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All That I Am (Men of Monroe Book 1) by Rachel Brookes (34)

33

SASHA

I pulled my cardigan around my body and walked, barefoot, toward my front door. I’d spent the morning organizing my home office and baking cookies. Anything to keep my mind active and to stop me thinking about the chaos that had been thrust into my life. This week had been a continuous wave of ups and downs. Thankfully, Sass provided a great distraction, so I could ignore the phone calls and text messages. I went to work before the sun rose and stumbled home long after sundown. The visits to Sass began almost immediately. Everyone came to me but Ben. He gave me the space I begged for. To be honest, I didn’t think his caveman tendencies would have done that. I thought his alphaness would have switched on and he would be there when I turned up, and I thought he wouldn’t leave until I did. Although he hadn’t visited, his texts were there every morning when I woke, and his would be the last I received before I slept. It was like he was waking up with me, without being in bed beside me.

I never responded.

I gave myself the once over in the mirror, decided that I looked semi decent, and then unlocked the front door and pulled it out.

I really needed to start looking through the peephole.

“What are you doing here?" I gasped, not believing who was standing at my front door.

“It’s Sunday," Ben replied, as if I’d asked the craziest question he’d ever heard.

I took him in. He was wearing dark denim jeans, a black hoodie, and black boots. His sharp jaw was peppered with dark stubble, his blue eyes crystal clear, and in his hands was the infamous white plastic container. That container was going to be the death of me.

"I know the day, Ben. I just don't understand why you’re here."

“I’m giving you space during the week, but Sundays you’re mine. Sundays are ours.”

My heart flipped over in my chest as I stared at him with wide eyes. He could not be serious. After everything that had happened, he was standing here because it was Sunday, and he was standing here with cake? I pulled my cardigan in tighter, hoping to warm my shivering body, and I waited.

“You going to let me in, or do I have to beg?”

I scoffed. “I doubt you’ve ever had to beg for a thing in your life.”

“There’s never been anything I was so desperate to have before, Sweetheart. I’m willing to beg for an hour of your time though.”

It had been a long week without him, and here he was willing to beg for an hour of my time because Sundays were ours. Conflicting emotions burst to life inside me.

“One hour,” I warned, and I got a smirk in response.

An hour turned into four.

One piece of cake turned into three.

Ben’s laughter was still my favorite sound in the world.

Sundays went from being my favorite day to my most confusing of the week.

* * *

The sound of my front door unlocking sailed upstairs and crashed into my bedroom.

I glanced at the clock on my bedside table.

11:03 p.m.

Sunday.

Another week had passed since I’d seen Ben.

I rolled to my side, my eyes locked on the door, and I cuddled my pillow. Warmth and nervous butterflies came alive inside me. This was insane. So insane. I’d told Ben to stay away, and he did. Except on Sundays. The morning and evening texts had continued during the week, but I hadn’t seen or spoken to him. Today, I had a constant rotation of visitors, and every time someone knocked on the front door, I assumed it was him. The day started with Crazy John dropping in. He brought breakfast and stayed until after dinner. He watched football, while I read a book, and then he cooked on the grill, and I made a salad. We talked about nothing, but everything. That was the great thing about Crazy John—you never knew what topic of conversation you’d have. Today we discussed everything from 80s music or what flowers I should plant in the spring, to his hatred of broccoli and his fascination with space. What we didn’t discuss was anything happening around Hamilton’s, which, to be honest, I was grateful for. Missy came over at lunchtime, during her break at the diner, and she burst through the door with one arm carrying a tray of coffees, and the other holding a bag from my favorite store. She’d seen a handbag that apparently screamed Sasha, so she needed to buy it for me. Crazy John had an opinion about that, and nearly had a heart attack when he found out the price. Then we had to have a discussion about mine and Missy’s lack of budget skills. After Missy left, Austin dropped in. He took residence on the couch beside Crazy John, and they started talking football so I zoned out. Then Shelley called and I spoke to her for an hour while I lay out in the sun. It had been a busy day. But no sign of Ben.

Until now.

I sucked in a breath when his shadow appeared at my bedroom door. The moonlight peeking through the blinds allowed me to watch him. Silently, he moved through the bedroom. For a big man, he was as quiet as a mouse. The sound of his keys and badge hitting the bedside table hit the air, and then the familiar sound of clothing falling to the floor caused me to go solid.

What was he doing?

My question was answered when the comforter was lifted next to me. He then slid into bed and hurled my body close to his.

“What are you doing?” I gasped, my body tight against his. “You did not just climb into bed with me.”

He groaned and pulled me in closer. “I’ve had a really shitty day, Sash, so can we just get some shuteye, and you can give me your attitude tomorrow.”

“What happened?” I asked, lifting my head and looking at him through the moonlight. He had his eyes closed, and even through the darkness I could see the stress etched on his face.

He opened one eye and shifted his face to look down at me. “Can we talk in the morning?”

Defeated, I whispered. “Okay.”

I lay there, still, but now wide-awake. My body was curved around his, his arm holding me close. There was no way of escaping his embrace. It had been two weeks since I’d been in this position, and I couldn’t ignore the feeling of peace it brought me. Even though we were no more, I’d never lie and say that his arms weren’t the greatest kind of protection I’d ever felt.

He sighed, and then I moved slightly when he reached over and turned on the lamp. I squinted as bright light swamped my bedroom.

“You can sleep,” I whispered, blinking up at him.

“Not when I know your head is spinning out of control.”

“O’Leary left town just after our showdown at Missy’s. But shit is still happening.”

“Like what?”

“A fight broke out tonight at Hamilton’s between one of O’Leary’s men and Carson. O’Leary’s guy made a move on the Mayor’s daughter—offered her money to fuck him in the back alley.”

“What?” I gasped, and shot up to a sitting position as my head began to pound. “Ben, I went to school with the Mayor’s daughter. They came to dinner at our house when we were younger. The Mayor was good friends with my Dad, and Drew and his daughter had a little thing in high school.”

He rubbed his hands over his face and pulled himself up so he was sitting beside me, frustration rolling off him. “There’s more.”

How could there be more?

“When she said no, he offered her drugs and more money. Then he decided to get physical.”

My gasp tore through my bedroom. Then the anger switched on. “He touched her,” I hissed. “At my family’s bar!”

He shifted in my bed until he was back lying down, and he curled me up so my cheek rested on his heart, with my arm was over his stomach. His hands immediately found my hair, and his fingers ran through it.

“Is she okay?” I whispered, worry filling my veins. “Is Carson okay?”

“She is shaken up, but she is okay. Carson got there before anything escalated. The Mayor is pissed, and when I left Drew was trying to calm down the situation. This is what O’Leary does. His men do the dirty work, they cause the chaos, and he sits back and watches with a smug grin on his face because he thinks he is untouchable.”

“Is he untouchable?” I asked the question that sent shivers down my spine.

“He’ll fuck up, and we will be waiting.”

“It’s like he is trying to ruin us.”

“We are going to figure this out.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“No more secrets, Sash.”

He rolled us over, and I sighed as his body cocooned mine. His lips kissed my bare shoulder blade, and I melted back against him.

No more secrets.

Even though I was filled with worry, I slept the best I had in two weeks being back in his arms.

When I woke up, he was gone.

It was no longer Sunday.

A new week had begun without him.

* * *

“He is so damn sexy.”

I looked up from the order form I was working on and glanced over at Anna. The large floor to ceiling windows that provided a perfect view of Main Street had stolen her attention, and now she was staring at something or someone and was practically panting.

“Who are you talking about?” I asked with a laugh.

She didn’t get a chance to respond. My question was answered when my eyes latched onto exactly who she was talking about.

My Sunday guest had arrived.

Sunday #3.

Ben stepped through the doors of Sass, and his eyes darted straight to me. As he stalked toward me, he gave me the once over, and a devious smile took over his face. It sent a pleasurable shiver down my spine.

Once again a week had gone by, and aside from the good morning and good night messages, I hadn’t seen or heard from him. He really was giving me what I asked for. A week without him gave me too much time to think. It had been three weeks since I’d kissed him, and I missed it. And let’s not talk about the last time I experienced a unique kind of euphoria between my thighs. After having the hottest sex of my life, I of course missed it. I’d tried not to think about him, but he’d clawed his way into the quiet moments when it was just me and my thoughts.

“You’re a hard woman to find. I thought you didn’t work on Sundays?” He asked, his voice rumbling through my bones.

“It was a busy week, so I came in to catch up.”

“Do you have time to grab some food at Missy’s?”

I bit my lip. “I’m a little busy.”

“Go. I’ve got this under control. And the paperwork you are working on can wait till tomorrow.” Anna declared, way too quickly, and started shooing at me.

I shot her a what-the-hell look. What was it with everyone in my life wanting to rat me out?

As if the universe was really against me, my stomach decided at that moment to rumble loud enough for Ben to hear. His low laugh, and rise of his brow confirmed that he’d definitely heard it.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Come on, I’m taking you out.” He smirked, and rumbled loud enough for him to hear, and his smirk transformed into a grin.

“You are so freaking bossy.” I groaned, although there was a smile tugging on my own lips that I chose not to hide.

I grabbed my purse, and as I walked toward him, he gave me another once over. Even though I’d spent most of the day in the office, I’d spent my morning in a meeting with a new supplier, so I got dressed accordingly. Knee length pencil skirt in Charcoal grey, a white blouse that showed just enough chest to be on the scandalous side yet still classy, and I paired my outfit with fuchsia pumps I’d ordered in from one of my favorite shoe stores in New York.

“Those skirts you wear are fucking torture,” he growled when I reached him. “And don’t even get me started on how those heels make your legs look.”

Heart.

Thud.

Panties.

Wet.

“You like?” I breathed, looking up at him.

His eyes flashed, and I knew the answer before he even responded. “You know I do, Sweetheart.”

“Well, I’ll keep wearing them then.” I licked my lips, and shot him a wink. “Lets go get some food, Detective.”

Oh great, now I was flirting.

I hurried toward the door, swinging my hips with every step I took. Knowing I had Ben’s eyes on me meant I added a little more sass to my walk. I stepped out into the Monroe sunshine, and basked in the warmth. Ben touched on the small of my back, and he didn’t remove his hand as we crossed the street and weaved between other people on the sidewalk, and made our way toward Missy’s.

“Well, look who it is.”

I froze, as Edward’s voice swirled around me like a tormenting storm. Ben’s hand shot off my back, and wrapped around my hand, and pulled me close to his side.

“Leave,” Ben growled, his voice a threat that not many would want to face. “Get the fuck out of here.”

Edward’s evil stare intensified and a smug look hit his face. “I’m a free man, Hunt, and this is a public place, so I have every right to be here.”

“What do you want?” I found my voice, and I was going to use it. “Seriously, Edward, what do you want?”

“Sasha,” Ben warned, and squeezed my hand. “Don’t.”

“No, Ben. I’m sick of this.” I dropped Ben’s hand and stepped toward Edward. At that moment I was a pissed off woman with enough sass, confidence, and annoyance to go head to head with the worlds most arrogant man, and Edward O’Leary was in my line of fire. “Edward, what do you want? What do you get out of this? It’s obvious you’re loaded, you left Monroe years ago, so why are you back? What could you possibly get out of being here? You sure as hell aren’t getting me, so you need to get that out of your head. Also, why would you do this to Drew? You two were like brothers growing up, and now you’re causing shit for him. You’re an asshole, Edward. Stay away from me. Stay away from Drew. Stay away from Hamilton’s. If you don’t, then I will make it my mission to find a way to get you to stay away.”

“Are you threatening me?” He smirked, his glare ice cold. “You’re standing here, in front of your cop boyfriend, and you’re threatening me?”

I don’t know where it came from, but I scoffed and unleashed the mega sass. “Threat? Promise? Same goddamn thing, and I know Ben supports what I’m saying. I want to have lunch, and you are cutting into my lunch date with Ben, so if you could kindly piss off and leave us alone, I’d appreciate that. You do not deserve any of my time.”

My whole body shook as I stormed toward Missy’s, pulled open the glass door with all of my strength, and stepped in. I had no clue if Ben followed me, if Edward had left, or if I was breathing or not.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind, and I slammed my eyes shut as Ben’s unique scent hit me and his warmth engulfed me.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” Ben hummed into my ear, and my body began to slouch against his firmness.

I spun around, buried my face into his chest, and clutched onto the edge of his shirt. I didn’t care that we were standing in the middle of Missy’s during the lunch rush. I didn’t focus on Missy’s hushed voice asking Ben what was going on. I didn’t concentrate on anything but Ben’s heartbeat. Ben fisted my hair and brought me closer to the safety he offered. I sucked in an unsteady breath and tried to regain control. Slowly, I felt the shakes ease, and I loosened my grip of his shirt. Looking up at him, my smile was weak, but his was comforting.

“Did I just majorly screw up by ranting at him?” I asked softly.

“No, it’s fine. I’m proud of you for sticking it to him. We will deal with him.”

“He just makes me so mad. I should have totally dropped the f-bomb. Pretty sure it was the perfect scene to drop it.”

His soft chuckle shocked me. “Totally fucking worth it, Sasha.”

I still didn’t exactly know what he meant when he said that, but I’d heard it enough to know it was something to do with my crazy.

He grabbed my hand and we moved to the usual booth, then I slid in and he followed in beside me.

Missy rushed over, worry painted on her face as she looked at us both. “Someone better start talking. Sash, you look like you’ve seen a ghost, and Ben you look ready to kill a man.”

“I just had a chat with Edward outside.” I admitted, and offered the weakest of smiles. “Outside.”

“What!” she screeched, turning her attention to Ben and glaring at him. “Why did you allow this? He shouldn’t get near her. Are you fucking crazy? He is a loose cannon.”

“Miss, I started it,” I reached out and grabbed her hand.

“Are you crazy?” Her screech got louder, and now people were staring. “My best friend is crazy. Crazy!”

“You’re causing a scene.” I laughed softly. Even if she was having a breakdown, she was still settling me with her outrageousness like she always did.

“I don’t care. Are you okay?” she asked, sliding in opposite us, her anxious gaze darting between us.

“I’m fine. I got a lot off my chest, and I wouldn’t have said anything if Ben wasn’t with me.”

“Well, then I guess that’s okay, although—,” She stopped suddenly, and realization dawned on her. “Why are you two even here? Together?”

“It’s Sunday,” Ben answered, as if everyone knew what Sundays meant.

“And?”

“Sash and I do Sundays together. It’s our day.”

“But?” Her confused eyes flashed to me. “Aren’t you two—.”

His hand found my leg under the table and he gave it a squeeze when he repeated, “It’s our day.”

She looked back at Ben, and her face softened. “Stop being so damn swoony. You’re making it hard to be angry at you.”

Ben laughed. “I’ll try my hardest.”

She slid out from the booth and stood at the end of the table, and pointed at me. “Don’t you talk to Edward again.”

She stormed off back to the counter, and when she disappeared into the kitchen, I swung around to face Ben. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and a simple touch unleashed goosebumps on my skin.

“He wrecked our Sunday,” I said, soft.

“We still have plenty of hours left to erase him.”

“I’ve got work to do.”

“I’ll bring cake to your place when you’re done, and if you’re lucky, I’ll let you watch one of your chick flicks.”

“Pfft, you love my chick flicks.”

“I only like your chick flicks because they lead to you getting naked and panting under me. You promising me naked panting Sasha?”

I rolled my eyes, ignoring the rush of heat soaring through me. “You’re dreaming.”

“Believe me, I’ve been dreaming of being inside you a lot over the past three weeks.”

So had I.

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