Vann set the box down in the small backroom of the diner, then trotted back to the delivery truck.

“Last one,” the delivery guy said as he handed the supply box to him. “Next delivery is in two days.” Vann nodded as the worker hopped out of the back of the truck, secured the door, and walked around to the driver’s seat and drove away.

He rested the box against the wall and shut the back door, flipping the lock before balancing the box again in his arms. He set the last box on the floor and stepped back, surveying the half dozen boxes of inventory that had been delivered. How the hell did a small diner need so much stuff to merit a bi-weekly delivery? He shrugged off the thought, thankful to keep busy.

“Hey,” Cam said, walking in to the backroom. “The lunch rush is about to start so it’s going to get a little hectic.”

“How bad does it get?”

Cam grabbed two bags of coffee and paused for a moment. “It gets crazy busy. So it might be best to avoid the rush until you feel more comfortable around larger groups. It’s busier than it used to be when I first started, and it took me a while to adjust. We get a flood of customers from the courthouse across the street. They’re usually on a short schedule for lunch so they can get a little edgy.”

Vann nodded. Cam had dropped a few helpful hints since the morning, easing Vann into the daily tasks. Cam had served ten years in prison and had struggled to stay in control while in WITSEC for almost two years. Needless to say, Vann would heed any valuable suggestions from the guy if it would help him adjust. Spending less than two minutes in the diner’s morning chaos when he had arrived was enough to drive him to hibernate in the backroom and reorganize the shelves to prepare for the delivery.

Twice.

“I’ll make sure the eating area is cleaned up during the rush today,” Cam said.

Vann shook his head. “That’s my job. Besides, you’re handling the coffee stuff and register. I’m here to work, and I’m not going to get paid to just sort boxes. I mean, really, how many times can I sort this stuff?”

Cam quieted, watching him in that way he had done all morning, observing him. “Okay. But if you need a break, give me a sign and head into the backroom.”

“Okay,” he said, hearing the front door open and close.

Cam quickly returned to the front, stopping to pop his head back into the room. “Oh, and as far as how many times you can sort the boxes…um…let’s just say, Bill can be a little…uh…particular. He’ll come back here and move all your stuff. And if you rearrange it, he’ll do it again but in a different way. I think it’s a nervous tic so don’t let it get to you.”

Vann nodded. He stacked the boxes out of the way to clean up the area and figured he’d sort things later. He grabbed the towel and cleaner and headed out to the eating area. He walked along the perimeter of the room, trying to avoid bumping into someone. The growing lunchtime line wrapped along the front of the counter with people yelling out their sandwich order to Bill while others pointed to the baked goods in the small glass display on the countertop as Lucy bagged their selections. Cam chatted with the customers while working the register or mixing a coffee drink, all with a huge grin plastered across his face.

Vann wiped down the small counter by the condiments and discarded some of the open packets and napkins littering the space. He focused on his task but glanced over his shoulder at an emptying table and worked to quickly wipe it down before the next customer grabbed the vacant seat.

A constant buzz of chatter vibrated in the room. He swallowed heavily, tightening his grip on the towel as he wiped along another empty table, barely able to finish as a new customer pulled out the chair.

“Sorry,” she said, bumping into his arm with a smile.

He forced a smile in return, feeling a mix of emotions escalating his pulse. Sensory overload. Shit. He stole a glance over at Cam and immediately stopped when he met his pale blue stare. Cam motioned with a chin-up gesture toward the backroom.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly walked to the backroom and breathed a sigh of relief but cursed at himself for not being able to do what he needed to do. He took a few deep, calming breaths and leaned his head back against the wall, steeling himself. He thought of Drayton, his smile, the sound of his laughter.

The chatter from the outside crowd quieted in his mind to a dull hum and his heartbeat settled. He could do this. He needed to do this. And dammit, he was going to do this.

He walked back out into the eating area and cleaned the small condiments counter already messy again with used napkins and sprinkles of salt. He quickly worked his way around the room, wiping tables and picking up trays. After twenty minutes of sheer chaos and returning a few friendly smiles, the rush had finally died down to a trickle.

“You did great,” Cam said, walking over to him as he mopped a spill in the corner.

“I screwed up at the beginning of the rush.” He lowered his head, focusing on the tile floor.

“But you bounced back with a vengeance. It took me almost a week to settle in with all the people and we weren’t nearly half as busy back then.”

Vann nodded. He had bounced back, but he wasn’t sure it was with a vengeance. He was just damn happy to not fail at his job on the first day.

“Go ahead and take your lunch break. Bill will make you a sandwich and you can eat out here or go out back if you want.”

“Can I sit in the back? Outside?” Vann asked.

“Yeah. It’s still part of the diner so it’s not a problem. Just keep your phone on you.”

“Hey, Shaw? C’mon over here. You’ve earned a big sandwich today, kid,” Bill yelled from behind the deli counter.

A smile slowly spread across his face.

Maybe he could handle this.

 

 

 

Vann fidgeted with the bedsheets, carefully flattening them, tucking the corners under the mattress so it looked perfect. After so many hours and a full day’s worth of events, he figured there was a good chance he wasn’t stuck in a dream loop. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept for more than a couple of hours at a time and wouldn’t deny being a little anxious at the thought of another peaceful night’s sleep.

He turned at the soft knock on his door. He waved when he saw a tousled-haired Ben standing in his doorway wearing nothing but low-slung pajama pants to showcase his lean form and tight abs. He looked as if he had rolled out of bed, not as though he was getting ready to fall into one. If Vann weren’t so hopelessly in love with Drayton, maybe the tan skin and dark hair and light eyes would stir something in him.

But it didn’t. Seemed his dick had a single-mission GPS lock on Drayton.

“What’s up?” Vann signed.

“Curfew sucks. I’m bored.”

Vann craned his neck around Ben, listening to the yelling between their other two housemates. He shook his head as he fluffed the pillow. In prison, people either minded their own business or attacked. They never wasted their time yelling at someone and drawing attention to themselves unless it was meant to be a diversion. He probably would have wanted to pummel the hell out of Frankie if they had shared a cell.

Ben sighed. “Are they yelling?”

Vann nodded. “There’s a lot of love in the air.”

Ben smiled, his upper body shuddering with a quiet chuckle. He looked up at Vann, his smile transitioning to something shy. “I saw you that first night when you got here.”

“Were you standing by the window?”

A rush of color pooled at Ben’s cheeks. He nodded.

“Do I need to charge you tickets for the peep show?”

“Sorry. I tend to stare.”

Vann shrugged. “I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me.” He walked over to Ben and stood toe-to-toe with the smaller man who barely reached Vann’s pecs. “Does it bother you if I call you on it? Whenever you’re staring?”

“Not at all.” Ben quickly shook his head as he signed. “Julian told me I do it a lot and to be careful because it can make some people uncomfortable. So I want to know when I’m doing it. You want to play a video game or something? We’re stuck here but that doesn’t mean we’re stuck upstairs.”

Vann shrugged again. He liked the kid who seemed barely old enough to drink. He needed to make an effort now that he was out, and if that meant fumbling through a video game he’d never played, then so be it. He shut the door behind him and turned toward the stairwell, momentarily freezing at the sight through the large, floor-to-ceiling arched living room window.

His heart jackhammered in his chest.

He jerked forward, racing past Ben and down the stairs, ignoring Julian’s yell as he tore through the back door of the halfway house and out to the backyard.

“Shaw!”

He stopped in the middle of the yard and threw his head back to get a better view of the crescent moon staring down at him from the cloudless night sky. His breath came in gasps as he slowly circled in a full three-sixty, taking it all in. He opened his arms, welcoming the tsunami exploding inside. His inner lockbox of emotions burst open, releasing a flood of joy, love, and memories he’d kept safely tucked away for reference during his darkest times.

He laughed loudly, smiling in disbelief at how beautiful the moon looked in the sky tonight. He wondered if Drayton looked at tonight’s sky, thinking about him. Or if he remembered those nights they’d sneak out to the lake to discover every inch of each other’s bodies.

He held his face up to the heavens and closed his eyes. He inhaled a deep breath, wanting the night’s dew to cover his skin and the smell of the night air to filter through his lungs. He let the emotions flow through his body, filling each crack in his soul and break in his spirit. He opened his eyes and stared at the moon in awe. After having been denied its beauty for a decade, he realized it was just as breathtaking and powerful as the last time he had seen it.

Like his love for Drayton.

“Shaw.”

He spun around and spotted Julian in the doorway with his arms crossed.

“We have a curfew.”

The lightness he had felt moments ago began to fade.

Matt pushed by his partner and walked over to Vann standing in the yard. “Is this the first time you’re seeing the moon in a while?”

Vann nodded, unable to voice a single word through the knot lodged in his throat. Had he screwed things up already? 

“Then maybe we need to have a camp-out tonight.”

“A what?”

“Have you ever been camping?” Matt asked.

Well, he had slept under a tree for a few weeks when his father had kicked him out, and sometimes he would sleep with Dray out by the lake when they’d been too tired to sneak back into Drayton’s bedroom after having sex like two desperate, horny beasts in heat. “Sorta.”

“Great. Then we’re sleeping out here tonight.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Unless you prefer to go to your room?”

Vann shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not in trouble?”

“No.”

“What about curfew?”

“Technically, you’re still at the house. You’re within the property lines.” Matt turned to look at his partner still standing in the doorway.

Julian muffled a curse. “I’ll get the stuff ready,” he said, before disappearing into the house.

An hour later, Julian had moved out the benches on the back porch and had set up two inflatable mattresses, one close to the house and the other along the edge, just under the porch roof—enough to grant a better view of the night sky while still providing cover from the evening elements.

“Why are you doing this?” Vann asked, almost in a whisper. He took the edge of the bedsheet from Matt and flattened it against the air mattress.

Matt stopped fluffing the pillows. “Running a halfway house is tough. A lot tougher than I expected it would be.”

“I imagine it’s got to be expensive.”

Matt shook his head, finding a spot on the corner of his mattress to sit. “It’s not the money. The difficult part is finding a way to actually help the guys. Most times, they come through here and they’re angry or shut down.” He looked up at Vann. “Like when you first arrived. You didn’t speak until Drayton called.”

“It’s a lot to take in. But…I’m trying.”

“You are.” Matt smiled, almost proudly. The way television show fathers smiled in those family shows. “One thing I’ve learned here, breakthroughs come in quick flashes. Moments when something shifts and the outcome could either shut the person down or slowly help them let their guard down and welcome the second chance. I’ve learned to not ignore those tiny opportunities.”

Vann lowered his head, wishing he could tear down the walls he had erected over the years. Having been on guard for a decade built up entirely too many barriers between him and reality. He’d needed that safety while inside, but out in the real world, the walls created barriers that shielded him from everything. Including the positive the world had to offer. He wanted to let that in, experience it, revel in it, but for some reason, things rarely went his way. 

Drayton always told him they were tests life presented to him to build character, strength, and resolve. At this rate, Vann was a multi-degree-holding genius with character the size of a dozen galaxies and enough resolve to cure the world of its ills.

But he refused to give up, even though life kicked him in the ass over and over again. He just wished the kicks didn’t always land with a precision strike, then maybe he’d get enough of a breather to recover and feel he was making some headway in moving forward.

“I’m sleeping out here. You’re inside,” Julian said, pulling Vann from his thoughts.

Matt stood and crossed his arms. “No. You’re inside and I’m out here with Shaw.”

“But—”

“I’m out here alone with one guy or inside, alone, with three.”

Julian’s jaw muscle twitched. 

Vann bit his lip to hide a smile. Matt obviously had the large, somewhat intimidating man wrapped around his finger. He sure as hell couldn’t blame the guy. If he loved Matt half as much as Vann loved Drayton, it was no wonder he was at Matt’s mercy. He straightened when Julian turned toward him, a fire burning in his pale green eyes that set off every warning bell in Vann’s body.

“Nothing happens to him. Understand?”

Vann nodded and firmly held his stare until Matt placed his palm at the side of Julian’s face.

“I’ll be fine, J.” They exchanged whispered words then parted with a kiss goodnight.

Matt and Vann each settled into their respective inflatable beds, readying themselves for sleep.

Vann lay on his back with his head turned, staring up at the moon until sleep finally forced his eyes shut.

 

 

 

Vann reached out, fumbling to quiet the noise.

“It’s your phone. Shut it the hell up. It’s late,” Matt grumbled.

Matt? Shit. Backyard camp-out. He grabbed his phone and answered the call, catching the time before hitting the green button.

“Hey,” Drayton said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call earlier. I was in that damn meeting, and I wanted to try to wrap things up.”

“It’s okay,” Vann mumbled, pressing the phone against the pillow.

“Damn, I woke you. Sorry.”

Vann rubbed his eyes. “It’s fine. You didn’t really wake me. There’s still a few minutes before the phone cutoff time. How did your meeting go?”

“You woke us up,” Matt yelled over from his air mattress as he shoved his head into his pillow.

“Um…who’s that?”

Vann stifled a chuckle. Matt was obviously not someone who liked to be woken, and it sounded as if Drayton still had that possessive streak in him. “Long story. I’m camping out in the backyard with Matt.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Surprisingly, he really did feel okay for the first time since his release. “I…saw the moon tonight. It…kinda took me by surprise.”

“I’m looking at it now. I had to call you.”

Vann smiled, enjoying the sound of Drayton’s voice and the hope his words sparked.

“I always think of you when I see the moon.”

Vann glanced up at the sky, cursing the night clouds trying to cover the moon. “So how was your meeting?”

Drayton’s sigh echoed through the phone. “I’m still here. We’re having a follow-up meeting tomorrow. So it’s going longer than expected. I’m hoping to be back home to see you tomorrow night.”

Vann picked at the edge of the bedsheet. He wanted Drayton’s meetings to go well but wouldn’t deny he preferred to have him at his side where he could see him and maybe even touch him again.

“It’s almost one over there, and I don’t want to get you in trouble. But I needed to hear your voice tonight.”

Vann frowned and chewed his lip. Something sounded off in Drayton’s tone. He glanced over to Matt then back down at the bedsheet. “Are you okay?”

Drayton quieted, but Vann could still hear each deep breath through the line. “I miss you. Pisses me off that you’re finally out and I’m stuck in fucking meetings. I’ll be fine tomorrow once I see you.”

He bit his lip to hide the smile. “I’m glad you called.”

“Night, Vann.”

“Good night.” He pressed the red button and set the phone aside. He tucked his hand under the pillow and stared out into the night, smiling when the clouds cleared and the moon peeked through to stare back at him again.