Levi
Katie stared at me dumbfounded. Her sweet rosy lips hanging open. I’d stunned her into silence, but silence was all I’d heard the past week, so I wanted her to speak. Say something—anything—to me.
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll sit with me for dinner or let me sit with you, as a start? I don’t care. I just want to be near you.” I stepped closer to her, inhaling the wintery fragrance perpetually on her skin. A scent that tortured me each night while I slept on my side of the bed, holding her pillow in comfort of her loss.
The call to dinner came and Katie nodded, allowing me to follow her to her boss’s table. Sidonia Thomas was a striking woman, a touch older than me. Her exotic appearance would entice any man, but I only had eyes for the girl next to me. I longed to reach for her hand under the table, or touch her thigh. Any connection, just to feel complete again, would satisfy me. The last week had been hell.
I pulled out her chair and I took the seat to her right. Sidonia sat on the other side of Katie.
“I’m glad to see you don’t have your crutches. Are you feeling all right?” Katie asked.
I straightened my leg instinctively, relieved to find a new fit.
“I’m better, thank you.”
“Everything happened so quickly,” Katie hinted, and I could see her hesitation to make small talk about my leg.
“Good insurance and Grant Mullens can make things happen,” I smirked.
Sidonia coughed from the other side of Katie.
“Are you familiar with the Mullens family?” she asked, her green eyes opened wide.
“Grant Mullens is one of my few friends in the city. I had…an accident…last week and he came to my aide.” Curiously, I stared at Sidonia Thomas wondering how she knew my affluent friend, sensing she had her own familiarity with the Mullens family.
Katie stared at me, ready for an explanation. I’d decided the moment she walked out my door, I would no longer hold things back.
“Grant showed up later on Saturday. I don’t know how he knew, but he said he’d heard about the accident. Came to see what I needed and found me daycare to help while I went on doctor visits.”
“Another babysitter,” Katie muttered and my hand reached for her thigh. Instant mistake, only because of the material of her dress. I recognized her in it immediately, my eyes drawn to her the second she entered the room. My hands already knew the texture of this dress and the skin hidden under it. I took a deep breath to calm myself.
“Yes, some older woman who scared me, but knew how to handle a baby and a grown man acting like one.”
Sidonia laughed from the other side of Katie and Katie’s hand hesitantly covered mine under the table. Linking our fingers together, I looked down at our clasped hands before drawing up her body.
“You look beautiful. I told you that already, right?” My lips curved, my body alive. The simple touch of her welcome hand was a step in the right direction.
“Hmmmm…you’re doing good, man,” Sidonia pointed at me over her plate. “You’re doing good.” She clapped her hands and reached for her wine. Katie giggled, and I relaxed at the sound.
Dinner was served. Music played. The award ceremony began. Katie’s fingers tightened on mine as her category drew near.
“And in the category of Fantasy Fiction, the winning finalist is—Vanessa Dawson for The Race.” Applause sounded around us and Katie released my hand to clap. Sidonia placed a hand on Katie’s other thigh, speaking to her, which I couldn’t hear over the vibration of hands.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as the noise died down and the categories continued. She waved me off with a hand under her chin, but I sensed she was crushed. I wanted to do everything to take away her pain. I had a hundred words but none of them would be the right thing said. Instead, I decided I needed to envelop her in my arms, holding her against me.
When the ceremony finished, music returned. Katie’s sense of flight vibrated off her skin. She was ready to flee, and I was losing my grip. I needed more time with her.
“Dance with me,” I asked as I leaned into her shoulder.
“I don’t feel like dancing,” she mumbled, smiling weakly at me. “I’m heading home in a moment.”
“Just dance with him. One dance,” Sidonia harshly whispered, loud enough for the entire table to hear. She winked at me, and Sidonia was suddenly my new best friend. “Thank you,” I mouthed as Katie stood, and I followed.
I pulled Katie into my arms and instantly knew it wasn’t close enough. It had been nearly two weeks since I’d made love to her. Over ten days since that searing kiss in the extra bedroom of her aunt’s home. I wanted to get closer to her, assure her there would be other contests, other opportunities.
“It’s going to be okay, Katie. Take it as a sign. It wasn’t meant to be this one.” I smiled, dipping my chin to make her look at me.
“I think that’s easy for you to say. You never want what’s in front of you.” She tugged back, but I tightened my hold, gripping her hand firmer, wrapping around her waist tighter.
“What do you mean?”
“The job. The finalist. Me.”
“I wanted that job,” I retorted. “But it turned out it just wasn’t for me. It wasn’t the one. I have other plans. As for the competition, I already told you, I don’t want to write. And as for you, you’re all I want, Katie. I don’t know how you don’t see that. You are the one.”
She blinked at me, confusion closing her pinched forehead.
“You called Alicia. She knew about the job before me. You wanted her to take care of AJ. All understandable, but still…” Her voice quivered.
“Still what?”
“It hurt,” she snapped, ducking her head as she thought she spoke too loudly.
“Why?” I squeezed her hand, needing the words, hoping what she felt reflected my feelings. “Why did it hurt, Katie?
“Because…I…” I couldn’t take the suspense any longer, I needed her mouth on mine. I needed to feel the words against my lips. Fuck the ballroom. My mouth lowered, brushing over hers, too tender, too brief.
“Tell me, Katie. Let me be your fantasy.”
Shaking her head, she stepped back from me. I was losing her and my heart raced. My palms sweated. The music closed as if it were pressing down on my chest. I willed the panic not to consume me as I tried to hold tighter to her hand in mine.
“I can’t be second, Levi.” She smiled weakly. “I’m always in the shadows, but I won’t be here. Not in this matter.”
“What matter? Tell me.” I jiggled her hand in mine, hoping to force an answer.
“Not where my feelings are involved, Levi. I’m in touch with my emotions. I know how I feel about things. I deserve the fantasy and I deserve to be someone’s else as well.” She tugged back far enough that I released her before I made a scene.
“Don’t abandon me, Katie,” I muttered.
“You abandoned me, Levi. You left me.” She walked away from me again, and all I could do was watch her leave.