Easton and I walked home from the park after being interrupted by the policeman, neither of us saying anything about the almost kiss.

At least I thought we had almost kissed. I couldn't really know for sure, though, since it hadn't actually happened.

Hopefully, it hadn't all just been in my imagination, anyway. If so, I really might need to look into pregnancy hallucinations.

"Thanks for going on a walk with me." I pulled my house key out of my pocket as we stepped onto the front porch of my house.

He dipped his head down. "I'm glad we went. It was cool to feel the baby kicking. He seems so much more real now."

"He does." Which was scary and kind of exciting at the same time.

I wanted to ask how he felt about the baby now that he had felt him kick. But I wasn't sure whether I really wanted to know his answer because I still wasn't sure what I wanted it to be. A huge part of me was still overwhelmed with the thought of keeping the baby and raising him. There were so many things in my life that were not known yet. And most times, when I did think about keeping the baby, I mostly envisioned Easton...and then the baby as an afterthought.

That probably wasn't the best sign for someone on the precipice of becoming a mother.

"I better go," Easton said. "My dad is expecting me."

"Good night," I said, even though I didn't want to say goodbye just yet.

"Good night, Juliette. I'll see you tomorrow." And before I knew what was happening, Easton stepped closer and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

My skin warmed and tingled where his lips had been, and I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I covered my cheek with my hand and was happy to see him return my smile.

"Sleep well." He looked at me bashfully before stepping off the porch and disappearing into the night.

I slept in the next morning after having tossed and turned most of the night. It seemed like my best sleep came after six a.m., so I was grateful that it was Saturday and that I didn't have to get up early for school.

The doorbell rang below as I brushed my teeth after my shower. A moment later, my mom's voice called up the stairs, "You have a visitor, Juliette."

I frowned and set my toothbrush back in its decorative holder, wondering who would be at my house on a Saturday morning.

I walked down the stairs in my pajamas. Standing in the frame of the front door was Easton, holding a huge curved pillow-type thing in his hands.

"Hi, Easton." I gave him a confused look.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

I made it to the bottom of the stairs. "Rotten for the first half of the night, and okay for the last half."

"I assumed that might be the case." He stepped forward and held out the pillow to me. "I heard you talking to Lexi earlier this week about how you have to use about a zillion pillows just to get comfortable. So I went online and found this. It just came in the mail this morning."

The white pillow was shaped like a funky-looking pair of stuffed giant pants. "What is that?"

He smiled. "It's a maternity pillow. According to all the pregnancy forums online, this is a lifesaver."

I took the pillow from his hand and checked the tag, which showed a picture of a woman lying on the bed with the pillow tucked under her head, behind her back, and then also between her legs. It was like she was sleeping with an upside-down "U."

But she had a soft smile on her face that would lead anyone to believe she was sleeping peacefully and dreaming wonderful dreams.

Easton cleared his throat. "Anyway, I just thought it might be something worth trying out." Now he looked uncomfortable. I didn't want him to regret bringing this to me.

So I put a grateful smile on my face. "This is super thoughtful. You're the best." I hugged the pillow to my chest. "I'm excited to give this a try tonight."

He nodded and smiled back, relief on his face. He stepped back. "Anyway, I'm just on my way to work, but I thought I'd drop that off first in case you wanted to take a nap this afternoon."

My chest warmed. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

After he left, I shut the door and leaned against it, sighing and hugging the pillow. Easton really was a great guy. I would be the luckiest girl in the world if things ended up working out between us.

My mom came into the room, concern in her eyes. "What was that about?" She was sipping a mug of hot chocolate.

I held out the maternity pillow for her to see. "Easton brought this over for me."

"And what is that?" Mom furrowed her brow.

"It's a maternity pillow. Easton said it should help me sleep better."

She nodded and blew into her mug. "That was very thoughtful of him."

"He's a thoughtful guy."

Mom pinched her lips together, as if hesitating in saying what she was thinking.

"I know you're thinking something, Mom. What is it?"

"I'm just wondering where you're at right now. You and Easton have been spending a lot of time together this week, and I'm worried that's what made you change your mind about things." She sighed. "I know the Stevens family, and I know how strongly they feel about stuff like this."

"Easton's not a bad guy, Mom."

She leaned against the wall that split the entryway from the kitchen. "I never said he was a bad guy."

"Then what are you saying?" I asked, suddenly defensive.

"I'm just saying I remember the pressure that Maddie went through when she was pregnant, and I just—" She waved her hand in the air. "I don't want you to feel pressured into keeping the baby if that's not what you really want."

Had she been, like, eavesdropping on my conversation with Easton earlier this week? How could she even know I was rethinking things? I hadn't told anyone about it.

"A few weeks ago, you told me you wanted to find an adoptive couple that both you and Easton agreed on, but have you even been looking, Juliette?"

I looked down, not wanting to answer her.

"I know this is a hard decision," she continued. "But the baby will be here in less than six weeks, possibly even less if he comes early. You need to make these decisions now."

I leaned my head back against the door and sighed, feeling overwhelmed at all the decisions I had to make and the ticking time bomb that was about to go off inside me. I blinked my eyes shut and released a long breath. "I know, Mom. I'm trying to figure this all out. There's just a lot."

When I opened my eyes again, she was looking at me with understanding and compassion in her face. "I know it's not an easy thing, honey. But I want you to think really hard and long about what you want. Just you. You’re the one who needs to make this decision for yourself, and you’re the one who’ll have to live with that decision for the rest of your life. I know you and Easton have a history, and he is a nice boy. But that is just one piece of the puzzle. Raising a child is hard. It's not something that should be taken lightly. It’s a big decision to make, and once made, you’ll have to live with the consequences, both good and bad."

"I know how consequences work, Mom." I was pregnant, for goodness' sake.

"I know, Juliette." She came to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "I just want you to think long and hard about why you would keep the baby versus why you'd place him up for adoption. It's a big deal. And I'm here to support you with whatever you decide. But I do feel like I need to remind you that raising a child is an eighteen-year-and-beyond commitment. If you're going to do it, I want it to be for the right reasons."

"So, in other words, right now you're thinking I'm considering it for the wrong reasons?"

"I think you might be trying to please someone else because you're afraid of losing him."

I looked down, feeling my cheeks burn because she was spot on. My mom knew me better than I thought.

She dropped her hand from my shoulder and shrugged. "Having a baby brings in a lot of difficult things—and having raised you on my own for the most part, I can tell you that it wasn't easy. I had your dad for the first few years of your life, but then I was doing it on my own, and I can't tell you how many times I wished to have him back—because I loved him, yes—but also because it would’ve been so nice to share the difficulties of life with someone. I just don't want that to happen to you. I don't regret having you, but I can't pretend like it was always easy. I just want you to keep that in mind."

"Of course I don't think it’ll be easy. That's why I'm really thinking this through."

She pulled me into a hug. "I just want what's best for my baby. I want you to live the life you wanted to live, without regrets."

"But what if I decide I want to place the baby up for adoption, and Easton decides he wants to keep him?" Tears pricked at the back of my eyes. "Am I supposed to just pretend like it doesn't affect me, and like the baby was never mine?"

Mom pulled away and looked me square in the eyes. "I think it's important for you to talk to Easton about why exactly he wants to keep the baby. There's a big difference between doing something out of duty and doing something because that's what you really feel inside your soul is the right thing for you to do."

I shook my head, not wanting to think about all these things. I wiped at a tear that had escaped out of the corner of my eye and sighed heavily. "Making adult decisions is hard."

She nodded. "I know, honey. That's why I'm so worried about you having to make them while you're still just a teen."

I shook my head and hugged my maternity pillow to my chest. "I'm gonna go back to bed for a while," I said, suddenly feeling exhausted.

A minute later, I dropped the pillow onto the bed and climbed in the middle of it, letting its softness comfort me in my confusion.

I couldn't deny that what my mom said made sense. Was I only entertaining the thought of keeping the baby because I was afraid I'd lose Easton without the baby tying us together? Or did I really want to be a mom to this sweet boy?

The uneasy feeling inside my stomach told me I knew the answer. I was only considering keeping the baby because I didn't want to lose Easton. But deep down inside, I knew I wasn't ready to be a mother. At this point in my life I couldn't give a baby what he needed: a mom who wanted to be a mom.

I was such a horrible and selfish person.

Did I really not have a single maternal bone in my body?

I closed my eyes as guilt washed over me. I knew what I needed to do. And doing it would risk fracturing the already unsteady surface Easton and I were standing on.

I needed to have another hard conversation with Easton and see if we could work things out in a way that was best for everyone.

I just hoped I wouldn't lose everything in the process.