying that she was frightened of James. Zack didn’t buy that pathetic excuse for a minute.”
We share a long glance.
“I need to talk to her myself,” I say. “Maybe once she hears the hell I am living in, she will open up and tell me what we need to know. She’s Turner’s mother for God’s sake, but the way she acted this morning was almost as if she was more concerned about Trent than with trying to find the son she actually raised,” I say bitterly.
“True,” Krista says as she gets up and turns the stroller around. “We should probably head back so Trent doesn’t suspect anything.”
“I don’t think he does.”
Thoughts of this morning’s sexual escapades in the kitchen flood my mind. Not wanting to share any of the intimate details with Krista, I stand up as well. We make our way back to their house as the sun is slowly descending on the horizon and birds are chirping all around us.
I will definitely be making a phone call to my dear mother-in-law and when we do meet, she will tell me everything. Melody is the only one who can help us now, and she damn well knows it.