CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

TYSON

“Tell me, Tyson. You’re scaring me. I’m tired of being scared, so just say it,” she urges.

Lynne stares back at me intensely. She knows that whatever is eating away at me is ripping my gut out. It’s killing me in ways I can’t come up with the right way to deliver this news. I wait, my pulse tapping away at my brain, every bang slamming down harder until it’s rapping so hard I do everything in my power to block up, to smash it away with a hard blast of my own.

To hell with it. I need to let it rip. Spill it and take care of her if she needs me to.

“After your sisters left here last week, I asked Jude to look into something for me. Don’t ask me why the thought ran through my mind; it just did. Lynne, Richard isn’t your biological father. Your mother had an affair. In fact, I found out who your real father is.”

Fifteen minutes ago, I was sitting here talking to Jude. My anger at Lynne lashing out at me gone. Honestly, I was never mad at her. How the hell could I be when both of us are standing in the same anger-filled shoes?

And now, as I stare into eyes turning a steely green, the heated anger is begging Lynne to let go. I’m not afraid that what we found out wasn’t the right thing to do. It was, and God help her. Once this news settles in, she needs to plow right through the hurt wanting to consume her and let anger manage this. See it for what it is. It’s a miracle.

Everything she wondered about her being so different from him is right. She is not Richard’s child.

“It’s about damn time she blew up. She needs to do it more often. I’d rather she took her anger out on someone other than me. Preferably, her fucked-up, dysfunctional family. The problem is, I get why she did. Unlike her, though, I’m not sitting around waiting any longer. If the state doesn’t bust their ass to get them into a permanent home, then I’ll do it for them. I’ll be damned if I’ll allow anyone to make decisions for her or for me again. Jacob and Joshua want us there, Jude.” I glance up at Jude facing me. His back is blocking the sun from hitting my eyes.

I had to walk out before I told her what’s been eating me alive out of my own frustration. Ran down the beach a ways and caught Jude on a run with his dogs. Now, here I sit envisioning Lynne pounding the hell out of her mother, while I do the same with her father. Childish, but I’d be lying to myself if the idea hasn’t crossed my mind. A lot.

“I know, brother. I swear I’m putting as much pressure on the caseworker who helped me with Theo as I can. It has to be her father stalling. She sure has had her string of bad luck, though. This information is going to bring it all to an end. What we did is not only the best for her; it’s the right thing for those kids, too. It gives her another wage to stake. A bigger one.”

“I know you are. Couldn’t thank you more for it. That right there, though, is what’s pissing me off more than anything. The mere fact that he has a say in this at all is so far out of whack I can see why people bitch about the system. Lynne needs to learn the odds. How to place her bet in her favor. I wish like hell I didn’t have to say this, but man, Lynne and I are going to have to go see those dirty, leeching humans. Not sure if I can stomach being that close to either one of them and not want to choke all their lies and deceit out of them. The big problem I’m having here is, there’s no guarantee she’s going to win, Jude. Richard could laugh in her face. I mean, shit, look at what this means. She has no legal ground to stand on when it comes to them anymore. Her highest card is her mother, and we all know Ellen hasn’t used her ace she’s been hiding for over thirty years. I don’t fucking get these people. Hell, why would Richard raise another kid that wasn’t his? Why would they all want to live in misery? This is fucked up. It makes no sense, and I can’t make heads or tails of any of it.”

“It’s greed for their reputation, Tyson. All of this simmers down to it. Here she comes. You two will figure it out. I’m heading in to take a shower. I’ll catch you later, yeah?” He pats my shoulder, gathers up his dogs, and leaves me to my own thoughts.

I’d breezed through the last couple of days with work. Placing what we learned in check. Sorting my shit out and solely focusing on Lynne until I couldn’t do it anymore.

The first thing I did once Jude confirmed my suspicions was head right to my captain, filled him in on what was going on and again asked for some time off. He didn’t tell me to come back with my head pulled out of my ass the way he did when I told him I needed to get out of town when Lynne walked back into my life. He told me to fix the shit. That my track record spoke volumes at work and my loyalty to her showed him the man inside of me I kept hidden for years. A good man. Made me feel as if I’d been a walking son of a bitch toward everyone. I suppose I was. I sure as fuck didn’t truly care about my own damn self, so caring about everyone else around me didn’t mean shit to me, either.

But he, like Riddick and Jude, Dane, and Dominic, has proven to me that seeing a person underneath is worth sticking around for. That somewhere behind my dark mask lies a better man. A man who will have a person’s back no matter the outcome.

I went back to my apartment. Worked from there and dug up the courage to call a man I never knew existed. I waited for hours for him to call me back, and when he did, I dropped a bomb on him. Not once caring if it exploded. All I cared about was finding a way to move this forward for her. To be able to give her peace.

It seemed insulting as fuck when we learned who he was, what he used to do for a living, and how he never owned up to being her father. I wanted to slice his tongue out of his mouth and shove it up his bullshitting ass, up till he told me his story, flinging my shit right back at me.

He never fucking knew. And I loathed her mother more for not doing right by her daughter. For leaving me to be the one to tell him he had a daughter. Doesn’t mean a thing that she has yet to find out I know. But she will. Soon. And I’m going to watch her drown in her scum-filled pond as I brush her and her family out of Lynne’s life forever.

At first, I didn’t believe him. I figured he would deny it. Hide behind himself the same way her mother has been doing. But nope, not a chance in hell. He’s a man who isn’t afraid to uncheck his man card. To cry over the phone to a complete stranger and thank him for being man enough to tell him something he had a right to know.

Retired NYPD Police Sergeant Matthew Sauder. College roommate to none other than Richard Chapman. A best friend who slipped one night and slept with Lynne’s mother.

He claimed he was in town visiting and back then Ellen was kind, gentle, and a total sweetheart. I’ll never be a believer of it; it’s irrelevant at this point. They were sitting around drinking while waiting for Richard to come home. Things got heated, she advanced on him, and he fucked her. That one night resulted in Lynne.

And fuck all if I’m not sitting here after dumping a life-changing collision that could change the course of Lynne’s dream in any direction.

That bitch is clever. Even more so than her husband. This could fuck shit up, or it could calm it down.

“I’m not sure if I need to sit here and regroup myself, ask you a million questions, or finally turn into a bitch on wheels and kill them for keeping this from me. Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind that she could have done something to taint her reputation this way. It all makes perfect sense. Richard knows I’m not his. This is why he’s treated me as if I’m beneath his shoe and when I became sick, he took that as his sign to pay me back for being born. Oh, God, I feel sick. She… my mother went along with it. How could she do such a thing? I thought I hated them before, but that was nothing compared to what I feel for them now. This explains everything, Tyson.” I’m doing my best to put up a calm front for her. To let this sink in when all I want to do is start shooting people and relieving her pain from them existing to be able to hurt her anymore. Every last one of them should be swept off this earth. Fall to hell and suffer.

“You have every right to be angry, but don’t you dare give them the satisfaction of making yourself ill. They don’t deserve anything from you, except to bury them alive with their own deception.” The color that started to drain from her face returns; it contorts into a red ball of fury. I’m hoping she becomes so angry at them that she bursts from it. That she pulls their holy rug from under them and when she’s ready allows her newfound DNA running through her blood to help.

She closes her eyes, takes several deep breaths, and squeezes my hand tighter. “Who is he?” she asks. The raw hurt in her tone pisses me the fuck off, and yet for the time being it’s calming down the maniac in me, too.

I’ve never met this man, but I’ll be damned if he didn’t get on the first plane he could to prove to me his loyalty to a child he never knew was his.

“Before I tell you, you need to know he didn’t know you were his.”

“Well, I would hope not. I really don’t think I could handle knowing there was someone out there who knew I was their child and didn’t step up. It would make him just like Richard. You talk as if I know him. Do I?” Her brows furrow, forehead wrinkles in that way we all do when we’re trying to figure something out.

“Exactly, and he’s not. At least I don’t believe he is.” I need to tell her I know who he is and so does she before she goes completely mad, giving her the chance to freak the hell out about what this could mean for her and Joshua and Jacob. This is the part that angers me the most. I can’t protect her from this. It’s not my right to do so. Only he can. It’s his story. Her story. And fuck, I pray that he stands by her side. Holds her hand and gives her the one thing in life she’s always wanted. To be loved by a parent.

“It’s me.” I take hold of her upper arm when her body locks up, the muscles beneath my grip tense and constrict. I can’t help but shift my head, angling it enough to be able to glare at him standing behind us.

“Couldn’t wait any longer to take a look at my daughter in a way a father should.” He shrugs, gives me a look that tells me he doesn’t give a fuck what I told him to do. I asked him to wait for me to tell her. To give Lynne the chance to come to him if she wanted. Guess I pegged this man for the true guy he is. He’s not going to deny himself any longer to stand by his daughter’s side. To help her fight.

“Holy shit. Matthew? He’s my father?” She still hasn’t looked at him. Her gaze is trained on me to confirm it.

“Yeah, baby, he is. We can run blood tests to prove it if you want.” I release my hold on her arm, slide it up her neck to run my thumb back and forth across her trembling bottom lip. “Don’t cry. Take your time. This is a good thing for you. You have someone who loves you unconditionally, Lynne. Breathe, okay?”

I stay rooted to my spot and witness this incredible woman who has been through hell her entire life slowly push herself up. Deep breaths escape her mouth. Her focus trained on the ocean. One would assume at a time such as this that tension would fill the air, that dark clouds would form up above, and a storm would drop pounding rain, pelting hail, and thunder would roll across her tormented features. I see none of that. What I do see is a bright beacon of light, a ghost of a smile as the perceptiveness of what this means to her strikes a shocking surge of lightning.

“Lynne.” Matthew slowly moves forward; she closes her eyes as her chest rises and falls.

Slowly. So damn slowly, she braces herself, turns around, and opens them. No tears, no pain. Not more unforgiving conceptions burn in the beauty that has always surrounded her. I’m invading on an intimate moment. I’ll be damned if I’ll go, or If I’ll leave fate to allow me to miss this cherished memory of her life.

“My God, Matthew. I can’t believe this. You’re here.”

“Of course, I am. I came as soon as I could. It’s been a long time, sweetheart. You look wonderful. More beautiful than you were the last time I saw you.” She studies him, her lips parting as if she wants to say something. Ask him questions. Feel him out. I don’t know.

“Do you remember when I would come to visit? How I would always bring you girls a gift?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. No matter how much I want to stay here in case she falls apart, I can’t. She’s safe. She’s loved. And as I stand up to leave, I see his hand open wide. His eyes remain focused on her.

“You always asked me to bring you one of these. A Statue of Liberty eraser. I’m going to help you erase your past with this. And we’re going to sketch the life you deserve with this.” He opens up his other hand, which holds a pencil.

I hear her gasp as I begin to walk away. I’m unmanned. I’m undone. And I couldn’t give a fuck if the wetness forming in my eyes portrays me as weak. Real men cry. They wear just as many emotions on their sleeves as everyone else.

***

“Fucking hell,” I roar, peering over the edge of Riddick’s roof. A bottle of water in my hand, a cigar in the other.

When my shitty life would sucker-punch me in the gut over and over until I could barely breathe, I always went for the bottle. The hard stuff to disorient my conscious mind. To deliver the evil that enlarged my veins enough to burst into a state of unconsciousness. Not today, though. Not ever again. I won’t do a damn thing to jeopardize Lynne getting those kids. I only hope the confidence I have in myself, the faith I have in my brothers, their women, and my extended family that are all watching Lynne and Matthew stroll back into our view from being gone for hours was the right thing to do. I only need her.

Their shadows are encroached by darkness. And yet I know it’s them. I feel her presence coming back to me with every step they take.

“Dude, maybe you should stay up here and let me go check on her.”

“Shut up, Jude.” I chuckle lightly over the nonsense spewing out of his mouth. It’s similar to what I told him when Vivian came back. Only I’m not staying up here. I’m going to my girl.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he says to my retreating back as I throw my empty bottle at him and descend the stairs. All of their laughter trickling away behind me.

“Are you alright?” I place my palms on her cheeks, looking closely into her bright green eyes. It seems like forever ago when the same reflection stared back at me the night I asked her to marry me. Bright as a star. Her eyes, her lips, and her spirit shine the same way. All at once. I tug her into me. Having no idea how I made it through thirteen years without worrying to death over her. She’s been in a safety net for two hours, and I’ve gone out of my mind.

“Tyson. I’d like you to meet my dad.”