Chapter Fourteen
Caroline
I couldn’t believe this was happening. The turmoil inside my heart raged like hurricane winds. I wanted to pull away from him and run out of the house, but his lips were too sweet. His tongue brought my fantasies to life. I put my hand on his chest to push him away, but the firmness of his pecs called me. I hated that I wanted him so badly. I wanted to smack him for crossing the line, but all I could do was kiss him. I hated that he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. “Wait,” I said, pulling myself away. “Wait.” Tears formed in the base of my eyes as he stared at me with a longing gaze that I could never put into words. “Sarah,” I said as my voice cracked. “What about Sarah?”
He dropped his head. “I miss her,” he responded. “I miss her and… Caroline, I don’t know what it is, but you help me get past that. You help me cope with the pain I have with her being gone. You are my drug, and I can’t explain it any way other than that.” He lifted his hand and wiped a tear from my eye just as it tumbled down my cheek. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I’m sorry.”
A few moments of silence passed as we sat inches away from each other. I closed the gap between us and locked my lips with his again. This time, I wasn’t going to stop. I put my hand on the side of his face and climbed on top of him. My skirt rose above my hips as I straddled his waist with our lips intertwined like strands of DNA. With one hand, he grabbed my backside and guided me closer to him. I leaned my head back as his tongue danced down the middle of my neck until he met with my breasts. I pulled my shirt from over my head and tossed it to the side. I couldn’t believe this was about to happen. It felt as though we were eating forbidden fruit, but it was too savory to stop. The apple was too sweet to turn away.
I reached behind and unstrapped my bra, releasing my breasts from their momentary prison. He wrapped his lips around my nipples, twirling them in his mouth like a lollipop before he suctioned my breast. I bit my lip as I held the back of his head. I could feel him rising beneath me, poking the outer portion of my undergarments. He shifted his attention to my other breast as heavy, passionate breaths escaped my lungs in bursts of ecstasy. My panties were soaked, and my mind was conflicted as we danced together in flames of hell.
I squatted over him so I could unbuckle his pants. We were too far gone to turn back. With his undamaged hand, he yanked his pants down to his ankles, then his underwear followed right after. His dick shot straight up like an exclamation mark. My vagina dripped onto the tip of it as I gazed into his lonely eyes. It looked as though he found his way out through me. The desperation in his eyes spoke volumes as I lowered myself onto his penis. The tip of it cracked my vagina as I eased down onto him. I couldn’t remember the last time I had allowed anybody inside of me like this. His dick burst inside me. I fixed my mouth to utter moans of pleasure, but nothing escaped.
He put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down further as he exhaled passionate groans. My lips fit tight around his dick, and at that moment, I felt his head climb to chambers in my vagina that hadn’t been touched in years. I bounced up and down on top of him. My tits moved like basketballs as I dug my nails into the back of his neck. His chest glistened with sweat as he leaned his head on the back cushion of the couch. He grabbed hold of my waist with his hand and guided me back and forth on top of him, smacking my behind as I moved according to his command. Suddenly, he grabbed my neck and pulled me in. His lips had pressed against mine moments before he stood up with my legs wrapped around his waist like a boa constrictor.
He dropped me on the couch; then he mounted me as he forced my legs back behind my head until they made a V shape. His muscles contracted as he pushed himself deeper inside of me. I screamed out of pleasure and pain as I dug my nails into his back. My body bounced up and down on the couch. His hands slid around my throat, choking me delicately. The passion drove me up a wall as his muscular frame hovered over me like a spaceship. His dick slid in and out of me. “Shit,” I yelled out. “Shit!” I could feel myself building up for a release. My pussy lips pulsated as sweat dripped from his muscular chest.
“Kiss me!” I said, pulling him closer to me. As his tongue swam around in my mouth, a tidal wave flooded from my vagina and exploded onto his dick like a stick of dynamite. I screamed out in ecstasy, my voice bouncing off the walls in the front room. He moaned, and just moments later, I felt his dick pulsating inside of me. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he yelled out obscenities. His words mingled together with my screams as we shared the same pleasure, and minutes later, his bare chest relaxed on top of me as he laid between my legs.
Our breathing coincided with each other’s, and from there, it didn’t take long for me to understand the magnitude of what just happened. I just had sex with Sarah’s dad. Suddenly, my fantasy hit a wall, and while Harrison rested on top of me, my eyes bubbled with tears. This was wrong. This was so wrong. For the first time since Sarah’s death, I blocked her from appearing in my imagination. I locked her voice out. Her image was forbidden to appear, and even if it did, I would hide my face in shame. Harrison’s head laid against my breast while I covertly wiped tears from my eyes. I cleared the tears from my throat the best I could. “Harrison,” I said after I mustered the strength. “I think I need to go.”
His head lifted from my chest. “Why?” He didn’t have an ounce of worry in his eyes. He was more concerned about what I said than anything else. “Leave? I don’t understand.”
I allowed the tears to fall down the sides of my face. “Why? What do you mean, why? We just did something wrong, Harrison. I just had sex with my dead best friend’s father. This was wrong, Harrison. This was so wrong.”
He sprung to an upright position. “No, you can’t think like that, Caroline.”
“I can and I will.” I pushed myself into a seated position. “We shouldn’t have crossed that line. It was wrong, and if Sarah were alive, we never would have! We wouldn’t have done it, and you know it!” I reached for my underwear and violently shoved my legs through each hole.
Harrison reached for my arm to slow me down. “Caroline, please. Just wait a second, alright? Can you please just calm down?”
I yanked my arm away from him. “No! I can’t! She is my best friend, and I betrayed her! I slept with her fucking father just weeks after she was buried! It comes off like I waited until she died just so I could stab her in the fucking back! I feel like shit, Harrison! I feel like shit!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as my emotions boiled inside my heart. Harrison watched me quietly as I stood and pulled my underwear to my hips. “This is shit, Harrison! This is nothing but… but a bunch of shit! We shouldn’t have done it! Sarah is turning over in her grave right now, and I know it!”
Just then, I broke down. I covered my face as tears cascaded down my cheeks. I felt Harrison stand up beside me and slowly wrap his arm around my body. “It’s going to be alright, Caroline.”
“It’s not!”
“Caroline.” He sighed as he held me. His embrace was comforting. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength. I didn’t have the heart. “This was not on you, OK? This was on me. I kissed you first… I… I started everything. It was something that I shouldn’t have done, but at the same time, I am happy that I did. I felt at peace during that time. I felt like… I felt like you completely consoled me at a time when I was inconsolable, and on top of it all, you never had to say anything to me. You only had to be here. You just had to touch me. Whether it was your hug or your presence, that was all it took. I wanted that. I wanted to feel that permanently, you know? It just felt right, Caroline. It just felt right.”
I sniffled, then wiped my eyes as I calmed down in his arms. I understood his point of view, but it didn’t erase how I felt about Sarah. Nothing would change that. I stepped away from him. “I need to go, Harrison. I just need to get away from here and think about things.”
He sighed. “I understand.” I grabbed Kleenex from a small box on the table as he slipped his pants back on. He walked me to the door, and with a solemn voice, he asked, “Will I see you on Monday? For your job?”
The bright light shone down from above as I stood silently by the door, weighing rather or not I should take the job. If I wanted to move to California in half a year, I had no choice. I wasn’t going to find another job to pay me as much as Harrison was willing to. Even with that, I couldn’t answer him outright. “I don’t know right now. I just need to think about everything. Just give me some time. Please?”
“Sure,” he said patiently. “Take your time.”
I walked away from him slowly. My heels clicked against the concrete until I made it to my car. I glanced back at his door as he stood there, shirtless, watching just to make sure I drove away safely. My hand felt like it was a bag of bricks as I lifted the key into the ignition and turned it on. By the time I got to the corner of his block, I had pulled to the side of the road and parked in front of another house. I broke down crying the same way I did when Sarah died, but the reasons were very different. One was because she was gone, and the other was because I felt that I betrayed her. I didn’t know how I would be able to carry on.