Chapter Twenty-Three
Turner
I failed her. I promised to love and protect her, and I fucking didn’t. I will never be able to forgive myself. All I can think about right now, all I can see, is my wife struggling, screaming and begging while the most defiling act anyone can do to a person is being done to her.
How can I even look her in the eye and begin to tell her how sorry I am?
My wife was raped, beaten by my brother. It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever heard. I’m no fool. I knew she’d had sex with him. Those thoughts ran rampant through my head so many damn times when she was missing. But this is different. The most personal part of our relationship has been violated. I feel helpless, shocked, and devastated.
I couldn’t sit there and listen to any more. All I wanted to do was get up and find the bastard. Beat him to fucking death. I would give anything to end his life. I can see it in my mind. Firing my gun, watching him fall to his death in front of me. Turning and walking away with no remorse, only satisfaction that I ended him. I have told myself repeatedly that he would pay for the things he has done, and now I want him to suffer more than anything.
I’m a reasonable man, or at least I would like to think I am. I need to sit back and believe in justice. My family would be nothing if I wound up in prison for killing that no good fucker. The thought of never holding my wife again or not being able to watch my daughter grow up into a woman is enough of an incentive to stop me. I will be there for both of my girls. I will listen to Clove if she wants to tell me anything, even if it shatters me. We have a long way to go as a couple to be able to deal with what has happened to her, but our love for each other will carry us through, one day at a time.
I look at the beautiful little miracle in my lap, sound asleep. It’s powerful what a child can make you feel. I feel such an acute attachment to her already. I am going to shower this little girl with so much love and attention that I am sure she will be sick of me by the time she’s older.
Her eyes flutter open, looking around until she seeks me out.
“Hey, little one. Did you decide to wake up and talk with your daddy?”
I absorb her smell, listening to her coo and make her cute little gurgling noises.
“What should we do while mommy is out there talking, huh?”
I bend down and rub my face into her belly. She grabs hold of my hair and I’m taken aback when she lets out a full-fledged belly laugh.
“No way!” I say. I loosen the grip she has on my hair by taking her tiny hands in mine and lifting my head back up.
“Do that again?” I question as if she understands what I am saying to her.
Her eyes go wide and she smiles while kicking her little feet. My first instinct is to jump up and go get Clove, to tell her. The door to the bedroom is closed. I have no idea if her statement is over and I don’t really care at the moment. She has to hear this.
“Clove!” I holler as I walk down the hallway toward the living room.
Everyone is gone except for Zack and Bill who are both sitting with her on the couch. She’s crying and when she looks up at me, my heart drops when I see what I can only think of as shame and dishonor in her red-rimmed eyes. I move fast, hoping I can make Journey laugh again just to be able to see a smile on Clove’s face. Anything to get that sad, despondent expression to disappear.
“Does she need to be fed?” she asks shakily, moving over my way and sinking to the floor right next to where I just sat.
“I don’t think so, she just woke up. But you won’t believe this. Watch. Let me see if I can make her do it again.”
I lay her down on the carpet and her head automatically turns in the direction of her mother’s voice. Our legs brush together and that old, familiar flame jolts up my leg. She feels it too, I can tell as we observe each other.
“You’re beautiful.”
The words slip out of my mouth breathlessly. Her lips curl into the simplest of grins, and she places just her fingertips on my thigh.
I look away, repeating the same thing I just did in the bedroom, Journey grabs hold of my hair, pulling harder than she did before and when I rub her belly with my nose she starts laughing again.
“No way. Did she? Oh, my god, she’s laughing. She’s never laughed before. This is amazing! Do it again?”
Clove pipes up like a little kid, while I keep rubbing my face into her belly a few more times. Journey pulls on my hair more as Zack and Bill join in on our laughter. I have no clue if she’s ticklish, or why all of a sudden she is laughing, and I don’t care. My little wonder girl is about as perfect as anyone can get. This right here, right now, is the best medicine my family could hope for.
************
“I’ve got it,” I holler out when the doorbell rings.
After our little funfest with the baby, Clove told me she made a call to Dr. Jollup, who immediately said she would reschedule some appointments and get here as soon as she could. True to her word, when I open the door, there she is. She stuffs her credentials back into her bag and an agent escorts her into the house.
“Mr. Calloway,” she addresses me.
“Turner, please,” I say. “My wife is back here in the sunroom.”
I turn to take her back there when she politely grasps hold of my arm.
“Is there somewhere more private I can talk to her? I would prefer more privacy if at all possible.”
“Of course. We have an office back off of the kitchen here.”
“Thank you. One more thing, Turner. I want you to know I’m here for you as well if you ever need to talk. I can speak to the two of you either separately or together. I’m available for anything the two of you may need.”
I nod politely and take her back to Clove. They retreat into the office. I linger outside the door for a moment dying a little more on the inside. The idea of her talking to anyone else but me about this kills me. I understand, though. I will do whatever it takes to make her happy again, even if I have to sacrifice my own happiness to do it.
“Hey, man,” Zack calls out and hands me a beer. “Thought you might need this. I sure as fuck do.”
“Thanks.” I take a long swig, walk to the kitchen table, pull out a chair and lay my head down. “I really don’t even know what the hell to say to her,” I tell him.
“Me either. A part of me wants to hug her and another part of me wants to beat my own ass for not protecting her, for letting her talk me into letting her stay with him once we found out he wasn’t you.”
Zach takes a drink of his own beer and continues.
“There’s only one person to blame here, man, and it isn’t us. I know you don’t want to hear this, Turner, but a part of me suspected he would do something like this. I used to wake up some nights while she was gone, from nightmares of all the ways he could have been abusing her. I don’t think he did, though. I’m not defending the asshole by any means, but I really believe he thinks he loves her.”
Zack finishes off his beer and stands, tossing the empty in the trash and grabbing another one out of the fridge.
“You don’t hurt someone like that if you truly love them, Zack. He’s fucked up. I don’t care what anyone says.”
“He is. And he will pay for what he did. Now I’m going to lay another piece of news on you and I leave it up to you to be the one to tell Clove.”
“God, I don’t know how much more she can take. The only reason why I am not fucking going out of my goddamned mind is because my family needs me.”
“You don’t think I know that? I had every intention of telling the two of you about this earlier, but then when we were on our way back from Mississippi this morning, they informed me to give you two a call to set up her statement.”
“What the hell were you doing in Mississippi?”
“I had to go.”
“What the hell, Zack? Spit that shit out!”
“Tina’s missing. Somehow they lost her last night and no one has seen or heard from her since.”
My chair topples over with a heavy thud as I jump up from my seat.
“This is fucking wacked! That psycho bitch isn’t going to rest until she destroys my wife, is she?”
I grab my beer and toss the rest of it down, then head for the cupboard above the fridge and pull out the hard stuff. I’m not much of a drinker, but right now I need this shit. I pull a glass out of another cupboard and pour it half full of the amber colored whiskey. I drain my glass; the burn feels good as the liquor slowly streams down my throat.
“Does he know where she is?” I ask as I pour another one.
“He says he doesn’t, and at first I didn’t believe him. I do now, though. For whatever it’s fucking worth, I believe him. There’s something else.”
“What?” I bring the glass to my lips.
“They’ve offered him a plea bargain.”
In one fluid motion, I suck down the whiskey. Every limb in my body feels like it’s being crushed. My neck tenses, my throat closes up, and I’m immobile. That motherfucker is going to get away with raping and kidnapping my wife.
“Turner! Do you hear me, brother?”
“I heard you. It sounded an awful lot like my dear brother is going to get off.”
I’m seething with the anger raging inside of me, this damn close to boiling over and erupting.
“That’s not what I said,” Zack says. “A plea bargain doesn’t mean he will get off. He still has to do time. If I had to guess, he’s looking at fifteen to twenty instead of life. Maybe more now with this new information we found out today.”
I can only imagine what my face is expressing right now, because Zack looks worried.
“Look, man. We need to him to help us find Tina. He’s our only hope. There’s nothing good about any of this. This whole thing is like some fucked up shit out of some crime drama television show brought to life, but his confession is the best thing for all of us right now.”
My gaze narrows, locking onto him.
“And how do you figure that? We’re all just supposed to say, ‘thank you for confessing to the violent crimes you committed, for nearly destroying our lives, for a nightmare we will never get over?’ I don’t think so.”
“Jesus, no! You’re only half listening to me, damn it. It means there will be no trial! It means Clove will never have to see him again.”
“I’ll never have to see who again?”
Clove walks out looking somewhat better than she did when she went in there. The both of us are now silent.
“Trent.” I say.
“Trent? What’s going on? Won’t I have to see him when he goes to trial?”
“No, sis. He confessed to everything, so he won’t be going to court. He gave up his right to a trial. The asshat even refused an attorney. He was willing to spend the rest of his life in prison... up until this morning, that is.”
She pulls back, looking at him sharply.
“What aren’t you telling me?” she demands in a raised voice.
Dr. Jollup walks around her and pulls out a chair.
“Clove, why don’t you take a seat?”
Clove shuffles her feet sluggishly across the floor. She still looks defeated. I’m scared for her. Scared that after she finds out what has happened, she is going to snap. She told me a few days ago she was broken and couldn’t be repaired. She may have felt that way at the time, but in a matter of a few days I have gotten back more than a glimpse of the old Clove. But this... this could push her over the edge, and I may never be able to get her back.
“Look at me, okay?”
I squat down next to her. If anyone is going to tell her this, it’s going to be me. I’m the one who is supposed to protect her, even if I have to protect her from herself, from the demons she has buried inside of her. From the way she thinks she has betrayed me.
“Tell me. You’re both starting to scare me. Is it your mother? Did something happen to her and that’s why you couldn’t get a hold of her earlier?”
Leave it to my girl to worry about my mother at a time like this.
“No, she’s fine as far as I know.”
“Well, what is it then?”
“Tina is missing.”
Clove’s head starts to shake back and forth.
“No. That’s impossible! Zack, you said she was being guarded. How could this happen?”
“I don’t know, Clove. She’s free to roam about the county. She was given very specific details of her bail. She was supposed to let her lawyer know when she left her house, which she didn’t. Her home is surrounded by reporters, and the FBI apparently lost her through the masses of them. I have no answers for you. I don’t. All I know is it’s going on twenty four hours now since anyone has seen or heard from her.”
My hands rest on her thighs. She turns my way when I give them a gentle squeeze.
“She would be a fool to try and find you, you know that right? You also know I would never let her do anything to hurt you anymore. She can’t get to you.”
“He’s right. My guess is she took off somewhere, disappeared because she knows she has to spend the rest of her miserable life behind bars,” Zack states matter-of-factly.
“Right,” is all she says back, then turns her attention back to him.
“Neither one of you knows her like I do. She’s coming after me, I can guarantee you that.”
She’s calm, more so than I expected her to be. I sneak a glance at Dr. Jollup, who has a small yet worried smile on her face. I want so badly to know what was said in that room. What could be making her sit here with such a tranquil aura about her? I lift my brows in question at Dr. Jollup, who shrugs.
What the hell?
“You see it only took me an hour to realize one thing,” she laughs nervously.
“I can’t control the actions of others, I can only control myself. Now I’m not saying I’m healed, or that I won’t have a breakdown, but one thing I realize now is that I have a little girl who needs both her mother and her father.”
She looks first at Zack, then at me.
“When I was locked up in that room, I lived every minute in fear, not knowing if Tina was going to come in and try to take her away, or kill me, or whatever the hell she had planned. But I’m free. I’m home with the man I love, and with my family, and I will stop at nothing to make sure neither one of them takes away my right to be a good mother and your wife.”
My smile is sincere this time. I don’t tell her about Trent and his plea bargain, and neither does Zack. But as we show our guests out and the sky begins to turn dark, something eats away at me about the way she was acting.
She’s faking it.