I quickened my stride and sat down on the bench beside Easton, putting my hand on his knee.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head but didn't say anything, and when I looked at him, it broke my heart. His lips were trembling as he stared straight ahead at the street lamp, tears streaming down his face.

"Oh no, Easton, what happened?" I instinctively put my arms around him.

He didn't say anything at first, just clung to me like I was his lifeline as his body shook with the light sobs he was trying to suppress.

"Easton?" I asked.

He shook his head and pulled himself away, and this time, he looked at me with his watery eyes.

He swiped a hand across his face. "She didn't want to talk to me."

"What?" I went still, not believing what I thought he'd just said. "She didn't want to talk to you? How—? Why—?"

He shrugged, tears trickling down his cheeks and his lips still quivering with emotion. "She told me I shouldn't have come. She didn't want to see me or be reminded of her past."

I shook my head and raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't make any sense."

He let out a shaky breath and raised his hands at his side. "She said this wasn't the place to talk to her, and that I needed to move on with my life and forget about her."

"How could you forget about her? She's your mom."

"I don't know. And I didn't really know what to say to her, either." He sniffled. "I didn't expect her to respond the way she did. I thought things would go so much better."

I sat there in shock for a moment. "I'm so sorry. Never in a million years did I think it would go like that."

He nodded, and his tears slowed. "I don't know why I even tried this. I haven't seen or heard from her in forever. Of course, she didn't want to see me."

How could his mom treat him like this? He was her son. Her only son.

Just like the baby I was carrying was my son, too.

Was this how my baby would feel when he found out he was adopted? Was I as bad as Easton’s mom?

I put my hand on his shoulder and rubbed his back, pushing those thoughts away. This was different. She was in her twenties when she had Easton. She'd been married to his dad.

"Don't question yourself," I said, not knowing if I was talking more to myself than to him. "You had good intentions. Of course you were curious. I would be if I were you."

He nodded again. "My dad always said we should just forget about her. But I never understood why."

Would my baby's adoptive parents tell him to forget about me, too?

We were quiet for a moment, and then he said, "You know what the worst thing is?"

"What?"

"When I asked her if she had ever thought about us, or regretted leaving us, she said she never did. She never regretted it even once."

My heart hardened in my chest. "I think I'm going to go slap that woman right now."

He reached out and grabbed my hand before I could stomp off. "It won't do anything, Juliette."

"It'll make me feel better. How could she say that to you? I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt all these years, but maybe she really is just a horrible person."

He sighed and slumped down against the bench. "I don't think I'll be missing her much anymore."

"Wanna get out of here?" I asked.

"Yeah, let's go home." He stood and held his hand out. I hesitated, not sure what he meant by this gesture. We had held hands in the coffee shop because he was nervous. Was this just like that again? Or was something else behind it?

I took his hand and let him help me to my feet, deciding that I didn't need to figure it out right now.

We were quiet again on the ride home, each lost in our own thoughts. I didn't really feel like bringing up what had happened back there with his mom but figured he was probably thinking about it. So we listened to music all the way back to Ridgewater. The baby started kicking, so I put my hand on my stomach to see if I could feel it. His kicks had been getting stronger and stronger lately, and it was kind of fun...if not scary at the same time.

Easton glanced at me and down at my stomach. "Is the baby kicking?"

I nodded. "I think he liked my sandwich too, because he's been kicking like crazy."

"It did look tasty, though I'm not sure how it tastes secondhand." Easton smiled, and I was glad to have a lighthearted moment after such a heavy one. "So, you put your hand on your stomach—does that mean you can feel the kicks on the outside now?"

I looked down at my stomach briefly before turning back to him. "Yeah, it's been pretty fun to feel him getting stronger. It no longer feels like little fluttery movements. Instead, it's more like these tiny little punches."

"I think I remember Maddie talking about that. I always wondered what it would feel like to have something moving around inside. But I guess I'll never really know."

I laughed. "Yeah, let's hope you never figure that out. Because I think you look a lot better as a guy."

"Just like you look a lot better as a girl."

I couldn't keep my cheeks from blushing at his comment and was thankful for the dark.

He cleared his throat. "I'm proud of you for going back to school this week even with how hard it's been. You aren't regretting it too much, are you?"

"Kind of." I sighed.

"Yeah?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, I'm hoping some other scandal happens on Monday to make everyone forget about me."

"We could always announce that I tried to talk to my long-lost mom this weekend and got turned away."

I let my eyes linger on his face, our eyes locking in understanding for a moment. "I guess that's one way to remind me that I'm not the only one who has problems, huh?"

"I was joking, Juliette." He reached over and grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. "But you're really strong, you'll get through this. And for what it's worth, I'm here if you need me."

Our hands fit so perfectly together, and I couldn't help but think his hand in mine just felt right.

"Thank you." And the meaningful look on his face made my stomach do a flip. He was being so sincere and sweet even after what he'd just experienced.

He held my hand the rest of the way to my house, and I found myself watching the clock, wishing that the drive home would go on and on. This moment was just too nice to say goodbye to.

But the lights of Ridgewater soon appeared, and I knew this peaceful and happy moment was coming to an end.

Why couldn't time just stand still when things were good and fast forward through the hard times? As soon as Easton dropped me off, things would go back to normal, and we'd go back to being awkward friends.

I wanted more.

A few minutes later, we pulled up to my house. and Easton parked his car in front of my yard. My heart deflated, knowing it was time for me to unbuckle and say goodnight. I released my seatbelt and put my hand on the door handle.

He cleared his throat. "Is it okay if I walk you to your door?"

My chest lightened. Maybe he wanted to hold on to this moment as much as I did.

Or maybe he just wanted to make sure I didn't slip on the ice and hurt the baby. He'd been doing a lot of that this week.

Before I could answer, he climbed out and jogged around to the other side, and then opened my door.

"Such a gentleman." I smiled at him.

"I don't know if I'd go that far." He winked. He didn't take my hand again as we walked up the sidewalk to my house, and I tried not to feel sad about that. It had probably just been a fluke in the car and at the coffee shop.

I tried the doorknob on the door to see if it was unlocked, but it wasn't. My mom had probably stayed late to help clean up the community event.

"Do you want to come inside for some hot chocolate?" I asked as I searched my purse for my keys.

Easton glanced at the front door, a wary look on his face. "I should probably go home."

Shut down.

Ouch, that hurt.

I couldn't look at his face, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Okay. Well, thanks for walking me to the door."

Where are my keys? I dug through my purse more urgently. I needed to get inside and hide now.

He cleared his throat. "I-it's not that I don't want to, but, um, I'm just trying to follow my dad's rules of not being alone in a girl's house."

Okay. Maybe he wasn't completely shooting me down.

"That's probably a good rule," I said when I couldn't think of anything else.

"Yeah."

When I didn't find my keys in my bag, I dug through my coat pockets. But they were empty.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I must have left my keys in my room."

"So you're locked out?" he asked.

"I'll have to go through the garage, I guess."

I typed in the code and the garage door lifted. Easton followed me inside.

I tried the door that went into my house, and thankfully, the knob twisted open. "Success!" I said before turning back to him. "Thanks for making sure I got inside okay."

"Thanks for coming with me to Ithaca. It was good to have someone there."

"Anytime."

And now would be the time for me to go inside my house. But my boots seemed glued to the cement step. Saying goodbye or goodnight to Easton had always been hard.

He didn't seem in a hurry to leave either, because he wasn't stepping away. He just looked at me with those soulful eyes of his.

But why?

I sighed. It didn't matter why. I was going inside now. I would lift one foot up, and then the other, and leave Easton alone in the garage.

I turned away from him.

"Hey, can you wait just a second?" Easton's voice startled me before my foot could come unglued.

I turned back to him, and I hated that I probably looked super hopeful.

He shuffled forward until he was standing on the step just below me. "Can we just keep this between you and me?"

This? What was he talking about?

Was he talking about me and him...?

I shook my head. "I don't want to have any more secret relationships, Easton. It never ends well."

His brow furrowed. "Secret relationship?"

"You wanted to keep this between just us." I pointed to myself and then to him.

That was what he'd been talking about, right?

Realization dawned on his face. "Oh, I was talking about us going to visit my mom. I was just making sure you weren't going to tell Lexi."

"Ooooh," I said. "Well, that was awkward."

He smiled. "What did you think I was talking about?"

"Um, nothing."

I turned to head inside, horrified at how good I was at digging holes for myself to step in. But he grabbed my hand, stopping me.

"Did you think I was suggesting another secret relationship with you?" His voice was low, making my bones melt and shake at the same time.

"I just misunderstood you. Don't try reading into it." Even though he was only touching my hand, my whole body burned.

I wanted him.

He joined me on the top step. "You said you weren't into secret relationships, but what about an out in the open one?"

I pinched my lips together, feeling my eyes go wide. What was he suggesting?

Was he suggesting something?

Or was my brain just hallucinating right now?

Were pregnancy hallucinations a thing?

I needed to look that up online.

He inched closer and shut the door to my house before I could escape through it.

"Do you ever wish we could go back in time?" he asked.

I met his gaze, which was so intense it scorched my insides and scrambled my thoughts.

But regardless of whether my brain was working at full capacity or not, my mouth had always been great at mumbling a bunch of nonsense. So before I knew what I was saying, I blurted, "Um, yeah, I think it would be cool to go back in time. I'd love to see if cavemen were real or watch Jane Austen as she wrote her novels and see if there was an actual Mr. Darcy who inspired her—" I drew in a deep breath, hoping the oxygen would help.

"I'm not talking about time-travel. You know that's not what I meant, right?" Easton stepped even closer to me.

"Y-you didn't?" I stumbled backwards and lost my balance.

Easton reached out and grabbed me before I could fall. "No, I didn't."

"Then what did you mean?" My voice came out in a whisper.

His blue eyes pierced mine, and I almost melted into a pile of goo as he spoke. "The thing I want most right now is to pretend that we could go back in time. Back before the camping trip. Back before I said and did a lot of stupid things." He lifted his hand to my cheek and ran his thumb gently across my skin, making it tingle. "Back before I broke your heart."

"Me too," I squeaked. Oh, how I wished I could go back in time. More than I could ever let him know.

And all I could do was just stand still, watching him with scared eyes because I was so breakable right now. Everything in my life was such a mess, and Easton had the ability—with a single look or word—to either put me back together or completely crush me to pieces.

"I miss us, Juliette." His voice was low and husky. "Miss how I felt when we were together." He rested his forehead against mine. "Can we just pretend..." He released a shaky breath, his minty breath warm on my face. "I want to pretend for just a minute..." And then his lips were on mine, just the lightest of touches, but it was enough to send a pulse of electricity across every nerve ending in my body.

And it might have been completely stupid of me, but I stopped thinking about all the reasons why we couldn't be together and kissed him back.

I missed us too, and I wanted to pretend that everything was okay. Just for a moment.

I curled my fingers into his hair and pulled myself closer to him. And when he wrapped his arms around my waist, it felt even better than I had remembered.

He kissed me again, soft and slow, his lips weaving a spell over my mind that I didn't have the willpower to resist, and we fell into an easy rhythm as our mouths seemed to remember exactly what to do.

His hands pressed into the base of my back as they'd done many times before, telling me he was strong and secure. I could trust him.

"Tell me you missed me, Juliette," he whispered against my lips.

"I missed you," I admitted. I'd missed him so much.

He deepened the kiss and my brain went foggy. It was like I was waking up from a bad dream and nothing had actually gone wrong between us.

His hands moved in slow circles along my spine until they came to rest on my hips.

It was then that I immediately snapped back to reality and remembered why I couldn't kiss Easton.

I was pregnant. I needed to keep my distance, not jump into his arms.

"Stop. Wait." I pushed myself away from him.

He went still, so still it was like he was a statue, and when I stepped back farther to create space between us, I saw pain reflected in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, hurt apparent in his voice.

I shook my head, trying to reign in my emotions and not burst into tears over the fact that the last few moments had been perfect but couldn't ever be repeated.

"I can't pretend with you, Easton," my voice cracked with emotion.

"Why?"

"Because things are different now. I..." I drifted off, knowing I couldn't explain.

"Is it because you're pregnant?"

I looked up at him, scared that he had figured it out somehow. "Yes..." I said cautiously.

He took my hands in his. "That doesn't matter to me anymore. I know I reacted badly at first, but I got over it. It wasn't my place to feel betrayed. We weren't together."

I shook my head. He was being too nice.

"Don't shake your head like you don't think I'm sincere," he said, misunderstanding me.

"I'm not."

"Then why are you still pushing me away?" He ran his thumbs over mine. "I understand that what happened between us made you do things you wouldn't have normally done. But we could be great together. I'll help you get through this. Then once you've placed the baby up for adoption, it’ll be like this never happened. Things can go back to normal."

I looked away, feeling the tears press at the back of my eyes. "You don't understand, Easton. It can't go back to how it was before."

I needed to just leave him before all my secrets came spilling out. I drew in a shaky breath. "I think you should leave."

I pulled my hands from his and opened the door to my house and went inside. But he followed right behind me, flicking on the light in the kitchen. "I'm not going until you tell me what's actually going on." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "Is it the Paris guy? Are you in love with him?"

"No. Of course not."

He didn't look like he believed me. "Then why? I felt the way you were kissing me back there. That was real. As real as any kiss we've ever shared."

"It was pretend."

Anger flashed in his eyes and his jaw flexed. "Are you ever going to forgive me, Juliette? I said I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can do." His head fell back as he looked up at the ceiling in defeat.

"I know. It's me."

He lifted his hands at his sides. "How is it you? Because I've seen the way you've looked at me. It hollows out my stomach and makes me crazy at the same time."

"I'm not the same girl I used to be."

He stepped closer. "How?" This time he was demanding, and his voice was getting louder, angrier. "How are you so much different? Is it because I'm not cultured enough? Because I don't speak another language and haven't ever been to a foreign country like you?"

I shook my head, so frustrated because he wasn't just letting this go easily. "It's because I'm tired of lying to you. And if we were together, it would just get even worse."

"You're lying to me?"

"Of course I am." I threw my hands in the air. "Do you really think I could sleep with some guy in Paris when I was still in love with you?"

His jaw dropped, and I covered my mouth before I could say anything more.

"What are you saying, Juliette?" His eyes tightened with fear.

I had said too much. I had just told him I hadn't slept with a guy in Paris.

I shook my head, my hand still over my mouth. How could I ruin all my months of planning in a matter of seconds?

Easton stepped closer. "Are you saying that the..." He pointed to my stomach and swallowed. "Are you saying that...that the baby is mine?"

My heart raced and my chest felt tight, making it hard to breathe, and then everything suddenly went black.