Chapter Six

Pam watched her grandma. Her eyes were red, there was a tear on her cheek, and she let out a heavy sigh.

“That was the last time I saw him before he left. Let me tell you something sweetie. If you have the time, you make sure you fuck that man of yours every chance you get. After you have kids and house payments and work and crap, you just don’t have time or energy anymore. So fuck all you can. Wherever you can. The kitchen sink, the bathroom, the shower, on those new-fangled washing machines that rumble and shake like a vibrator from heaven.”

Pam smiled as her grandmother spoke. It was funny hearing all this from a woman she’d thought was so innocent and out of touch with today’s world.

“God, I missed that man after he left for the war. There are days I sit, alone, in bed, with a vibrator and think of him. I get itchy every time we drive by an abandoned shed.”

“I can’t imagine after all those years together. But you and Grandpa had a long and happy life, together, in spite of having to part...”

“Grandpa? You think I was talking about him? Oh dearie, no. I’m talking about Dave—the one I met before I met your grandpa. Turns out I’d gotten pregnant that last night, and your grandpa married me so I wouldn’t be thrown out onto the street by my parents. Back then things were different for women.”

“But…I don’t understand how you let your true love get away. It must have been horrible.” Pam felt the frown cross her brow.

“Honey, that was lust. He was my first real boyfriend and my first lover. I did love him, or I thought I did, but honestly? It was more lust and curiosity than anything else. I learned that pretty quick. I found out soon after he left that he had a bad heart.”

“What happened?”

Grandma shrugged. “He was found dead in a latrine in Vietnam. Turns out he was masturbating with had his cock in one hand and my picture in the other. He just got off and his heart seized up.”

There was a stunned silence as the two women looked at each other. Then, in spite of the sadness of the ending, Pam couldn’t help a grin from starting.

Her Grandma looked at her and began to giggle.

Within seconds they were howling, and Pam struggled for breath. “Go ahead. If ever there was a time to say it, it’s now.”

Reading her mind with her usual amazing perspicacity, Grandma choked back a laugh and nodded. “Yep. He really did it. He came...and went.”

It wasn’t until several minutes later that they wiped their eyes, stopped snickering and settled back down.

Grandma sipped her drink and smiled. “That’s pretty much the end of the story. And it’s all water under the bridge now, of course. So this Rob guy you’re marrying, is he…well, um, well-endowed?”

“Grandma! Not that it matters but I believe it’s not about the size but about how you use it.”

“Bullshit. Mark my words, Pammy. They have those pills to make a man’s pecker bigger. Have him take them in a few years, because as you get older and have kids, things get a little looser down there and you’ll want a man with a big package. If a penis was like a boat I wouldn’t want a little dinghy, I’d want the damn Titanic. When I have sex, I want to know I’ve been fucked. Thank God for Viagra.”

Pam looked puzzled at this comment, and asked, “Um, Grandma, are you...um, you know?”

“Having sex? Oh hell, yes. There’s the guy at Johnson’s Market, Travis. He delivers more than just groceries.”

“Wait, you don’t mean Travis Hatley, do you? He’s my age.”

The boy is very receptive and knows what he’s doing. Can’t complain. There was this one time when I took my dentures out and…”

“Noooo.” Pam nearly screamed as her brain roared into overload with things she didn’t want to think about. “I’m getting way too many visuals from this conversation, Grandma. I can’t believe all the things you’re telling me. When I was growing up you were so proper and didn’t cuss or talk like this.” Pam grinned at her Grandma.

“I didn’t because you were too young. I wanted you all to respect me. I couldn’t tell you kids to not say dirty words if I was calling you fucking hyenas from the bowels of hell. It would make me a hypocrite.”

“I guess so. I have to say though, it would have been fun having you tell stories to me and my girlfriends when we had sleepovers.”

“You know something, sweetie? Things are so different now with the Internet drowning us with all that sex and porn stuff...it makes my little memories look kinda tame. But for me, thinking back to that time in my life…well, it was so arousing that to this day it makes my panties moist thinking about watching that big dicked bastard with Lucy.”

“Did Lucy and Nick get married?”

“No. They broke up after the summer was over. Nick went to Canada to avoid the draft. I still see Lucy every now and then. She moved to Arkansas and owns some land over there. She married a real cowboy and had seven kids, all boys.”

“Well that’s a happy ending I guess.”

“Made me happy. They were her kids, not mine.” Grandma reached out and put her wrinkled hand on top of Pam’s. “Honey, listen to your heart. Good men are hard to find but a hard man is easy to find. All too often the lure of a big dick and a great smile make us forget about the long haul.”

Pam listened quietly. “I think I understand.”

“Good.” Grandma nodded. “Sex is great. I mean sex is fan-fucking-tastic when done right, but if you truly love someone then the sex has that much more meaning.”

She paused and rocked back and forth in her chair. “Love is a tricky thing. Marriage can be even trickier. You need to work at it, honey. Your Grandpa was a good man who knew how to work at it. He bust ass taking care of your mom and all the other kids and I admit I bitched at him more than I should. But even with all that, he never let me think I was useless or let me work outside to help.” She wiped away a tear.

Pam instantly moved to her Grandma’s side. “I’m sorry to bring all this up. I came out here to remember how simple things were when I lived with you guys. I had some great times and before jumping into getting married I wanted to remember when things were easier. Maybe I wanted to go back to that time.”

“Honey, you got easy right now, if only you can see it. You have a good man, a job, a place to live and a wedding not far off. If you truly love him, all the other bullshit will work itself out.” She squeezed Pam’s fingers. “That’s the only thing you need to be sure of, Pam dear. Loving Rob. And only you can say if he’s truly what you want. If you can see yourself with him at night just sleeping, not fucking. If you can see the two of you growing old together, and yet still in love with each other.”

“You’re right Grandma. I just wanted things the way they were before. When we first met, Rob and I had so much fun, we’d laugh and goof off all the time.” Pam stared blindly out at the night as she turned things over in her mind.

“I guess I’ve changed and tried to make him less of a goofball and more responsible. Maybe I have tried to make him fit the mold everyone says is the normal one. And he changed for me, instead of me realizing that his quirks and oddities are what attracted me to him in the first place.” It was a disheartening and disturbing thought.

“It sounds like you’re going through the standard wedding nerves, dear. Don’t try to change the man. It’s way too easy to train a man to do what you want, when you want it. You have the pussy and the pussy rules the cock. It’s nature’s way of balancing out God giving us periods. Just be sure this Rob is the one.”

“I love him Grandma, I really do. He’s good to me, he works hard and says he wants a family in a few years whenever I’m ready. Just hearing you talk and listening to your story about Dave—well, it taught me something. Taught me that something like a fling can be great at the time but what you really need in life is love and someone to share your life for the long haul. It’s helped me see that Rob really is the one for me.”

“Is he good in bed? Does he have a big …you know?” Grandma held her hands apart as if she was measuring a cucumber.

“He’s a perfect fit.” Pam grinned.

“Well, if it does its job then that’s a good thing. If he was like one of those big salamis from Franconi’s market, that would be better, but you can’t have everything.” Grandma took Pam’s hand in hers and smiled. “Look here sweetheart. Nobody can tell you shit about all this stuff. They aren’t you. I’m not going to share all my so-called wisdom with you about life and love. I’ll talk about sex and fucking anytime you want though.”

“Um, thanks. I think.”

“But getting married, starting a family, all that…bottom line, it’s up to you. Follow your heart dear, not your head. Men follow their head all the time, the wrong head, and look at the shit they’ve screwed up. As long as Rob makes you happy then you have my blessings.”

Grandma stood up and brushed herself off. “Let’s get in the house. I’m freezing my ass off out here. I have some old scotch we can drink inside.”

“Thanks, Grandma. I love you.” Pam jumped up and hugged the old lady, embracing her with both arms.

“I love you too, honey.” She chuckled. “So did I ever tell you about the time your Great Aunt Aggie got busted for being a whore?”

“Aunt Aggie? Good God, no.”

Grandma grinned. “Well, I remember when...”