Chase Rogan rounded the open entryway of the stable.

Mason Finley walked toward him—shirtless, his sweat-soaked muscles glistening in the overhanging lights. He wore a cattleman cowboy hat that looked new. His hips and six-pack abs shifted as he approached Chase, his strut confident as ever, the bulge in his crotch reminding Chase of the impressive dick hiding behind the fly of his jeans.

Mason’s gaze met Chase’s, his blue eyes captivating Chase as they always did, transporting him back through their lives as he replayed what felt like a series of romantic, elusive dreams.

It wasn’t the first time Chase had replayed those memories.

They came unbidden every day. Not a few hours could pass without Chase recalling something about their relationship. They’d loved too long and cared too much for him to let any of it go so easily.

Laughter, joy, eagerness, excitement, wonder—these were the words Chase associated with their lives together.

When they were happy. When they were young.

It was a time when Chase couldn’t dream of a world without his man.

“Hi, Mason,” Chase said as his ex neared.

Age had only made Mason more beautiful, accentuating the features and the parts of his body Chase had always appreciated.

While Chase could see the noticeable difference in Mason’s appearance – the parts of him that were older and wiser than the kid he’d fallen in love with – he could still see the ten-year-old boy he’d fought with on the schoolyard playground, the boy who’d awoken sensations and emotions he hadn’t even known existed before he came to help out on the Finley’s dairy.

Eleven years? Had it really been that long since they’d ended their relationship?

“Howdy, Chase,” Mason said, which made Chase laugh because he only ever said “howdy” to tease.

Relief washed through Chase as he appreciated how Mason had eased the tension he’d expected when they saw each other again. It hadn’t been so long since the last time he’d been on the dairy. He’d visited the year before and plenty of times before that. But just briefly. No matter how many times he visited, the awkwardness of seeing Mason again always threw him. “Sorry. No one was at the house, and I saw Pa’s truck out here.”

He wasn’t Chase’s Pa, but he’d come to call him that just as he’d come to call Mason’s mother Ma. That’s what they had become to him anyway, since they were more parents to him than his own had ever been—than his own had ever wanted to be.

As Mason neared, he spread his arms as though he was about to offer a hug, but stopped himself.

“Oh… I’m kind of a mess right now.”

“It’s fine,” Chase said before hugging him.

That same spark—the one he always felt whenever they touched—ignited. Chase would never deny or attempt to deny the feelings Mason stirred within him. He couldn’t when his dick was already shifting in his pants, reminding him of night after night of steamy kisses and hot-as-hell sex. But it was more than fucking. Years of being without Mason had taught him that in a way no amount of time with him could have.

As Chase pulled away, it felt strange to feel so distant from his greatest love.

The man he’d always loved, but the man he couldn’t be with.

They stood in silence, gazing into each other’s eyes, communicating so much without saying a word.

Mason broke eye contact, and Chase felt as though he’d been abandoned. When he was a kid, being out of Mason’s gaze had always been the hardest thing for him, and it reminded him of a time when he was so dependent upon him, when Mason was the only thing in the world that mattered.

“Are you excited about Emery’s engagement?” Chase asked, his voice cracking in a way that made him want to hit himself for being incapable of keeping his cool.

Mason’s lips twisted into a smile. “Yeah. Jasper’s a good guy. He’s gonna make Emery real happy, I’m sure.”

“I’ve only seen him those last few times I came to visit, but he’s always been very friendly. Emery deserves the best.”

Even though he lived in Los Angeles, thousands of miles from the Finley’s place in North Georgia, he made sure to see the only family he’d ever known whenever he could, even at the risk of awakening the lingering discomfort that remained between him and Mason. This time would be different, though. It’d be worse than ever because of Emery’s engagement, since it would remind both of them of the beautiful day they shared with their family and friends when they made vows – all of which they’d now broken.

Destroyed.

“Where’s the family?” Chase asked.

“Emery went into town with some of the guys to get supplies from the Feed & Seed. Pa and Jasper won’t be back until later. They’re talking with a contractor about the new facilities. You want a drink?”

“I don’t want to keep you from whatever you were in the middle of.”

“I’m just laying down some hay. I can get back to it. Let’s head over to the house.”

He passed Chase and approached his Pa’s truck, right at the door to the stable.

He grabbed a black tee off the side of the bed and threw it on.

Disappointment raced through Chase as that body became hidden from his view.

He was glad they were heading to the house to get a drink. The emotions that flooded back to him from being back at the only real home he had, even for such a short time, overwhelmed his senses. He wanted to be numb, to avoid feeling. And being near his husband again brought up so many feelings.

***

When Mason first saw Chase standing in the stable doorway, a rush of excitement swept through him. He’d been waiting for his husband to arrive. He needed to see him again and had been for so long. But the sadness in Chase’s expression discouraged him. Was he sad because he didn’t want to see him? His own husband? Well, his sort of husband, really. For many years, their license wasn’t recognized throughout the country. It wasn’t until the Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage that suddenly they’d found themselves legally married once again. While they may have been married in the eyes of the law, to one another, they were just exes, free to see other people as they wished and live as if their marriage had never even happened.

Because of the unusual nature of how they found themselves united once again, neither had rushed to file for divorce. Mason figured Chase wanted to just ignore the mistake he’d made when they were eighteen, and Mason never said anything, if only out of fear that Chase might want to push to destroy the one thing that kept them bound together, if only by law.

Pa had warned them to be careful, but they’d been stubborn and confident about the love they shared. His confidence had since dissolved, however, and the only thing he could really believe was that even something as beautiful and magical as the love they had for one another could fall apart—burn like wildfire before fading into ash.

Mason remembered the fighting. The tension. The insecurities.

And a cold winter’s night when it all came to a bitter end.

On the walk to the house, they chatted about mundane things, the sort of conversation either of them might have had with a stranger.

Mason offered curt responses to all of Chase’s questions. They were the only way he could lash out at Chase, as he continually asked without speaking, “Why did you leave me?” But more than that, the more questions they asked, the more Mason realized there were too many subjects to cover. Chase had missed out on so much that they could never really catch up on over the course of his short visit. A week and a half wasn’t enough time, but was still much longer than the usual weekend trips he’d make to see them—surely at Emery’s insistence, not his own.

Mason opened the back door to the kitchen, and they walked in together.

“How’s Pa?” Chase asked. He’d already asked the question, but Mason’s quick reply apparently wasn’t satisfactory, and Chase was always one to press.

“He’s stressed about the transition,” Mason replied. “Won’t be easy going from three hundred cows to a thousand.”

“Where are they building the new milking parlor?”

“About a mile away on the other side of the pond. There’s more space, and that way, we can keep running this milking parlor in the interim.”

“I’ll have to check it out while I’m here. Emery was telling me it’s massive.”

Mason couldn’t help but notice Chase’s drifting gaze, which nearly settled on his crotch before he turned his head.

Mason approached the kitchen bar. “What’ll you have?”

“A Long Island Iced Tea, please,” Chase said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Mason turned back to him as Chase gave him a cheeky grin.

“Vodka and whatever you’re having,” Chase said.

Mason’s heart warmed as he enjoyed Chase’s humor—that humor that had a way of diffusing tension and lifting his spirits even during some of the most difficult moments in his life. Chase wore a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of pants that must’ve been tailored to sculpt perfectly around that incredible ass of his. Chase’s light-brown hair was gelled to the side, not a strand out of place, it seemed. This wasn’t the kid he used to work with at the dairy in jeans and a tee—if that much, even. This was a man who was off living a very different life than Mason and had been for eleven years.

“So this new dairy,” Chase continued. “Sounds like it’s gonna be a lot of work.”

“Pa’s not thrilled about the upgrade. This is going to be a whole lot more automated. But it’s the only way we can compete in the market right now. And if we don’t get on it, the Howards’ll be doing it before us, and we’ll be struggling just to keep up.”

“You have enough employees for that?”

“We’re working on it. Shorthanded now, but it’ll be fine until we get the bottle cows for the new place. It won’t be too bad, though.”

As Mason mixed their drinks, he grinned because talking to Chase about the dairy reminded him of the days when they would work it together, waking up early to perform their daily responsibilities. Back when they were in high school, Pa had needed the help when they’d transitioned from a hundred cows to three hundred, and he’d lost two of his guys to some of the other neighboring farms. Chase and Mason worked their asses off that summer. Now he was taking on that same heavy load, but this time without the man he loved by his side.

“Emery must be stressed as hell trying to keep on top of that and get ready for her wedding,” Chase said.

“Did you hear there’ll be about a hundred people between family and friends? Bigger than ours. Hope her maid of honor Tessa is up for the challenge. She’ll be coming to talk to Emery about the wedding in about a week. City girl. Lives in Atlanta.”

“Emery’s mentioned her. I know they went to school together, but we’ve never met,” Chase said as though he was annoyed Mason didn’t think that Emery would have told him about Tessa being her maid of honor.

“I figure she’ll debrief you as soon as she gets back. I’m surprised you were able to take off that much time from work. Usually you’re just here for a couple of days.”

“Emery didn’t give me much choice, but I wanted to see you guys again.”

His response confirmed Mason’s suspicion about Emery being the reason why he was staying longer.

“And I needed a break from work,” Chase added.

“How’s the firm?”

Chase worked in the legal department of a major accounting firm in Los Angeles. In some ways, Mason was proud as hell because it was the life Chase wanted—the life he deserved. But in other ways, he resented his success because it was what had pulled them away from one another.

“It’s been fine,” Chase replied, but Mason could tell by the way he said it that there was more to the story.

Chase shifted his gaze as Mason handed him his drink.

“It’s vodka Sprite,” Mason told him.

As Chase took the glass from him, their fingertips touched, and Mason felt the return of that same rush he always got whenever Chase’s skin was against his own. A primal passion tore through him as he locked his legs in place to keep from wrapping his arms around Chase and forcing him close for a kiss… and so much more. It was all that he wanted, all that he craved.

When Chase had his grip on the glass, Mason drew his hand back sharply to fight the impulses that their touch had stirred.

God, this was going to be hard for him. A week and a half with Chase was going to be painful for Mason, bringing back so many more memories that were best left undisturbed.

Mason sat at the kitchen table, and Chase settled in the chair adjacent to him.

“Whatever happened with that guy you were seeing last time you were here?” Mason knew the answer. They’d been apart for over a year, but he wanted to hear Chase say it.

“We’re not together anymore.”

Mason hated himself for how excited he was to hear the news, but even more, because Chase didn’t seem devastated by it. It was nearly effortless for him to say. Chase couldn’t hide his hurt, his pain, not from him. So Mason took great satisfaction in knowing the guy he’d broken up with a few months earlier hadn’t won Chase’s heart.

“That was a few years you were together, though,” Mason added.

“Three. Yeah,” Chase confirmed.

Three years?

He already knew that was how long they’d been together, but hearing it again made Mason’s jaw tense and his muscles stiffen.

He had to keep his cool though and not act like he was pissed, even though he’d always secretly had an urge to find the guy and kick his ass for fucking around with his husband.

His husband by law, but only by law.

“I was coming in through town and saw they shut down Mal Brenner’s yogurt shop,” Chase said, apparently redirecting the conversation.

Mason smiled at the mention of the place where they used to grab milkshakes together, where they’d had many of their early dates—before anyone even understood what they were, before they even understood the depth of their feelings for one another.

That was back in the beginning—the birth of their love, a time when they felt invincible.

Amazing how things had changed.

“Guess there are a lot of things that haven’t survived since then,” Mason said.

Chase’s expression shifted to one of sadness and pain, and he wished he could have taken back his cruel words, but in some ways, he was testing him. He wanted to know if it still hurt Chase the way it hurt him, because if it hadn’t, that would have been so much worse.

“So how do you like being a big Los Angeles boy now?” Mason asked.

“It’s fine. Busy with work, as usual. Not anything to write home about. Weather’s nice.”

“Not a lot of chances for snow out there, though.”

Chase chuckled, a familiar sparkle in his eyes. “Right?”

That took Mason back to a light snow day when they had played in the barn, when they’d been the only things to keep each other warm in a sweet passionate embrace that turned into so much more. He tried to shake it from his head, but it was still there, lingering.

The familiar sound of the truck engine came from outside.

Mason turned toward the sound. “I’m gonna get out there to help them unload—”

“I’ll help,” Chase offered, as quick to assist as ever. “Lemme change real quick.”

“Your old room’s still there, waiting on you,” Mason said.

“Okay, thank you. I’ll get my bags from the rental car and see you in a hot minute.”