Mallory didn’t see or speak to Greg at all for the rest of the week. When Friday came around she was dreading seeing him. She drove to his house with Ruby. With more than a little trepidation, she knocked on his door at five as he had instructed.
The door opened, but it wasn’t Greg who answered. ‘Hello, can I help you?’ A woman, about the same age as Mallory, stood there in front of her. She had long black hair with blue streaks that fell, tied in bunches around her shoulders. Her big blue eyes were lined with thick black kohl and her lips were stained bright red and stood out starkly against her pale skin. She had nose and lip piercings and a tattoo on her left wrist of a series of Celtic symbols. She was Scottish, like Greg.
‘Erm, is Greg here?’ Mallory asked, a little bemused at the girl’s attire. She was wearing what looked like one of Greg’s T-shirts and little else.
Realisation spread across the woman’s face. ‘Oh yes, sorry. You must be Mallory. I’ve been hearing all about you. And this must be Ruby? Come in, he’s just upstairs.’ Mallory followed her inside. ‘I’m Trina by the way,’ she announced but Mallory didn’t much care.
Greg came down the stairs. He too was almost naked apart from his black jeans hung low on his hips. God, he really was defined. She now saw that he had a tattoo stretching halfway across his toned and muscular chest that she hadn’t seen before. He certainly looked good for thirty-seven. He was smiling as he walked over and slid his arms around Trina’s waist.
‘Oh hi, Mally, have you brought Rubes for me?’ he enquired, all smiles. A complete contrast to the mood he had been in when they last met. So mercurial. Mallory couldn’t help but think it all a little contrived.
‘Erm, yes but if it’s not convenient anymore, Ron said—’
‘No, no, don’t be daft! We’re happy to have her, aren’t we Trina?’ Trina nodded enthusiastically; hanging on Greg’s every word. ‘We’ll take good care of her, don’t you worry. She’ll have great fun with Angus, won’t you girl?’ Ruby wagged her tail excitedly at his voice.
Mallory let go of Ruby’s lead and the little dog ran to Greg. Tears stung the back of Mallory’s eyes and she turned to leave as quickly as she could.
Greg followed, thankfully without Trina in tow. ‘Hey, Mally, are you okay?’ he called after her. ‘She will be fine you know,’ he said reassuringly as she stopped at her car without turning around.
‘I know that. I’m just going to miss her.’ She wasn’t entirely sure that missing Ruby was the reason for her tears.
Greg walked over to her with his feet bare. ‘Look, I wanted to apologise.’ He tilted her chin so that she would look at him. ‘I was an arse, yet again, last time we spoke. I don’t know what was wrong. But I had a few days away and met Trina, she’s nice, eh?’ he enthused.
‘Oh yes, she seems delightful,’ she answered rather sardonically.
‘Aye, I had a lot of thinking to do, but it’s done and I’m over it now.’ He opened his arms as if to show her the evidence. She looked at the tattoo on his chest; it was a series of foreign-looking words. She figured it out to be a Gaelic phrase but had no idea what it said.
‘Good for you.’ She smiled, trying to be genuine.
‘Aye, well there’s no point wanting what you can’t have, eh?’ He smiled, glancing back to the house.
‘No, no point at all,’ she agreed, but wasn’t sure exactly what he meant. ‘I’ll be off then, I’m staying at a hotel near the airport with the Buchanans tonight and then we fly early morning.’
‘Well have a brilliant time, eh? And don’t worry about this place. We’ll all still be here when you get back.’
‘Great… see you in three weeks then.’ She forced another smile and went to climb into her car.
‘Don’t you have a hug for your bestie, eh?’ he chuckled, holding his arms open. Reluctantly she stepped into his arms and accepted his embrace. He was surprisingly warm despite his lack of clothing. He did the thing that men do when they hug; he patted her back roughly – she was clearly ‘one of the guys.’ She pulled away and got into her car.
She glanced up at Greg who now looked confused; his frown creating a crease right between his eyebrows. She waved and drove away. Greg simply stood and watched her leave; one hand raised and the frown ever present.
*
July 2015
The flight was long and she tried to sleep but failed and ended up reaching in to her bag to take her eReader out. Her hand brushed over the small box she had been issued by the crematorium so that she could bring some of Sam’s ashes home to his mom. Once she had handed over the box, Renee clung to her and cried, thanking her for being so understanding and telling her that she was going to plant a tree in the garden beside the one she had planted for her husband. A fitting tribute for a man who had loved nature.
It was good to be back in Canada; back in Sam’s old room where she felt a closeness to him.
Renee had put framed photos of the two of them together around the place. There was a vase on the top of Sam’s dresser that Renee had been filling with fresh flowers every couple of days.
Her first week had been a little emotionally draining. The family had showed her some home movies of Sam and Ryan as kids. She got to see his dad and was surprised how alike they were. Photo album after photo album was piled up on the floor and they sat around thumbing through pictures that Mallory knew Sam would’ve hated her to see. She could imagine him sitting there, hiding behind a cushion as his mom cooed about how handsome her sons were.
She had cried a lot in the bed where she and Sam had made love. At night, she hugged the pillow that Sam slept on and felt sure she could smell him even though the linens were freshly laundered.
She had put Greg and his weird behaviour/midlife crisis out of her mind mostly, apart from the odd brief call to check on Ruby, and had joined in the family outings and meals. It felt good to be surrounded by a real family again. It had been so long and she had missed it.
At the beginning of her second week, Cara had taken Mallory shopping in Kingston. She had bought nearly a whole new wardrobe of clothes and was wondering if her baggage allowance would take it on her journey home.
The day after shopping was a day of art galleries. Mallory was in seventh heaven. There was a Julian Forster original on display and she stood for what felt like forever just staring at it. She and Sam had been to an exhibition of his in Edinburgh once and they had both agreed on how talented he was. Funny that this piece should be in Canada now. At the end of the visit she purchased a beautiful little print of a painting she had fallen for immediately. It was of a couple standing on a pier, looking out to sea whilst they held each other. It kind of reminded her of standing with Sam on the Atlantic Bridge.
That night she went drinking and dancing with Cara, Ryan and a few of their friends. They danced all night and Mallory drank far too many jell-o shots. She even remembered kissing a total stranger and then at the end of the evening she had been a sobbing mess – the worst kind of drunk – and had cried all over Ryan’s shirt, staining it with mascara. All the way home in the cab she had sobbed, apologising to Ryan and Cara over and over for her behaviour and for betraying Sam’s memory. What she failed to realise is that they understood and wanted her to stop feeling guilty already.
The morning after the nightclub Mallory awoke late and was too ill to get up. Her tongue felt like it could be used to carpet the stairs and her head was thumping to a beat of its own making. Renee brought her a tray of breakfast in along with some Advil for her head. She gave Mallory a knowing look and shook her head smiling.
Seeing Renee made Mallory’s eyes well with tears. ‘I’m so sorry, Renee,’ she sobbed, feeling ashamed of her behaviour. She wasn’t sick, although in hindsight being sick would probably have taken the edge off the hangover.
Renee stroked her cheek, ‘Oh darling, we’ve all let our hair down. Even me.’ She winked.
Mallory couldn’t imagine Renee doing jell-o shots and dancing on tables.
Once she had forced down the bacon and maple syrup that Renee had brought her, drunk her coffee and freshened herself in the en-suite bathroom, she made her way downstairs to face the music. They were all sitting around the breakfast bar in the kitchen chatting and drinking coffee.
‘Ah, here’s my English little sis,’ Ryan announced as Mallory appeared in front of them all.
‘Morning everyone. Listen I know what I did last night and I wanted to say—’
Ryan held his hands up as he interrupted her, ‘Mallory. Stop. You have nothing to apologise for. You said sorry around a hundred times last night and you got mascara all over my new shirt.’ He laughed
Mallory’s lip quivered. ‘I… I feel so ashamed.’ She put her hands to either side of her face as tears of embarrassment cascaded down her cheeks.
Ryan walked over and hugged her. ‘Hey, c’mon, don’t you cry again. This is a clean shirt. I’m warning you.’ He smiled down at her. ‘You’ve been through so much, honey. We all get it. We know that you can’t be alone forever and we don’t want you to be. That guy last night seemed nice. He gave me his number and asked if I would pass it on. Do you want it?’
‘Oh, no! I can’t believe I kissed him. It was awful. I didn’t even find him attractive. How terrible of me. You must all think I’m such a slut.’
Renee gasped and shook her head. ‘We think nothing of the sort, dear. You couldn’t be more wrong.’ She spoke softly, trying to defuse Mallory’s anguish.
Ryan chuckled. ‘Mallory, will you stop? So you kissed a guy and you didn’t like it – hey didn’t someone write a song about that?’ He chuckled at his lame Katy Perry reference. ‘Next time it may be someone you actually like and that’d be cool,’ he reassured her.
After the family had spent an hour convincing Mallory that they still loved her, in spite of her kissing a total stranger, they convinced her to grab a bag with her bathing suit, sun lotion and a towel. They were taking her to Alwington beach.
It was a beautiful old beach surrounded by large country estates owned by very wealthy people. Luckily, Renee had friends in high places and so they all went along to sunbathe and splash about in the water.
Mallory enjoyed laying there, sunglasses covering her eyes and the sun beating down on her skin.
After she had laid there for a while, someone blocked out the sunlight and she opened her eyes to find Ryan standing beside her. ‘Hey, Mally, are you okay?’
She nodded. ‘My head’s still a bit fuzzy but I’ll live.’
‘Maybe a swim will help?’ He smiled and gestured behind him. ‘C’mon, the water is… ahhh… okay I won’t lie, it’s freezing, but not too bad once you get in. Come on! You know you wanna!’ He ran off to grab Cara and pull her into the water with him. She squealed with delight as he picked her up and spun her around before depositing her into the icy waters of Lake Ontario.
Mallory laughed as she watched them from a safe distance. For some reason Greg sprang to her mind. He had given her the ‘happy to be friends’ speech and then had gone off and picked up some random girl who now seemed to have taken up half-naked residence in his house.
She mentally slapped herself as the thoughts whizzed through her mind. What right have you got to judge him? He’s single. He’s attractive. He’s a man and men, like women, have needs. So, he’s screwing an Addam’s Family reject, what is it to you? You don’t want him. You just don’t want anyone else to have him.
She recoiled at the barrage from her subconscious. Was that the problem? Did she want him to want her? Was it true that she liked feeling wanted, but didn’t like it when his attentions were clearly aimed at someone else?
Mallory’s heart pounded as she thought through and analysed her reaction to seeing Trina at Greg’s house. Immediately another snide comment sprang forth. He’s only known her two minutes. What kind of man moves a woman into his house after that long? A desperate, pathetic, sad and lonely man, that’s what. Maybe a man with something to prove? She shook her head as if doing so would eradicate the mental altercation between the two parts of her psyche. And anyway, you don’t know that she’s moved in, for goodness’ sake.
She stood up, threw her glasses down on her lounger and ran straight for the cold water. That was one way to derail her current destructive and pointless train of thought.
*
The days seemed to fly by and before she knew it she was down to her last three days with the Buchanan family. It had been such a wonderful experience. A lot had happened for Mallory in three short weeks, including planning a memorial service in Sam’s honour where Mallory would get to meet all of the people who loved Sam and becoming godmother to Ryan and Cara’s little boy at his baptism. They named him Dylan Samuel Buchanan and she had cried when she had discovered this. Knowing Sam’s name would live on in the family filled her with a combination of happiness and regret that he wasn’t here to realise it.
In some ways she felt that being there without Sam gave her a sense of closure. She knew now that what she had with Sam was extra special, but that she didn’t want to give up on love entirely. She saw the way that Cara and Ryan looked at each other and the way they looked at their baby son. She had listened to stories of Sam’s dad from Renee. The fondness with which she spoke about Bill Buchanan made Mallory want to love again.
Sam had always been obsessed with her happiness and had even made her cry once by insisting that if ever anything happened to him she should move on and remarry. Remarry. If only she had married in the first place.
Thursday brought rain and lots of it. The family spent a fun day indoors playing on the games consoles and sitting at the table playing cards. Mallory had wowed them with her poker skills and had taken almost all their matchsticks. Ryan insisted that the next time she came over there would be a rematch – then he had apologised for the bad pun.
Thursday evening, they had decided to go and eat out. They had toyed with the idea of several different restaurants, but couldn’t agree on a single one. Mallory had been listening to Renee and Ryan arguing over the Steak House on King Street, which Ryan championed, and the Japanese place on Division Street that was Renee’s choice.
‘Can we go to Aqua Terra, please?’ Mallory’s voice was small, but they all turned to look at her. ‘I… I’d really like to. It’ll be hard, but I feel I need to go there before I go home.’
Renee immediately picked up the phone and rang the restaurant to speak to the owner.
Their table was booked for eight and she had worn the red dress that she had bought back in Scotland. When they arrived, her senses were bombarded with the sights, sounds and aromas from the night almost exactly a year ago when Sam had proposed. The music was the same. It drifted through the air and transported her back in time to that happy evening.
Mallory was understandably quiet throughout dinner and Renee kept squeezing her hand to ensure that she was okay. Mallory nodded each time. Eventually, when dinner was done, Ryan asked her to dance. He took her hand and led her to the dance floor. He held one hand at the small of her back and Mallory’s right hand in his left as they swayed to the sounds of ‘That’s Life’ by good old Frank Sinatra. The lyrics seemed somehow apt and Mallory smiled as she leaned her head on Ryan’s chest. She didn’t cry, even though she had thoroughly expected to. At least that was some kind of progress.
*
Friday came around too soon. It was her last day in Canada with the wonderful Buchanan family and Mallory was packing her suitcase.
Renee knocked on the bedroom door and entered. ‘Hi, darling. I just wanted to check that you are okay?’
She smiled. ‘I’m fine thanks, Renee. I’m just trying to figure out how to get all this stuff in my suitcase.’
Renee began to assist her with the mammoth task of folding. ‘I hope this time away from home has been helpful to you, honey.’ She lightly squeezed Mallory’s arm.
‘I’ve loved being here, Renee. I’ve felt closer to Sam. But I feel I’ve been able to deal with my grief easier being amongst all of you.’
Renee nodded. ‘It’s been good to have you here. I think it’s helped all of us too. Losing Sam was so difficult, but we made a pact as a family not to dwell on the sadness.’ She sat down on the bed, ‘Sam was so full of life. He would hate us all sitting around crying and gnashing our teeth.’
Renee paused and fiddled with the hem of a top she was folding. ‘After his uncle’s funeral, he told me that if ever he died, he wanted people to wear bright colours and laugh. I just didn’t want to do that at the time. But I thought the gathering we have been planning for tonight would be a wonderful time to do that. I mentioned it to everyone and they are waiting for the go-ahead. What do you think?’ Renee cringed as she awaited Mallory’s response.
Mallory sat down too, absorbing Renee’s words. ‘Oh, wow. I think it’s a wonderful idea.’
Renee exhaled a sigh and looked relieved. ‘Oh, that’s wonderful, darling. I’m so happy you think so.’ She held Mallory’s hand in hers. ‘Ryan and Cara are out in the yard hanging coloured lights on all of the trees, whilst Dylan sleeps. The food should be arriving soon and Ryan has put up the gazebo and strung that with lights too. I have asked everyone to write something down to read out and as you suggested we have some lanterns to release. It’ll be so beautiful.’ A tear cascaded down Renee’s cheek and Mallory hugged her.
*
Everything was arranged for eight that evening, in time for when the sun was descending. The weather was being kind and even the earlier breeze had dropped.
Mallory wore her bright red top and white linen trousers. She walked downstairs when she was ready and out into the back garden. She inhaled sharply as she saw the stunning sight before her. The garden twinkled with thousands of coloured fairy lights in all of the trees. It was so beautiful and she knew Sam would have loved it.
There were coloured lanterns hanging from spikes in the grass and around the edge of the gazebo and a long table displaying an array of rainbow-coloured food. There was a large photograph of Sam on the table with a garland of colourful paper flowers strung around it. The photo was one that Mallory had taken in Edinburgh with the backdrop of the colourful buildings of Grassmarket behind him and that wonderful grin on his face. She had sent a copy of it to Renee for Christmas. He looked so very handsome and happy; his green eyes vivid and sparkling.
Gradually people began to arrive and fill up the garden. She had met some of them when she was over in Canada last time with Sam by her side but everyone was kind and friendly. She was hugged and kissed more times than she could keep track of.
At ten o’clock Renee clinked her glass and a hush fell across the twinkling garden.
‘Thank you so much for coming tonight everyone. As you know, we’re here to celebrate the life of my son, Ryan’s brother and Mallory’s fiancé. He was such a special boy, but I know I’m preaching to the converted when I say that.’ Her words choked in her throat, but after a reassuring squeeze on her arm from Ryan she continued. ‘I asked all of you to write down a memory on a little tag you were given. We’re going to each read them aloud and once they are attached to the lanterns we’ll release them into this beautiful clear night sky.’
Everyone was silent as the first person came up to read their memory. Mallory could feel her emotions rising to the surface, so she took her place by Renee’s side and held her hand. They knew they were in for a rough ride.
‘I knew Sam from kindergarten. He was one nice guy. My earliest memory is the best one. I had joined kindergarten as the new kid. None of the other kids wanted to play with me, but Sam came over and handed me half his snack and told me his name.’ The large tough-looking man choked back a tear. ‘That has stuck with me ever since and we stayed friends from that day. And now the world is worse off for losing him.’ He wiped his eyes as he was handed his lantern and dutifully tied his tag on.
‘I worked with Sam at Woolworths when we were in college,’ the pretty redhead told the group. ‘We used to laugh all the time. The most vivid memory I have is when we had to chase a shoplifter down the street. It was a woman who was wearing a wig with things hidden underneath and as she ran away the wig flew off. It was such a crazy sight and Sam and I had to stop running as we could hardly breathe for laughing.’ She smiled. ‘I kept in touch via email and he came to my wedding. I miss those emails… I miss hearing his news.’ She tied her tag to a lantern.
‘Sam and I were good friends at High School. When you met Sam, you knew that his friendship was for life. He was there for me when my dad got ill. He supported me when I thought I couldn’t cope,’ the mousy-haired skinny man said as he fought back tears. ‘I used to get called “geek” and all sorts of other names at school by the supposed “cool” kids. Sam was different. He was popular and compassionate. I love you, man,’ he ended, looking up to the night sky and stepping down before his emotions got the better of him.
The memories ranged from school to work colleagues. It was so very emotional for Mallory, hearing how well thought of her man had been. There were a few jokes too which lightened the mood.
After a while it was Ryan’s turn. ‘Losing my bro is one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, losing Dad was bad enough. We weren’t like a lot of brothers. There was no real sibling rivalry. Don’t get me wrong, he was such an idiot sometimes, like the time he decided to put the Christmas lights on the roof to save Dad a job and we had to get the fire department out ’cause he got scared and couldn’t move. We ribbed him about that for years. But he was there for me no matter what. When Cara and I split up briefly in college and I was so sure none of it was my fault. He somehow made me realise that it was actually all me, being an ass. Maybe if he hadn’t done that I wouldn’t have my beautiful wife and son.’ He rubbed his eyes and looked up at the sky. ‘If you’re up there lookin’ down bro, keep an eye out for Dylan, ’kay?’ He stepped away and tied his tag on his lantern.
Renee stepped forward to speak. She was shaking and squeezing Mallory’s hand the whole time. ‘My sons have always made me so very happy. They have been loving and kind. They’ve helped people in need all through their lives and I couldn’t be more proud. Cara came along and completed my Ryan’s soul. He has never been happier since they got married. She’s wonderful and I know Sam adored her too. Sam was always the outdoors type. Even as a child he was always off trekking somewhere or other. Climbing trees or rocks and coming home with grazed knees. He loved to be in the open air and you can hardly get in our loft for all the scenic photos he’s taken over the years. We were all shocked when he agreed to go to England and become a white-collar worker in his fancy suits. But then one day it all fell into place. It was all meant to be.’
She smiled at Mallory. ‘One day, not so long ago, Sam told us he was finally, utterly, irrevocably, head over heels in love with a beautiful English girl he had met within two months of being there. We were all delighted. When we had the pleasure of meeting the soul who had completed our Sam, we all fell in love with her too. And his love of the outdoors was shared by Mallory. They bought their home in Scotland and he had his dream come true; Mallory, the outdoors and the amazing backdrop of the Highlands. Sadly, now Mallory has to live the dream without him.’
A tear escaped and she simply let it fall. ‘Sam will be missed more than words can say, but I hope Mallory knows…’ She turned to address Mallory directly. ‘I hope you know, sweetheart, that some of the best memories I have of Sam are of Sam with you.’ She hugged Mallory hard as the tears came. Mallory held onto Renee as if she held the very essence of Sam within her.
It was Mallory’s turn to speak now. She had to muster up every ounce of strength she could find. She had actually planned out what she was going to say to him on their wedding day and it felt fitting to say most of the words now.
Mallory closed her eyes and with a trembling voice, began to speak from the bottom of her heart. ‘Sam, I literally fell into your life, one cold December lunchtime. You made me laugh so much and I knew right then and there that my heart was yours. The way you looked at me, let me know that, even though I doubted myself, you saw me. You saw the light inside me and you made it glow brighter than ever simply by being with me.’
With her lip quivering she inhaled a little courage. ‘You made everything fun and even when we argued you made me laugh, which I said I hated, but I didn’t really and you knew that. I miss you so much that I sometimes forget to eat, which isn’t like me.’ She laughed through her tears. ‘Being here these past few weeks has helped me to love you more, but also to let you go. But I want you to know that you’ll always be in my heart. I love you, Sam.’ She could hear little sobs coming from the small gathered crowd of friends and family and her heart ached.
The crowd wandered down the garden to the area which took them away from the trees. They stood in silence and, in small groups, released their lanterns. The sky lit up as they floated away in peaceful silence. The lanterns danced and played in the slight breeze as they floated higher and higher towards the heavens. It was a truly breath-taking sight. They all stood and watched for a while. Renee, Ryan, Cara and Mallory clung onto each other.
With tears streaming down her face Mallory whispered, ‘Goodbye, Sam, I love you.’
*
After a six and a half hour flight from Toronto to Glasgow, Mallory alighted the plane at eleven fifteen a.m. It was raining heavily when she climbed into the chauffeur-driven car that had been arranged for her as a treat by the Buchanans. She relaxed into the seat and thought back to her wonderful holiday. A serene calmness filled her now; one that she hadn’t felt since before Sam’s death.
The sleek black Mercedes pulled up outside her cottage and the driver opened the door and helped her out. She went to unlock the door and the kind driver, Michael, brought all of her bags inside for her. She thanked him and he wished her well.
She closed the door and looked around her lounge. It felt good to be home. Home, she repeated in her mind. The word seemed to finally fit. She took her bags, one by one, up to her room and dropped them on the floor. They would have to wait. She wanted to see Ruby-doo.
Moments later, and ignoring her tiredness, she started the engine on her little yellow car and it reluctantly spluttered to life. Pulling away from her cottage, she set off for Greg’s house. She had informed him by text of her ETA but hadn’t had a reply so wasn’t sure if he would be around. In addition to that she wondered if Trina would be there, scantily clad in something of Greg’s. For a moment she wondered if she should call ahead to give the woman fair warning to put some damn clothes on. She frowned at the realisation that Trina’s presence irked her and turned up the radio to keep her mind occupied.
When she arrived, he was outside in the rain messing about under the bonnet of the Land Rover. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, startled, banging his head on the hood.
‘Ahhh, shit!’ He rubbed his head and then realised who the culprit was. ‘Mallory! You’re home!’ He went to hug her but stopped, looking down at his oil-covered wet clothes.
Mallory sniggered. ‘Yep, I’m home.’ Her stomach fluttered a little and she smiled. It was really good to see him in spite of how things had been left before her holiday.
Wiping his hands down his grimy T-shirt, he gestured to the house. ‘Come in, I’ll make us a coffee.’
She followed him in and Ruby came scurrying towards her making little yappy noises and whining. The little fluff ball had missed her owner so very much, that much was clear. Mallory got down to floor level and cuddled her little black dog.
‘Has she been okay?’ Mallory asked as she nuzzled Ruby’s spikey fur.
‘Aye. She was fretting a wee bit to begin with but I think Angus brought her around. She’s followed him like a little shadow.’ Greg clanked around filling the kettle and taking mugs from the cupboard.
‘Oh I… erm… brought you this as a thank you.’ She handed Greg the little gift bag.
His eyes widened. ‘Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything. I was happy to help.’
She shrugged. ‘It’s not much.’
He pulled out the little black box from the gift bag and opened it. ‘Oh, wow, that’s beautiful.’ He lifted out the turquoise and shell bracelet and held it aloft to look at it more closely.
‘It was made by the Chippewa tribe in Ontario and I know you like symbols and things. The crossed arrow charm hanging from it represents friendship.’
He swallowed hard and remained silent as if trying to find the right words. ‘I… I love it. Thank you,’ he eventually croaked as he slipped it on his wrist.
‘So, where’s Trina?’ Mallory eventually enquired, trying to appear nonchalant.
Greg ran an oily hand through his wet hair. ‘Ah, we…’ He looked at the floor.
Mallory held her hands up in apology. ‘Sorry, it’s none of my business, rude of me to ask.’
‘Na. It’s okay. We just weren’t compatible, let’s say.’
Mallory raised her eyebrows. ‘Oh. Right.’
Greg huffed, ‘Truth be told, she was ready for moving in permanently and getting engaged. I mean, for fuck’s sake, I’d only known her a few days.’ He laughed, his eyes sparkling. ‘Anyway, let me go clean myself up. I’ll be back in a minute.’ He ran up the stairs two by two.
Moments later he came back down in dry jeans with a T-shirt flung over his shoulder and a towel in his hand which he was rubbing through his hair. His chest glistened from the raindrops that had seeped through his other top.
‘So, good time?’ he asked, pulling the dry T-shirt over his fuzzy towel-dried hair.
‘Brilliant,’ she replied.
‘Make any new friends out there?’ He combed through his hair, scraping it back off his face.
‘Yes quite a few actually. I was even given a guy’s number.’ She smiled, and her cheeks heated as she remembered Carl who she had kissed.
Greg smirked and shook his head. ‘Why do you sound surprised?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. It was nice. I’d forgotten what it’s like to have someone give you their number.’
‘So, did you call him?’ Greg was frowning.
‘No, he wasn’t my type.’ She followed Greg to the kitchen where he put the kettle on.
‘Oh right. Do you have a type then?’ he asked inquisitively.
‘I didn’t think so. But anyway, he wasn’t it, that’s for sure. Too… oh I don’t know. I just didn’t fancy him.’
Greg chuckled and shook his head. ‘I’ve something to ask you, anyways.’ He handed her a cup of coffee. It was fresh and smelled delicious.
‘Oh yeah? What’s that then?’ She took a sip, but winced as she burned her lip.
‘Too eager! I made it with hot water and everything, you know,’ he teased.
She scrunched her face at him. ‘Ha ha.’
‘Anyway. It’s my birthday next weekend and I thought we could maybe have that beach barbie we’d talked about for your birthday.’ He looked hopeful. ‘I know that was just a ruse to get you to cheer up whilst I was planning your actual birthday, but I do quite fancy it.’
‘Oooh, thirty-eight then, eh? BBQ sounds good. Who shall we invite to come along?’ Mallory also liked the idea of a beach party.
‘Oh, leave that with me, I’ll sort it out,’ he insisted. ‘You just get ready for around seven and I’ll pick you up.’
‘What’s up with the Landy? Looked serious out there.’
‘Oh, it’s nothing. Just a wee oil leak. I think I sorted it. Not bad for a twenty-year-old car.’ He took a sip of his coffee. ‘So, what did you get up to whilst you were away?’ he asked.
‘We shopped, we looked around all the touristy things, went to the beach, watched home movies. It was so lovely and relaxed.’ She smiled, recalling the things she had done.
‘Well, you look… I don’t know… refreshed?’
‘Thanks, I feel it. We had a kind of memorial service at Sam’s mom’s place.’ She clasped her hands around her mug. ‘It was very touching. All his friends were there and they said some amazing things about him. We all wore bright colours and released lanterns. It was really beautiful.’
Greg nodded and looked thoughtful. ‘Sounds great. Did it help you? You know, to be around his friends and family?’
‘Definitely. I felt like I said a proper goodbye. Not like at the cremation where I was so numb I couldn’t even cry.’ She looked at her mug and felt awash with sadness and regret.
‘Must’ve been lovely.’ He looked wistful.
Mallory had an idea, but was hesitant about mentioning it. ‘Hey, how would you feel about doing something similar for Mairi?’ she asked bravely, hoping it didn’t upset him.
Greg’s eyes narrowed. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, we could get a few friends together and say a few words and maybe release balloons or lanterns for her?’
Greg shook his head. ‘I don’t know… her parents and I weren’t close. I only met them once and it didn’t go down too well. And her friends already did a climb in her memory. There would be no one to invite.’ He looked so forlorn and Mallory wanted to hug him, but didn’t dare.
‘Well, okay, you and I could do it,’ she said, determined to help him, considering Sam’s memorial had helped her so much.
‘You’d do that… for me?’ He seemed surprised.
Mallory smiled. ‘I would… of course.’
‘When could we do it? And where?’ He seemed to perk up at the idea.
‘Whenever and wherever you feel ready,’ she replied.
‘How about on my birthday?’ he asked, looking a little more positive now, a smile playing on his lips.
‘That’s fine by me.’ She could see his mood improving as the plans began to come together.
Greg’s smile turned into a handsome, beaming grin. ‘Great. I’ll write a few words and we’ll get some lanterns to release. Leave it with me. You can speak too if you like.’
Mallory pursed her lips. ‘Hang on though. Wouldn’t you prefer to have your family and your friends at your birthday? Maybe the memorial should wait until after you’ve celebrated?’
He placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘Mallory, you are my friends. The only friend who understands and the only friend I’m that bothered about spending my birthday with anyway. And as for my family… well we don’t really see each other much. My brothers are busy with their own lives and my parents are long gone. But it’s fine. And it would mean the world to me to do this on my birthday. The anniversary of her death is bound to be too difficult.’
That settled things. Mallory finished her coffee and took Ruby home. She started planning what they could do for the memorial/birthday. It felt so good to be helping Greg. It was what she had hoped for all along, since she realised they had this terrible grief in common.