CHAPTER TEN

LYNNE

“How long have you known?” he huffs out in frustration. My eyes fill with tears, and I stare straight out the window with a deep ache in my chest. A whirlwind of turmoil swirling inside of me. My inability to form words leaves me breathless. This man isn’t going to give up when it comes to burning my father’s bridges to the ground. This is one he has to leave alone. I simply won’t allow it.

“Five years,” I lead, catching my breath and wondering if I should carry on or wait the couple of minutes or so it will take to get to my home.

I haven’t told anyone but Maggie about this. My intentions were to tell him everything tonight. He’s beaten me to it. How true it is that Tyson and I seem to be on the same wave of destroying my father? Except I have others to protect. I hope he can see that. Understand everything I’m about to tell him.

“And you know where they are?” His voice rises an octave. He’s angry.

“I do.” My resolve starts slipping. A tear falls from the corner of each eye and travels slowly down the cheeks of my face. One each for the two little boys I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with.

Except for today, when my mother was digging around, every thrashing hint I’ve threatened my parents with lately they seem to tune out. Except for today, when my mother came digging. They seem to think they’re invincible. I suppose to people like them, they really believe they are. It’s obvious that every time I’ve threatened, they’ve assumed I’ve been talking about my father’s affairs. A part of me has. But there’s a bigger part, the one that led to the birth of my two innocent half-brothers who would not be where they are today if it weren’t for the pawning, scheming blackmail that eventually consumed their birth mother’s guilt until she took her own life. On behalf of that part, there isn’t a chance in hell I will sit back and allow them to live a life without me. My goal is to protect those boys from anyone.

“How much do you know? Do you know that my father did nothing to acknowledge he had two children left without a mother? And that he covered his tracks well in the eyes of the law by making sure his name wasn’t on their birth certificate, hid them away, and paid her off to keep her mouth shut until she couldn’t take it anymore? She killed herself, Tyson. I blame him for her death. He may as well have poured those pills down her throat himself. I have never been so ashamed to be a man’s daughter in all my life. My mother, too. I’ll bet my life on it she knows. Those two have created their own Hollywood movie. If I weren’t living it, I wouldn’t believe it.”

“I know everything about her death. What I don’t know is how you could hold this in for so long. Jesus, Lynne. I’ve been beating my head in for two days trying to come up with a way to tell you, and you’ve known the entire time.” I don’t miss the angered edge in his tone. It’s not aimed at me. It’s directed at my father. His disregard. His capability of proving the type of man he truly is.

“I was planning on telling you tonight. I felt we needed closure to our own issues first.” Tyson starts his truck, pulls out of the lot, and drives in silence. I glance from the road ahead to the caring man next to me. The muscles in his jaw are ticking and flexing as he presumably contemplates all of this information inside his head.

If he found out about them, then surely he knows where they are. Just when I strum up the words to put his mind at ease, we pull down my street, slide into my driveway, and maneuver out of his truck and into my house. In quietness. I need to know what he’s thinking. How he feels. He needs to hear my plans. What I feel is right for those boys before he blows his top and this escalates any further.

“I didn’t know they were being moved to a new family here until after I found you. I love them, Tyson. I want them, but I’ve been frightened to fight against my father. That is”—I say, plucking the folder out of his hand and tossing it on the cushion of one of my chairs. I don’t need it. I’m very well acquainted with the lives of Jacob and Joshua Long. Born on Christmas Day in 2008 to one Lori Long. There’s more. So much more to reveal about them. It needs to be said aloud. Right now, my focus is the man standing right in front of me. His eyes are showing an unreadable expression—“until you convinced me I can accomplish anything on my own.” I hold my breath. Tyson and I, we are so incredibly raw. I know better than anyone how life can change on a whim, how you become so caught up in certain situations that before you know what’s happening, you’re spiraling out of control. Spinning. I don’t want him to think he has to play a part in this at all.

“I’m not sure if I want to kiss the ever-loving fuck out of you or drag your ass over to your couch and spank it.” I smile wide out of confusion and lust. A spanking sounds tempting, but I’m not ready for that. Not tonight anyway.

I sigh in submission and will myself to step closer, arms circling around his neck, fingers tangling in the thick hair at the nape. He kissed me earlier. I want him to do it again. All night if he wants. He felt so good, so tempting, and I loved the way he took control of it and surrendered at the same time. One touch, one kiss is all it took to reassure us both that nothing is going to separate us again.

Tyson needs to understand how important these kids are to me, too, and the plans I’ve thought about setting in motion but always seemed to be stuck in the starting position. Unable to move out of fear. I’m not scared anymore. Tyson convinced me in a matter of hours that I’m strong enough to do anything. It’s the courage I crave to tell him more. To pick his brain, dump the loaded question on him. The same one I’ve been asking myself for years, and with each passing day, I have yet to make the decision to answer it.

“I’ll take the kiss,” I confess, my voice dripping with the thirst-filled wish only he can possess out of me.

Torture spikes my nerves; patience tempts my heart as Tyson slowly lowers his mouth to mine. Every inch feeling like an eternity. His hands press gently in the back of my hair, rough, calloused fingers yank out of nowhere, and he smirks ever so slightly before his mouth takes hold of mine in a kiss that pushes the air out of my lungs. It steals away the first kiss we shared; it’s better than the one from minutes ago. It triumphs over them all. We move close, and we fall apart. Our mouths fused together, they circuit, they combust, and my bones rattle inside my chest. I want to pull away before I lose myself in him. Before this gets carried away. I can’t seem to, though; he’s seducing my mind with every swipe of his tongue, every brush that lights up my universe and swallows me whole.

“Fuck, woman,” he rasps against my tender lips. “You are so full of shit if you honestly believe you are not capable of being strong. I don’t think you see the person you are, Lynne. I understand why you haven’t exposed your father. The way your face lit up when you told me you wanted those boys was an image I’ll never forget. Jesus. Here I thought this news was going to break your heart and instead, you’ve stunned me. Every word you utter defines the woman you are. So unforgettable. You not only came here for me, but you also came here for those boys. Don’t you see where all of this is going? The things we talked about the other night. You amaze me.” He looks down at me as if I matter. As if all the words jumbled up in my head, all the ache filling my heart for those boys who are now in a well-rounded home stabilized and secure could be mine.

“If you met them, you would understand so much more. They may have lost their mother, but they are nothing like my father. As far as I know, he’s never even met them. They are such good little boys. I see them as much as I can. They have no idea I’m their sister. I don’t want them to know. Not yet. I can’t bring disruption to their lives like that.”

“Goddamn, Lynne. You can’t keep something as important as this from them. If they were to find out…”

“I know, alright? I’ve thought about it all. Every little question, every big challenge. I’ve thought about it. I’ve made myself sick over it. I’ve done it all, Tyson. The one thing I haven’t done is tell them. Not until they become mine and are old enough to understand.” I step away from him. Not because I want to. It’s because we went from kissing to disagreeing in a blink of an eye.

“Does your father know that you know?” Tyson’s hard stare nearly wobbles me. I feel my legs go weak while the rest of my body strings up taut.

“No. I found out by accident. I went to make a copy of some papers for school in his office. He left his computer open; it was right there for me to see. All of it. Photos, the mother’s death certificate. I made my copies and left. Went to my room and booked the first flight home I could find. I had to think, investigate, and do it when I was alone. I’ve never told him or my mother. Although, I think they may suspect. Why?” His jaw clenches tight. I can see his pulse throbbing in his neck.

“I paid your father a visit today.” I cringe. Feel my knees begin to shake. I move to the couch and sit. Afraid I’ll say the wrong thing if I’m close to him. He wants to use this against him. I knew it. This will surely end my dream of ever becoming a mother.

“I was going to ask you not to investigate him. I wish you would have come to me. This could ruin everything. You don’t know my father the way I do. He’s going to come here, and he’ll try to work me over to see if I know. My mother came to visit me today. She was all over my ass about you. I finally told her to fuck off. That I never wanted anything to do with them again. And now this. If he has one inkling in his mind that I want those kids, he’ll do everything in his power to send them where I won’t be able to find them.” I glance up at him. He looks so handsome. So sure of himself, with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyebrows lifted. He’s pissed. Well, good. So am I.

On top of the fact I’m a complete idiot for dreaming I could somehow keep this a secret from my family until I asked Tyson my question of helping me find an attorney of my own. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid to go up against my father if they had to.

“I would never hurt those innocent kids. I should have talked to you first. But I’ll be Goddamned if I’m going to shove my foot up my ass, stand by and watch your parents interfere in our business again. They can go fuck themselves to death. I don’t give a shit. I’m not the one you should be pissed off at, and you damn well know it. Fight the son of a bitch if you have to. He isn’t above the law. No one is. You have me in your corner now. Jude, Tyson, Dane. Hell, even the girls. There isn’t a chance in hell that son of a bitch will come after you. I’ll publicly string him by his balls before I let him hurt you again.”

“Don’t you understand what I’m trying to say? I’m done with lies. Done with seeing people get hurt. Those boys will be in the middle of this.”

“Do you want those kids or not?”

“Of course, I do. They mean everything to me.”

“Then you fight, Goddamn it. If any of what you just said happens, then you show them the type of woman you really are. You show them that you can be exactly the type of person they wanted you to be. Ruthless and conniving. Powerful. You stand up for what you want, and you fight for them. Don’t back down this time. Don’t let your family have power over you anymore. You said you were done with them, then you prove it.”

I picture my father spattering lies out of his mouth. Tossing me around like the scared little girl he assumes me to be. I know he’ll come knocking on my door sooner than later. He’ll create havoc, turn my life upside down in order to get me to cave the same way I did years ago. Except now he has another reason to gash open my scars. Two beautiful, innocent reasons.

“I don’t want to fight with you over this. I’ve been jumping over hurdles for years to avoid conflict with him. All I’ve done was pretend to care about all of them. I’m not afraid of him anymore. What I am afraid of is that the hatred he has for you is stronger than his love for anything. He’ll lie his bloodthirsty head off to seek revenge on you. He has the money, the power to claim he didn’t know about them. He would take them in out of spite to hurt you.” Every inch of me craves Tyson. God, how I wish we were a normal couple going through a happy time in our lives adopting these boys. The hypocrisy of the man my father is strikes me dumb right here and now. Tyson’s words slice through me once again. I can pretend all over again. Demonstrate that I’m truly their daughter.

“I wouldn’t call this a fight. It’s a discussion. A civilized conversation. One that needed to be hashed out,” he informs.

Finally, he moves from his dominating stance by the door to sit next to me. He doesn’t bring me in his arms or cocoon me the way he did the other night. I feel the heat from his body, though. It seeps into my pores. It was always that way when we were close to each other. As if we sponged off of one another to stay warm. Both of us hating to go back to our cold, gloomy homes when all we wanted to do was cling to each other. He doesn’t need to coddle me over this. In my own weaknesses, I’ve found my strength. I’m capable of doing it all if I put my mind to it. I’ve shown it before, and I can attest to it.

“You’re right. About all of it. They’ve taught me many things. All of them I ignored at the time. I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me. This is something I can do on my own.”

“You can. But you’re not going to. I learned something over the years, Lynne. I know what family means. My friends are my family. I’ve walked through hell with them. Seen and done shit that would make the devil cringe. Don’t expect any of us to stand back and watch you do this alone. We don’t work that way. We stick together and fuck shit up. We have luck on our side this time. Did you know Jude’s in the process of adopting Theo? He was a foster kid.”

“Really? I didn’t. I never gave it much thought except to think he had him young. Do you think he’ll help me?” I replace my repulsiveness for my father with a laugh. Just discussing this with Tyson makes my heart feel lighter, my poison-filled brain flushing the last remaining bits and pieces out of my system.

“I know he fucking will,” he bites out as if I’ve asked him the dumbest question he’s ever heard.

“We’ll talk to him about it. By the way, Vivian and Cora stopped by the other day to apologize for their behavior toward me. I told them how happy it made me to see how much they cared about you. I agree with you about family. I feel the same way about Maggie. She knows everything. Do your friends know about the boys?” I ask courageously. My head is spinning crazily with all of this heartfelt news.

“Yes. I had Jude dig around, then another one of my friends, Dane, broke into your father’s office to see if he could find proof. It’s all in the file. The guys have our back, Lynne. I promise you they do.”

“I suppose this is one of those you-have-my-back-and-I-have-yours type of things. Thank you. This isn’t going to be easy. I need a lawyer,” I say with a slight smile and a delicate edge to my voice.

“No, it isn’t. You’re not alone, though, remember that. I’ve got a lawyer. He’ll be more than happy to help you.” I sigh, lean into his warm body, and welcome the strange feeling of not being alone. It’s one of the greatest feelings in the world. That, plus being in his arms.

“Just so you know, I didn’t ask Cora and Vivian to come see you; they did that all on their own.”