Dear Jeff,

I’m sorry for running away without even telling you. I didn’t mean for it to end this way. You have been so good to me, and you don’t deserve this. But I‘ve come to a decision. I changed my mind. I no longer want to push through with the deal. I’m calling in my exit clause.

It’s too early to tell if I’m already pregnant. But if I am, I promise I’ll fulfill my end of the bargain. The baby will be yours and I won’t attempt to interfere in how you will raise our child. I’ll only thank you in advance now, because I know you’ll take good care of our son or daughter. After I give birth, I’ll leave.

I’m taking the train going to back Everland. I have no place else to go. I will stay there until I find out for sure that I’m not pregnant. Then I will leave for good.

Please, don’t be too mad at me.

You are the greatest.

~Mara

I crumple the letter in my hand. I was so worried when she left the Met with my chauffeur last night without telling me. At least she had the common sense to ask Graham to drive her back to my building and not just take take off in at taxi at near midnight.

I told Graham to come back to the Met and pick me up. She was already in bed when I got to the penthouse. I tried to talk to her but she rolled over telling me she was tired and wanted to sleep.

I let her be. I knew something was bothering her. I wondered if it was Caitlyn. I saw them talking last night. Caitlyn was quite disappointed that I called off our plan to have a baby together. I called her when Mara and I were on Saffron Isle. But I didn’t tell her that I found another woman though, and that the process of conception has changed. The thing with Mara happened so fast and I was not prepared to share it to anybody, even though Caitlyn deserved to know.

I left the penthouse early this morning after breakfast. Mara was pensive. I would have wanted to talk to her but I got a call from my lawyer. He got some good news. I left the penthouse and came back two hours later, excited to share the good news to Mara.

But she was gone.

She ran away like a fucking thief.

Jesus. I’ve never been so flipped in my entire life.

I’m so furious that she pulled this stupid stunt on me. She took the fucking commuter train to Rhode Island! She could have just asked me for a flight going there.

But then would I have let her go?

No.

I sigh harshly.

I’m just so relieved I know where to find her.

Once I get my hands on her, I’m going to tan her backside. But she could be pregnant, so scratch that.

I pull out my cellphone and call my pilot.

The 4-hour travel by train from Manhattan to Rhode Island gave me some time to think. I needed it.

When I arrive in Everland, my mind has cleared somehow. I already have a back-up plan.

I won’t let the recent development defeat my resolve. I have survived this far. I’ll get through this. I’ll die fighting.

God, I just hope I’m not pregnant yet. I don’t want to involve an innocent child into all this.

But my plan seems to crumble when I see Jeff standing beside Mama Zon on the portico steps of the manor.

His face is grim.

The taxi speeds away from the driveway.

I stand there, my chest clenching in mixed emotions. I didn’t expect him to be here. Jeff is the kind of man who will not go after a woman.

I inhale deeply and walk over to them. I need to face this. Get it over with.

Mama Zon meets me half-way.

“Mija…”

My tears well up. I have missed this woman. We hug tightly.

“Are you all right?” Mama Zon asks me tearfully.

I nod.

“Jeff has been waiting for you.”

I look up at him again. He hasn’t moved from where he’s standing, looking down at me like the lord of the manor, imperious and uncompromising.

I pull away from Mama Zon and walk closer to the steps. I stop at the foot and meet his gaze.

“Jeff…”

His eyes are dark and stormy.

He is very angry. I wonder why. So what if I backed down from our deal? He can have any woman he wants. The least of his worries is finding another baby-maker to take my place. A million women would jump at the chance of carrying a Vandercourt heir.

And he can just ask Caitlyn again for her eggs. It was his original plan anyway. I could tell the woman was still in love with him, though like Jeff, she held her own power and it must be hard to have a power struggle with the man you love.

Yes, the man you love.

I hate that stupid Cinderella in me for trying to mess with my head right now. I need to think rationally and decide not based on my emotions. I have to resist my feelings for this man, not only for my own sake, but for his.

“I’ll meet you in my study in an hour,” he says coldly and walks back into the manor.

I’ve been waiting for her for hours. I paced the rooms of the manor, worried sick. I was only comforted by the fact the Mara told me where she was going. But what if she didn’t arrive?

I would have gone nuts.

He’s driving me nuts.

I check my watch impatiently.

Just then she enters the room.

She looks haggard and lost, and I hate it that she didn’t come to me and told me what was bothering her. Clearly, something came up.

I checked with my contacts and no new significant development so far. But I will find out. It’s time to talk about it with her. I’ve been patient with her, wanting her to develop her trust in me to tell me everything on her own volition, but I can’t wait anymore. I want to hear it straight from her mouth.

“Have you eaten?”

She nods.

“Take a seat, Mara.”

She quietly sits on the sofa.

I stand in front of her. Her head is bowed and she won’t meet my eyes.

“Talk to me.”

She remains silent, looking meek like a lamb.

“I want to hear it all. Everything, Mara.”

She looks up at me. “Why?”

“Because you should have told me about it even before we signed the contract.”

Her shoulders sag, her eyes looking contrite. “I know. And I’m sorry. That’s why I’m backing out. I no longer want to push through with it, Jeff. Please.”

“It’s too late for that now. You could be pregnant.”

“Or not.”

“It doesn’t matter. I want to hear it from you, Mara.”

She sighs. “How much do you already know?”

“You tell me.”

She bows her head again, her fingers fidgeting with her dress.

I sit on an armchair opposite her.

“I left Venezuela because I was being hunted by the authorities. Me and my colleagues, there were five of us, we were doing a covert investigation on the Venezuelan drug ties with Colombia. We have long suspected that high officials in the government were heavily involved in drug trafficking, even during the reign of Chavez.”

“Jesus, Mara, you should have told me everything from the start.”

She meets my eyes again. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want to endanger my colleagues. Three of us were able to escape here but two of our fellow journalists were imprisoned in Venezuela. There are more than a hundred journalists jailed there now for daring to speak against the government.”

“Who are your colleagues?”

She shakes her head. “Jeff, please, don’t do this.”

“I want to help you, Mara.”

Her eyes tell me she doesn’t believe me, and I feel my anger rise again that she’s doubting me so much.

“I don’t want you to get involved in this. It will get worse in the coming days, Jeff. I got word that they will file charges against the three of us back home soon for supplying damaging information against the government to foreign agencies, and I’m guilty of that even though my intentions were good. You know what’s happening there now. They can qualify it as treason. I will be extradited and God knows what next. I don’t want you or your family to be dragged into all that.”

“Let me be the one to decide on that, Mara.”

She stands up, her hands fisted at her sides. “No! Can’t you understand?! I just want out of the deal! Just release me from it!”

I stand up as well. I knew she was headstrong but I didn’t know she could be this stubborn. “Are you really concerned for me or you just don’t trust me? Be honest with me for once, Mara.”

“I was honest with you!”

“You were lying by omission. What about your parents?”

Her face crumbles.

I knew it.

“Did they really die in a car crash?”

Her tears fall. She turns away from me.

I instantly regret my callousness. “Mara…”

“No, they didn’t die from a car accident. They were already dead when their car was pushed off the cliff. I received a message from the killers. They were murdered as a warning to me and my colleagues to stop the investigation. I don’t know who did it and it’s killing me inside! The cartel, the evil people in the government, I don’t know! They were all in it together! I want justice for them, but what can I do? I’m in a foreign land at the mercy of its authorities. I didn’t tell you because I just wanted a visa extension to survive here and telling you might have made you change your mind about that stupid job you were offering me!”

She faces me again, her eyes blazing, wet with grief and hate for the people who have wronged her, and apparently, me included. “Which by the way made the cliche jumping from the frying pan into the fire quite real for me.”

I feel the impact of her words deep into my soul.

Indeed, I took advantage of her desperation for my own selfish reasons. I wanted her, but I didn’t understand the depth my feelings for her then.

I do now. God, I do now.

“Is having my child so repulsive to you?” I ask her softly.

She touches her stomach. “I didn’t want to conceive my first child like that, or any of my children for that matter. What kind of a woman would give away her child for a visa extension? A good for nothing human being! But I wanted to survive. I had a plan. I thought I could somehow change your mind in the future, that you would at least allow me to see him every once in a while. I planned to make something out of myself from the money you will pay me, and if one day he will find out about me, he will be proud of me, too.”

Her words are cutting me, making me feel like the worst bastard. I was, but I swear I’ll make it up to her.

“But everything’s changed now. I hope to God I’m not pregnant. No, I don’t want a baby now. But if I am, promise me you will never mention my name to him. Not even a whisper. Find a good woman to marry and help raise him. Promise me you will protect our child, Jeff, that you will always keep him safe. Oh God…Oh God…” She puts her hand over her mouth to stop her sobs. She’s shaking.

She’s going hysterical now and my heart is breaking for her. I reach out for her. “Mara…”

“Promise me!” she suddenly screams.

“I promise, baby. I promise.”

She wipes her tears roughly with her fingers. ”Now, you wanted more cards on the table? I’ll tell it to you straight, Jeff. Yes, I don’t trust you. You are a part of the rotten system.”

I knew this was coming.

“Your country has its own vested interest. Oh mighty America, the superpower of them all. She has benevolence written all over those bright white stars, the savior and champion of democracy all over the world, but she always cuts a tough deal. We’ve been supplying information about the drug trade, information you’ve been using to build a campaign against the present administration. We’ve been risking our lives and some of us have died for this cause. You took us in when we were hunted like rats, but you refuse to give us full political asylum. You make us do the dirty work for you, but you keep your hands clean. What do you call that, Jeff?”

The way she said “you” gets to me in a really bad way. She’s now lumped me together with her worst enemies.

“So now, I’m the embodiment of Uncle Sam that you secretly hate but desperately need. What do you call that, Mara?”

I’m sympathetic to her plight, but I refuse to let her malign my country based on her one-dimensional perspectives alone. I’m still a patriot through and through, and I will always defend my country and its internal and external interests. She knows so much and yet so little.

She shrugs. “I guess it’s the classic Catch 22, as you Americans fondly call a situation where a person is fucked everywhere she turns. No pun, Jeff. I mean, the fucking was nice. Really nice.”

I’m amazed she can still inject some humor into all this. Bad humor though. I’m not amused one bit.

There is no doubt, I’m now facing the feisty journalist that the most powerful men in her country fear. They’re right to want her jailed or dead. She can cause an empire’s downfall, indeed, especially if she has a billionaire lover who’s batshit crazy about her and who’d ruthlessly make war in a foreign land just to keep her safe.

I’m scared of my thoughts. But Uncle Sam would be mightily pleased. Finally, I’m fucking on board in those bloody external politics.

“So, I’m asking you now to please release me from our deal, Jeff. You don’t have to pay me anything. I promise to disappear completely, like I was never here.”

Not a chance, baby.

I pull out an envelope from the inner pocket of my jacket. I drop it on the center table. She looks at it blankly.

“Your tourist visa, extended for another six months while your working visa is being processed.”

Her eyes widen. Her mouth opens to speak, but no words come out.

I’m glad this shuts her up because her words are deadly.

“And no, I’m not releasing you from our deal. You lied to me and that invalidates the exit clause. You involved me in your shit from the beginning and now I have to fix it. You will pay me back by giving me that child you promised. Are we clear on this, Mara?”

She shakes her head.

“I was not asking for your permission.”

“Jeff…”

“You will stay here in Everland. Under no circumstance will you leave, and if you attempt to escape, I will hunt you down. You will find out it’s way easier to hide from your government than from me, Mara.”

"W-what will you do?”

“Why, my darling Helen of Troy, I will go launch a thousand ships to save your ass from getting hanged for treason.”

Her eyes widen in shock. “You wouldn’t…”

“You could be carrying my child and if you’re not, I’ll make sure you will the next time we’re together. No one threatens a Vandercourt. You want to believe the worst in me? Fine! Yes, I’m a fucking imperialist and I’m sitting at the top tier of the people you hate the most. It’s what and who I am and it won’t change, not for many generations of Vandercourts. Now, I don’t care about your country or your people or your damn causes. I only care about MY family. You understand? I will do everything to protect what is mine, and you are mine, Mara. Mine!”

I turn around and walk away.

“Jeff!” she screams after me.

But I don’t look back.