Mallory spent the few days after Greg’s revelations decorating the house. The thoughts whizzing around her mind were so mixed up she found it hard to focus. She began to wonder why she had stayed in the first place. With Sam gone, and the mixed feelings around her relationship with Greg, it felt like she had outstayed her welcome. The house was thoroughly beautiful and it should have been a happy place.
She freshened up the paintwork and put a splash of colour in some rooms. It looked nice, homey and a lot different than when she and Sam had fallen in love with it.
This will make someone a wonderful home, her subconscious taunted her. A sadness washed over her that there was a possibility it wouldn’t be hers for much longer. After everything that had happened, she had instructed an estate agent to come and give her a valuation and discuss house selling packages. After briefly explaining her situation to the estate agent he had left her with a pile of documents to peruse. He said he understood and that the decision she made would be the right one.
Mallory called Josie to fill her in with what had happened with Greg.
‘Oh, Mally, babe. Are you sure coming back here is what you want though? Does it really matter that he has a piece of paper that connects him to another woman? If you think there’s a future with him you shouldn’t give up. What if you regret it?’
‘He lied by omission, Josie, but it’s still a lie. Whose side are you bloody on?’ Mallory snapped.
Josie sighed. ‘Yours obviously, that’s why I don’t want you to make any rash decisions. He clearly adores you not her.’
Josie just didn’t get it. He had kept something huge from her. It should have been the first thing he told her. He had opportunities before they were even drawn together. He didn’t take them. It was over.
She hadn’t seen much of Greg; only at shift changeover at the pub. She had swapped shifts in order to avoid awkward meetings with him. She couldn’t bare the hassle of seeing him. Their relationship had been tumultuous to say the least. But she had enough pain and anguish to last her a lifetime.
Greg had been taking Angus into the pub on his shifts. The furry canine always came over to say hello and she always greeted him with a big cuddle – funny how dogs didn’t show any loyalties when it came to break-ups.
After a great deal of soul-searching, Mallory had taken the decision to instruct the estate agent to market Sealladh-mara Cottage. She had been informed that the market was slow and there were more houses available for sale than there were interested buyers. Secretly she hoped that it would be on the market a long time. She wasn’t quite ready to let go, but felt like she had to take some form of action in a positive direction.
*
September 2015
August turned into September. The temperature had become noticeably cooler. Her relationship with Greg had become a series of ‘hello’s or nods out in the village. He had kept his distance and she had been glad of the fact.
She had awoken early one Saturday with no plans for the day apart from preparing for a couple who were coming to view the cottage. Everything was presented superbly. She had even followed the advice of the clichéd TV shows and made fresh coffee so that the tantalising aroma would permeate every room. Fresh seasonal flowers filled every available vase and all her personal photos had been replaced by those of Scottish scenery. She was selling the lifestyle after all.
When she realised she had no milk left she decided to wander over to see Colin and Christine. They had been heartbroken when the For Sale board had been knocked into the ground outside her house but she had promised she’d keep in touch.
She grabbed her fleece to ward off the autumn chill and walked up the lane in the direction of the shop. As she got to the main road she took a slight detour and ended up at the midpoint of the bridge.
‘Oh, Sam, how wrong it all went,’ she sighed. ‘If you had been here things would have been so different.’ She stood for a few minutes looking at the view they had both loved.
She heard voices coming from behind her and turned out of sheer curiosity. Her heart skipped a beat. Walking towards her was Greg. He was with a stunning blonde woman. How fickle he must be, she thought as jealousy and anger knotted her insides. The couple was chatting and the woman kept touching his arm. When he saw Mallory, he stopped in his tracks. The woman looked over in the direction of his gaze and her face dropped.
Slowly, he approached Mallory. ‘Hi, Mallory.’ He smiled. His voice was just above a whisper.
‘Greg.’ She forced a smile in response.
‘Mallory… erm… this is Alice, Alice this is Mallory.’
Oh, good grief it’s her! He’s introducing me to HER! her subconscious screamed.
After looking her up and down, Alice held out her hand, but didn’t crack a smile. ‘Hi Mallory, I’ve heard a lot about you.’
‘I’m sure you have,’ Mallory replied sardonically and shook her hand.
Greg jumped in as if afraid of where the conversation might lead. ‘We were just taking a walk, you know, clearing the cobwebs.’ His gaze shifted nervously between the two women. He was still terrible at small talk so at least some things never changed.
Mallory began to step away. ‘Lovely. Well, enjoy yourselves. I need to get going,’ she said tersely and walked past them in the direction of the shop. She realised the fact that he was being so cordial with Alice probably meant they had ironed out their issues and were giving their marriage another go. So much for all his protestations of love for me. Unwelcome tears welled in her eyes but she bit the inside of her lip to fend them off and didn’t look back.
Once she had picked up some milk from the shop she wandered back along the road towards her house. Much to her chagrin, Greg was sitting at one of the tables outside the pub. She couldn’t avoid passing him and although she wanted to run her legs chose that moment to forget how to work.
Come on Mallory, you can do this, just smile and walk by, don’t let him upset you, not again.
‘Mallory!’ Greg called to her. She looked over to where he sat. ‘Can you talk?’
Now her subconscious screamed a hundred sarcastic retorts, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them out loud.
‘What are you doing here? I thought you were out walking,’ she said dryly.
‘Aye, I was but I wanted to talk to you… alone… so I asked Alice to head on without me. I’ll meet her back at the house.’ He looked at his shoes.
So, she’s staying with him too. How cosy.
She sighed. ‘What did you want to talk about?’ she asked coldly.
‘Will you sit for a while?’ He gestured to the other side of the table.
Reluctantly, she sat down, placing the milk and her purse side by side.
‘I haven’t seen you for a while, how are you?’
‘I’m fine thanks. Is that it because I have people coming.’
‘To view the house?’ He picked at a splinter of wood protruding from the table.
‘Yes. Not that it’s anything to do with you.’
‘Why do you have to be so hostile, Mallory? Nothing has changed for me. I wish you’d realise that.’
‘It’s of no consequence to me how you feel. How is your wife liking it here?’ The acerbity of her tone did not taste good, even though she couldn’t help but say what she was thinking.
Greg bit his top lip and shook his head. He was angry and she didn’t blame him really. ‘Okay, we’re being like that, are we? She’s just here to finalise things. That’s all. And I really thought you and I had something a little more mature, Mallory. I thought there were feelings on both sides of this. Clearly I was wrong.’ He looked directly at her, making her fidget uncomfortably.
His words stung and she winced. ‘Greg, you’re married. You kept that fact from me just as I was about to give myself to you. Whilst I was still grieving for the real love of my life. Excuse me if I’m a little indignant.’
‘Can we at least be civil? Or maybe even friends? We got along so well, Mallory. Don’t you miss that? I know I do.’
‘It’s irrelevant. I can’t trust you. How can we possibly be friends?’ She pushed her glasses up her nose.
‘Okay, well, it was worth a try.’ He sniffed and looked down at the table. ‘Will you do me one thing? Will you tell me if you do sell the house? I would at least like a chance to say goodbye.’
‘Greg, we said goodbye that day in August,’ she said regretfully and left him sitting there.
She walked away from him for the second time that day and again a little piece of her heart broke. She walked fast in case he had decided to follow. He hadn’t.
When she got back to the cottage, she closed her front door behind her and burst into tears – a regular occurrence of late.
*
The young couple who viewed the cottage that afternoon had apparently fallen in love with it and made an offer—albeit a low one—an hour after they left. Mallory noted the anxiety that knotted her insides when the estate agent called with the details but was determined to dismiss the unease. After pushing the niggling worry down she gave an indication to the agent that the offer would need to be increased significantly if she were to consider it and he said he would discuss the matter with the couple and come back to her with any further news.
Her shift started at seven that night. When she arrived outside she was greeted with a sight she would rather not have encountered. The chalkboard she had made for Greg was propped up outside the door and it was evident that her former friend was playing. Great. She was tempted to turn and retreat back to the cosy womb of her newly decorated house. But instead she walked through the door, putting a fraudulent smile on her face. She would be busy so it would all be fine. Wouldn’t it?
She got herself set behind the bar and noticed Greg was sitting in his usual pre-gig spot with her. They were chatting and laughing together. Every so often she would touch his arm or toss her hair. From what Greg had told her of Alice it seemed that old habits, did indeed, die hard. Once again Mallory was reminded of the fickleness of the man who had claimed to love her. If that was the case why had he brought Alice and paraded her around like his love for Mallory had never existed.
Dammit! Alice looked over and realised that Mallory was glaring in their direction. She muttered something to Greg who turned towards the bar. Mallory quickly dropped her gaze and wiped the glass she was holding so hard that it slipped from her grasp and shards of glass flew everywhere as the vessel shattered.
Greg rushed over. ‘Hey are you okay?’ he enquired, concerned.
‘It’s just broken glass. I’m fine.’
‘Let me help you.’ He grabbed the dustpan and brush from its place on top of the dishwasher, but she snatched it from his hands.
‘Greg, just go. You’re supposed to be singing, aren’t you? So, go do it,’ she snapped viciously.
‘Look I’ve said sorry about everything. What else am I meant to do?’ he pleaded.
‘Nothing. There is nothing you can do. Just go!’
Ten minutes later Greg sat in his usual place ready to perform. The bar had filled up and there was a hum of chatter and anticipation. Greg had become somewhat of a local star and his gigs were very well attended. Mallory did her best to stay focused and busy, serving the many thirsty customers.
‘Evening all.’ Greg’s voice boomed out of the PA system. ‘I’m not going to talk much tonight. I’m sure yous don’t want to hear me rambling on about stuff all night, eh?’ He cleared his throat. ‘I know you all are gradually discovering how eclectic my taste in music is. Well just to prove the point even further I’m going to kick off with a little bit of Chicago. The band not the musical.’ He chuckled and the audience chuckled with him. ‘This is a beautiful song called “Hard to Say I’m Sorry”.’ The audience clapped and cheered before falling silent and listening intently as raw emotion poured from Greg’s lips.
Mallory tried her damnedest to swallow the lump that had become lodged in her throat as she listened to the words she knew were indubitably for her benefit. She avoided making eye contact with him at all costs and she had to remind herself why this chasm had opened between them lest she run over and fling her arms around him.
She stuck it as long as she could but when her emotions got the better of her Mallory had to leave the room. She went to the ladies restroom and splashed water on her face. When she stood up and looked in the mirror at her red, puffy eyes, a presence startled her.
‘Hello Mallory,’ the beautiful blonde woman addressed her reflection.
‘Alice.’ She dabbed her face with some paper towels and threw them in the waste bin.
Alice folded her arms across her chest and leaned on the sink. ‘You’ve broken his heart you know.’
Mallory scrunched her brow, affronted at the accusation and annoyed at being cornered in the bathroom. ‘I think you got there before me, don’t you?’
‘What you’re doing is much worse,’ Alice snorted.
‘How the hell do you figure that one out?’ Mallory couldn’t quite believe her ears.
‘You could just walk away. You could crawl back to your little hole in Yorkshire and let him move on. But instead you’re here taunting him with the presence of what he thinks he wants but can’t have. It’s cruel.’ Her eyes flashed angrily.
Bile rose in Mallory’s throat. ‘How dare you? You told him you were pregnant! There was no baby! That is the epitome of cruelty. Then you slept with his best friend! And my “hole”, as you referred to it, is more desirable than spending another second in your fucking company.’ Mallory was shaking with rage as she stepped forwards to leave. She didn’t swear lightly and the words falling from her mouth sounded completely alien.
Alice stepped to block her way. ‘You should know, before you walk away, that he and I are going to give things another go. He still loves me. It won’t take him long to get over you.’ And with that she turned and walked out.
Mallory leaned against the sink feeling as if she had been winded.
She gathered herself and went back out to the bar. She glanced over to Greg who was having a drink before his next song. Mallory wondered if Alice was right. Was her presence hurting him more? She didn’t intend to make things worse. But he had been the one to convince her to stay. God this was so damned confusing. Did he still love Alice? After everything she had put him through? And if so, how could she stand in the way of that? If he was willing to give his wife another chance then maybe Mallory being here was making things worse? She knew he had feelings for her. No one is that good a liar, surely? But Mallory wasn’t his wife. Alice was and that had to count for something.
Greg lifted his head and locked chocolate brown eyes filled with sadness on her but Alice arrived at his side, briefly drawing his attention away as she kissed the top of his head.
Stella, who had appeared from the back, saw the display of affection and looked over at Mallory with a sad smile.
‘Anyway, onto my next number… ahem… Now unrequited love is a bitch eh? I know, I’ve been there; anyone else?’ The audience murmured in agreement. ‘Aye well, some of you should relate well to this next one. It’s by one of my favourite bands, Fleetwood Mac, and it’s called “Go Your Own Way”. Oh, and don’t sing along, eh?’ He forced a laugh and winked at the audience who laughed along with him. But Mallory knew the smile hadn’t reached his eyes.
He began to sing yet another song aimed at Mallory. She felt her cheeks burn and saw Alice glaring at her as if to say I told you so.
Greg’s eye burned into Mallory whilst he sang. She wanted to leave but for some reason she was equally compelled to stay. She didn’t want to run and give Alice the satisfaction of knowing she had burrowed under her skin.
Greg was doing his usual thing of communicating with other people’s words and tonight he was once again on a mission.
‘Sorry folks, it’s all a bit melancholy tonight. I’m feeling that way out. Must be my hormones.’ He laughed. ‘Anyway, this next one is a sad, sad song by a wonderful song writer called John Waite. It’s about a guy who’s in love with a girl. She left him and moved away. He really doesn’t know why she’s gone and he misses her desperately but he’s trying to convince himself that he isn’t… he’s failing miserably. She’s all he can think about. She’s all he sees. He wants her to realise and come back to him… it’s called “Missing You”.’
He began to play and Mallory stopped what she was doing this time. If he has something to say then you should damn well listen!
She listened for a few moments, knowing the song of old. The lump in her throat returned and she was finding it difficult to see through the glassy film over her eyes. Was this one actually aimed at Alice? Was this his way of telling her he wished they had never parted? Unable to take any more she feigned a headache and Stella told her to go on home. She was certain that Stella knew exactly what the real reason for her swift departure was. Mallory slipped out of the back door and made her way back to the cottage.
As soon as she walked through the door she grabbed the phone, needing to hear Josie’s voice.
‘Hi, babe! How you doing?’ Josie answered within two rings.
Mallory sobbed down the line at her best friend. ‘I need to come and stay. Please, can me and Rubes come tomorrow?’
‘Of course you can, hun. What on earth has happened?’ Josie’s voice was filled with concern.
‘I just need to get away from here, from Greg; from memories.’
‘Come whenever you like, hun. I’ll make the spare room up.’
Before bed Mallory packed a small case with essentials and set it by the door ready for an early start in the morning. Ruby jumped on to the bed and snuggled up to her. Mallory sobbed once again into the fur of the little black dog.
After breakfast the next day Mallory scooped up Ruby and her case and put them in the car. It was nine o’clock and she was determined to set off soon. She pulled up outside Colin’s shop and went in to let him know she was going away for a few days. She had already called Stella who had been very understanding, as always.
She turned the car around and began to pull away when Greg appeared out of nowhere in front of the car; hands held up to stop her. She slammed on the breaks and he came around to the driver’s side. Reluctantly she rolled down the window.
His expression was pained and he was out of breath. ‘Mallory… are you leaving?’
‘What does it matter to you?’ Her frustration was evident in her terse tone.
‘The case in the back. Ruby… are you going for good?’
‘Why don’t you ask your wife, Greg,’ she bristled and hit the accelerator.