I PACED BACK AND FORTH in my bedroom as I chewed on my thumbnail. “I can’t believe I did that.”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I reached back for a pillow and buried my face and screamed into it. I knew he was getting angry and I should have just let him deal with his emotions, but I used it as an excuse to get closer to him. To feel his lips on mine.
Fucking hell. I practically begged him to kiss me while I rocked my body against his. Then I acted as if it never happened.
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
I reached for my Kindle and pulled up a book I was reading. It was far from the romance books I usually read. This book was recommended by Elizabeth. The Christian-based book was supposed to help me find my true inner self. The only thing I wanted to find was how not to be attracted to Malcolm.
Two and a half hours had passed since we got back from Waco. I couldn’t take the silent treatment anymore. What we needed was to define the boundaries. Clearly, me jumping on top of the man paying me to help in his recovery was crossing a line.
I stood and dropped my Kindle onto the bed. “This is bullshit.”
Racing into the bathroom, I checked myself in the mirror and pulled my long dark hair up into a ponytail and set out to talk to Malcolm.
We were two grown adults who clearly were attracted to one another. We needed to figure out a way to keep that under control while I was here . . . working . . . for him.
As I made my way through the house, I knew he wouldn’t be upstairs. I checked the back porch, the front, the kitchen, game room and both living rooms. Malcolm was nowhere to be found.
I stared down the hallway that led to the master suite. I knew which door was his bedroom because it was damn near straight across from the personal gym we were in this morning, which was ten times better than the gym I belonged to at home.
Pulling in a deep cleansing breath, I headed down the hall. Checking the gym, it was empty. Turning, I passed a long table that had a beautiful sculpture on it, which I had admired this morning. They were in a small niche that was on the wall opposite Malcolm’s bedroom. Lifting my hand, I went to knock when I heard voices.
I held my breath as I leaned in closer. It was a female voice.
Did she just moan?
I slammed my hand over my mouth to keep from throwing up.
Oh. My. God.
He was fucking someone? It felt as if someone had kicked me right in the stomach as I quickly took a few steps back, bumping right into the table. Before I could stop it, the sculpture rocked and tipped right over, smashing against the travertine floor.
Fuck!
I dropped to my knees and started quickly picking up the pieces. Tears pooled in my eyes as I prayed for the strength to keep them at bay. Please, God. Please don’t let him come out here. Please don’t let me see who he is with. How stupid could I be to think this would work? How stupid was I to think I could work him up into a frenzy and then just walk away and he would be totally fine? He was a man. They only thought with their dicks.
The door opened and I trained my eyes onto the broken pieces of clay.
“Paislie, are you okay?”
I tried desperately to keep the sob from escaping, but failed. He reached down and placed his hand on my shoulder, causing me to pull away.
“Don’t touch me!” I cried out a little too loudly. Not wanting to look at him, I reached for another piece and felt my finger slice open.
“Jesus Christ, Paislie, just leave it be and I’ll get someone to clean it up.”
Standing, I tried not to look at him. When I saw the towel wrapped around his waist, my mouth fell open. “I . . . I didn’t . . .”
The overwhelming feeling of hurt fell over my body like a blanket. “Your finger is bleeding,” Malcolm said as he reached for my hand. I shook my head and pulled it back.
“This was a mistake. I’m leaving.”
His eyes widened in fear. “W-what do you mean you’re leaving?”
A single tear fell from my eye as I brushed it away with my fingertips. “I can’t do this. I’m so sorry.”
A woman came walking around the corner and smacked right into me. She was holding a tray full of something that fell to the floor. She was dressed in all white.
“Oh crap! I’m so sorry,” I mumbled as the woman cursed softly.
“Jessica is going to be pissed now. She likes to have the rocks heated up to the right temperature.”
I reached for a rock and yelped as I fell back onto my ass. “What in the hell! Why is that rock hot?” I exclaimed.
“For Mr. Wallace’s massage. Great. You go back there and tell her what you did, because she will be very upset.”
“She already interrupted the zen we had, so don’t worry about it, Natalie. Mr. Wallace has asked us to leave.”
I sat there on the floor looking up at an older woman also dressed in white. She placed her fingers to her temple and let out a long, drawn out moan. Kind of like the one I heard in Malcolm’s . . . bedroom.
Oh holy shit.
Fuck. My. Life.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Her eyes shot down to mine and said, “Trying to find the inner peace. The quiet that makes everything okay. Mr. Wallace was in need of finding it and now you’ve just brought all this negative energy.”
“Oh,” was all I said. By the time I had my wits about me, Natalie had picked everything up that had fallen off the tray and both women were retreating away as they whispered, but loud enough for me to here.
“She ruined the whole environment. Next time I will insist he comes to the spa.”
Staring at them as they walked around the corner, I continued to sit on the floor like an ass.
“Why are you on the floor?”
His voice no longer sounded angry. He seemed relaxed. Yeah . . . I wonder why.
I slowly stood and turned to him. I froze in place as I got a good look at him.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Father in heaven, help me for I am about to sin.
My tongue instinctively ran along my lips as I took in the glorious site in front of me. Malcolm had an amazing body. His chest was broad and his abs looked like something out of magazine. The towel wrapped loosely around his hips, not leaving anything to the imagination.
My lower stomach clenched as my nipples hardened.
“I’m sorry I interrupted your little ménage à trois.”
The smile that spread across his face pissed me off. “What were you doing at my bedroom door?”
The heaviness in my chest made it hard to breathe. No . . . the fact that he stood before me almost naked made it hard for me to breathe.
“I wanted to apologize for my . . . my um . . . um . . .” I couldn’t even think straight with him looking at me the way he was.
“You’re what?”
Finally shaking the thoughts running through my mind of Malcolm taking me up against the wall, I shook my head. “My actions earlier on the bench. It was insensitive of me to lead you on the way I did and my reaction was not at all professional.”
He lifted a brow and stared at me. “You said you were leaving.”
Trying not to focus on the V that dipped down into the towel, I mumbled, “What was that?”
“You said you were leaving.”
The way his blue eyes were looking at me had me so confused . . . like I wasn’t already confused enough, I needed his intense stare to add to it.
“You want me to leave?” I asked.
His face softened. “No. I don’t want you to. But you said you were.”
My lips were dry, but I was afraid to lick them.
My hands came up over my face as I let out a frustrated sigh. “I can’t think straight with you standing in a damn towel!”
Spinning on my heels, I took off as fast as I could for my room. I needed space between Malcolm and myself.
A lot of space.