Chapter Twenty-Six
Trent
Since I’ve been in this hospital, with the exception of my mother, I haven’t listened or paid attention to a damn thing anyone in here has had to say to me. That is, until he came to see me. Every fucking thing he said is true. I’m already as good as dead and buried. My heart may be beating inside of my chest, but that’s all it’s doing.
I’ve hated myself and my life for as long as I can remember. That hatred has had power over everything I have done. It’s become my filter. The only thing I know. It’s engrained in me. I’ve been raised in it and I will die in it.
His words struck me deep when he spoke of Clove in his painfully familiar voice. He’s the lucky one, the blessed half. I don’t hate him for that. It took a hell of a lot of guts for him to come here today. It showed me how much he truly loves Clove. She’s where she belongs, and if I can do anything to make her live the life she’s supposed to live, to feel safe, protected from the madness of Tina, I will.
“You listening to us, Calloway?”
My head snaps up at the sound of my name.
“Yeah. I hear you.”
We all know I’m headed into a trap. That bitch wants me dead. Little does she know, she’s the one who’s going to die tonight, not me. I’m ready and eager to put a bullet clean through her head.
I’m doing it for so many reasons, but the main one is Clove. Turner was right earlier when he spoke about love. I do love her. I always will. I know I will never be able to see Clove again, see the way she looks into her daughter’s eyes. The way she would look all dreamy eyed when I would watch her, knowing she was either thinking of or remembering Turner.
Those looks will be forever engrained in my memory. That’s all I have left of her. The ugly, hateful looks I have tossed away, promising myself I will never think about them again. I will never be able to change the things I have done to hurt her, but the one thing I can give her is the chance to be able to live her life without fear; fear that somehow her vicious mother would find someone to finish the job. To take her daughter away from her, or even kill her whole family. I won’t let it happen. Even if I take my last breath tonight, I will make sure Tina takes hers first.
I rub my wrists when I am uncuffed. The soreness lingers and just like the pain in my shoulder and side, I welcome it. The blood starts pumping harder through my veins. Like a fucking junkie, I anticipate the adrenaline rush triggered. I’m ready to fucking go. Ready to attack like a goddamn rabid animal. I’m going to fucking kill this bitch and laugh while doing it.
“So now what?” I say as I spring up off the bed.
The only time I have out been of this bed is to shower and use the bathroom. At least in prison I will be able to walk around, have someone to talk to besides these assholes who don’t say shit.
“There’s a bag of clothes in the bathroom for you to change into, along with a bullet proof vest. Once you’re dressed, we wait for her call,” the D.A. says, never taking his eyes off of the computer in front of him.
I make my way to the bathroom, shut the door and hurriedly change, pulling the sling over my over my head as I go. Straightening out my arm, I flex, gasping when a shot of pain shoots down my arm.
“Fuck it!” I say out loud. I’ve had worse.
After I’m dressed I step out, glad to be rid of the hospital gown and ready to get the fuck out of here.
“How the hell am I supposed to get out of here? Just walk out the damn door?”
“Nah, man. I’m going to do this.”
Before I can react, Zack punches me swiftly in the gut, then delivers another blow to my right eye, sending me spiraling back onto the bed.
“Fuck!” I shout, my hand flying up to my face.
His arm comes up again only to be stopped by my doctor.
“That’s enough!” he says, Zack’s arm in his grip. Zack spits in my face, then pulls his arm away from the doctor and sticks his hand out to pull me up.
“Don’t fuck this up.”
We all freeze for an instant as the phone rings. The suits scramble to their listening devices and on the third ring they give me the nod to answer it. I pick it up, but this time it’s not Tina on the other end; it’s an unfamiliar male voice telling me I have ten minutes to get downstairs to where a dark blue van is waiting at the patient pick-up area.
“If you’re late, we know where Clove and her family are right now, and we will kill them all,” the voice threatens before abruptly hanging up.
And then everything happens so fucking fast I don’t know what the hell is going on. People are rushing out of the door. A black hood is thrown over my head. My hands are secured behind my back and I am being rushed out the door.
“What the hell?”
My heart starts hammering in my chest. I’m fighting to try and get away from whoever has a firm hold on me.
“Shut the hell up and fucking walk, asshole,” Zack hisses in my ear.
“Did you hear what he said? They will kill her if I don’t come out there.”
“Shut. Your. Mouth.” He enunciates every word.
He cranks my arm up farther onto my back. Shit, that hurts like a bitch. I hear the sound of an elevator ding and I am forcefully shoved inside. It feels like forever before the damn thing stops and opens. We press forward and the sounds of ‘Oh my God,’ and ‘What’s going on?’ swarm all around me.
I feel the warmth of the sun, the sound of cars and birds, and familiar outdoor noises as I am escorted out and shoved into what I assume is a van. The doors behind me close. My arms now free to whip off the mask, my angry eyes dart all around, only to find Zack and several FBI agents now in the van and a stranger tied up and gagged lying at my feet.
“Go,” the agent says.
“What in the mother fuck?”
Zack spins around from his seat in front of me.
“What? You really think we were just going to walk right out of here with all those reporters out front?”
“I don’t know what the hell to think.”
“I’ll tell you what to think. Start thinking of the way you’re going to get me my mother, because this strung out punk ass kid just told us where she was. The idiot made the call from a payphone in the hospital lobby.”
The young man lying at my feet looks up in fear, his eyes frantically scanning between Zack and me. A wave of relief washes over me. I toss the mask onto the floor.
“You couldn’t share this shit with me beforehand?”
“Had to make sure we could trust you,” The smug asshole chuckles, turning back around in his seat.
I lean my head back against the cool metal of the van, studying the beady-eyed kid cuffed with his hands between his legs, curled up on his side. I sniff the air. The fucker’s pissed himself. He’s scared shitless, and he should be. I bend over him, bringing my face mere inches from his.
“How old are you, kid? Eighteen, nineteen? Whatever the hell you’re on, trust me when I tell you that shit will fuck up your life. That high you’re feeling right now? I hope it’s worth it. I also hope it’s the last time you take that shit, because take a long, hard look buddy. Keep it up and you’ll end up like me, left with fucking nothing. It ain’t worth it.”
He stares up at me from the floor, so strung out I’m surprised he could even speak coherently when he called me.
A minute or so later, the doors of the van swing open and two other agents drag the kid out of the back as another agent climbs in. They slam the door shut and we take off out of the parking lot.
We get onto the highway and ride for about a half an hour before pulling off, driving for several more miles. Finally, the van turns down a dark, secluded road, then onto a beaten path tucked deep in the woods, reminding me of the home I grew up in. Just like that bitch to think she is going to end me in some piece of shit place like the one where my hell began. Not happening, sweetheart.
“You ready?”
Zack turns to face me. Something flashes across his face when he connects his eyes with mine. My eyes widen and my mouth lifts up in a devilish smirk. I nod, acknowledging that I have received his message loud and clear.
He doesn’t want me to lure Tina out. He doesn’t want her to spend the rest of her life in prison. He wants the same exact thing I do. He wants his mother to die.
A large house appears out of nowhere, dark except for one light on in the front. The lights go out on the van as we roll to a stop.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” the agent says to me as I hop out. I just lift my chin and slam the door shut, my boot clad feet crunching the gravel as I go.
I slowly climb the steps to the front door. It opens as soon as I set foot on the porch.
“Hello, Trent.”
Tina swings it wider, inviting me to step inside. I say nothing as I take in her appearance. She’s dressed in a black suit, her hair perfectly pulled up in a high ponytail. Her make-up fresh. Nothing out of place.
“I’m not here to make nice, Tina, and neither are you. We both know it, so let’s not play games.”
She raises on one of her perfectly manicured brows, the devious look still there.
“No. You’re right. I also know you didn’t come alone.”
I say nothing, my face impassive.
“I know everything, Trent. I know you love Clove, I know that every time you fucked me, you wished it was her,” she sneers. “I know all about the cameras you had set up. Watching her, getting yourself off, wishing you could have her. I know it all. The one thing I don’t know is why her and not me? We could have had it all, you and I. Everything! But you had to go and fall in love with my daughter. I can’t and won’t live with that. I loved you. I would have done anything for you, and you betrayed me.”
I laugh bitterly at the bullshit spewing out of her mouth, and shrug.
“You don’t love anyone but yourself. You’re a narcissist, Tina. A vain, fucking delusional woman who is obsessed with herself. You don’t know the meaning of love.”
I take a step closer to her, she takes a step back.
“And you do?” she scoffs, venom dripping from her voice.
“Actually, I do.” I take one more step closer. She takes one more step back. “Clove taught me.”
Now both brows shoot straight up to her hairline. Malevolent, high-pitched laughter tumbles from her poisonous lips.
“She doesn’t love you, you fucking fool.”
“Never said she did. In fact, she loves me about as much as I love you. Actually, I bet she probably hates me more than I hate you. But here’s the thing. She knows the true meaning of love. The way she loves her daughter; the way she loves her husband, her father, her brother. Clove is the definition of love, while you? You are the perfect definition of hate. Hate so deep and so goddamn dark, it has blackened your soul.”
“Fuck you!” she spits out.
“No thanks. You weren’t any good at it. Now your daughter, on the other hand...”
At that, Tina leaps at me, her sharp nails clawing at my face, stinging as she drags them across my cheek. I don’t even see the gun she pulled out of nowhere until it’s lodged firmly up against my chest. I grip hold of her wrist, pain scorching through my shoulder.
She fights, kicking at me like the madwoman she is. She’s no match for me or my determination to get this over with so that I never have to look at her again. I twist her arm behind her back and she cries out in pain, the gun dropping to the floor with a thud. She starts screaming for help.
“Scream, cunt! Fucking scream! There isn’t anyone out there who is willing to help you. Even your son. You remember him don’t you? The son you tried to destroy right along with your daughter by fucking trying to destroy her, break her? You are so fucking stupid. All your planning, all your bullshit lies, your deceit and the ultimate betrayal to your family… it stops right here, right now.”
I point to the sliding glass window where Zack stands, his shadow cast by the dim light inside the house.
“See that? He’s going to watch me fucking kill you. And you know what else? He’s going to walk away from here and fucking sleep so damn good tonight just like I will, knowing this world has been rid of you.”
“You... you won’t get away with this!” she protests, her voice shaking with fear.
“You won’t be around to see if I do.”
I push her forward and she stumbles. I grip her tighter and slam her face up against the glass. Her cheek lays flush against it.
“Look at him!” I scream. My other arm comes up and grips her chin, jerking her face until she has no choice. “Don’t you dare close your eyes, Tina! Take a good, hard look.”
She swallows. Her lips start to tremble. Zack steps forward, his stare lethal. He just stands there and stares at this sick creature. I nod once. I’m done. Her filthy stench is enough for me to finish this.
Unexpectedly her leg comes back, catching me off guard as she somehow manages to kick me in the knee. I stumble backwards only to regain myself as she scrambles onto the floor headed for the gun. My foot dangles over her hand just as she goes to grab it. I slam my foot down as hard as I can, and the crunching of broken bones echoes through the room as she lets out a bloodcurdling scream.
“It’s over.”
I kneel over her, pull her up by the lapels of her now wrinkled suit, and slam her up against the wall. I don’t care anymore about the deal I have made to bring her in. What I’m about to do is for Clove, for my brother, and for every other person I have wronged. This is my redemption, my peace of mind. The only way I will be able to forgive myself is by killing this fucking cunt. And so I do.
I wrap my hands around her throat and lift her in the air and squeeze. Her hands go to mine, grappling, desperately trying to get me to release her. I just tighten my grip even further, watching her eyes bulge, her lips quiver, her face turn red.
“How does it feel to be trapped with no way out? To feel the life being sucked right out of you? To know that at any moment, you are going to die?”
She slowly sags in defeat, her body shutting down, shaking uncontrollably. Her hands fall lifelessly to her sides, her body going slack, but I don’t stop. I don’t stop, until I feel a hand on my shoulder. Zack.
One by one, I pry my fingers from her crushed throat and her body drops to the floor. Zack cuffs me and marches me outside, where I breathe what I know will be one of my last breaths of fresh air for a long time. I don’t even look back.
This all started out as a game to me. A game in which I would have a life where I never had to worry about food, shelter, or how I was simply going to fucking survive from one day to the next. I never expected to fall in love with Clove. And yet I did. I didn’t lose that game. I won.
Now six months later, I lay here in my prison cell waiting for my monthly visit from my mother. I still dream of Clove every night, think about her every day. Turner was right when he said she is pure. She is. And now she is safe.
I pray that my brother can someday, somehow forgive me. It’s a prayer I know will never be answered. I hold on to the saying my mother always recites for me when she gets up to leave, whispering loud enough for only me to hear.
“Be unable to remember your past, son. Instead, love yourself. Then, and only then, will your life truly start.”