Chapter Eighteen
Caroline
I stood in front of the mirror, prepping myself for the dinner I had scheduled tonight with Harrison. He wanted to go over a few things with me for the meeting this weekend and felt like it would be best to cover it before we hit the road. I smeared foundation on my cheeks, then smoothed it over with a pad. Do not sleep with Harrison, Caroline. Do NOT sleep with Harrison. I had a brief pep talk with myself as I applied my makeup. In the back of my mind, I heard Sarah laughing at my attempt to curb my desire. “Shut up, Sarah! You make me sick!”
Just then, my doorbell rang. It was almost 6 pm when I saw Johnathan standing on the other side. I rolled my eyes and opened the door with a bit of aggression hanging from my limbs. “Johnathan? I thought I asked you not to come by unannounced.”
“I know,” he said, excusing himself into my house. “I was just tired of being ignored by you.”
“Ignored?” I kept the door open so he would know not to get comfortable. “I haven’t been ignoring you.”
He turned around and folded his arms over his chest. “I’ve texted you multiple times in the past few days, and I’ve called you once.”
“Right,” I said, shaking my head. “You did. I am sorry. I have been so busy with this new job lately that I just overlooked it, that’s all. But still, that doesn’t explain why you are here. I have somewhere to be in an hour, so please, can you leave so I can finish getting ready?”
“Somewhere else to go, huh?” He grabbed the name tag that was on the small table near the door. “So, how are things going at Harrison Construction? Or, should I ask, how are things going between you and Harrison?” His eyes shifted towards me as he flung the name tag back onto the table. It had slid across the surface before it tumbled onto the floor.
“Johnathan, please, alright? There is nothing to talk about between me and Harrison, and even if it was, it would be none of your business.”
He laughed. “Oh, really? None of my business? I’ve been attempting to make things serious with you for a while now and all of a sudden, it is none of my business? None of my business, huh?”
“Johnathan, I am going to have to ask you one more time to leave. If you don’t, I will call the police.”
“And tell them what? I was trespassing? You let me in the house, Caroline. I have done nothing wrong.”
“Except not leaving when I asked you politely.” I stood by the door. My hands shook as I grabbed hold of the handle. I didn’t know what his motive was for being in my apartment right now, but things felt off with him. He paced my living room as my patience grew thin. “Johnathan!”
Just then, he shot a menacing glance in my direction. “How do you think Sarah would feel about you sleeping around with her father after she died?”
“You better not go there, Johnathan,” I snapped. “You better not cross that line.”
“I better not cross that line?” He mocked me with laughter, doubling over to his knees. “Wait, let me get this right. You said that I better not cross that line? The line that you and your sugar daddy decided to cross a long time ago?”
“Get the fuck out!”
“You can’t handle the truth, huh? Yeah, I know. I’ve had a few eyes on you since the day I saw his name on your phone about your, um, ‘dinner date.’ And the thing is, I wouldn’t even be upset about how things turned out if you were honest about it. But no, you simply took my flowers and every other gift I bought you and said nothing about your waning interest in me. I mean,” he put the palm of his hand below his chin, then wagged his finger at me as if he was scolding, “you couldn’t even offer me the courtesy of telling me that I was wasting my time. Wasting my money. Really?”
“You are full of shit! There is nothing going on between me and Harrison, and there never was! It is just business, alright! Just business! That is it!”
“Really?”
“Get the fuck out, now!” I yelled. I could feel my face glowing a bright red. My breathing picked up to a rapid pace as he smiled. He didn’t care. He seemed to enjoy every moment of rage that spilled from my eyes.
“I will leave. I will leave,” he strutted past me. “But please understand that, um, this little ‘thing’ that you and your best friend’s dad have going on? Everyone will know about it. Everybody will know how much of a lying, little backstabbing whore you really are. Sleeping with your best friend’s dad after she died. Hmph. Who is to say that you didn’t have anything to do with her death, because God knows that you wouldn’t have done anything with him if she was still alive.”
I couldn’t control it. It was like my hand had a mind of its own. It lifted from my side and zipped into his face like they were opposite ends of a magnet. The stinging sound of my palm connecting with his face bounced off the walls of the nearby apartment buildings. He laughed and put his hand on his cheek. “Yeah,” he said, “that stings. But not as much as it will for you. Have a good night, Caroline.”
I slammed the door hard enough for it to rattle the walls, then ran to my room and dove onto my bed with rivers of tears falling from my eyes. A rush of emotions hit my heart like hurricane winds as I bawled on top of my mattress. I couldn’t believe that Johnathan had the audacity to come into my home and speak to me the way he did. The room spun as if I were intoxicated as I tried to catch my breath. It eluded me like a housefly as I began gasping for air. My phone rang, but I couldn’t answer it. My hands were bricks. My arms were steel poles bolted into cement. My eyelids were heavy like the concrete walls that held the building together. Suddenly, I blacked out.
It was 10 pm when I woke up again. My head was throbbing. The bright bedroom light shined down on me as if I was on an operating table. It took me a few moments before I realized where I was. Finally, my eyes adjusted to the brightness and I sat up on my mattress. I had missed the last four hours of my life, suspended in complete darkness. Minutes later, my phone rang. Lazily, I reached for it, searching for the strength to bring it to my ear. “Hello?” I said in a voice devoid of strength.
“Caroline? My God, where are you? Is everything alright?”
“Harrison?”
“Yes, this is me. Caroline, what is wrong? I’ve been calling you for the past two hours, and I figured something was up, so I came to your apartment. I got more worried when I saw your car parked out front. Where are you? Are you alright?”
I searched for ways to put my words together. “I’m… I’m in my bedroom.” Suddenly, a wave of tears hit my eyes as I remembered the events before I blacked out. “Come in, please, Harrison!” I begged. “Come in! I need you to come in!”
“I am on my way.”
Not even a handful of seconds later, pounding erupted on the other side of my door. I pulled myself out of bed, stumbling to the ground as soon as my feet hit the floor. My legs were jelly. It felt as though I had to learn how to walk all over again. I grabbed hold of the dresser and pulled myself up as the pounding continued. “Caroline, it’s me! Open up!” I braced myself on the walls as I crept to the front door.
“I’m… I’m coming, Harrison.” I spoke in a voice just above a whisper. I knew he couldn’t hear me, because the banging itself was loud enough to drown me out. I slipped and fell to the ground. It took me seconds to push myself up against the wall. Finally, I made it to the front door. As soon as I unlocked the latch, Harrison twisted the knob and found me leaning against the wall.
“Oh, my God! Caroline!” he said, taking me in his arms before I slid to the ground. “What happened to you?! Are you alright?! Did someone attack you!?” I looked at him. His face was like a fortress. The fire in his eyes was hot enough to keep the sun blazing. I spoke with tears as he walked me to the couch and laid me face up on the cushions. “Did someone attack you?!”
I shook my head no as tears cascaded down my cheeks. He popped up and stormed through the apartment, ripping doors open, then slamming them shut as if he was searching for someone hiding within the walls of my home. He came back into the front room with his fist balled and his chest puffed up like a cloud full of adrenaline. “Who was it, Caroline?! Who was it!? I will take care of it right now!”
I shook my head, trying to speak in between the cries that left my lips. “I’m…” I gasped for air, “I’m OK… I’m OK.”
“Bullshit, Caroline! You’re crying, and you look out of it! What happened?!”
He sat next to me on the couch and guided my head onto his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. That’s all I wanted. That’s what I needed to calm down. I felt protected in his arms as he whispered, “Shhh, it’s going to be OK.” Afterward, I told him what happened with Johnathan. As he sat and listened, his nostrils flared like tiny umbrellas as his cheekbones gyrated inside his mouth.
“Fucking asshole,” he said. “I’ll fix that. I’ll fix that for sure.”
“No.” I put my hand on his leg. “No, Harrison. There is nothing we can do. I let him in, and he said what he said. I should’ve been up-front with him in the beginning.”
“I don’t give a shit, Caroline. That gives him no right to step into your home and berate you like that. No right at all! I will find him and break every damned bone in his face!”
“Harrison, no. Please. Can we just leave it alone? I’m sure everything will work itself out. I mean, I’ve been a part of rumors before, so it’s going to be fine. It’s not like I go to ASU anymore anyway. I’ll be fine. Let’s just go out of town tomorrow like we planned, alright? Let’s just get away. I will deal with the backlash whenever it comes.”
“No, WE will deal with it.”
I loved to hear him say that, but I knew this would all fall on me. I was the one who slept with my best friend’s father after she died. I would be the one who was looked at like I took advantage of an older man’s vulnerability. Everyone within our circle knew that I had a crush on him, so it would be logical to jump to that conclusion. I loved the fact that he was there, but now, I was leery of the whole situation. Maybe I went too far, and my heart put the wrong words inside of Sarah’s tongue when she spoke to me. Maybe I went at this completely the opposite way that I was supposed to. I wanted to push Harrison away and tell him to go home, but I couldn’t. I was entangled in the ropes of my own heart, and I had no idea how to get free.