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All That I Am (Men of Monroe Book 1) by Rachel Brookes (27)

26

BEN

Sasha was taking her sweet time at the door, and after finishing the last of my beer, I stood from the couch and looked toward the entryway. Call it intuition, but something drew me to the front of the house. When she came into view, she was shaking her head from side to side and hushed voices filled the air, which caused my pace to increase.

I moved in beside her and felt her eyes dart to me, but my attention was focused on the man standing in front of her, holding a six-pack of beer and wearing way too much Cologne.

His back straightened, and he pushed out his chest in a feeble attempt to intimidate me. “And you are?”

I didn’t bother answering him. I allowed my presence and closeness to Sasha tell him exactly who the fuck I was.

“Uh, Danny, I’m busy tonight,” Sasha announced when she felt me up against her back. “Now’s not the best time.”

His jaw ticked, and his voice rose. “Who the hell are you?“

“I’m her busy.” I leaned in, brushing Sasha’s neck with my lips. “Wrap this up, Sash, we have plans tonight.”

I didn’t have the patience or energy to deal with what was going on out front. I was tired as shit, and my plans for the night were to drink beer, talk to Sasha, and hopefully end the night by sinking inside of her. I tagged another beer from the fridge, topped up her glass of wine, and made my way back to the living room. By the time she returned, I’d settled back on the couch and found a replay of a Patriots game.

Her voice cracked when she said softly, “You should go.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“I need to think,” she said, a little louder this time. “And I can’t do that with you sitting beside me.”

I gave her my attention. “No.”

“You cannot say no when I say I need to think,” she hissed, and fire hit her eyes.

“You can sit beside me, drink your wine, and do your thinking. I’m going to finish my beer and watch the rest of the game, and then I’ll be having dessert because I’ve missed it over the past couple of days. And just so we are clear, eating you will be my dessert. You’ve got about forty minutes to get lost in your thoughts before I bring you back to now. I don’t know who that was, but I’ve got a good fucking idea, and you need to end that.”

Her eyes shot wide, and I knew I’d hit her deep.

“You got any problems with what I just said?”

“Well, no, but I do have a slight problem with your caveman tendencies, and I have a major problem with how it affects me.”

I shot her a wink, which resulted in receiving an eye roll and a huff of frustration. Fuck, her sass made me hard. She didn’t say anything else, the need to fight leaving her. Lifting my beer to my lips, I settled back into her couch, fixed my eyes on the television, and continued watching the game with the woman who was becoming something to me sitting beside me.

The past week had been fucked. Two shit days had turned into seven days of hell. Simple as that. Going back to that club had been torture. I never wanted to step through those doors again, but I needed to finish what was started three years ago. Seeing Jacqueline was harder than I could have imagined. I barely recognized her, and that fucked with my head. But it was seeing the effects on Fletch that almost killed me. The strongest man I knew was a complete shell of himself. All I could hope was that we had enough on O’Leary to lock him away for a long time, so his filth would be gone for good. If it was left up to me, I’d have his dick ripped clean off his body and forced it down his throat. That was just the beginning of the hurt that someone who organized a rape should be dealt. He’d already destroyed one person who meant something to me, and there was no way he’d get close to destroying something I was building here in Monroe. I would die before that happened.

But through the storm, the thought of one person gave me peace. The blonde-haired, green-eyed beauty who was now giving me the silent treatment.

"Danny was my college boyfriend."

The sound of her soft, barely-there voice pulled me from the game and I shifted on the couch to look at her.

"I've been single for a long time. A really long time. It was probably like eight months ago, he started coming through town for work, and I saw him at Hamilton’s one night. Andy, my friend that works there, had been supplying me with cocktails all night, and I was seriously tipsy, so Danny offered to drive me home. And then, well yeah, you can guess what happened.”

"Right."

"And, well it’s nothing regular, and if I’m being honest, it’s not that great. But I really like sex, and, well, when you really enjoy sex, and you don’t get it for a while, desperation calls for desperate measures."

Fuck, she was cute.

"So, that's why he turned up tonight. I didn’t invite him. I haven't heard anything from him since long before you barged into my life. Sometimes he turns up and expects sex—hence the beer—and this may make me sound like a complete hussy, but I tend to need to be drunk, or at least tipsy, to go there with him. Oh crap, that does make me sound like a hussy.” She groaned and dropped her eyes to her lap.

“You'll be getting more than regular sex now, and you are not a fucking hussy.”

Her cheeks flushed and the innocent Sasha who would occasionally show her face appeared.

"You've got to tell him that you've got a man now so his services are no longer required."

"I've got a man?" she asked with a raised brow.

"I've got a cock, Sweetheart, so that makes me a man. I've got a cock that you'll continue to see, fuck, suck and hold, so that makes me your man.”

She lifted her glass to her lips and finished half of her wine in one pull. Leaning over, she placed the now empty glass on the coffee table and sat back against the couch. Her eyes roamed over my face in concentration as I’m sure her mind began to go crazy.

"I've only done two of those things lately," she declared in a low voice. "I haven’t given a guy a blow job in a long time."

"You’re not a fan?” Fuck, I hoped she was a fan.

Her eyes shot wide. "I enjoy giving blow jobs, but I just don’t drop to my knees for anyone. It’s super intimate to me. It's like kissing. I never fully kiss a man unless I want it to mean something to me."

"You almost kissed me the day after finding out I was single.”

"Yeah," she breathed out.

I knew our whole conversation had just turned. She was either going to run away in her thoughts or start talking without reservations.

“I know.”

Fuck, I wanted this woman in my life.

"You gonna kiss me again?"

Her eyes found mine. “I want to, but I don’t think I should.”

“You’ve got to stop thinking, Sweetheart.”

“I can’t just stop thinking, Benjamin. Can you just switch off your alphaness?” she questioned with an arched brow and waited a second before starting up again. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, you can’t.”

Now, I was grinning huge. “Fuck me.”

“And I know I want to kiss you because you were super cute with Lily today, you brought over my favorite Mexican food and double cheese dip, and you have epic facial hair. I’ve never kissed a guy with that much facial hair before.”

"So, what you're saying is that you only want to kiss me because I thought your girl’s kid was cute, I brought over your favorite food, and I got lazy and decided not to shave?"

"Yep, that’s about right.” She nodded, sass dripping off her every word.

"Get the fuck over here," I growled, then I grabbed her around the waist and hurled her onto my lap.

"Ben, what are you—"

I slammed my lips to her and she melted against me.

Yep.

She was so fucking worth it.

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