Katie
My legs wobbled as I hustled off the dance floor, heading directly for the main door. I would explain things later to Sidonia. Standing by the coat check, I noticed her father speaking on the phone. I received my coat and slipped it on as I headed for the elevators. My toe tapped. I wasn’t making my exit fast enough. For the first time ever, I didn’t want Levi to chase me. I wanted to be alone.
“Leaving so soon,” Mr. Thomas addressed me, and I turned to face the imposing man.
“I have homework,” I weakly offered. “Final exams next week.” He nodded, pouting his lower lip in understanding.
“Sidonia tells me you’re a great writer. She read the piece you entered in the contest.”
I took a deep breath and let my shoulders fall. I couldn’t take any more disappointment in regards to my writing.
“I can’t say I’m familiar with it, but why don’t you give me your elevator pitch.”
I stared at him and looked at the elevator.
“In thirty seconds or less, tell me what your story is about.”
“Mr. Thomas, with all due respect, I don’t think it’s something that would interest you.” His business attire and disappointment in his daughter’s business hinted that he was a powerful man who wouldn’t have time for the silly fantasies of a dreamer like me. His eyes narrowed at me and he tilted his head like he’d done earlier to his daughter.
“Humor me,” he said, his voice slightly gruffer.
“It’s titled Silent Warrior, and it’s about a girl who doesn’t speak. She learns things, like a spy, the quiet observer in the room. She’s discredited by her silence as being dumb, but she’s smart. She uses what she sees to be a vigilante of sorts, protecting the weak and supporting the strong. There’s a romantic element, but the story is hers. She’s the hero.”
My heart raced as I recalled my tale in less than five sentences when the story was almost one hundred thousand words.
“Very interesting,” Mr. Thomas said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And this is the story Sidonia read?”
“Yes, sir.” The elevator dinged, and I realized the timing marked the end of my pitch. The practice was good for me, but the moment disheartened me further. I couldn’t take any more disappointment.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Thomas. I hold your daughter in my highest respect. She’s a good friend.” With that I stepped into the elevator and let the closing doors silence my world.
* * *
Penelope and I stared at the television. The brilliant light illuminating the living room as we shared a late-night bowl of popcorn.
“It’s been a long time,” Penelope said and I knew what she meant. I’d spent so much time with Levi and AJ, I missed my best friend. I chomped on another kernel as I muttered my agreement at her statement. My mind still raced with the evening’s events. Levi’s confession that I was the one haunted me. Had I made a mistake? Did I walk away too easily? Taking a deep breath, I fought the urge to call him. Then I remembered something.
“Don’t you work for a company named Mullens Manufacturing?”
Penelope’s head hit the back of our couch. “Don’t ruin a perfectly good evening by mentioning my day job?”
I twisted to look at her. She turned her face toward the ceiling and closed her eyes.
“Why?”
“Grant Mullens is the man I temp for. He’s such an ass. Pretty to look at, but a total ass.”
Grant Mullens? The name rang a bell. Levi mentioned him, but they couldn’t be the same person.
“Huh, Levi mentioned a Grant Mullens tonight. Said he helped him after we first came home from Thanksgiving.”
Penelope snorted. “Doubtful we are talking about the same Grant Mullens then. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He’s a total player.”
I suspiciously eyed my roommate. “And how would you know this fact?”
Shifting on the cushions with a little jump, she spun to face me. Her fingers pointed at me and she ticked off her reasons with her other hand.
“One, he’s too good looking in a suit for his own good.” My eyebrows rose in response.
“Two, he’s selfish, arrogant, and entitled.” One finger tapped another.
“Eeek. The worst combination.”
“Three, his eyes are too beautiful.” I stared at her, questioning what this had to do with his personality.
“Uhm—“
“Four, he would never do anything nice for someone. He lives to insult. Flirt and insult. Flirt and confuse and insult.”
“I don’t see—“
“And lastly, his lips are too big.” I blinked at my best friend.
“And you know this how?” I giggled.
“By looking at him,” she huffed, her arms crossing like a petulant child. I couldn’t help myself, I laughed. A hearty laugh that filled my throat and made my belly ache.
“Oh Penelope, I’ve missed you.” I sighed.
“I’ve missed you, too, Katie Kat.” Her head fell over on my shoulder and we resumed staring at the television. Both our minds occupied with confusing men.
* * *
I held my breath as I entered VetGym. Levi was the last person I wanted to see, but I volunteered for an extra day before I left for winter break. Sidonia had offered me a week off and I was taking the holiday between the semesters to go home again. While Kentucky and Penelope wanted me to party up my loss, stating the holidays were the perfect time to find no-strings-attached-sex, my heart knew I’d never be into that. I couldn’t even be Levi’s friend-with-benefits. I had always wanted more and bided my time hoping things would change.
I checked in with Vic.
“Happy holidays, Santa baby,” he sang to me. I smiled weakly at his attempts to flirt.
“Why so glume, sugar plum?” he tried again. His old, liquidy eyes softened with concern. “You look like you lost your best friend.”
I stared over the counter at him as he took the sign-in pen from me. Shrugging a shoulder, I responded.
“It’s nothing like that,” I said softly.
“It’s worse, isn’t it?” Vic’s older voice lowered. “Damn it. He broke your heart. Let me at him. I’ll straighten him out. Who was it? I’ll knock him into next Wednesday and twice on Thursday.”
I giggle-huffed, a strange puffing combination, as Vic lifted his shaky, veined fists and shook them in the air.
“Was it that new fella? The one always coming around here lately?”
My heart leapt to my throat and I felt sick. Was Levi here? I couldn’t see him. I twisted from left to right as if I’d find him standing in the front lobby.
“He isn’t here today,” Vic muttered. “But if he’s the cause of your heartbreak, I’ll break him in two and feed him to my cat.”
I had to laugh at that and shook my head in dismay.
“Oh Vic, I love you.” I smiled. His wrinkled face turned a shade of pink, and his trembling lips curved upward.
“Quit flirting with the volunteers,” Professor Erickson’s voice dropped my heart rate, but Vic only smiled broader.
“You tell that young thing he’s a fool. And if this beauty loves me, I’m not too old to be one.”
I turned slowly to face my professor.
“Professor Erickson.”
“Wayne, please.” His hand rose to stop me from speaking. “We’ve missed you this week. You haven’t seemed yourself.”
“My portion of the project is done, and I had some…personal things…” I offered weakly.
“I know all about that.” Wayne’s voice lowered as he stepped toward me. “You’ll be there on Tuesday for the final presentations, correct? It’s part of the grade.”
I nodded and excused myself for my assigned room. Carmela greeted me, her fingers moving fast.
“Wait, slow down. What’s happening?”
Carmela slowed the motion of her fingers as she signed that the hot new guy had been hanging out at the gym more often lately. Rumor had it, he became an investor of some sort.
“Carmela, which hot new guy?” I laughed, playing off my hopes that she meant Levi while at the same time not wanting to see him. Maybe she meant the guy with the bun from the basketball court. He was new, and hot, too. But when Carmela’s fingers spelled out Levi, I swallowed hard.
“Well, good for Levi. He needs to feel invested in something, and it’s good for the gym.” Maxwell could use any help he could get, and the holidays were a time for major contributions. Carmela shook her head, as if I didn’t understand. I read her fingers as they fluttered rapidly again.
“Levi, isn’t going to work here,” I said aghast. “You must be mistaken.” Irritation filled my voice as I stared at my caramel-colored friend. She’d lost her voice, but I was convinced she’d also lost her mind. Xavier walked in with his over-the-edge attitude, and I dismissed thoughts of Levi to lose myself in volunteering.
Two hours passed before we decided to break. I remained in the room, straightening some books, when a throat cleared behind me.
“How was class today?”
“Levi?” I spun to face him, feeling betrayed by everyone who’d said he wasn’t present, and strangely achy at the sight of him. I wanted to erase last night’s dinner, especially our dance. The way he held me, pressing me tighter, nearly begging me for words I could never risk offering without knowing where I stood with him. He was promising me with his eyes he’d never hurt me again.
“I hear you’re an investor here. Thank you. Maxwell and the recruits will benefit from the support.”
Levi nodded slowly and sat in one of the orange loungers.
“I’m more than an investor. I’m the new director.”
My knees buckled and I lowered to the seat opposite him. I closed my eyes. Another secret.
“I wanted to tell you last night.” The sound of scratching fingers under his chin opened my eyes. He tipped his head left, cracking his neck, reminiscent of when we first met again. “I had so much to say, but things got away from me. You slipped away.”
I sighed, exhaling his name with my breath.
“I always wanted to see the world. Escape, as I told you. I joined the military. When I lost my leg, I lost more than a body part and my men. I lost my soul. I didn’t know what to do without the adventure. I thought the travel could restore some of the aching emptiness. I was a caged animal, like you explained. The sense of something crawling under my skin, needing to be set free.”
I stared at him. He didn’t seem to understand me when I’d explained those things at the zoo. How wrong I’d been.
“I think what I wanted was just a way to feel connected again. Connected to something. Sure, I have AJ. I love my son. He’s my everything, but I still need something for me. Something for me that will benefit him. I thought the job would be that. The money. The world. But it wasn’t what I wanted any longer.” He chuckled softly. “I wanted something else. Something that seemed bigger than me. Something I’d never had.” His eyes met mine, holding me prisoner to his sadness and his hope.
“Anyway, I decided VetGym might be a better place for my talents and time. I understand what these men and women have been through. That’s my connection. I can relate to their struggles and triumphs. I have so many ideas, starting with a photography collection. I’m going to make my own book.” He smiled sheepishly and I responded in kind.
“That’s a fabulous idea.”
“The history project sparked the idea, as well as you.”
“Me?” I laughed. “You don’t like writing.” My feet slid forward on the tile, and I looked down at my boots.
“Katie, I don’t dislike writing. It just isn’t my passion, not like it’s yours. But I wondered if you could help me. We make a good team.”
Again, I smiled weakly. We had worked well together, but I didn’t think I could continue to work with Levi feeling separated from him from the way I did. My feelings couldn’t stop. I’d shut down my voice as a child, but I wouldn’t do it again as an adult. I had other ways to protect myself from pain.
“Let me think about it.”
Levi shook his head in response, his chocolate eyes dropping. “Of course.” He sat up straighter, rubbing a hand over his head and resting it on his neck. “I’ll see you in class. The project looks great. I’m sure we’ll get an A.” He winked at me, and his smile returned. Forced, clenched, and too bright. No dimples peeked at me, and the hollowness in his eyes returned.
“I can’t wait to see it.”
“I’m the one waiting, Katie.” He stood on those final words and exited the room, leaving me breathless and confused.
* * *
On Monday, I received a call from a number I didn’t recognize. I typically didn’t answer them, but this time I did.
“Ms. Carter, this is Mr. Thomas, Sidonia’s father.”
“Is everything okay with Sidonia? With Vintage Vines?” I’d spoken to her only yesterday, organizing my schedule for the week.
“Yes, fine. She’s fine. So listen, Sidonia gave me a copy of your manuscript. I hope you don’t mind, but I took a peek and I’d like to pass it on to a junior agent, someone trying to get his feet wet in the industry and working hard to prove himself. He wants original work and I think this story has something.”
Silence ensued. I couldn’t speak. I pulled the phone back from my ear and checked the number. It was a legitimate 312—the Chicago area code for downtown—but still I didn’t understand.
“I’m sorry. Mr. Thomas, I’m confused.”
“I see Sidonia told you nothing about me. Typical, but I’ll spare you the family drama. I’m Preston Thomas. I own McTigue Publishing, a firm here in Chicago and with offices in New York. Again, we’d like to pitch your manuscript and see where things may lead.”
My mouth was moving, but no sound escaped. Sidonia. Her father. A publishing agent.
“I think that sounds very exciting, sir. I’d love to see where things may lead as well.” I’m certain my voice squeaked, my lips trembling so hard I tried to keep my teeth separate so they didn’t rattle inside my head.
“Could we meet the Monday after Christmas? I know it’s not the ideal time, but now is when we prepare for the spring line of releases.”
“That sounds perfect.” He forwarded me to an assistant, and I took down the details. I was so excited, I danced around my kitchen for a full minute. I wanted to tell someone, and my first thought was Levi. Uncertain after seeing him at VetGym, I decided a strong admonishment to my boss was the first call to make, and after I scolded her, I’d tell her how much I loved her.
* * *
Tuesday arrived, and I dreaded my class. I should have taken the drop, but I couldn’t afford to pick up another class and prolong the second semester. I needed to graduate and move on with my life, writing fantasy tales or not. I still hadn’t fully believed Mr. Thomas’ offer, and knowing these things took time, I’d applied for a job as a docent at a museum. I had to use my humanities degree in some way, and I was still waiting to hear back from them.
I took extra time to straighten my hair and fix my make-up, which seemed ridiculous for a Tuesday afternoon. I hitched my computer bag over my shoulder and tried to hold my head high as I entered the classroom to find Levi absent from my grand entrance. I took my seat toward the back and nervously tapped my pencil against a notebook I had hardly used all semester. Professor Erickson entered and set up the projector. He began introducing who would present first, and I zoned out as Emma and her partner took the front of the room. My tapping increased to the point the person behind my left shoulder poked me.
“That’s distracting me.” A deep voice I’d recognize even in my sleep made me spin to find Levi sitting behind me. I don’t know how he snuck in, even if I wasn’t paying attention, but I found no words to speak. I simply stared until Professor Erickson called out our names.
“Stay,” Levi whispered as he stood gracefully and walked with that ever-so-subtle limp to the front of the classroom.
“My partner, Katie, and I did a presentation in pictures. A journey of discovery about the city and important people within it.”
Professor Erickson dimmed the lights and Levi stepped to the side, using a device to click the slides. Instantly projected was not the front cover we had designed. In fact, the first slide wasn’t anything we’d discussed either. The slides were images of the city, but within each one was a picture of me.
The Alley Cat Café.
The Lincoln Park Zoo.
Levi had somehow imposed images of me within the slides. He even had a shot of him and me at the scholarship fundraiser that I hardly remembered being taken by the official photographer.
My mouth hung open, dry and gaping.
“The assignment was to discover something historical about this great city, and what I learned was history found me.” Levi paused, as he clicked to another slide.
“See Katie Carter and I knew each other once upon a time.”
The castle in the Science Museum.
“And then I went off to slay an enemy,” Levi paused, flashing another scene, a dragon from the Field Museum and then a clip of Soldier Field, a place that commemorates those who fought in wars abroad. My eyes shifted to Levi who was focused on me.
“Professor Erickson said the project had to be a discovery, and so I discovered Katie Carter. She and I have history.”
A sigh to my right triggered me to sit forward. My heart raced within my chest and my hands clutched the curved edge of my desk.
“History isn’t out there being lived and lost by some other people. It’s in us. In what we did this morning, what we did yesterday, what we did ten years ago. History isn’t about the dead, although they can certainly dictate some of it. History lives in us while we breathe, and it changes course and turns around and doubles back before taking two steps forward. It’s a reckless, weaving road, but it always leads somewhere. Sometimes we learn the path, sometimes we fail, and have to find our way back to start over again.”
Levi included a Welcome to Michigan sign, as well as a Welcome Back to Chicago one.
“History doesn’t come from perseverance, although that’s certainly part of the equation. History comes from love. Love of self, love of God, love of country, but most importantly, love to and from another person.”
An image of only me projected on the screen, my hair blowing wildly over my face.
“Your love drove me forward,” Levi said, addressing me. “Sitting in that desk in front of me or standing on that sidewalk didn’t matter. Our histories collided back together.” Levi walked toward me, and I swallowed hard, my throat still dry but my eyes welling with tears.
“But I don’t want only history with you, Katie, intertwined, and crossing over and doubling back.” His hands twisted and turned, one over the other, emphasizing his words. “Let’s not be the past. Let’s live the future. Together.”
Another gasp sounded and a pair of hands clapped somewhere to my left, but my eyes didn’t leave Levi’s.
“You don’t have to answer me yet,” he said, getting down on one knee beside my desk. “But I have a question I need to ask very soon. Think of me, Katie. I think of you.”
With tears slipping down my face, I bit the corner of my lip.
“You know I already do,” I whispered.
I love you, he signed with stiff fingers and the tears poured forth unabashed. I couldn’t answer him before I was engulfed in a hug, wrapping myself around him. He whispered in my ear, “I love you.”