Chapter Three
Crazy Girl comes into the quiet bar just as I’m finishing with the cleanup and shutting it down for the next couple of days. “Did you get the kids down okay?” The Sinners have gone on a short run for a few days, so the hang-arounds and whores have been kicked out until their return; the women and kids are staying here to ensure their safety while the guys are gone. Writer is the only patched-in member that stayed behind, and that’s because Ever is getting closer to her due date.
The prospects have stayed, but they know better than to get in our way, so I’m ready for this girls’ night. We haven’t had one in what seems like forever; I think the last time we all got together was when we had lunch about six months ago.
“Yeah, finally. I swear we need to put a rocking chair in Hanger’s old room. Damien, being such a momma’s boy, thinks I have to rock him to sleep, and it doesn’t go so well when we have to come stay here. Ava and Harper are used to it, so they fell asleep with no issues.” She takes a seat at the bar and runs a hand over her pulled-back pink and blonde hair. I slide a Tennessee Honey Whiskey in front of her.
Crazy Girl is one of the strongest people I have ever met. She’s been through so much; an abusive ex who left her for dead, being held hostage, miscarrying her and Hanger’s first baby, and being drugged then kidnapped. After losing the first baby, she got pregnant again with their twins girls, Ava and Harper. A couple of years later, she had their son, Damien.
“I’m going to take these dirty towels back to the laundry. I’ll be right back.” Crazy Girl nods before downing the shot of whiskey.
Grabbing the laundry basket that sits in one of the cabinets underneath the bar counter, I head towards the hallway. Jacey is just shutting the door to Bear’s old room. “Crazy Girl’s at the bar. I’m taking these back and getting Tinsley, then we’ll be up there.”
“Take those back, I’ll get Tinsley. Jesus, I’m ready for a drink,” Jacey replies and takes a few steps to the room I share with my cousin. Laughing, I continue down the hallway. I’d imagine she had a little more difficult time putting her and Bear’s kids to sleep, by the sounds of it. It might have been a little late in her pregnancy when she finally told Bear, like the day she had their son Kellen aka Cub, but I’m glad Bear didn’t miss out. From what I’ve seen, he is an amazing dad. Kelcey, their little girl, is a daddy’s girl for sure, and Cub tries to be just like his dad. Jacey is a good mom and I’m glad, because she has a bitch of a mother. But that relationship is nonexistent now, and it’s a whole other story as to why.
When I return to the bar, Jacey has helped herself to a drink, Crazy Girl has another shot in her hand, Tinsley is waiting for Jacey to get her something, and I walk behind the bar to get some tequila. The front door opens and in waddles a very eight-months-pregnant Ever, with Writer in tow. He helps her sit at the bar and I make her a glass of ice water.
Once Writer is back out the door, this girls’ night is officially on. “Is Sierra coming?” I question as I walk around the bar to take a seat.
“I talked to her earlier and she said she has a delivery tonight so she can’t make it,” Jacey talks and uses ASL for Ever.
“Do you think that’s true, or is she lying?” My brows furrow together, because I know she really doesn’t want to come back here.
“I think it’s true. She said if Hacker wasn’t here she would come, but she just can’t make it with having to be on-call for when it’s time for the baby to arrive.”
“Daphne can’t make it, either. She’s out of town. And Audrey said she wished she could, but she had something going on too. But she will be here tomorrow,” Crazy Girl tells us.
“Then I guess it’s us four.” Making sure everyone has a full shot except Ever, I say, “Raise your glasses.” This is a tradition I started by myself for when Ripper would go on runs, and the girls continued it while I was gone. “Here’s to our men being safe while they’re gone, returning to us uninjured, and fucking us like they’ve been gone a year. Girls’ night is officially started.” Crazy Girl signs so Ever doesn’t miss a word I said, and we tip our heads back and down the poison.
“Confession time, bitches!” Jacey announces. I grab the bottles of liquor and we head to the couches to get comfortable.
“Tinsley, you’re the newest member into this group of lady sinners—tell us how you like it here so far,” Crazy Girl says, probably taking it easy on her because they don’t know her real well yet.
Tinsley’s quiet voice speaks up. “I like it. It’s different here than back home, but it’s been hard trying to find a job.” Her head hangs down, and I know why; because she doesn’t have experience at anything. She’s never even had a job before. Her story is not mine to tell, but I think it would do her some good to get close to Crazy Girl.
“What are you good at? Do you have any experience with jobs?” Crazy Girl asks with furrowed brows. Her blue eyes cut to mine, and I slightly shake my head no.
“The only thing I’m good at is numbers. Always have been, but I never got the chance to go to college and get a degree.” Tinsley’s eyes well up with unshed tears.
“On a lighter note.” Thank you, Jacey, for the deflection. “Out of all the men here, which would you want one-night with?”
So much for taking it easy.
“Romeo.” Redness creeps up Tinsley’s neck and all the way up her face. Her response doesn’t exactly surprise me, because I’ve seen the way she looks at him. The rest of us look at each other with smirks. Romeo hasn’t had the best of luck with women in the past. Such shit luck, Crazy Girl killed the last one.
“So, Jacey, when’s the next pregnancy happening?” I ask as I fill my shot glass back up.
“Ugh! He wants another baby so bad, but I just don’t. I want to enjoy Cub and Kelcey, even when they’re little heathens.” She laughs, then continues, “He always gets what he wants, though, so I’d say it’ll happen sooner than later.” Jacey smiles, so I don’t think she would be too upset if it did happen.
“If you could change how things happened with you and Bear, would you?” It’s time to see if she can gain my respect.
Her eyes narrow before she answers. “Yes and no. You think I don’t regret not telling him about Cub? I do, Chatty. I beat myself up for a long time after, and Bear was still there, telling me he didn’t hate me. I am grateful that he still loves me and never gave up. I am grateful that I got my father back in my life so I could know the truth. I can’t go into the past and change what happened, but look at where we are now.”
“Okay…Lil Mama.” Hell, that sounds weird, but it’s time I gave Jacey a break.
Her mouth drops open. “That’s the first time you’ve called me that.” I guess the shock was so much she forgot to sign.
“Well, I figure it’s time for new beginnings.” I smile and hold up my bottle. “To new beginnings.” Her glass clinks with my bottle and she smiles then repeats my toast.
“Aww, my two best friends are now friends,” Crazy Girl says with a smile as well.
Turning my attention on Crazy Girl with an evil grin on my lips, I ask, “How long before you get knocked up again?”
Her eyes narrow on me in a playful way. “I told Hanger no more until the girls go to school! I’m not going to have four babies under the age of five. Thankfully, he agreed, so we compromised that when the girls start preschool then we will start trying.” Crazy Girl takes her fifth shot and is now the one with the evil grin. “What’s going on with you and Gunner?”
Downing another shot, I blow out a breath. “We only fucked that one time, and it was good—really good. I refuse to compare him to Ripper, but it was on fire. I just feel so torn up on the inside and now he tells me he’s waited for me all this time—even when Ripper was alive, he was waiting in the wings, knowing he may never even get a chance. Who does that? Then I get jealous when I see Lily touching him, and I’m all over the place with my heart and head. He kissed me and said all this sweet shit and…I just don’t know.” I take a deep breath after my rambling, take another shot, and slam the glass down on the table that we moved closer to the couch.
“You’re the one he was pining over?!” Crazy Girl and Jacey ask at the same time, and when Ever reads their hands, she spits her water out.
“Apparently.” I shake my head.
“You all knew he wanted Lindy? I mean Chatty,” Tinsley questions in shock. She is still trying to get used to my nickname around here.
“He mentioned a few times about a woman he could never have, but we didn’t know it was Chatty. And Lindy is your real name? I like it!” Crazy Girl smiles at me. “Whatever you decide to do, we will have your back.”
“I know.” Watching all of their heads nod yes makes me feel somewhat better about the predicament I’m in.
“I have a question for Ever,” Tinsley speaks up, getting in on the confession game.
“Go ahead,” Crazy Girl tells her.
“Lin…Chatty told me you left for a while to follow your dream of fashion. So now that you’re back, do you feel like you have accomplished everything you wanted to?”
Crazy Girl verbalizes for Ever without signing as she watches Ever’s hands. “I do. I left because I thought New York could give me something more. What I failed to realize is that I already had everything I could dream of right here. Sometimes it takes leaving to realize what you had in the first place, and now I have more than I thought possible. I just married my other half, we’re having our first baby, I have both my families—this club and outside of it—and I opened a store with my own clothing line that is doing amazing. I couldn’t ask for more.” Ever smiles and has Crazy Girl add, “Have you decided to stay?”
“I’m still thinking about it, but I like it here. I’ll eventually have to go back to Arizona to tie up some loose ends if I do decide to stay.” I cringe at the thought of my cousin going back there.
A few hours later, we are well and truly drunk. Ever sits on a barstool silently laughing at us while we dance to the music. And I don’t mean on the dance floor—we have climbed up on the tables, shaking our asses like there’s no tomorrow, and we are screaming out lyrics of songs that we really don’t even know the words to. I’ve missed this!
Cheers to tomorrow night, when we do it all over again!
*****
The guys are due back today from the run to wherever they went, and the girls went home with a prospect following behind to watch over their houses until Bear, Hanger, and Hunter return. And here I am at the clubhouse, making sure it looks good and clean for when they get back, always the house mother even if some of them are older than I am. It was always my job, as soon as Ripper brought me here; I took over the bar and made sure laundry was done, that rooms were clean except the bedrooms, and just generally taking care of the Satan’s Sinners. When I left, I gave it all up to Crazy Girl, and I’m glad she didn’t disappoint like I knew she wouldn’t.
The war within is building as I find myself missing Gunner these last two days. I don’t know what to do with these feelings I’m having; I miss him and want him, yet I can’t give in because of my dead husband. The pull I feel towards Gunner is getting stronger by the day, and thoughts of him are starting to overpower my thoughts of Ripper. Opening the old bedroom door, I walk over and sit on the bed. As I look around, I go back in time to the day I married Ripper.
“Lindy, you know you wanna marry me, now just say yes.” Ripper smiles up at me as I straddle his lap, his big hands cupping my breasts through the thin fabric of my t-shirt.
Giving a dramatic sigh and rolling my eyes, I respond, “I guess.”
“You guess?” Ripper sits up lightning fast, then starts tickling my sides until I’m laughing so hard I’m about to pee my pants.
“Quit!” I scream, and try to wiggle free while still laughing, but he’s not letting me go.
“You guess? Give me somethin’ better than that, woman.”
“Fine! Yes, yes I will marry you.” The tickling stops as I’m thrown over his shoulder, and he’s rushing us through the clubhouse.
Ripper made sure to announce it to everyone that we were going to get hitched as we went through the bar and out to his bike. We went straight to the courthouse and found out we would have to apply for a marriage license, so we did. Three days later, we were officially married by a judge. It wasn’t anything special, we had no one there to witness it, but it was one of the best days of my life.
Swiping the tear from my cheek, I take a deep breath and ask, “What am I supposed to do, Ripper? This battle inside of me is getting hard, and I don’t know how to deal with it. You always said I could tell you everything, well here it goes. I don’t know how to move on, and I don’t know how to let you go. I’m scared and I don’t know how to deal with that, because you know I am not scared of anything, but right now I am fucking terrified. I’m afraid I’m getting feelings for Gunner, and I’m afraid if I let him in then I’m going to lose him like I lost you. I wouldn’t survive it a second time, Ripper. Give me something—a sign, anything letting me know what to do. You said you would always be there for me, I need you now.” Of course I know nothing will happen; it’s not like Ripper’s going to knock a picture off the wall, open a door, or appear out of thin air, but it makes me feel a little better hoping he can hear me wherever he’s at.
Standing from the bed, I walk out of the room and close the door behind me. After the clubhouse is cleaned, laundry done, and the bar is ready to be opened back up, I spend the evening with Tinsley.
*****
After Tinsley falls asleep later that night, I decide to take a shower. Grabbing everything I’ll need, I walk out of the room, and as I close the door, I hear the loud commotion in the bar—the guys have returned. By the sounds of their laughing and hollering, the run went well.
Gunner starts to come into the hallway, but when he sees me his steps falter, and I freeze. Neither of us says a word, but we continue to stare at one another, and I realize just how much I really did miss him.
I give him a half grin and a head-tilt towards the bathroom door without another glance. Normally I would lock the bathroom door, because I wouldn’t want anyone walking in on me, but I think I’ll see what Gunner’s next move will be; will he take the chance and come in or will he go back to the bar?
Turning the water on hot, I strip out of the clothes I had on. The steam starts to rise from the heated temperature and I place my hand under the steady stream—it’s perfect. I walk under the showerhead, and the water instantly relieves the tension from my shoulders, relaxes my muscles, and warms my body. Tilting my head back, I run my hands over my hair, letting the water soak it.
Closing my eyes, I turn in the shower, letting the hot water hit my face. My head drops down and I place my hands on the shower wall, enjoying the feel of the water battering on my neck and shoulders. “Stay just like that,” Gunner’s deep, smoky voice demands.
I don’t move a muscle.
His hands touch my back first, and as he moves them around my body, soap lathers on my skin. Gunner’s hands are rough, but feel amazing as he massages my flesh. Up and down deeply kneading my back, up to my shoulders and neck, squeezing and giving just enough pressure to make a moan slip free. His hands move around to my breasts, down my stomach, to the meaty flesh of my ass. Everywhere he touches, massages, or squeezes, I feel it all the way down to my aching pussy.
I try to grip my thighs shut, but Gunner notices and gives a slap to my ass. “I said don’t move.” Every time I move, even without realizing, a slap hits my ass and thighs; each one stings a little more, and my moans intensify. After I’m good and lathered with soap, the first touch to my pussy comes and it has me bucking my hips and crying out.
“Turn,” is all he says, but I don’t need to be told twice. With his hands on my hips, he helps guide me back under the water so the soap can wash away. Leaning my head back, I relax while Gunner works at getting me clean. It’s so fucking erotic having someone wash your body and having their hands all over you, making you feel so beautiful, sexy, and loved.
“Spread those thighs, Chat,” Gunner commands as he kneels down in front of me. “Did you miss me?”
“Mmhm,” is all I can respond as his finger sinks into my channel.
“Words, Chat. I want to hear you say it. ‘Cause God, I fuckin’ missed the hell outta you.” Another digit enters, my back arches, and my hips grind against the assault he’s putting on me as those fingers slowly move in and out.
“Yes! Yes, I missed you.”
“Good answer.” Gunner removes his fingers, only to spread my pussy wide open, and then his tongue is on me as I cry out. Long strokes front to back, then his tongue dips inside my opening before finding my clit. Small, slow circles and fast little flicks have my hands gripping the back of his head, trying to bring him closer. Gunner’s hands tighten on my thighs and I look down to see him watching me. His eyes are so intense and have darkened a few shades from his normal crystal blue color. The need and hunger is plain to see in the depths of his eyes.
I want to pull my eyes away from his as he devours my pussy in a delicious rhythm between light and rough strokes with his tongue. It feels so intimate, yet I can’t turn away.
My mouth drops open as he grows more desperate for my impending orgasm. The tip of his tongue feels so good as it circles my clit and quickly flicks against the bud. Growing closer by the second, my legs are shaky. I start slowly sliding down, opening my thighs more and more and pulling his head into me further until he can’t get any closer. My cries and moans reach an all-time high as I scream his name. Stars dance behind my now-closed eyes, my breathing is quick, and Gunner hums his approval as he drinks me up.
Standing, Gunner pulls me up with him as his lips descend on mine. I can taste myself when his tongue swirls around mine, and it’s not all that bad a taste—kind of sweet, yet tangy. All too soon he spins me around—while I’m still in a daze—and whispers against my ear, “So fuckin’ sweet. My sweetest temptation. Hands on the wall, Chat.”
He helps place my hands where he wants them and then his leg is between my thighs, spreading them. Once I feel the head of his cock press against my entrance, I brace myself. Gunner is huge. I know I asked for rough last time and don’t get me wrong, I loved it, but I wasn’t sitting right for a few days after.
Gunner, surprising me, pushes in slowly, inch by delicious inch, until he’s all the way in. One of his hands goes around my waist, holding me back against him, and the other goes around to my full breasts as he once again starts massaging. This time, though, he pulls and pinches my nipples, making them tender. My head rolls back, falling on his shoulder as he picks up speed. The deliberate strokes rub against that spot inside me that will no doubt have me screaming out once more.
“You’re gonna be mine one day, Chat,” Gunner growls out as the hand that’s taking turns at my breasts moves up and around my neck. Gunner’s mouth moves to the crook of my neck, peppering kisses on my heated flesh. I don’t say anything to his comment.
“More, Gunner,” I tell him as my hips match his relentless thrusts. Once again, his pace picks up, unbearably fast yet controlled, and his hand around my waist finds my already-sensitive clit.
“Come with me.” Gunner’s words sound more like a growl as his hand around my neck tightens just a little. A gasp leaves my lips, not in fear but in pleasure, when my air is limited. It turns me on even more, drawing me closer to the orgasm that has my core tightening.
“Yes!” I breathe out. Gunner’s teeth sink into the side of my neck, biting down just enough to be on that fine line between pleasure and pain. His finger works faster and I reach a hand behind me, digging my nails into his ass cheek while the other still lays flat against the wall. The last hit to my G-spot has me losing all sense as I come, screaming out, “Gunner!”
“Fuck!” His movements become jerky, but before he comes, I’m pulled further away from the wall and bent forward. Gunner pulls out and I feel his hot cum shoot onto my lower back and ass.
He washes us both off in the now-cold water, turns it off, and spins me around once again. I didn’t even get a chance to wash my hair or shave. With his hands on either side of me, caging me in against the wall, Gunner looks me dead in the eyes. “You’re in my bed tonight.”
“I don’t think…” He covers my mouth with his in a possessive nature.
“It’s not up for discussion,” Gunner says against my lips before he takes my hand, then proceeds to dry me off, along with himself. He dresses the both of us, and then he practically pushes me to his bedroom. I don’t put up too much of a fight, because would it be so bad to cuddle with someone again?
In his room, Gunner pulls the covers down. I crawl in on one side, him on the other, and then I’m pulled into his side as close as he can get me with our bodies touching. Our legs are tangled, my head is on his chest, and his arms are wrapped around me tightly, protectively, my softness against the hardness of Gunner’s body as I fall into a deep sleep.