FIFTEEN

Manwhore

I watch her leave, and I realize I need to get control back. I’m getting reckless. Naomi wasn’t in my plans, but everyone knew she’d hit Jennifer, and it spread through the town like wildfire. It burned my gut the slut laid a hand on my perfect girl. And then the sheriff, that damned knight in shining armor, had whisked her off in his truck. I was her knight… I should have been the one to rescue her. She could have died last night. When I tampered with his tire, I hadn’t thought that Jennifer would be in the truck. Stupid, I should have known. Of course he would put her in his truck at some point, he’s pursuing her at a rapid pace. I can see now that killing him will have to be up close and personal. I can’t risk something that might put her in danger. Time to eliminate this threat. It’s past time for the sheriff to die. I can’t let him soil my innocent, beautiful girl. She’s perfect, just like my Annie. I lost her once; I won’t lose her again.

“Hear you and the sheriff got in an accident last night.” I looked up from my porch as I made my way to Lorraine’s car and saw Mandy standing at the passenger door, smiling at me. Something in her smile told me she knew what happened last night, and I wasn’t talking about the car accident, either. So I ignored her question and waved. As I reached the car and crawled in the backseat, Mandy climbed in and then turned around with expectant eyes.

“Hey Mandy, what are you doing here?” I offered as an avoidance tactic.

“Lorraine figured, since I was already involved, I’d want to help out.” Nodding and looking at Lorraine, she shrugged, “I was at the coffee house when you called, and Mandy was there; I told her about your accident and she told me about your trespassing and decided we could use all the help we could get.”

“Ok, but Mandy, you can’t talk to anyone about this, all right? Jack would have my head.”

“Gotcha, mum’s the word.”

“Thanks for picking me up, Lorraine. I forgot my car was still in town.”

“Yes, the sheriff did seem eager to get you home last night.” She grinned and then pulled out of my drive. I tried to ignore her meaning, but Mandy wasn’t about to let it go.

“So, you and the Sheriff did the horizontal tango, huh?”

“Jesus, Mandy, this isn’t high school. I’m not talking about what happens with Jack.”

“Oh, come on, is he really as good as everyone says he is? I don’t trust those other women to tell me the truth.” I looked at Lorraine and saw her equally expectant eyes staring back at me from the mirror.

“What have the others said?”

“That his bat is huge, and he knows how to swing it.”

“That, ah, would be an accurate description of his baseball talents.” I couldn’t believe I’d been goaded into this. I watched Mandy and Lorraine hoot and holler, and then give each other a high five. Good lord, women are worse than men. Mandy turned around from the front seat, beaming.

“I knew a man that fine would have to be talented in bed.”

“Can we move on to something else?” I pleaded.

“Hell no, I want the details, as in every last inch of them.” I stared at her for a moment and then figured what the hell? Men talked about women all the time. So I told them the events of last night, and after I’d finished, they were both quiet. Lorraine, unfortunately, was the first to speak.

“God help me, I miss sex,” she said into the rear-view as she turned onto Elk Street heading towards McGill’s.

“I miss sex and I’m only thirty.” I looked at both women who were expecting a reply, so I figured if you couldn’t beat them, join them.

“I missed sex after sixteen months.”

“Try not having it for twenty years and then we’ll talk.” Mandy nodded her head then added, “Lorraine, you know they have these things you can use—”

“Got me one of those, girl, not the same as a sweaty man grinding on you.” For the second time that day, I felt I’d entered the twilight zone. Lorraine admitting to using a vibrator was now burned into my brain, and let’s face it: I loved her, but this was not something I needed to be picturing. She had to be pushing seventy.

“Outstanding, Lorraine, good to know that when I’m as old as you I’ll still be wanting sex.”

“You’ll want it. Problem is, will you be able to find a man who can provide it? They get limp at my age, you know.” Yep, another image I need to have removed. Then it hit me Ben was single.

“Lorraine, why don’t you ask Ben out for dinner?”

“You saying his parts still work?”

Shaking my head no, wondering why I’d opened my big mouth, I continued, “I don’t really have that information. He just, uh, seems like a guy who might, um, you know, still be able to, ah, storm the cotton gin, as they say.”

Lorraine was pulling into a parking space out front of McGill’s when I finished that statement, hopefully never to be repeated ever again, and looked at me from the rear-view mirror.

“I’ll ask him.” What?

“What?”

“I’ll ask him. We aren’t getting any younger, gotta take the bull by the horns or the man by the dick, or is it cock? Is that what they’re calling it these days, cock or dick?”

I sat in complete and utter silence when she finished, but Mandy burst out laughing, and Lorraine just smiled and winked at me, then got out of the car. Oh, God, she isn’t really going to ask him, is she? I jumped out of the car, wishing I’d never opened my mouth and followed Lorraine, who was making a beeline for our table.

Ben was in his seat waiting, but Gerry hadn’t arrived yet. Praying she was joking, I walked over to Rosie and placed a coffee order, then headed toward the table. I heard Lorraine say, “Call me,” and tried not to look at Ben to see his reaction, but, God help me, I did, and he was grinning. Shit, now I knew his equipment still worked, beautiful...

Deciding it was time to move on to something else besides everyone’s sex lives, I pulled out my notes and handed Ben, Mandy, and Lorraine a piece of paper.

“Since Naomi is the second woman Jack has dated to be killed, Gerry thought the killer might be connected to him in some way, and I tend to agree. So I want you three to write down every woman Jack has had a relationship with.” Mandy took the paper, looked at it and then announced, “I’m gonna need more than one sheet of paper.”

“That many?” I squeaked.

“Oh, yeah,” she replied with wide eyes.

“Oh, my God.” I felt the blood run from my face.

“Now, Jennifer, Jack’s a man, he’s single, and lots of women throw themselves at him. He hasn’t had more than, say, six or seven real relationships since he was twenty,” Lorraine added.

“Oh, my God, he’s a manwhore, isn’t he?” I replied, ignoring her.

“Jenny, he’s a man, a man’s man. He’s busy taking care of the county, and that doesn’t give him a lot of time for romance, so he gets it when he can,” Ben added.

“So I’m just one of the women he “gets it from” when he can?” I asked, getting sicker by the minute. Shit, what was I thinking, falling into bed with him so quickly?

“Now darlin’, I didn’t say that. He acts different with you. In fact, don’t think I’ve ever seen him act this way, now that I think about it.” I didn’t know whether Ben was telling the truth or trying to ease my growing anxiety, but I tried not to think I might just be another notch on Jack’s bedpost.

“Where is Gerry, he was supposed to be here?” I inquired, sounding a little shrill even to my own ears. The others looked at me funny, and I realized I’d just moved on from the subject of Jack and that I did it with very little finesse.

Ben looked at Lorraine and then answered me, “He got a call from some folks wanting to take a ride down the river. Said he’d be back either in the morning or late afternoon.”

“Ok, well, get to writing those lists then. If this killer is connected to Jack, we need to warn these women to be careful.”

I lowered my head to avoid their stares and started digging through my bag, pretending I was looking for something. Shit, am I another notch in his bedpost or am I more than that?

Needing a distraction to take my mind off this until I could think in private, I decided to work on my story. Going over my notes and putting them in chronological order, I noted who was killed first, where they were from, how long they had lived there, hair color, eye color, and whether or not they knew Jack. The first two didn’t, and it made me wonder. If the killer had a problem with Jack, why were the first two women strangers to him? And since Naomi was a blonde and the others brunettes, did the hair color even mean anything?

After fifteen minutes of writing, Lorraine, Mandy, and Ben compared their lists and added some more, then argued over some of the names. When they were done, they handed the list to me, and I looked at them before reading the names.

All three of them looked nervous.

I looked at the list and then went cross-eyed. Thirty-seven names were on it…Thirty-seven. Holy Shit.

I cleared my throat and then nodded, “Ok, right, well why don’t we split up the list, we can each take names and get through them faster?”

Mandy stood and went behind the bar to grab the phone book from Rosie, and we all pulled out our cell phones. Taking my list of twelve names, I looked up the number for an Amber Mooney, dialed it, and prayed to God I could get through this. Unfortunately, not once did it occur to me that these women might know who I was—a stupid, silly, naive girl from Kansas—before I introduced myself.

“Hello.”

“May I speak with Amber, please?”

“Speaking.”

“Amber, this is Jennifer Stewart with the Gunnison Times—”

“Aren’t you that woman Jack is seeing?”

“Pardon?”

“You’re that new woman in town that Jack Gunnison is seeing?”

“I, ah, yes.”

“Are you calling to ask me if you should run for the hills?”

“I, uh—”

“Run for the hills, sugar. He’s nothing but heartbreak waiting to happen. That man will never settle down. Do yourself a favor and listen to me when I say R.U.N.”

“Um, ok, I’ll take that under advisement. I was calling to…oh, man…I was calling to tell you, that since there was another murder involving a woman that Jack dated, we thought you should be careful. You know, keep a lookout.”

“Oh, my God, am I gonna be next?”

“Oh, I, shit, Amber, to be honest, we don’t know what’s going on, but since there were two women murdered who dated Jack, a group of us just thought we should warn you. You know, give a heads-up; that’s all.”

“So this isn’t an official warning?”

“NO, no, I’m working on the story, and I just felt it was something that I should do, that’s all.”

“Oh, ok. Well, thanks for the warning. I guess I should say the same thing to you too. Keep your eyes open and be careful of the killer and Jack, if you know what I mean.”

Nodding my head, ‘cause I knew exactly what she meant, I thanked her for her time and hung up. I looked around the table, and all eyes were on me. I picked up my coffee, took a drink, and started looking for the next woman’s number.

Not ready for another phone call like the last one, I listened as Ben, then Lorraine, fielded questions from women about how much danger they were in, when Mandy leaned into me.

“Jack's a good guy. Don’t let these women make you think otherwise.”

I was staring at Mandy, wondering if I’d make the cut or if I should just cut my losses now and run like Amber said, when my phone rang. I looked down at the screen and saw “Bossy Calling.” Something told me not to answer it, but I didn’t listen.

“Hello.”

“Jesus, Jenn, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Um, warning women to be careful.”

“You’re starting a riot, that’s what you’re doing,” he bit off. “My phone won’t stop ringing; all the calls are from women I haven’t talked to in years. I don’t need this on top of everything else that is going on,” he growled.

“I was just trying to give them a heads-up, Jack. They need to know to be safe.”

“Jenn, I don’t even know if this is connected to me and you’ve got every woman I’ve ever said hi to calling me to find out if they’re next.” Jack seethed, and I could feel my temper start to rise.

“I can see where that would be a problem since you’ve said “hi” to half the population of Gunnison,” I snapped back.

“I never said I was a monk,” he shouted.

“Well, thank God for that, because if this list of thirty-seven names even scratches the tip of the iceberg of whom you’ve slept with, then you’re more likely to get invited to Hugh Hefner’s house than the house of God,” I shouted even louder.

“Jesus, I don’t have time for this shit,” he barked, and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I was just trying to keep these women safe, and maybe I didn't think it through before I called them, but even so, finding out how many women he'd been with and how unlikely it was that he would ever settle down and more than likely break my heart, I decided I didn’t need some quiet reflection, I needed to end this now and save us both the trouble.

“I don’t have time for this, either, Jack. In fact, I’ll let you off the hook. Thanks for the ride last night, figuratively and literally speaking, but I have a date to get to, so you'll have to excuse me. I need to go.”

“Jesus, Jenn—”

I hung up my phone before he finished and heard coughing around the table. Ben’s eyes held sadness and Lorraine actually grinned at me.

“That will get his attention. He’s never had a woman end things with him.”

“What? I’m not trying to get his attention, Lorraine. I knew he was a serial dater and still let him in. I’m so stupid. I refuse to end up another name on that list.” Even though, technically, I’m already on it. Shit!

“Jennifer, even an alley cat meets its match, and Jack isn’t a serial dater. His mom and dad had a beautiful marriage; he’s just been trying to find someone who completes him the way they completed each other.”

“You’re trying to tell me that out of all the women on that list, none of them was marriage material?”

“I’m telling you they all were, but none of them were the right one for Jack. He needs a woman who intrigues him, one who doesn’t lie down and let him walk all over her. One who will do what she wants and ignore his macho man ways. He needs a woman who knows her own mind and isn’t content with sitting at home waiting for him to walk through the door.”

“I’m not sure a woman like that exists.”

“I think she does. In fact, I think I’m looking at her right now.” Stunned to hear that anyone saw me as a woman that independent, I smiled at her, and she winked. My phone started ringing again, and I saw “Bossy Calling” scrolled across the screen. I looked at Lorraine, then looked to Mandy, and then Ben said, “Answer him, Jenny, he’s waiting.”

Taking a deep breath, I swiped the phone and put it to my ear.

“Hello.”

“You over your snit?”

“No, but I’m getting there.”

“You still remember what I said about the mayor?” Rolling my eyes because men moved on from fights like women moved on to gossip—quickly, if you’re wondering—I answered him.

“Yes, I remember.”

“Good, now do me a favor and stop calling these women. I’ll save you some time and trouble by giving you some information: Amber is the only one who hates me, and once you called her, she made it her life’s mission to call everyone else. She’ll get the job done for you and free up your day… And just so we're clear. If you think I'll let you walk away from me that easily, you need to think again. After last night, no fucking way am I letting you go, so deal with it.”

“Whatever,” I snipped.

“Smartass.”

“Bossy,” I smiled.

“That’s my girl.” Oh, my God, I think I am….

Smiling and accepting my fate as Jack’s woman, I told him goodbye, “I need to go, Jack, I have work to do and so do you.”

“All right, Jenn, call me after your lunch with the mayor.”

“Later, Jack.”

“Later, Jenn.”

I hung up the phone, only to meet three smiling faces. “Never thought I’d see the day that some half pint of a woman could bring Jack Gunnison to his knees. If I hadn’t seen it myself, I wouldn’t have believed it,” Ben laughed, so I rolled my eyes at him and grinned. These people were as close to family as I had here, and if they thought Jack was worth the time, I guess I did too.

I repeated Jack’s message about Amber doing our job, and we decided to head into Gunnison to get my jeep. Mandy and I were climbing into Lorraine’s car when Ben pulled Lorraine aside and whispered in her ear, then looked at his watch. Lorraine grew a smile and then kissed his cheek, and all I could think at that moment was: Wait till I tell Bailey that sex doesn’t end at fifty or sixty. Hell, sex doesn't even end at seventy…. Oh, God, does that mean my parents still do it?