Chapter Seventeen
We stared into each other’s eyes for more minutes than was probably good for me. I still wasn’t sure why I hadn’t either kicked his ass, fucked him hard, or hot-footed it out of there yet. Hell, the way Leland made me feel, I should have done all three.
“I’m glad we’re together again, Graham,” he said into the crackling tension between us. “I know that probably sounds manipulative to you right now, but it’s the truth. I didn’t run a game and I’m not trying to. The only reason I could leave you that way in Newport Beach was because I knew I would be seeing you again. I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t known that.”
Fucker.
The two poles of me reared simultaneously. Hatred shot through my veins even as my cock went rock hard in the tight clutch of my jeans.
I’m not sure what I would have said in reply. I never got a chance to answer him. The front door slammed, breaking the spell of his eyes, followed by the sound of small feet running and a chorus of, “Daddy! Daddy! Are you home? Where are you?”
Leland turned away from me and, as if by magic, his face transformed into something arresting and beatific. “I’m in the kitchen, Ella. Where do you think your daddy is? Hurry, come give me a hug. There’s someone here I’d like you to meet.”
A second later the child ran into the room and flung herself into Leland’s open arms for a sloppy kiss and wiggly hug.
I would have recognized the girl as his seed even if I’d not known who she was before I saw her. Ella was a tiny perfect replica of Leland. Golden blond hair, large amber eyes, and engaging smile. No wonder he wanted a biological child since I was certain the only way he could get a child so beautiful to complement himself was to spin off a version of him. By the looks of her I wouldn’t have been half surprised if there hadn’t even been a friendly womb donor. I chided myself for that stupidity of thought, but it was unnerving to see the girl. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew it was more than that she was the mirror image of Leland.
She pulled back from his arms to smile at him. “I missed you, Daddy. You home for good now?”
His brows lifted as he made a silly face. “For a while. But after I finish up all the yucky things I have to do here, we both go to our new house, together.”
A sharp frown followed a glare. “Don’t want to move.” Everything about her became agitated at once, like an electric pulse had been shot through her. From happy child to tiny time bomb in the blink of an eye. Her gaze locked on me. “Go away. You don’t belong here.”
Her reaction to finding me standing in her kitchen—startling and incomprehensible—made me flush.
“Oh, Ella Bella, that’s no way to speak to a new friend,” Lee chided her affectionately as he pouted. “This is the man I told you about. This is Mr. Carson.”
He spun her around to face me and her golden browns lowered on her face. Keeping my expression an expert calm, I said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ella. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
She crossed her arms and whirled toward her father. “I don’t want a manny.”
Oh fuck, he didn’t—my razor sharp gaze crashed into Leland’s embarrassed amber pools.
“Mr. Carson is here and he’s not leaving so you might as well be polite to him, Ella.”
“No, Daddy. Want him gone.”
She broke from her father and Leland straightened up. I could tell he was carefully avoiding my infuriated stare.
Manny.
No fucking way, no can do.
As if this dog didn’t have enough fleas, that one sealed the deal. Between the child and the charade Lee was for some reason wanting to maintain with her, there wasn’t a single palatable reason not to bail. Decision made—once the child was out of the room, I’d tell Leland to fuck himself and get out of here.
“I think we need to wrap this up,” I announced pointedly. “Privately would be preferable to me.”
My words landed on him with the intended effect. He was still smiling but his body radiated tension.
“Go to your room, please, Ella,” Leland said.
She tossed down her bag and stood with her hands on her hips, obstinate. “No! I don’t want a new manny. I want Rosa back. I want my nanny. No manny, Daddy.”
“Please, Ella—”
The way she stared at me made my heart churn. Sad and hostile, resembling another girl—Kaley—enough that being called the manny didn’t ruffle so much as a single hair on me this go-around. I wondered, though I didn’t want to, what had been going on in Leland’s life to make her like this. The psychologist’s report I’d read earlier warned me she manifested the ongoing behavior patterns of a traumatized child—though without bothering to provide details on what had traumatized her—but, even forewarned that she was a handful, I wasn’t prepared to see it on her face.
It tugged at me and stirred my protective instincts in a way I hadn’t felt since Olivia. Even more than Kaley had claimed me and, fuck, I liked her father. But there was no denying, something about Ella took root in me in a way it shouldn’t have been able to, since I despised her father and had no intention of staying.
A lot was happening in Leland’s world beyond what I’d already learned, and I didn’t doubt it was a complicated mess that no sane man would willingly step into. But the questions turned in my head, nonetheless, begging for answers.
What was the deal with Rosa? Why had Leland gotten rid of her? It was clear Ella loved her. Something very wrong had happened to ship off the nanny when the little girl was so deeply distressed and attached to her—
His voice cut short my reverie. “We already discussed this, Ella. Mr. Carson is here to help me take care of you. Rosa can’t go to Mexico with us. She can’t leave her own family. We decided on a manny instead of a nanny this time. You said you wanted that.”
Her eyes were enormous as she stared up at him. “No, I don’t want him. Make him go away. I want Rosa back. First Poppy Richard goes away, then Jamie, and then Rosa. I don’t want him.”
Richard? Who the fuck was Richard?
“Ella, please. You’re being impolite. You’re hurting Mr. Carson’s feelings.”
“I don’t care!”
Leland was getting flustered. I was angry, I didn’t want in the middle of this, and I wanted her out of here. I was overstepping my bounds again, but if I let him continue to deal with her this circle jerk would go nowhere and I wouldn’t get out the front door anytime soon. Leland still thought I was staying, or at least his words to his daughter conveyed he did.
Without shifting my gaze from him, I said, “Ella. Pick up your bag. Set it on the counter. Go to your room. Now. Are we clear? Do you understand?”
Her small body jerked as her eyes widened, then a ragged breath rattled from her pouting lips as she whirled to face me. I could feel her heavy stare studying me, the defiance simmering in her, but I held my ground and didn’t look at her.
“Start moving. The bag. Your room. Now,” I repeated, softly but firmly.
From my peripheral vision I saw her pick up her backpack, drop it heavily on the marble, and then I heard her feet running across the tile and a door slamming all the while Leland and I continued to square off with our eyes.
Leland exhaled a long breath as his eyes widened. “How did you get her to do that?”
“I wanted it. I told her. Forgone conclusion.”
He was staring at me, dumbstruck. “Alan Manzone is right. You’re like the horse whisperer for children.”
I was about to bite off a curt goodbye when movement from beyond the kitchen caught my eye. Fearing that Ella had come back, I stopped and turned.
“Ah, you’ve hired a new manny,” a man sneered, his gaze slowly taking me in from head to toe. “One more agreeable for Daddy this time. Screwing the help, Lee?”
“Still sucking old man rich cock?” Leland replied condescendingly.
“Every chance I get. Jealous?”
My first reaction—oh fuck, who is this dildo?—was followed by revulsion in being called the manny that was quickly lost by the grim realization that this had to be Leland’s ex-husband.
That prompted me to make a more thorough assessment of him. Late twenties. Nice build for a man on the shorter side. Dark hair to complement boyish good looks. Attractive but—better words wouldn’t come to me so I stopped trying to find them—effeminate and slimy. I sure as fuck didn’t like that Leland had gone from a man like that to a man like me.
Leland relaxed back against the counter and crossed his arms. “Get out of my house, Jamie. You know the rules. You’re not allowed to step foot in here. Do it again and I’ll short your alimony payment.”
“I’d prefer it if you sic your new manny on me,” he sneered. “He looks fun.”
He leaned in to me and bit at the air with his teeth.
I held him in an icy stare. “Get out of my face or I’ll pump a bullet in you.”
He took a hurried step back, palms up in front of him. He was only mocking me, but I wasn’t going to lose my control over a miserable prick like him.
We stared each other down like junkyard dogs snarling over the same bone and the air grew acute with tension. He didn’t back down, but he wasn’t smiling or mocking me anymore.
He looked away first. “We’ll talk soon, Leland. This isn’t over. Not by a long shot.”
Lee rolled his eyes. “So melodramatic always. You know the way. You can show yourself out, pet.”
I kept my gaze glued on the worthless prick all the way to the entry until the door squeaked open then closed. After letting a few seconds pass to cool the scene, I looked back to find Leland studying me, looking grossly uncomfortable for the first time since I’d known him.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said slowly, “and I’d prefer not to hear it. He’s the kind of mistake you make when your heart has been broken and you’re grieving another man.”
The slight tightening of his jaw held my words at bay, and damn if it didn’t deflate a measure of the anger in me as well. Grieving another man? What the fuck was that about? It sounded genuine, and I resented the curiosity he stirred in me because it dragged me farther into this rabbit hole he’d tricked me into.
Rabbit hole? Understatement. This was one fucked-up situation. Mr. Perfect did not have a perfect life.
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” I replied calmly. “It’s none of my business and never will be.”
His grimness faded into amusement. “You were doing so well at being gracious until the never will be part.”
I felt a sting from that since being petty went against my grain. “Then it’s good that I’m leaving. I’m not feeling very gracious toward you right now. Jared will be able to find someone suitable to replace me.”
His expression grew anxious and fierce. “I don’t want suitable. I want the best I can hire to protect my daughter. I want you.”
There was just enough roughness to his voice that I felt it all the way to my balls. My cock was as fickle as I was vain.
Ego rub—best.
Cock tease—I want you.
Leland knew just how to tap into both my weaknesses.
I didn’t want to say it, but I couldn’t stop myself. “If your daughter is the priority here I’d bring back Rosa. Even a blind man could see your daughter needs stability and order in her life, and booting the nanny wasn’t the smartest move. What happened, Lee? You do some night maneuvers with the nanny that made it awkward to keep her here?”
His face tightened. “I did nothing of the sort and I’m offended you thought I could have. It wasn’t me fucking Rosa. It was Jamie. It made it necessary to get rid of her. He was screwing Ella’s nanny to get information on me after the divorce. I can’t have people working for me I don’t trust.”
That disclosure sounded paranoid in the extreme, in the least merely fucked up, and worse, it was irrational how relieved it made me feel to discover that he wasn’t that deplorable since nothing about Leland should have mattered to me at this point.
“Like I said, it’s not my business.”
His tiger eyes riveted on me. “Then why did you want to know, if it didn’t matter to you?”
Good point. So I ignored it.
He agitatedly raked a hand through his hair. “Please stay. I need you.”
I felt his voice in an acute way that was nearly painful. Lot of thoughts flew through my head, none that I wanted. Nonetheless, I couldn’t contain all of it.
“Who’s Richard?” I asked, inflectionless.
His amber eyes widened and brightened. “You don’t miss a thing, do you?” He exhaled heavily and shoved his hands deep into his pockets, a gesture of discomfort that looked out of place on him. “He was my partner for fifteen years before Jamie. We had Ella together. He died in the line of duty two years ago.”
Line of duty? “Was he a cop?”
“No, a Fed.” Leland’s jaw made the slightest tremble from emotion. “Can we not talk about this, please? It’s been difficult on all of us.”
My cursory read was that difficult didn’t even touch the situation here. Still being here, I didn’t doubt, qualified me for certifiable.
“You’re needed here. Don’t make my mistake Ella’s consequence. I’m out of time. Even if Jared found a replacement it wouldn’t be you. Stay.”
I grabbed my drink and tossed it down, needing something to focus on other than him. But it wasn’t working. No surprise. He was a clever prick. Needed. Stay. He’d learned enough in three days in a hotel room fucking me to know not only every one of my physical hot buttons, but the emotional ones as well.
Held in his unrelentingly pleading amber eyes, I made one of the few rash decisions in my life, and I didn’t know how I reached it—was it because everything about him in that moment screamed beseeching man? Or was it that the inescapable sense of loyalty and duty in me kicked up from knowing one of Ella’s dads had died on the job? Or was it because, even after playing his perverse game with me, there wasn’t anything I wanted more than to feel my cock in him?
I wasn’t ready for the answer so I didn’t look for it.
I stared out the wall of glass, ticking off the pros and cons in my head. The latter was the lengthier list. What the fuck. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do, but if there was a chance in hell this wouldn’t lead to the worst mistake of my life, I wanted it.
I wasn’t even close to forgiving Leland, but I wasn’t going to walk out the door either—not yet.
After setting my glass on the counter, I turned to face him. “You and me, Leland. That’s a done deal. Over. If I stay here, take the job, there is no us and there never will be. Are we clear?”
I could hear him suck in a full chest of air. “If that’s how you need it, then that’s how it’ll be.”
My gray eyes bore into his amber. “I’m not agreeing to take the job.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“Nothing. Instinct tells me this is a no-win situation. That little girl in there is hostile and untrusting of everyone. It makes her a danger to herself the second she sets foot on Mexican soil. The cornerstone of any successful security team is trust. You could hire a SEAL team for her 24/7 and it wouldn’t matter because she doesn’t trust and won’t listen. As for you—what I know of you warns I should get the hell out of here as quickly as I can. But I’m not doing that yet. Don’t push me, Leland. Let’s just leave it for tonight at I’m not saying no.”