I barely sleep at all. After our make out session on the beach, Jonah drove me home and kissed me goodnight. Now, I lay awake in bed replaying those few minutes over and over in my head. He’d grinned at me, his face glowing from the dome light in his Lexus. I had my passenger door open, my foot on the ground, but I wasn’t ready to leave the car yet.

“So,” he’d said after kissing me softly on the lips. “Tomorrow we go back to school.”

“Well, it is Thursday,” I said. “So that sounds about right.”

He grinned. “Will everything be different now?”

Now that we’ve kissed, he meant, even though he didn’t say it. I nodded. “Yes.”

“Is that a good thing?”

I could see the hesitation behind his eyes, the momentary panic that maybe our kissing excursion was a bad, bad idea. But after the few weeks I’ve had getting to know him, and realizing how stupid I’d been in liking some asshole like Caleb, I knew it wasn’t a bad idea.

It was a perfect idea.

“It’s a really good thing,” I said.

And then, because Jonah is not at all like Caleb and the other guys who treat girls like shit, Jonah had texted me goodnight.

I grab my phone from my nightstand and read it again.

 

Jonah: Goodnight :)

 

My heart floods with warm mushy feelings every time I read it. But now it’s almost one in the morning, and I desperately need to sleep so I have enough energy to stay awake tomorrow morning. Somehow, I manage to fall asleep, and before I know it, my alarm is buzzing and it’s Thursday morning, and it’s time to face another day at school.

As I’m getting dressed—and spending a little too much time on my appearance for Jonah’s sake—my phone beeps. I set down my flat iron.

 

April: Migraine… kill me… not going to school…

Me: Ugh, I’m sorry! Feel better!

 

I study myself in the mirror, feeling a little guilty at how relieved I am over April’s text. Not about her migraine—I feel horrible about that. She has this condition where she gets one about once a month, and it’s so bad she can’t function. She just takes these prescription migraine pills that make her feel sick and only reduce about half of the pain and she lays in her room all day with the windows covered to block out the sun.

That part makes me feel really bad for her, because it’s a terrible condition to have. But I’m also relieved because I didn’t know how to act around her today. I mean…I kissed Jonah.

I’m totally not looking forward to hearing her jump around and sing the I Told You So song when she finds out. My phone beeps again.

 

Jonah: Good morning! Would you and April like a ride to school?

 

A boy who texts goodnight and good morning? What is this strange feeling I have? Oh, right. It’s called being treated with respect.

 

I’m grinning so hard my cheeks hurt as I type out a reply to his message.

 

Me: April is sick today, but I don’t want you to go out of your way. I can walk. :)

Jonah: It’s not out of my way. What time should I be there?

Me: Where do you live?

Jonah: Off 4th St….

Me: That’s totally far away!!

Jonah: So?

 

I bite the inside of my lip in a futile attempt to stop smiling. This boy is so sweet. I tell him he can come get me but only for today because I don’t want him going out of his way every day of the week. Plus, I’m not going to be the kind of friend who ditches her best friend when she starts dating a guy. I know April, and she wouldn’t want to be the third wheel in Jonah’s car every morning. Maybe just on the days when it rains. Besides that, we’ll keep walking to school.

I feel like walking into school with Jonah by my side will be this big event, like people will turn and watch us and we’ll be walking in slow motion down the hallways together with all eyes on us. Turns out we’re totally not even slightly popular, and no one cares. We don’t hold hands, but we walk closer than usual. I want to reach for his hand, but it’s all so new to me. Being around Jonah at the beach felt different, like we were new people outside of school. But now that I’m here with him in the familiar hallways of Sterling High, he almost feels like my annoying tutor again.

“Nat?” Jonah says just after the warning bell rings. He’s walked me to my first period class and we’re standing outside the door. “I don’t want to push anything you don’t want. Like…we don’t have to spend all day together or anything. I really like you.” He brushes my arm with his fingers as if he wants to reach for my hand but it’s too awkward and there’s no time. I grin up at him, unable to make my face stay normal for very long. Just seeing his cute expression while he figures out what to say makes me want to smile.

“I really like you too,” I say.

His cheeks redden. “If I do something you don’t like…just tell me, okay? I can slow down or give you space, or whatever.”

“Why are you so worried?” I ask, poking him in the stomach.

He shrugs. “I just want to do this right. I want to make you happy. Not rush into things…”

“I can practically see the list you’ve made in your head,” I tell him. “Dating is not like tutoring, Jonah. You can’t just write up a study plan and check off each step.” I give him a reassuring smile. Somehow, seeing how nervous he is makes me more confident. “We’re going to be fine.”

 

***

 

Jonah and I find each other at the start of lunch. I’d told him I wouldn’t have anyone to sit with today since April is gone and he happily offered to sit with me. I don’t know how this is going to work with our separate lunch tables, or what will happen when April comes back, but I’m looking forward to having this day alone with him.

We take our food out to the courtyard, which is a little uglier now that the school fenced in the portion around the cafeteria doors. Too many kids were caught walking off campus during their lunch break and not returning. Now we’re allowed to eat outside, but only in the designated fenced in parts.

Jonah and I choose a bench near the fence and I notice Natasha O’Hurn lift an eyebrow as we walk past her and her band friends. She doesn’t stop looking at us, even when we sit down and start eating our lunch. She probably doesn’t even realize I’m watching her watch us, because she’s looking at Jonah with an obvious hint of jealousy in her gaze.

“So your mom’s store is pretty cool,” Jonah says. He grabs a Cheeto and crunches it. “I think my mom goes in there sometimes. It has all that girly stuff she likes.”

“Well, tell her to go there more often,” I say with a snort. “And tell her to bring about five hundred rich friends to buy stuff so we don’t go out of business.”

“Are sales still bad?” he asks.

I nod and take a bite of my PB&J. “Selling books is helping, but not really. The bottom line still says we’re screwed.”

Jonah seems concerned, like he actually cares, when he asks some more questions. I get the feeling that talking sales and numbers appeals to his nerdy side, and that he’s not just asking me stuff to be polite, so I tell him all about the store. About how my mom married my ex step-dad and the store was their dream. I even tell him about Mrs. Reese the AP, and how she showed me my paper from freshman year when I wanted to open a coffee shop next door. Jonah thinks a coffee shop is a great idea since oddly, there aren’t any on the boardwalk already. Gigi’s Cupcakes sells coffee, but not many people know that, plus her store is so small it doesn’t have that sit around and enjoy your coffee vibe. My coffee shop would have that vibe.

By the time the bell rings, it only feels like we’ve been talking for a few minutes, not forty. I’ve never wanted to skip class more than I do now, so I could just stay out here with Jonah and talk all day. But now more than ever, I need to go to class. I want passing grades so that I can graduate, and so Jonah’s perfect tutoring record can remain intact.

We pick up our trash and start heading toward the cafeteria door. Natasha and her friend are still watching us, her eyes narrowed in jealousy. I can’t help but grin as I lace my arm through Jonah’s and lay my head on his shoulder as we walk.

A couple of months ago, I wouldn’t have cared one bit who Jonah Garza was dating. He was a nerd, who hung with nerds, and I didn’t want anything to do with that.

Now I see the error in my thinking. Jonah is so much more than a super-smart band-geek friend who never cuts class or gets into trouble.

He’s kind, and hot, and a great kisser. He’s patient, and clever, and he puts up with my shit. I feel like the luckiest girl in Sterling High.

My phone buzzes just after Jonah drops me off at my history class. My heart jumps with excitement as I slide out my phone and secretly check the screen under my desk. If it’s Jonah telling me he misses me already, I might melt into goo from all the sweetness.

My heart gets stuck in my throat as I look at the text. It’s not from Jonah.

 

Caleb: Hey boo, sry I was busy last nite. Wanna go out Friday?