Katie
The doctor said it was a miracle Levi survived.
“He has a fighter’s instincts, that’s for certain,” the emergency room attendee huffed with disbelief. His head shook in wonder. They completed procedures to remove his prosthetic and allow the skin to warm. He suffered an extreme case of hypothermia as well as a lowered heart rate. The necessary time for recovery was undetermined. Levi might need a new prosthetic as the original one was damaged in the water.
As the doctor spoke, I remained wrapped in a thermal blanket, conditioning my own body temperature to rise and settle. I suffered shock, and fear, but mostly shock from the trauma of watching Levi fall and feeling so helpless to rescue him. I didn’t blame myself as much as hate myself for not knowing what to do.
“He’s a survivor. I imagine he has skills unpracticed by the common man,” the doctor reassured.
“Can I see him now?” I wasn’t certain Levi would want to see me, but I had to know he was better. He was going to mend.
Cautiously, I entered his room. Monitors beeped, and an IV dripped into his veins. I stood a moment staring at his slightly bluish skin, that nauseating sensation returning. The fear of losing Levi was so great, my own heart beat double time. I had no idea what to label what we had or what we were doing, but I knew how I felt. I loved him. I wanted to be with him, hoping one day, he might feel the same about me.
Slowly, his eyes opened and his head rolled toward me.
“Hey,” I croaked, taking a step toward him, wanting to envelop him in my arms and press him close in an attempt to warm him and melt the cold gaze in his eyes. He blinked and stared up at the ceiling. I stepped closer, without his permission, but kept my hands to myself.
“Katie?” He choked and swallowed hard. His head rolled back to face me, and his expression shifted. “You’re really here?”
“Where else would I be?” I asked, tears coming to my eyes as my hand lifted to brush over his hair.
“You weren’t with me in the ambulance. I thought something happened to you.” He swallowed again, closing his eyes briefly but opening them again just as quickly.
“Nothing happened to me,” I offered. “But I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry.”
His brow pinched with effort and his lids lowered again. “Why?” he choked out.
“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to save you, and the closer I got, the more I worried I’d make it worse.”
His head rolled from side to side.
“You already saved me,” he spoke in a raspy whisper, startling me with his words. “This was not your fault.” His lids remained closed. I gasped at the admission, but decided against further conversation when I couldn’t meet his eyes.
“You should rest.” My hand slipped down to his blanket-covered arms. Touching him like that wasn’t enough, but I didn’t want to disturb him. Rest was vital to his recovery. He didn’t open his eyes, and I stepped away. I’d hardly lowered my heel when he croaked, “Stay.”
My eyes jumped to his, which were wild looking and lost. I stepped back to his side and brushed my hand over his head again, cupping his still-chilled cheek.
“Of course,” I whispered. His head shook, and I thought he wanted me to remove my hand.
“Don’t leave me,” his voice grumbled low. Using effort he shouldn’t have been exerting, his fingers slipped out from under the blankets. Opening and closing his palm, like he reached for something but couldn’t find it, his hand stretched outward. I set my hand in his, and his fingers tightened instantly. With a wince and a struggle, he scooted over in the bed.
“Levi…” I began, questioning what he was doing.
“Climb in,” he croaked, his eyes closing once more. “Warm me,” he sleepily muttered.
“Levi, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I said, trying to tease him, but the sound came out like a barking seal in distress. His eyes opened instantly again.
“Please.” The word broke me. I removed my shoes and slipped under the blankets. My leg slipped between his and he sighed. My hands braced on his chest and he nuzzled his face close to mine.
“I’m going to dream of you,” he whispered, as his voice turned sleepy to match his closed eyes.
* * *
Thanksgiving did not turn out like I thought it would. Levi was in the hospital and I brought him a dinner wrapped in foil. We ate together, balancing on the tiny tray slipped over his bed.
“I guess you’re sorry you came with me,” I muttered between a mouthful of mashed potatoes.
“Actually, I’m not sorry.”
My fork lowered slowly as I looked up at him. He continued.
“You know I wouldn’t have come with you if I didn’t want to.” He shrugged. “I guess I decided it was time to stop fighting. My father’s gone, so is the house I grew up in. None of it matters.” He paused. “Well, it matters, but I can’t change the past. And you were right.”
“I was?” I cut him off and he laughed.
“I hadn’t thought about spending time with family on a holiday, but once you asked, I realized how pathetic it sounded that AJ and I wouldn’t be with anyone important. It seemed like a good idea to come with you. Here.” He shrugged again, acting noncommittal to anything he’d said, but I had a million questions. Was it my family, or just the thought of family? Did he wish to spend time with me, or just spend time with people? Was I important to him?
“You called Tricia and Leon,” I stated, as we hadn’t discussed the fact he contacted them once he agreed to return to Elk Rapids.
“I thought maybe I could see them. I never imagined they’d throw me a party. I didn’t dream I’d spend the night in their home, or that they’d be the ones watching AJ for me.” Tricia stepped in like the mother hen she could be and took over caring for AJ while I traveled from her house to the hospital to keep Levi company.
“You get to go home tomorrow,” I said too cheerfully. “You never got to see your brother Caleb.”
Levi looked off toward the end of the bed.
“I called him, too. He couldn’t make the time to see me.”
“Levi,” I whispered, not wanting to believe his words to be true.
“It’s fine,” he exhaled. “I mean it, it’s been so long, and Caleb and I are estranged.”
“But you could always call him again and explain…” My eyes drifted down to the hollow blanket next to his left leg.
“I don’t need his pity. There’s nothing he could do for me. My family is AJ now. That’s all I need.”
I steadied my fork as I lowered it completely to the tray, suddenly having lost my appetite.
“You aren’t hungry?” He had devoured Ethan Scott’s famous stuffing. Shaking my head, I pushed my plate toward Levi, allowing him to eat the rest of my dinner and chew up my soul.