Chapter Twenty-Five
Turner
“How much more of this shit do you think you can take?” I ask, staring down my reflection in the mirror.
I look like fucking shit. Feel like shit. I’m trying to be strong, supportive and put the wellbeing and safety of my family first, but on the inside, I am waging my own personal war. It’s so unimaginably painful to listen to everything my wife has been through, like giving birth to her first child and not even being able to remember it. There’s just so much. Every goddamn day a new bomb is dropped in my lap and I’m just waiting for it to fucking explode.
And yet I hold it all in, because Christ, Clove would definitely break down if she knew I was about ready to lose it, and that is enough for me to keep up this act of being strong. That, plus the online conversations I have with my own psychiatrist.
Thank God Clove hasn’t asked me what I’m doing every damn time I hop off my computer. The last thing she needs right now is to know I’m this close to grabbing my gun, jumping in the car and going on a shooting spree. I dream about finding her mother on my own, killing the bitch, and then moving on to both Caleb and Trent.
My love for my family is bone-deep; they’re the greatest gifts I have ever been given. When Clove and I were apart we were two; when we’re together, we’re one. I care about her more than I do myself. Seeing small bits and pieces of how happy she was before all of this happened should be enough for me, but it’s not.
I didn’t tell Clove I forgave her just to make her feel good, or simply because it’s what people do. I have nothing to forgive her for. In some people’s eyes, Clove cheated on me. The question is, was it intentional, something she planned and wanted? I’ve known the answer to that question since the day I woke up in that hospital. She never did, and she never would.
Bottom line is, this is our marriage, our life, and no one else’s. It had to have been so goddamned hard for her to tell me the things she said last night. I couldn’t look at her when she spoke, afraid she was going to say out loud that she actually let another man touch her.
I replayed her exact words in my head as I laid in bed last night. She put it all out there in the most delicate way, as she always does when she has something to tell you that she knows is going to hurt, but she has to say it anyway. And here I acted like a motherfucking asshole. I should have captured her in my arms and told her I forgave her the minute she was done. I have no excuse. I can only be thankful that she forgave me as willingly as she did.
I drag my ass away from the mirror in the bathroom after shaving and wiping down the counter. My body is lacking sleep and is in sore need of a shower. I laugh as I pull my t-shirt over my head and the smell of baby vomit assaults my nose. I step into the shower and grab the shampoo to wash my hair when I think of yet another incident from today.
My mother and her visit with Trent. I meant what I said when I told her I don’t blame her for wanting to get to know him. I did ask her to never tell me about it, but then in the same sentence contradicted myself and thanked her for being honest and telling me about it.
I fucking hate him. I always will, but I love my mother and I never want to see the hurt or despair in her eyes again that I witnessed over the past year. If this makes her happy...
My thoughts are pleasantly interrupted when I see the silhouette of Clove setting the baby monitor on the counter. Her robe falls to the floor and then the door opens and she steps in with me. Fuck, she is so beautiful and just what I need right now. I need to be buried so deep inside of her, it’s painful.
“I hope we can hear her in here,” she says as she runs her hands up my chest.
“Sweetheart, you know that monitor is waterproof.”
Her nose scrunches up in this cute little way that reminds me of Journey.
“Oh. Well then let me grab it.”
She removes her hands and steps out, giving me the perfect view of her ass. My dick is rock hard. Fuck. Memories rush over me of the many times I have taken her in this same shower at our old house. She settles herself back in, placing the monitor on the seat behind us.
“Now, where was I?”
Her sultry voice shoots straight to my dick.
“About to let me make love to you up against this wall.”
I grab her hands and gently guide her back against the wall. Her eyes go wide when I press myself against her. Pushing her hair back out of her face, I lean in and bite on her ear, then slide my lips down her slick neck where I kiss and suck, then glide back up to her lobe. Her moans and the way she is pressing herself back into me make it damn hard for me to restrain myself.
I love taking my time with her, savoring her until we can hardly stand it anymore. The anticipation of knowing the way she will feel wrapped around me once I’m fully inside of her has me practically dropping to my damn knees right now. I lick the inside of her ear, moving down to her cheek then making my way to her wet lips. My hands go to her breasts, groping, palming them both in my hands.
“You feel so good in my hands. Tell me what you need. What do you want?” I ask her as my lips more over hers. She parts them to let me in.
“You. All I want is you,” she whispers as her tongue collides in the most teasing way with mine.
I want to kiss her everywhere my lips can touch. Have her beauty envelop me, sealed tight when I’m done. I break away from her plump lips, lick her in between her clavicle, on her breasts, her stomach, every fucking where I can find. None of them are hurried, every single one is magically placed. My brain cells are working like a fucking machine gun, constantly firing, especially when I kiss the inside of her thigh and she lets out the sexiest throaty whimper. My hands wrap around the backs of her legs to hold her steady as she wobbles.
I will never be able to get enough of her. She has always been so responsive to my touch, so vocal when we make love, screaming my name, clenching her pussy so damn hard on my dick when she comes I feel that sudden urge creep up the back of my spine and I come with her. My mouth continues to navigate along this body that I have dreamed about for the past year, made love to just a few days ago, and want again.
I could linger longer right here at the junction of her thighs. Her musky scent mixed with the steam in this bathroom has my dick aching. I need to be inside of her now. When I stand back up, my hands slide around to grip her ass, yanking her body into mine. Her chest is heaving, her pupils are dilated. I lift her up and her legs go around my waist, her back arching slightly as she tilts the lower half of her body away from the wall.
“I want you. All of you inside me. Now!” she yells.
I lift a brow and sink her onto me. We both cry out. Jesus, she’s my slice of heaven here on earth. She always has been, always will be. I thrust into her hard, rocking back and forth. The tips of her fingers dig into the back of my neck as she holds on. The one thing I love the most about making love to her is the way her eyes seem to never leave mine. And in this particular moment, I couldn’t take my eyes away from hers if I tried.
“I love you!” she screams.
This time I clamp my mouth over hers, afraid she will wake the baby, because I am not finished yet. I want one more orgasm out of her before I let myself go and I get it, swallowing her final loud cry as I release myself inside of her.
************
“I need to cut this mop off, it’s driving me crazy,” says Clove, putting a hand to the mass of wet hair piled on top of her head. She sighs. “I would love to get out of this house. I want to feel the sun beating down on my face. I want to see so many things through Journey’s eyes. Can’t we take a drive or something?”
She’s sitting in the middle of the bed, applying lotion to her long legs and looking longingly toward the dark window.
“Maybe we can get Zack to pick us up and take us to his house. She wouldn’t try to get to us there,” I tell her as I climb into bed. I take the lotion out of her hands and drag her up the bed. “We can call him in the morning. Right now I can hardly keep my eyes open.”
I flick off the light, check the baby monitor, and kiss her goodnight.
“I love you,” she murmurs against my lips.
“I love you, too.”
My head hits my pillow hard and I close my eyes, but sleep doesn’t come right away like I need it to. My thoughts drift back to what I was thinking about before Clove walked into the shower. My mother and Trent. For a very different reason of my own, I think it’s time I to find a way to visit my brother.
************
“You’re sure about this?” I ask, my voice ambivalent.
Zack says he has it all covered and we can head over to their house for the day. Krista and Bill are already there waiting for us. My mother will be there later.
“We got it, man. My house is secure. Just grab your shit and go. She needs this and so do you.”
His words are true. After being locked away for a year, Clove came home only to be confined to her own home.
“How’s it going with the other thing I asked about?” I ask.
“You can see him, but only if he agrees. We just have to find a way to get you to him without Clove finding out.”
“I’ll think of something. Just get me in there to see him. I need this,” I plead.
A few minutes later, our ride comes to pick us up.
“Martinez, you have no idea how much this means to me,” Clove calls out from the back seat of his truck as we pull out of our drive.
Her excitement should make me happy. My wife’s million-dollar smile beams on those lips, reaching all the way to her eyes. It’s a sight to behold. However, I am sitting in the front seat of this car my with my eyes glued to every house, every person walking on the sidewalk. I dissect every fucking one of them as if they were Tina dressed up in some disguise. I bounce my legs, checking the side mirror every minute the closer we get to their house.
I don’t know if it’s my over-protectiveness for my family or my nerves, but something doesn’t feel right. If Tina was able to find Trent and my father as easily as she did a few years ago, I know the bitch can find out where we live. She probably already knows and is waiting for an opportunity just like this so she can strike.
“Settle down over there. You’re starting to make me nervous,” Martinez half whispers to me, low enough for Clove not to hear.
I glance at her in the back seat and she isn’t even paying attention to us. Her eyes are glued to the scenery outside, soaking it all in. I turn back around, ignoring Martinez’ comment and hold my goddamn breath until we pull into their driveway. We’re immediately assaulted on all sides by cops as they help us out of the car and into the house.
“I have a surprise for you!” Krista exclaims in a singsong voice, snatching Journey right out of my hands.
“Bill,” I address my father-in-law.
“Mother. I didn’t think you were coming over until later?” I question her, bending down and giving her a kiss on her cheek. The two of them are sitting at the table. “I didn’t see your other car outside.”
“I wasn’t going to come over until later, but when Bill called and said he would pick me up, I couldn’t refuse. Besides, it gives me the whole day to spend with my little granddaughter.”
“Ah, the truth comes out,” I say, plastering on a fake smile.
Clove comes up and stands in front of me. I wrap my arms around her waist.
“What’s my surprise?”
“Lisa is here. I knew it was her day off so I called her and asked her if she would come over and do your hair. She brought all the stuff to highlight it, too!” Krista says excitedly.
Clove squeals. She actually fucking squeals. Me, I scowl. I love her hair long like this. I’m not about to tell her that, though. If it makes her happy to cut it all off, then so be it.
“I think I might be in heaven.”
She pulls away from me, turns around and gives me a chaste kiss.
“You’ll be in heaven once she has those highlights in your hair and your feet soaking for a pedicure,” Krista beams.
“God, yes I will!”
She turns back around to me, but then Krista pipes up again.
“Hey, Turner. Zack called right before you guys got here and said something about Martinez bringing you down to the station to play some basketball.”
And like an alarm going off it all registers in my head what her surprise is for me. I glance to Martinez who is leaning up against the fridge with his arms folded over his chest. He nods in understanding.
“That’s a great idea.” Clove brings her arms up around my neck. “Although I wish I could be there to watch you get all sweaty.”
Yeah, there goes my cock with her sensual words. I immediately think of my mother sitting two feet away from me and he deflates.
“You’re a naughty girl. Now get your ass in there and enjoy yourself.”
I swat her on her ass as she spins and starts to walk away.
“Don’t spoil her, you two.”
She kisses her dad and my mother and the baby and saunters off down the hall.
I stand there wondering if this is the right thing to do. I fucking hate deceiving everyone around me, but this is something I need to do.
“Come on, man. Let’s go so I can kick your ass.”
Martinez steps away from his spot. I still don’t move. I haven’t been away from the two of them since I walked into the hospital room a week ago. I run my hands down my face trying to convince myself they will be fine. This is a detective’s house, for God’s sake. Tina would be fucking crazy to try and do something here. The place has more security than the damn White House. Not to mention the fucking press at the end of the road, hoping to get a word in with someone. Thank Christ we ducked down when we approached this sub-division. Martinez’ truck is well known around these parts.
“Go. Have some fun. They’ll be fine,” Bill says, finally convincing me to leave.
“Tell her to call me if she needs me. We won’t be long.”
Pushing myself away from the counter, my arms reach out to snatch up my little princess for a minute. She laughs her perfect little heartwarming laugh when I kiss her belly. I go to hand her back but my mother jumps out of her seat to take her.
“You’re sure about this, dude?” Martinez asks as we pull down the street.
I nod, once. He sets his phone into the Bluetooth and taps the screen. Zack’s voice pipes through the speakers.
“We’ll be there in fifteen. Did he agree to see him?”
“With a little persuasion, yes, he did.”
“What kind of persuasion?” I ask in suspicion.
“Get this shit. You’ll only have about ten minutes to speak to the fucker before the entire fucking FBI is in his room, so whatever you have to say, say it quick.”
“What the fuck?” Martinez and I exclaim in unison.
“Look, I gotta go. Just meet me outside of his room. He’s in three eighteen.”
The line goes dead. Something big is about to go down, I can fucking feel it. I look around the front of the hospital. Shit, how many damn reporters are there? Those people are everywhere.
“What the hell is going on?” I say out loud to no one in particular.
When we pull into the staff only parking lot a sense of relief washes over me.
“They’re just doing their job like everyone else. Doesn’t make ours any easier though, that’s for damn sure.”
Martinez pulls into a parking spot. We climb out and head into a private entrance. My palms start sweating the farther into the hospital we go, and I rub them on my shorts several times, but by the time we reach the third floor, my nerves are gone and my anger kicks in.
Zack approaches the minute I approach the door, a smile of unholy glee spread across his face. An agent searches me, pulling everything out of my pockets. He even makes me take off my shoes, which I find strange, but what the fuck ever.
“What’s that look for, Zack? What the hell is going on?” asks Martinez.
“Tina called.”
He nods at someone over my shoulder. I angle my head to see two agents all dressed in black, their guns protruding through the material of their jackets.
“Fuck me! What the hell did she say?” I growl at him.
“She wants him to break out of here.”
“You have got to be shitting me! She shot him and left him for dead, and now she thinks he’s going to walk out of here willingly and go to her? I mean, seriously. It’s got to be a trap, man.”
I look between the two of them, debating and waiting for one of them to say something. I am so amped up, ready for a fight. The urge to grab one their guns and drill a hole clean through Trent’s skull has my fingers twitching to go ahead and do it before Tina does. Then I hear the sweet sound of my daughter’s laughter calling out to me, and the urge dissipates.
“We know it’s a trap. She’s not stupid; she doesn’t want to go down for this shit on her own, but Trent is determined to do it. I don’t think he really cares if he lives or dies.”
Zack appears to be moved or some shit by Trent’s willingness to sacrifice himself. Fuck that.
“Just get this shit done. Have him find that cunt so my family and I can fucking live.”
************
“I wondered how long it would be before you showed up here.”
His face is turned away from me. I stiffen slightly, my patience already gone. I don’t want to hear a fucking word come out of his mouth. I want him to listen and suffer for the rest of his pitiful life.
“My intentions were to choke the life out of you slowly just like you tried to do to my wife.”
He flinches and shifts his hardened gaze my way.
Fucking Christ. I’m looking at the spitting image of myself all over again.
I stand at the foot of his bed, clenching my hands around the frame. I force myself to keep them there, knowing what I have to say to him will bleed him dry more than anything else I could do to him.
“Is she all right?”
My head snaps up.
“She is not, and never was, any of your concern. She’s mine. She always has been.”
“You’re right, she is,” he says emotionlessly.
“She hates you and you love her. How does that make you feel, brother?” I prod.
“She should hate me. I can guarantee you she doesn’t hate me as much as I hate myself.”
My eyes widen at his confession. I don’t give a shit. I still dig on.
“Hell is too good for you, but wherever you end up, I hope you suffer eternally. There will be no penance for what you have done.”
I stare at him hard, frustrated at his lack of response.
“You could have had it all, man. All you would have had to do was knock on my door and you could have had it all, but instead you stalked my wife, me, and my entire family over money, money you will never have. Left me for dead and then helped drug and hold her hostage for a year. Do you know how fucked up that shit is? How deranged?”
His eyes constrict sharply at my callousness.
“Instead, you fucked my wife. Tried to make her fall in love with you. How did it feel every time you fucked her knowing it was me she was thinking about? Every time you were buried deep inside her it was my cock she was wishing for, dreaming about. Every orgasm was mine! Every kiss was mine. Her entire world is me, motherfucker!” I roar.
“Let me tell you what it must have felt like. It must have felt damn good to be inside a woman like her. Sweet and innocent and so damn pure. She feels like heaven, doesn’t she? You never want to come out. Her beauty is like a circle of light that surrounds her entire existence. You can’t help but to be totally consumed in her. To want to see her smile, to hear her scream your name when she comes. She never once screamed your name, though, did she? Not one fucking time did my wife want you, and that right there is what you will have to live with. The fact that the woman you love despises your very existence.”
The door opens and in walks Zack along with several other men dressed in black suits, briefcases and computers in their hands. Zack grips my shoulder.
“You done?”
“I’m done.”
I give Trent one last glance, and like the coward he is, he already has his face turned away from me, staring flatly outside the window.
We turn to leave but Trent speaks, silencing everyone in the room.
“Wait.”