My phone chimed as I sat in an exam room at Dr. Gunthrie's office.

Lexi: You're so lucky you don't have to come to school this week. I'm so ready for Christmas break.

The doctor knocked on the door a second later, so I quickly responded to Lexi, reminding her she only had four and a half days left until freedom. Then I tossed my phone to my mom who sat in the chair beside me, reading one of the many prenatal magazines in the room.

Dr. Gunthrie walked in with a big smile on her face. She looked to be in her fifties and had pink streaks in her brown hair. The nurse in purple scrubs who had helped me earlier followed behind her.

"Hello, Juliette," the doctor said, her voice much more upbeat than I’d expected. I’d always imagined doctors who were seeing pregnant teens to act a lot more solemn, or disapproving—like my mom had been when I told her the news. "I'm Dr. Gunthrie." She held a hand out for me to shake. "It's good to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too." Though I wasn't nearly as excited as she was.

She looked down at the tablet in her hand. "It shows here that you think you're about eighteen weeks along. Is that correct?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yeah." That was what popped up in my notifications on Saturday, anyway.

"Great." She pulled a machine out of a drawer. "This is a fetal doppler. We'll see if we can get a good listen to the baby's heartbeat."

The nurse came to the side of the bed and helped me get all ready. My stomach muscles clenched when she squeezed some warm jelly-type stuff on my belly.

A moment later, the doctor put the doppler thing on my stomach.

I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling, not sure I was ready to hear the heartbeat. I shouldn't have a heartbeat in my stomach.

The machine made a weird screechy sound, kind of like I was a radio and the doctor was trying to find the right station. And then, a whooshing, beating sound that came through loud and clear.

I checked Dr. Gunthrie’s face for any sign that things were not normal. What I found instead was a big smile. "Your baby has a good strong heartbeat. Clocking in at about 151 beats per minute."

I wanted to look at my mom, to see her reaction to all of this...but then I didn’t know what I'd see in her expression—worry, disappointment, fear—so I just stared at the ceiling again.

With each beat of my baby's little heart, a thick wave of reality coursed over me.

There really was a baby inside there.

Up until this point I only had the little fluttery feeling inside me and the morning sickness. Those could have been passed off as gas bubbles and a really weird case of the flu. But this...this was real.

I drew in a deep breath, trying to get control over my emotions before a panic attack could hit. There was a real baby inside me. And it would only get bigger and bigger until I had to somehow push it out.

I blinked my eyes shut, trying to get the image of a baby ripping itself out of me from my mind.

I wasn't ready for this.

The doctor finished up our appointment and gave me a few forms—one for a lab order for a bunch of blood-work she said was typical for any pregnant woman, and the other for an ultrasound that would tell me whether the baby was a boy or girl.

"Just talk to the radiology department at the hospital and see if they can get you in within the next couple of weeks. I usually like to have the ultrasounds taken at twenty weeks."

I nodded and thanked her. That would be the week after Christmas. I could get the ultrasound done here, and then go to Grandma Irene's for the rest of my pregnancy.

I handed the papers to my mom as we walked out the door, feeling too overwhelmed with what was happening.

"I think I need to sit down," I told Mom once we made it to the main waiting area.

She gave me a look of understanding. "Take a seat. I'll schedule your next appointment while you rest."

I found a seat and pulled out my phone, hoping it could distract me for a few minutes.

"It can be a little overwhelming, can't it?" a woman said, startling me. She was a seat away from me, had blonde hair, and looked to be in her thirties. And from the size of her stomach, I guessed she was just a little further along in her pregnancy than I was.

"That's an understatement." I released a heavy sigh.

She gave me a warm smile that reached her eyes. "But it's a miracle. Every baby is a miracle."

I tried not to roll my eyes. Pretty sure a miracle would have been if I hadn't gotten pregnant the one time I had sex. "Yep."

"I'm guessing this is your first?"

Did I look like I had babies regularly? "Yeah. Can't say I have done anything like this before. I usually prefer to play basketball for my high school team this time of year."

She smiled and rubbed a hand over her stomach with such a loving look on her face. And it made me feel guilty that I wasn't like her. My baby deserved to have a mom like this woman. Someone who was so excited at the prospect of becoming a mother.

Not someone who was doing everything she could to hide it from everyone in her life.

"This is my first, too. Not for lack of trying." When I said nothing, she continued. "My husband and I have been trying for eight years. This baby is a true miracle. The doctor said I'd probably never be able to get pregnant, but here I am."

Women like her probably hated girls like me who got pregnant without thinking about it.

A door to the waiting area opened, and a nurse stepped through. "Nadia?" she called out the next patient’s name.

The lady beside me picked up her purse from the floor and nodded to the nurse. "That's me." She stood to leave, but just before she walked past me, she said, "Have a great day. I'm proud of you for choosing the baby. I know it must have been a really hard choice."

And then she left, leaving me feeling a little better than I had a moment before. Maybe in the string of bad choices I'd made, I was actually making a good choice for once. Not an easy choice, of course, but maybe my bad choices could end up being a blessing to someone like Nadia who had a hard time having babies of their own.

"I thought Easton was supposed to be with Mercedes," I whispered to Lexi when Noah and Easton walked up from the basement at her house later that afternoon, laughing about something. I had just woken up from a nap twenty minutes ago, emotionally exhausted after my visit to the doctor. And since I didn’t expect to see Easton this afternoon, I hadn't really taken the time to make myself look more presentable.

"I told him we were planning our snowboarding trip after school. I guess he canceled his plans with her."

I quickly ran a hand through my hair before he could look my way. But it probably wouldn't do much good, anyway. My roots were about two inches long now, and I really needed to dye my hair again. The grayish-blonde color had been fun when I was feeling rebellious or trying to catch my best friend's brother's eye, but now I was pregnant. I couldn't help but feel I should try to blend in as much as I could.

Lexi noticed my primping and gave me a knowing look. "I thought you weren't interested in guys."

"I'm not," I whispered back, hoping the guys were too distracted by their conversation to hear us.

Lexi leaned closer and whispered over my shoulder. "He canceled his plans with Mercedes. Pretty sure there's a chance."

I swatted her away and pushed as serene a look as I could muster onto my face as the boys joined us in the living room.

"So Lexi tells me you want to go snowboarding this weekend," Noah said, dropping down into the recliner beside Lexi's end of the couch.

"Yep." Though I was pretty sure I'd never said that, since I was planning to pretend to be sick once we got there.

"Did she tell you about my dad's cabin?" Noah asked. "I haven't been there in years, but from what I remember it's right off the main hill. He says we can hang there during the day if we want."

"Sounds great," I said. If I had no choice but to come up, then I’d have to pack a book or download shows in my tablet to keep me entertained—because I’d have to make a sudden excuse to stay off the slopes all day.

"Is Mercedes coming?" Lexi asked Easton who had sat on the loveseat across from us. I couldn't miss the way she not-so-discreetly eyed me as she did so.

He shifted in his seat and tugged on his jeans. "She can't make it. Her family’s going to Vermont that morning."

Why did I suddenly feel lightheaded at the prospect of her being out of the state and off his mind for the next two weeks?

Lexi's smile got bigger. "That's too bad." Her words were in perfect contrast to the look on her face.

Noah leaned forward and rubbed his hands together. "Anyway, what time do you want to leave?"

I shrugged, since it didn't matter to me.

Lexi spoke up first. "How about eight? That way we can get there right as the lifts are opening."

"Works for me," Easton said. And my heart stuttered when I noticed his gaze wander to me for a moment.

What did he think of spending the day with me? He had to be thinking something. As much as Lexi said she would hang out with me and have the guys hang out together, I got the feeling she would actually try a little more matchmaking while we were gone.

"How long do you think your dad would be okay with you being gone that day?" Noah asked Lexi.

She shrugged. "I don't know. If Easton's coming with us, he'll probably be fine if we're there until dark."

"Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure about dad being super confident in my chaperoning skills right now," Easton said, his gaze flickering to me again.

Did that mean he followed through with what he'd said yesterday and had told his dad about us? What if he had changed his mind and decided to bring me down with him?

My stomach felt like it was filled up with bricks.

I checked the time on my phone. It was just barely after three. What time did his dad get home? How soon did I need to get out of here before he bit off my head for helping his son go over to the dark side?

"What time does your dad get home from work these days, anyway?" My voice cracked with anxiety.

Lexi gave me a confused expression. "Five or six. Why?"

I put my hand over my chest, hoping it would help to calm my racing heart. "Just wondering."

When she continued to give me a weird look, I cleared my throat. "I'm just...super thirsty. Mind if I go grab a glass of water?”

"Go ahead," Lexi said, still frowning, probably worried about me.

In the kitchen, I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it a fourth of the way with ice before adding water. When Easton joined me a moment later, I startled and almost dropped my drink.

Working hard to keep my hand from shaking, I took a sip of my water, and tried not to watch Easton as he filled a glass of his own.

He took a drink and leaned against the counter across from me. Then he pressed his lips together and watched me for a minute.

"Worried about seeing my dad?" he said when I finally stopped gulping down my water.

I wiped the excess moisture from my lips with the sleeve of my sweater. "Um, yeah." I quickly looked behind me to make sure Lexi or Noah hadn't decided to come up, too. "I'm kind of freaking out about seeing your dad again after your comment on how he wouldn't trust you as a chaperone anymore. Just exactly how mad is he right now?"

Easton set his water on the counter behind him. "Well, I'd say he's somewhere between wanting to punch a hole in the wall and sending me off to an all-boy school."

I felt the blood drain from my face. I knew he would be upset, but it sounded like it had gone horribly wrong.

Then Easton's lip quirked up into a half smile. "I'm exaggerating, Juliette."

"You are?"

He took another long drink from his glass and set it on the side of the sink then stepped closer. He lowered his voice. "I won't pretend like he wasn't upset. He was really disappointed. But he didn't get mad or yell like I expected him to."

"He didn't yell?" Wasn't that what a drill sergeant did best?

Easton looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "No, he said he had actually been worried that this might be the case for some time. He figured this might be why I didn't try to replace my purity ring after losing it at the camp-out."

"But you didn't tell him it was with me, right?" I needed the reassurance even though he told me he wouldn't mention my name yesterday.

He shook his head. "No."

"But I'm guessing he's taking away your college tuition then?"

He cast his eyes down, and I couldn't help but cross my arms over my stomach as a reflex. I was wearing a baggy sweater today, but talking about this just made it seem so obvious that I should be pregnant. We hadn't used any sort of protection.

"He didn't say anything about it. But I think it was more so that he wouldn't be adding insult to injury, since he already knew how hard it was for me to tell him." He sighed and met my gaze again.

"Sorry," I said, his blue eyes making my knees feel hollowed out, weak. I gripped the counter to keep myself upright.

He nodded. "He was just relieved when I told him I hadn't gotten anyone pregnant or anything."

I swallowed the huge rock that had lodged itself in my throat. "That would have been bad."

He ran a hand through his hair. "That's an understatement."

I forced a smile on my lips, though all I wanted to do was run out of the room and hide before he could figure out the truth.

"I kind of feel bad for Lexi though,” he said. “I think a huge part of why Dad's so paranoid about her is because he’d guessed this about me a while ago. Two out of his three kids have fallen. Those aren't great odds."

And he didn't even know the half of it.

"But Lexi is smart. She knows what she's doing," I said.

He nodded. "She is. And I'm sure Noah doesn't want to risk the wrath of my dad and attempt anything, either."

If only I'd been as smart.

An awkward silence hung in the air as neither of us seemed to know what to say.

"Anyway," he started. "It's kind of a relief not to have to worry about my dad finding out anymore."

"I'm glad you feel better. And thank you for not mentioning my name. I really appreciate it."

"Of course." He bit his lip. "And I know we—"

"Are you guys coming back anytime soon, or did you turn into camels?"

I jumped at the sound of Lexi's voice calling to us from the living room.

"Coming!" I yelled to her. Then I turned back to Easton, hoping he might finish his sentence. It sounded like it might be an important one.

But he was digging through the cupboard, probably thinking a snack or some candy would keep Noah and Lexi from asking us questions about why our drink break took so long.

"Sorry, guys. You caught us sneaking candy again," he said in a loud voice over his shoulder so that Lexi and Noah could hear him.

It was a trick he'd used a few times last summer when we'd snuck off to some corner of his house to make-out for a minute.

"Think chocolate-covered blueberries will make a good cover this time?" he asked in a quieter voice, coming out with a white zippered bag.

The sight of that particular candy, which I only ever saw at his house, instantly transported me back to the lazy afternoons of last summer.

He probably didn't even realize what he'd done until our eyes met and my whole body burned when he looked at me. Was he remembering the same things I was? Him pushing me against the wall by the laundry room and kissing me until my mind went foggy. Me saying our secret code word, and then meeting in their back porch for a minute because sitting on the couch opposite from him as we hung out with Noah and Lexi had made me crazy, and I just needed a few minutes in his arms to satiate the hunger I had for him.

I tried to blink those memories away and urged the heat flashing across my face to cool.

We had been so dangerous—a wildfire that had been too hot to keep from burning out of control before inevitably, the only thing left for it to do was to burn out.

"I think the chocolate blueberries should work fine. She knows how I can't resist them," I said, holding out a shaky hand for the bag and scooping up a handful of the dark brown candy.

"I remember that, too." He took the bag back, and unlike Saturday’s hot chocolate exchange, he wasn't careful to keep our hands from brushing against each other.

When I looked at his face, his cheeks seemed pinker than they’d been a moment before. He pulled out a handful for himself.

"We better get back in there," I said, before I could do anything stupid. I needed to stop being so attracted to the guy I was keeping such a huge secret from. I needed to remember how badly he had hurt me before I left, and that he would just hurt me again if he ever found out the truth.