I WAS KISSING Lucas Sullivan. And not just in one of the many fevered dreams I’d had in the years since I’d last seen him, but actually devouring him, like the fate of the world rested on our lips staying crushed together. It was fast and frenzied, and the way he’d instinctively taken control and pushed me up against whatever was behind me had me rock hard. With my size, I was always the one to take charge, and I couldn’t deny how hot it was for someone my equal to give it back to me as good as I gave.

Lucas’s hands trailed down from my hair to the sides of my neck, stealing my breath. It reminded me of the way he’d kissed me for the first time all those years ago, against a rough-barked pine in the woods that separated his gram’s house from the school. I had a scraped back for days, but it had been worth it to finally feel his warm mouth on mine, giving in to all that pent-up electricity between us. I hadn’t ever kissed a guy before that moment, and Lucas didn’t make it easy on me—he took what he wanted, and I went along with it because it felt so damn good and because I wouldn’t ever say no to Lucas. And that was the only thing that scared me back then—that I’d never say no to him.

But it seemed like I wouldn’t have to stop him now, because all too abruptly, Lucas pulled away, putting far too much space between us. “No. This is not happening.”

Dazed, I watched him worry his hands through his hair as he tried to shake himself out of his stupor. He was aroused—that much was painfully obvious by the way his pants were tented, but his self-control was winning out.

How much further would I have gone if he’d wanted to? The possibilities sent a thrill all the way to my balls, and I reached down to ease the pent-up ache, massaging them with a rough hand.

“Christ, what are you doing?” Lucas groaned as he watched me work myself, a tortured look on his face.

I didn’t even know I was doing it. My reserve in the bedroom always seemed to surprise my partners, but something about Lucas emboldened me, made me want to tease and share a part of myself I kept hidden away. And let’s be real—after that kiss, I needed the relief.

Lucas focused on my hand as I stroked myself over my pants, and he bit his lip. He looked half ready to pounce, half ready to kick me out of the house, and I prayed it would be the former. Indecision warred in his eyes, his body tense as a live wire. It was when my thumb edged over the top of my hard-on and I gasped that Lucas made his move.

His body slammed into mine, his tongue plunging into my mouth to take possession. My hips bucked up at the move, and he reciprocated by letting his fingers trail down between us to bat my hand away and tease my erection.

Oh, shiiit. Every secret dirty daydream I’d had of Lucas couldn’t compare to the way he felt against me as he deepened the kiss and massaged me harder. I couldn’t believe the way my body was responding, so instantly and without a second thought. Who was I? A man who enjoyed the feel of another man’s lips on his more than anyone I’d ever kissed in my life. I didn’t understand that at all, didn’t know what that made me, but worrying about it was the last thing on my mind as Lucas’s mouth moved in perfect sync with mine.

One of his strong hands came up to land on my chest, holding me in place—as if I would go anywhere else—and then Lucas’s other hand snapped open the button of my pants. He nipped and teased my lower lip, and I let out a moan of anticipation. I knew where this was going if I let it, and just like back then, I didn’t understand all the whys, but I did know that the pull I felt for this man wasn’t something I’d ever felt with anyone else. So when I squeezed Lucas’s ass to urge him on, he pulled down my zipper and then cupped my erection.

“Shit,” I breathed out as he stroked me, the combination of his firm hand and the friction of my boxer briefs making my eyes roll to the back of my head. He wasn’t gentle, and there was nothing hesitant about the way he touched me. This was a man who knew exactly what he was doing, and that only made me harder.

“Jesus, Jackson.” Lucas’s words tickled my lips as he shook his head and his fingers skimmed the head of my cock. “I forgot how fucking big you are.”

My head thudded back against the door, and I had to reach out for the hand that was driving me to the point of coming all over his palm if he kept it up. “No, you didn’t.”

Lucas took me by the chin, his eyes twinkling with a devilish light. “You’re right. I didn’t.” Then he dropped to his knees, pulling my boxers and pants down with him in one quick yank.

“Lucas— Ah, fuck,” I said, as he not only took me in his mouth, but sucked me inside so fiercely that my cock hit the back of his throat. I was vaguely aware of the curses that were flying out of me, but all I could concentrate on was not busting a nut five seconds in. Holy shit, had anything felt this good ever? No. Hell no.

As Lucas shifted between my thighs, he pushed my legs open wider, giving him more access to all of me. I felt exposed as I stood there watching the man on his knees, but he wasn’t looking at me. He wasn’t looking anywhere. His eyes were shut, but his mouth worked like a damn Hoover, taking what he wanted, and I was more than willing to let him.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I had a thought that this wouldn’t end well, that Lucas would wake up from whatever trance he was in, realize what he’d done, and then go back to resenting me. But with his warm, wet mouth around my cock, I couldn’t bring myself to give one fuck.

My back arched, pushing my hips forward and even deeper inside Lucas’s throat, and when he choked, I instinctively pulled back. That was the wrong move, though, because Lucas’s hands wound around my thighs, bringing my hips forward, and he licked clean the pre-cum off my dick before greedily devouring me again.

“You taste so good,” he murmured around my cock, and I shivered from the vibration.

How many times had I fucked my fist imagining it was Lucas’s mouth? More than I’d ever admit to myself, that was for damn sure, but all those empty fantasies had nothing on the reality. I speared my fingers through his hair as Lucas’s muscular arms held me right where he wanted me. He brought me to the brink of orgasm and then backed off, sucking the sensitive skin on my sac instead and then moving to tongue my slit.

“You are way too fucking good at that,” I said, pumping my hips forward and pushing the head of my erection past his lips. “Lucas… Lucas, look at me.”

Something in the air changed then as Lucas stopped moving for a second, like me saying his name had pulled him out of wherever his head had been. Shit. Don’t stop…please don’t fucking stop.

As if he’d heard me, he slowly took me inside again, and one of his hands wrapped around the base of my dick. Twisting and sucking, his mouth and fingers working in tandem, faster and harder, taking, taking, taking from me. Lucas’s eyes stayed firmly shut the whole time, even as I willed them to open and look up at me. Did he even know who he was sucking off right now? Did he care? Would he look at me differently when he finally opened them?

I’d find out soon enough, because the small amount of control I’d held on to was wearing thin, and the familiar way my balls pulled taut had me pushing Lucas’s head away, trying to get him to move. He didn’t budge, his hold on me showing me that he was pointedly choosing to ignore my warning, and God, the thought of coming in his mouth had my orgasm roaring to the surface. As I shot my load down his throat, Lucas’s tongue massaged the underside of my cock, milking and drinking down every last drop of me until I was shaking, my legs ready to give out from under me.

As the ringing in my ears began to subside, Lucas got to his feet, and I pulled up and zipped my pants. He still wasn’t looking at me as he wiped his mouth.

“Damn. Lucas, that was… Wow,” I said, my lips curving up as I reached for his hand, but either he didn’t see me or he chose not to, because he shoved his hands in his pockets and moved away.

“Thanks,” he said, the word short and clipped.

“Thanks?”

“Well, I suppose technically you should be thanking me.” His words dripped with sarcasm as the air between us cooled, and a sense of dread filled my gut.

“Did I…do something wrong?” I asked.

“Course not.”

“Okay,” I said, studying his face for a hint of what had just happened here. “Then what’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem.”

“Obviously that’s not true. You won’t even look at me.”

Lucas finally pinned me with a stare, but there was no emotion behind his eyes. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

My eyebrows shot up. Did I enjoy… Is he fucking kidding? “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Like you just did me a favor?” I gripped the back of my neck as his abrupt mood change chilled me to my core. “Wow.”

He turned his back on me as he headed toward the stairs. “I’m sure you remember there’s a guest room down the hall. You can stay there till the storm passes.”

I balked. “That’s it? That’s all I get from you?”

Lucas stopped with his hand on the railing. “Most would be fucking thrilled if that’s all they got from me.”

“You fucking asshole.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

“Do you think that’s why I came here? Because I wanted…that from you?”

He gave me a sadistic smile. “Oh, come on, Jackson. It’s called a blow job. You can say it.”

I opened my mouth to speak, to try to say something in that moment, but nothing felt right. It was like we’d had a small window of opportunity, of realization between us, and it was gone almost as soon as it’d come—pun completely intended. I didn’t recognize the cold, closed-off person standing there. Where had he come from and why?

“So. Thanks for coming by.” Lucas’s sarcasm slapped me in the face as he started up the stairs, and I found myself going after him.

“Lucas…”

He looked over his shoulder, and the expression in his eyes was unreadable—whatever was going through Lucas’s head, it was nothing he wanted to share with me. One thing I did know, though: I wasn’t welcome to follow.

I dropped my hand from the banister, and Lucas’s eyes narrowed slightly, a crease forming between his brows. Then, as fast as it had come, it was gone, and he left me standing there, in his house, as he shut himself inside his bedroom.