I grit my teeth as the needle repeatedly cut into my skin .

“Take a break ?”

Callaway paused, holding the gun just above my flesh. He was the best damn tattoo artist in town. Maybe even the whole state .

And once he got his cut, he became the official ink master for the entire club .

Nowadays, he rarely tatted anyone who was not a Devil’s Rider .

“No, I’m good .”

“This is really fucking heartwarming, you know that ?”

I grunted, ignoring him. I knew he meant the message I’d chosen. It was a reminder. A reminder for every time I started to get weak. That happened a lot more often over the past year than I wanted to admit .

Now I wouldn’t forget. I could just look in the damn mirror if I was tempted to try and track her down again. I’d already wasted months searching for her. There was nothing more pathetic than searching for someone who didn’t want to be found .

I needed help fighting the itch. The constant worry and concern. The never ending feeling that something was missing .

Just three words. But those three words said it all .

It was only my third tat, other than the enormous club emblem on my back and the ‘live free or die’ emblazoned across my chest. These were to honor my brothers. The new one referred to something else entirely .

Her and her alone .

I had no idea what her real middle name was and I didn’t care. It didn’t matter anymore, because she was gone once and for all. I told myself that anyway but it was a lie .

Because I cared a fucking lot .

The best night of my life. The best day after. And the best week, ever. Two weeks really .

Probably the best two weeks in the history of the world. Up until the minute she disappeared anyway. Poof. Just like that she was gone .

We hadn’t gotten out of bed for days other than to eat and shower. I’d been crazy for her. Head over heels. Gushing like a fucking girl .

And she’d ghosted me .

Me. All 6’3” inches of solid muscle, slowly collecting ink. Girls threw themselves at me on the regular, even with my scars. But her ?

She turned tail and ran .

I was the rare guy who rode and still opened doors for a lady. Well, Dev, Donnie and Jack did too, but only once they met their ladies. Before that, they hadn’t exactly been gentlemanly .

I’d grown up doing it .

I still liked to raise hell though. I just didn’t do it around women. Not even the club skanks, who I felt worried for more than anything .

I blew the air out from between my lips .

Yeah, so she’d ditched me, and right before I did something crazy. Like propose. Not even joking, I’d been about to .

Yeah, after two weeks .

I’d been on the brink of asking Becky to marry me. Seriously. Not a crazed, sex-fueled thing, though the sex had been insanely fucking good .

So good, I hadn’t touched a woman since. I hadn’t even thought about it. If I couldn’t have paradise, I didn’t see the fucking point .

No word from her. Not even Kaylie knew where she was. And Mae wouldn’t tell me. In fact, she had stopped serving me altogether .

I still went in though. And drove past it multiple times a day. I always offered to pick up orders for the club .

Not even a hint about where Becky was. Or why she had left. And not knowing had kept me up nights. Just about all the nights. I’d spent every damn night staring at the ceiling since she disappeared .

What the hell had I done to upset her? Did she get spooked by how head over heels I was? Or maybe she just didn’t feel the same way ?

The crazy thing was, I was sure she did. I’d seen the same goofy love struck look in her eyes as I had in mine. We were two fools, that much was certain. Cooing over each other and talking in baby talk. We were sickening .

But there was no way she was faking that. She loved me, or she had while we were together. I knew it without a doubt .

Maybe… just maybe… she didn’t want to love me. So she put the breaks on, even though she cared about me so much .

Maybe it was because of what I was .

Who I was .

A dirty, fucking outlaw biker .

“Okay, ten more minutes. Have a shot .”

I ignored the shot Callaway poured for me and grabbed the bottle. Glug, glug motherfucker. I was getting shit-faced tonight .

Just like I did most nights .

Every fucking night since she left .