“How was it?” Kaiya comes through the front door with her arms full. A garment bag is draped over one arm, and her purse is slung over her shoulder. She drops it all inside the door and moves towards me, sitting on the couch.

“It was fine. How was the wedding?” I change the subject and take a sip of wine. My nerves are on edge, they have been since the moment Kaiya told me about the date. But after meeting Sebastian and seeing a part of life I’m missing out on, it has me confused and a little depressed.

“Fine. Just fine.” She sits down beside me on the couch and takes the wine glass from my hand, before taking a sip. “Ugh, for my twin your taste in alcohol sucks.”

“And yet knowing that you grab my glass,” I reach out and snatch it back from her, “Your crap is in the fridge.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it, and you need to answer my original question… How was it?”

I lean into my mirror image; we are so much alike and so different at the same time. Two opposites who seemed to be half of a whole. Where my sister is strong, I feel like I’m weak. Kaiya is life and vitality where I feel fragile and inadequate.

“Parasailing was a lot of fun after I got over my fear of falling out of the sky. I’d definitely go again.” I shot back the last of my wine and grabbed the bottle off the table.

“That’s great. And we are drinking heavily because…” Her sentence trails off as she waits for me to fill in the blanks on my date.

“Because…. before, I had no idea how empty my life was. Now, I have an idea what I’m missing, and it’s terrifying.” I lift my glass and take another long sip. Getting drunk will help dull the spark of desire he has ignited in me. Hopefully, it’ll also fill the sudden sense of loss I feel.

“I know it doesn’t feel like it Jai, but that’s actually a good thing.”

I stand up and set my glass on the table. Kaiya watches as I pace in front of the fireplace. “How? How is it a good thing? I’m more depressed now than I was before. At least before, I didn’t know what was going on.” I feel pathetic and worthless leaning on my sister again for emotional support.

“So, what are you going to do?” She asks me, pulling me from my dark thoughts.

“I think I’m going to get a tattoo.” It’s crazy. I ‘ve no way of knowing if Sebastian wants me for more than just a night. He doesn’t seem the type to settle down. Or be a one-woman kind of guy. I’m not a risk it all, take a chance, or a one night only type of girl. Am I?

“What tattoo are you going to get?” Kaiya asks with a knowing smile on her face.

“I’m not sure yet. Want to help me decide?”

“Let me get a beer first.” She says, while I sit back on the couch and start searching for my first tattoo.

“Maybe we should get matching tattoos,” I say as we are scrolling through images.

“I think you need to do this one on your own, but if you want to get another one, later on, count me in.”

We sit scrolling through different ideas for tattoos. It is past midnight when I give up the search. I’m not sure I’d be happy with whatever I choose. “What if I got a piercing instead of a tattoo?”

Kaiya just laughs, “Careful Jai. Your commitment issues are showing.”

“You hide yours better.” We’re tipsy and relaxed when Kaiya’s phone starts ringing. She gets up to answer her phone.

“Night Kaiya. I’m going to bed.” I say while getting up and grabbing our drinks off the table to throw them away, “Drunk is definitely not the time to pick out a tattoo.”

“Night, Jai.” She says before answering her phone and disappearing into her room.